I have 5 days to get myself to look as fucked-up, run-down and

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Sleep with pepperonis on your face so you'll get pimples and acne

>>16743005
Get rolled over by a car the day before or something.
What could possibly need you to get so fucked up? Maybe it can help.

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>>16743005
Punch the wall a lot, hit yourself or ask someone else to punch you in the face, get some cigarrette burns, throw paint on you, etc.

>>16743015
>punch the wall
good call. I hadn't considered my hands, scarred/bruised knuckles would be a nice detail. Women notice everything.

>>16743032
Wait what... women? What are you doing anon?

>>16743043
long story short I need to lie to my mother.

>>16743047
Oh ok... well you should consider using red food coloring, get some of that on your injuries so they look more real and recent. Any small scar will look red and bloody as fuck.

>>16743047
I get a feeling this will not end well. Anyways, get in trouble and get hurt for it. I don't know, slap a buff guy's gf's ass in front of him or something.

>>16743051
Nah I'm going to punch a wall. She's seen enough injury trying to keep my dad and uncles alive, she could tell a fake one.

>>16743056
tomorrow's friday, might as well.

I'm a 130 pound shrimp though. Tips or clues on how to do that without getting killed or doing serious damage? Getting your spine fucked up for good looks pretty nasty.

>>16743065
Well, I'd suggest just fucking hitting yourself. Headbang a tree, punch the wall, you could get some bruises. If you are going to start a fight, do it with someone that won't end up killing you.

>>16743070
apparently some people do bruising as a substitute for cutting. I've forgotten what the technique was, there was more to it than just punching yourself, but do you think it'd work on a face?

>>16743074
Oh yes it would, but you have to hit yourself a lot. And I mean a lot. It will hurt after that, some cuts on your inner lips, bruises and itching on your eyes. To look real, it has to be real, otherwise you could just make some small injuries and then add coloring.

>>16743078
I gotta see how that works. Having a few tiny snags with a razor in the middle of a bruise goes a long way, especially if it looks half-healed.

>>16743089
I want to see how that turns out, post pics please.

So what's the point of all this?

You don't really need to punch yourself a lot to get noticeable bruises. I've done what you're doing many times, OP, so take some advice
>alcohol
if you get drunk enough, number one, you'll have some degree of a hangover the next day, and plus, while you're drunk there's tons of things to do
>punch self in face
Works better when already drunk. If you wear glasses take them off, maybe place some ice over your knuckles for a while, and then get at it. It's better to give two or three really strong punches than a dozen mild ones. Generally the area circumscribed by the lower parts of your eye and your nose work great. The mouth is likely to hurt too much without leaving visible damage, and nose or eyes could end up way too nasty. The sweet spot is somewhere around the cheekbones, but close to the eye. If you've been drinking and are new to this, plainly aim for the cheekbone, else you might his something weaker and give yourself more damage than expected. Finish with a punch in the corner of the mouth but not as strong.
>hammer self in face
If you're committed, it works better than a punch and can be more precise. Do it in front of a mirror, practice the motion a couple times, and works perfect in the spots I described before. Swing as strong as you can without losing precision (not as strong as you may think) and you're probably golden.
>try to break bottle with arm
That's it. Try to break a bottle, and the only rule is you can't use your hands or fingers, only your arms, and preferrably lower arms. You can wrap your arm in a towel, or whatever, and you can't throw it or have it fall down. It takes a considerable amount of force to break a bottle and all the trying and the clumsiness from not being able to use hands will bruise you.
>take some dives
run against a bench in the park and dramatically fall over, stuff like that
>cutter to the eyebrow
doesn't hurt a lot, and even relatively shallow cuts will bleed quite a bit. Plus, the eyebrows themselves cover up cont.

>>16743289
the eybrows themselves cover up the fact that it's a fine, planned cut and it looks rogue or whatever. Also causes some swelling around the area which would be far more dangerous to obtain with punches
>keep drinking and attempt to exercise
Stuff like pullups, pushups and the like. You'll see.
And that's my advice to you opie

>>16743289
You could fucking die.

>>16743005
If you're committed shave some random ass chunks of hair off

>>16743289
Thank you. I really hadn't thought of combining alcohol with that. Though bruising arms/etc won't be necessary, it's winter so the only places of me visible will be hands and face.

>>16743362
Kris i love you