Yes. Relationships are much more shallow. Some guys will just hang around me so they look cool and get girls. Some guys will treat me like shit when I haven't said a word to them, because they assume I'm "Chad Thundercock" who maliciously steals all their girls. A lot of girls think they're in love with me at first site, so it makes talking with them awkward. They think it isn't weird that they're being super nice to me, because "omg you're just such a nice guy :D".
I'm 20, and the only friends I still have are ones from childhood, or through special circumstance. You can also call it "lonely by choice", but it's not like the people who surround me truely care about me, and if they do it's very had to tell.
I imagine it's harder for a girl. Attractive girls seem to gather attention ten fold to the degree I get it. People, especially here on 4chan, assume that just having people like you for being attractive is some kind of endearing social experience, and that "chads and stacys" are lonely by choice. The real choice is this: befriend plebs who don't really have anything interesting to contribute to your life and just want to use you, or be exclusive to a few people you trust.
nah. There's a lot of shallow people who are hot and have always been hot (never developed a personality) but there are also plenty of people who were ugly as teens and then blossomed into adulthood, and have developed great personalities because of it. Dont'a just get a book by it's cover, but there are a surprisingly large number of shallow people. Not all of them are even attractive, though.
They could start by not trying to hit on you the first instance they meet you. Striking up a normal conversation at on appropriate place would suffice. I also don't care how attractive someone is. They're sleazy if they try to pick you you up before they even know anything about you. Their intentions are obviously sleazy.
>>16747626 I never had any friends but got a lot of attention from women. I thought a portion of that attention was being raised by almost exclusively women or feminine people so I knew how they thought. It would be saddening if that was the reason no guys wanted to be my friends.
Again, they don't know anything about you other than they find you attractive. Maybe if they had a few conversations with you, they could decide there is some real compatibility. So if they're just going up to you trying to hit on you, their intentions are obvoius.
Saying hello, and striking up a conversation is fine. Don't expect a hook up after a short conversation about the how your day's going, but that's not the sleazy I'm talking about. the sleazy I'm talking about is "hey, babe, what's up, wanna party? Here's my number."
In attractive guys saying hello isn't sleazy, in fact it's nice if they don't try to be pushy.
>>16747626 I've always been told I'm handsome. Not sure about 10/10, but I'm rather kooky at times and have very limited range of interests. Small talk bores me, the prospect of drugs is unappealing, parties are loud, I don't enjoy dancing, I do have three close friends.. I only bonded with them through college, although maybe I'll recconect with childhood friends, since I only restarted using social media. Sadly, I might get too close since vidya is the only thing I really do.
If you ask me, it really boils down to what kind of person you are, I know a good bunch of people with unpleasant looks but get along fine because they're very amicable and cool.
I was obese in high school with a 6/10 face (good genetics, mom was a model in the 80s and we're identical) and I had so, so many friends who seemed to genuinely care about me. Went to college, lost the weight, worked out, face completely changed to a 8-9/10. I'm lonely as fuck now. I used to be able to make friends and not worry - I have _no_ female friends now. I've been accused of sleeping with boyfriends I've never said more than 10 words to, I've been accused of sleeping with people I've never even met before. Even my guy friends all betray their true nature at some point - they've all tried to sleep with me. I honestly can't tell you if it's the human experience/growing up and realizing more and more that people are shitty (and in turn, becoming shittier yourself) or if people truly are shallow. That being said, I work in sales/retail and my numbers are always ridiculously great, despite the fact that I honestly feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. People tell me I can 'sell ice to an eskimo' but I honestly think they're just fooled by appearances. Just some random thoughts.
I'm happy to be friends with a girl like you, but that doesn't mean I don't also want to fuck you.
The two aren't mutually exclusive, this shit isn't black and white.
And why wouldn't you want a good friend who you can also sleep with? Isn't that the whole point of a relationship? If you can get a best friend part and the best sex part with the same person why wouldn't you go for it?
Q: So is it true attractive people always have shitty or no friends at all? Seems like one person is jealous or the other is just using them.
A: The way I see it attractive people often get more emotionally damaged because they are more attractive on the dating market/friend market. While less attractive people often/tend to be lonely but don't have to go through the turmoil of multiple breakups because they don't have the chance to have one in the first place. For instance Marilyn Monroe was extremely attractive in her time period, and was immensely screwed up, beauty did nothing good for her.
>>16748308 I have friends who don't want to have sex with me or haven't tried to, and a fwb of 2 years. But, as a point/personal anecdote, I used to be a part of a group of 6 people - 2 girls, 4 guys. The 2 girls were best friends. I met one guy and we began 'talking', I introduced him to the other guys but she didn't get to meet him until we all went out drinking together. They got along well, she knew he and I were dating, and they went home together. She then cut me off as a friend, accused me multiple times of trying to break up their relationship (I was honestly pissed so I blocked them both and stopped talking to either) and she would randomly hit me up and ask me random, paranoid questions about he and I ("did you two ever sleep together???"). They were engaged 5 months later, and broke up 4 weeks later. The remaining 3 guys - 2 had long term girlfriends, 1 was single. I went drinking with the 1 single friend and a few others and eventually everyone else went home/tapped out, and I got stupidly drunk. He carried me home (we live across the street from one another) and took me to his place and laid me in his bed. I told him I wanted to go home and he kept insisting I stay in his bed etcetc until I freaked out and woke up the whole house - the two other roommates took me home and there was a really, really big deal about it. He apologized and acknowledged his actions to me, but I don't spend time with him alone anymore. The two in long term relationships - one tried to cheat on her multiple times with me, the other one I actually slept with once he and his girlfriend broke up. I just don't keep friends anymore. I have 3 close friends, and they're all straight males who aren't attracted to me and vice versa. One is a best friend from childhood, the other from college. Only other people are friends from childhood, but that's more of nostalgic appreciation, I'm sure. tl;dr drama. i don't have friends and I don't want any.
No, for every attractive person with a fake personality there is an ugly toxic disgruntled person. Normal people exist as a completely separate group from those two, and attractiveness there is mixed because no one cares too much.
>>16748342 And when I evaluate my 3 friends, there's a trend - two are body builders (one is a model, the other is a personal trainer), the other is a swimmer with a pretty face. I complain about people being shallow, but.
I'm not all that attractive, but I've had a few friends in the past admit to me that they only talked to me because I had big tits or a nice ass. It's a mixed feeling. I'm not really close with anyone. Often, other women were cold to me, or downright hostile.
Now that I've popped a baby out, that's less of a problem. My body is significantly less nice.
>>16748403 Physically attractive people are one thing. You can be attractive by being charismatic, funny, charming and giving value to others.
One girl I know stands out in this regard. She is exceptionally good looking but doesn't discriminate who she talks to based on who's attractive enough to grace her presence. At least unless you give her a reason to avoid you.
>>16748437 You're talking about me. I've been told a thousand and one times that I'm beautiful, gorgeous, whatever. But I have that dismorphia thing. My father was terrible and did all he could to not have me feel good about myself. He always told me I was ugly and fat. I look at pics and I was slim and lovely. I felt terrible about myself now I'm crying. Like when I got married I looked at the pics and I thought they were so terrible I cried I thought i looked ugly. Now, 10 years later I look at them and I was perfect. Once my dad told me that he didn't think I was pretty because I looked like his mother and his mother was a bitch and I looked like his sister and she was stupid. Well, I met my aunt and she is drop-dead beautiful and sweet and kind. My father was/is an asshole.
So there you are. I guess I'm attractive but I never feel that way. I look in the mirror and I'm like yuck.
The only thing I have is that I have daughters they are beautiful and they know this but I emphasize that kindness to people is important. Good looking people can be total assholes if they've always known it.
This is all over the place but this hits a nerve in me obviously.
People always thing it is a good think to hear "I love you", "You have a sexy voice", "You're handsome", "I came 48times", but in fact it is only on the surface. After a short time it doesn't make sense and leaves a void somewhere emotionally. I became disillusioned and desensitized for all kinds of emotions, because all guys and girls want your dick or presence for some shit.
I worked as a model, jazz musician and was offered money for sex or working as noble male escort on multiple occasions.
I'm a pretty "good guy" type of man and I can only agree that I'm somewhat emotionally screwed up from a lot of shit I went through. I also only have a handful (maybe even only a couple) of TRUE friends, but have like a million people that know me and all...
>>16747721 You sound like an autistic, socially retarded, bitch.
>>16748477 The only issue I have with this "attractive people have it harder because of emotional turmoil!" bullshit is that they always have new opportunities to start fresh and meet other people. They always have someone waiting in the wings for them. They always have options. I don't get those options; if a girl breaks up with me I'm much less certain I'll be able to find another one so easily. It's not an issue of my self esteem either, it's just being realistic about my looks and coming to terms with the fact that I'm not what most women find attractive so it's harder for me, period.
Yeah it kind of sucks knowing so many folks are shallow but is the alternative honestly better? I would argue that it's not. I would argue that if you're born in a world where looks matter that much and that's just how the world is, you're fortunate to be born on such a high rung and should do the best with it that you can.
Also having shitty relationships is not exclusive to attractive people; I've gone through hell with girls precisely because they liked me at first but lost that spark and dumped/flaked on me in the end. And I anticipate going through much more of that in the future, which is why I find it hard to sympathize with folks who insist being good looking and having options is not always easy. You're still more blessed than less attractive people at the end of the day.
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