Nah its not true, most down to earth people that are looking for a long time life partner know that looks are not permanent. People will grow old and "ugly" together, looks are not important for a long term successful relationship. Personality is, people only care about looks won't find that relationship, they might have lots of sex, short relationships and drama. Young people tend to go through a "looks matter" phase and then settle for more "ugly" down to earth guy that is father material. Mature women don't care about looks as much as you might think, that doesn't mean attraction isnt relevant.
>>16746477 Get money when you're older and fuck young gold diggers. Or look for people that are not as sure of their attractiveness. Also some people have unconventional thoughts on what attractive is. You know what's not going to get you laid? Crying about it anonymously on a message board. At least do it to a female friend, they may pity fuck you.
>>16746422 >Girls my age (25) aren't settling for anyone other than 6 pack Brad.
The fact that you really, actually believe this garbage is the problem. You're looking for excuses. The problem is you.
Source: Married a man who was obese when we started dating. I liked his personality and we had the same interests. He is now a healthy weight. Would have stayed with him even if he hadn't done the work to get there.
Source 2: Am a woman and have had many female friends over the years. These experiences have led me to conclude that we are not shallow, brainless, soulless harpies.
>>16746497 Ehhhhh I'm against this premise, but evidence is anecdotal. Very sketchy anecdotal at that. Girls being friends with other girls doesn't make girls not shallow. They are just as capable of being shallow as anyone else though and I wouldn't say more so. But lonely virgin males are alot more common than the female counter part and that brings into focus the argument that this is something women are doing. Is it true? Probably not? People do what makes them happy no amount of whining is gonna stop negative behaviors that have no disadvantages to the perpetrator anyway. So what can you do.
On a side note can we legalize and destigmatize prostitution yet? I mean it's already the default state we're in. Everyone is promiscuous as fuck may as well make it advantageous for pretty girls to fuck average guys right?
>>16746510 I was quite skinny actually. 5'7" 125 lbs. He was glad when I went on the pill and grew myself an ass! Am now 145 because of that and adulthood. Still not fat. Still not shallow. Thanks for playing.
>>16746510 >>16746528 Also, must add: my formally obese husband asked me out. Which is something a lot of men with the "women only like rich fit Chads" excuse seem incapable of doing. If you don't really, truly put yourself out there, nothing will happen.
>>16746534 I'm not, but you are right that I need to relax. Having my half of the human race be portrayed as shallow and heartless is annoying and frustrating, and seeing any woman get the Token Internet Response of 'you must be fat' makes my blood boil.
I will concede that I am especially predisposed to not caring about the weight of other people. I was raised by my obese grandmother. She was the most amazing person I have ever known. So I guess that taught me, both consciously and unconsciously, not to care much about what someone looks like so much as who they are in their soul.
Yeah, we all could, but dismissing someone's solid advice by saying "its the internet so you're probably making it up" is a real bullshit way to derail someone's argument. Like instead of actually coming up with a counter move you just flip the chess board and say no one wins.
I thought her perspective was insightful. And, being a grown ass man over the age of 25 she's generally right. Yes, a lot of women are obsessed with physical attributes at young ages, but so are men. Everyone is, they're children.
Its only when they become adults they realize that choosing someone to dedicate your life, time, and energy (which is something adults cherish far more than children) is about more than just who's fat and who isn't.
Waiting out the adolescent ignorance is tough but fuck, dude. Dating was fucking killer for all of us when we were kids, feeling rejected and on the outside is par for the course when it comes to teenagers and early 20's. There really isn't a way around it, but I can promise you will never overcome it if your response is to try to "trick" someone into sleeping with you or using your contempt for them as fuel for starting a relationship.
>>16746561 No I was ok with the advice its great for the average person, but at the same time alot it hinged on OP taking her word on alot of anecdotal personal life stuff.
Also young people dating isn't hard for everyone, and isn't that hard for most people. OP seems to have some crippling social issues, but even well adjusted people have major issues dating. I had one solid relationship my whole life and not for a lack of trying, but I'm not gonna blame it on society. I'm just not handsome enough to enjoy life, we should be focusing on teaching OP that lesson. Find something to fill the void of loneliness he'll feel most of his life, and dealing with the flaws of the person he'll end up settling with either out of desperation or pure luck of the draw.
>Did not say that OP is a jerk >Did not say that OP must be anti social >Did not say that OP needs to hit the gym (see 'would have stayed with him anyway' above)
I did make a blanket statement that nothing will happen for a person who does not put themselves out there. Because that's objectively true. Women don't trip and fall on your dick, you need to let them know that you're single and interested or they'll default assume that you're not.
I'm a decent-looking chick, and I can honestly say the men I fawn over would likely shock you. I think EVERYONE is cute I lay eyes on a good 98% of the time. Short, fat, bald, skinny, normal, etc, I say "awwwwwwww, he's cuuuuuute."
Am I less shallow than other women? No. But, who I find attractive happens to be a MUCH larger category than most. I've had people move up or down on how attractive I find them based on personality, but I don't think there's any one thing you can do to flip that switch.
>>16746951 Seconded. Call of Duty shirt means he likes vidya. I like vidya. We already have something in common we could talk about. And a different hair and facial hair style would do wonders for him.
>>16746372 There's probably something really unattractive about your personality and you don't realize it.
No girls would dump someone just because he's not a 10/10. Most girls would date someone slightly less attractive then them. Of course looks matter, sex is involved in romantic relationships and you can't have sex with someone you find repulsive, but looks aren't the most important thing for most girls.
>>16747026 Such a pity about anonymous Internet forums. If you could see me, you would not mistake me for Chad. I look decent enough, I guess, but I'll never get voted Sexiest Man Alive.
But the fact is, I don't have to be Chad, and neither do you. Looks make some difference, but they just plain don't carry the same weight with women as they do with men. Unless you're at the extreme high end of the scale, this works in your favor, not against you.
But that advantage CAN be squandered, and if your personality is this shitty, then you've clearly gone and done that. Small wonder women avoid you, when you think so little of them (and don't try to tell me you don't talk to them this way; your kind are never any good at hiding it). The red pill is a red flag.
>>16747119 Such a pity about anonymous Internet forums. If you could see me, you would not mistake me for Red Pill. I'm a bit bitter, I guess, but not more than anyone else.
But the fact is, I don't have to be Red Pill, and neither do you. Looks make a lot of difference, but they just plain don't carry the same weight with men as they do with women. Unless you're at the extreme high end of the scale, this works in your favor, not against you.
But that advantage CAN be squandered, and if your looks are this shitty, then you've clearly gone and done that. Small wonder women avoid you, when you don't look good enough for them (and don't try to tell me you're not Chad; your kind are never any good at hiding it). Being Chad is obvious.
>>16746372 >Why do girls only care about looks? We don't. When I met my guy, he was easily a 2/10 and had a health issue that caused him to look like a MtF trans. He was tall and had a large build, but everyone thought he was a woman (and that we were lesbians). His personality was amazing and he wasn't a negative asshole that was always down on himself, or others, so I gave him a chance. He has since taken care of that health issues, worked on his body (we do a lot of hiking together), and now he's at least an 8/10. Took a while to get there though, but well worth the wait.
women do care about looks. just wait till your 30s and the bio clock starts ticking and they become more desperate, with their looks fading they realise 9/10 chad might not be an option anymore and they might settle for 6/10 anon
>>16747980 they do date them all the time. If you are good-looking woman, no matter what big of a cunt you are- men will fall in love with you and date you. And you will be in much better position than average looking girl with nicer personality.
>>16748055 >'ve never seen a guy with anyone they hated. they don't hate them obviously. They love them but it doesn't matter what kind of personality they have, msot of the time. It called a halo effect. Obnoxious but good-looking? She is seen as a smart and independent bad girl. Boring and good-looking? She is demure, shy girl, your sweet angel.
>The only thing guys want from a girl is that she's not fat and is nice. See google result for "how to date a model/beautiful girl" as opposed to "how to date nice/funny girl". It is obvious what men care more about.
>>16748065 >they don't hate them obviously. They love them but it doesn't matter what kind of personality they have, msot of the time. It called a halo effect. >Obnoxious but good-looking? She is seen as a smart and independent bad girl. >Boring and good-looking? She is demure, shy girl, your sweet angel.
Sorry but guys have more self awareness than this. Boys are brought up to take care of their own problems and nobody is around to help them just because they're good looking unlike girls.
Obnoxious is obnoxious. Boring is boring. We don't make shit up in our heads because we don't have the luxury of seeing the world through rose tinted glasses.
And there's plenty of shit out there on how to date / find a nice girl.
>>16748180 >Sorry but guys have more self awareness than this Sorry but this simply isn't true for a great number of guys. Good that you are self aware but don't pretend everyone is on the same level. I say what I see and experience irl.
>>16748213 I just see what is happening in general, not only among people around me.
I can tell you there are endlessly more single girls who have nice personality but average looks than good-looking girls with medicore personalities. No one cares you are nice and fun to be around if you don't have cute looks to back it up.
>>16748232 >I can tell you there are endlessly more single girls who have nice personality but average looks than good-looking girls with medicore personalities.
Those average girls are single because they don't want an average guy, they want the guys that the good looking girls are getting (the 10/10 assholes / chads / unicorns) and they turn down every average guy waiting until their prince comes to save them from the tower.
A pretty face for a girl is the equivalent of a nice body for a man. >"as long as she isn't fat" easily translates into >"as long as he's cute" It's not about being chad thundercock - he's an asshole. But women need a guy they think is 'cute' - someone they're attracted to. Not someone who is hot, someone who fulfills their needs physically. I've slept with some hot guys before, but my dream guy is an east coast american-italian, 5'10"ish with an attitude, intelligent, sense of humour, accent, and glasses. The personality traits will make me interested in any guy, but it's the specific 'cute' traits ('italian' as a generalization in looks, glasses, 5'10" to my 5'6") that really solidify a guy for me. That's my take on it, anyways.
the most important thing to a guy is weight, which is the easiest thing to control (just stop eating and go for a jog, its not hard to do like building muscle which men have to do) and not only that a but guys are very happy to give leeway on that too (girls seem to think you have to be stick thin when curvy is the best. if you have a >4/10 face and a modicum of self control you win
>>16748421 You missed my point completely - you don't have to be even remotely decent in the face if you have some 'cute' feature about you. My stepfather is ugly as christ but my mother loves how chubby he is - she thinks chubby guys are cute (and she's 5'2" 140 at 50 years old, the woman looks amazing). tl;dr everyone has subjective tastes, stop crying that you don't have a decent enough personality to secure someone. also >the most important thing to a guy is weight when you stop thinking on such shallow terms, you'll start attracting women who aren't shallow it's like you're fucking 12
>>16748475 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c62Aqdlzvqk this woman is married. what is your excuse? If you're given a certain hand, instead of throwing your cards down and pouting and bitching about how you didn't 'have it fair', work around it. Considering you have access to the internet, literacy, and 4chan, I'd say you're doing pretty well at the 'game'.
>>16748493 Jesus Christ you're a lost cause. She has a _disease_ that causes her to be disgustingly skinny. By all means, the fact that only 2 people have it means that she should not be in the gene pool. Biologically speaking, she is not attractive to _anybody_. But she is an amazing person with a warm heart who has a lot of love to give, and because of that, she is surrounded by that reassurance. Not because she has a pussy, I'm pretty sure she'll break if she and her husband try to have sex beyond missionary jfc. Wallow in your misery.
>>16746523 >But lonely virgin males are alot more common than the female counter part and that brings into focus the argument that this is something women are doing. Is it true? Probably not? >>16746538 >Also, must add: my formally obese husband asked me out. Which is something a lot of men with the "women only like rich fit Chads" excuse seem incapable of doing. If you don't really, truly put yourself out there, nothing will happen. This is due to gender roles. As long as gender roles are a factor, men will always be disproportionately affected more, because a woman in theory will never have to initiate with a man. This is expected behavior from a man, and if he's incapable of doing it, he's going to be fucking single for a very long, quite possibly for life. Since a woman doesn't have to, she has slight advantage if she's shy and/or socially inept. Other factors come into play, such as attraction, but this is how it tends to work in general. Gender roles aren't as concrete add they once were, but it will take generations before they are eliminated...and not just regarding romance.
>>16746378 it's natural for people to hold standards based on their own looks. if someone is constantly rejected then they may lower their standards. This is what happens when someone is fat, or socially awkward, or different - in their own eyes this is (self-esteem and mental image). They will go for people they see as the same. if you're saying 'guys only go for looks' you might be looking at the guys who are 'good looking' and are with girls who are also good looking.
It's fucking annoying but hey, it happens and people can overcome this. it's a very personal affair though
>>16747268 >His personality was amazing and he wasn't a negative asshole that was always down on himself, or others, so I gave him a chance. I'll take the horrible generalizations and mental gymnastics
>>16748655 And god forbid you're not white and don't live in a big city. Those people are fucked. I feel especially bad for the Americanized Asian men, with the stereotypes they have to deal with. The ones that haven't lived here all their lives seem to do better though.
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