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Why a guy interested in a girl but never...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Hey /adv
Like the title, why don't they make any moves? Despite of knowing the girl liked them back?
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because taking a step where you can't backtrack is a hard thing to do and takes balls
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>>16742053
Sometimes being friends with a girl u like feels better then being with them. I mean they can fuck who ever i don't really care
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>>16742053
I never made any moves on the girl I desire for two reasons:

1. Fear of losing her. If she doesn't reciprocate then our friendship will falter. Not having her in my life at all would be devastating. I can handle not having a wonderful life because we're together. I am reasonably sure that she doesn't see me as a romantic prospect and never will. Confirming or disproving this would be too dangerous. I'm risk-averse.

2. My wife wouldn't like it.
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idk, thats pretty beta if he DOES know u like him back
just move on
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Honestly, most guys in this position lack the courage to make a move, or they believe they don't deserve a gf because of their low self-esteem.

I know this because I was in this position before.
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>>16742070
>>16742057
>>16742062
>>16742069
It's not too obvious but i think we both know each other feeling. Just don't know why he never made any moves.
Isn't it suxks when you liked something but don't want to fight for it
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>>16742082
But he's pretty talkative. Plus his functions seemed totally fine.
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>>16742053
how would a guy know you're interested for something more than just being friends? he probably thought shits not going anywhere.
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>>16742053

I'm in this situation with a girl currently. My mindset right now is:

1. Not 100% sure the signs I'm getting is she likes me - my insecure mind is saying it could all just be in my head.
2. A friend of hers told me that she wasn't single. Despite this she has never mentioned a boyfriend, and her 'social media' habits and conversations imply she isn't.

I'm looking at it this way:
Ever switched on the shower, then got in, and the water is so cold you regret walking in there? Don't you wish before you did, that the water is hot enough first?

Believe me I want to make the move, but...I also don't think I could handle rejection for the 23rd time in the past 6 months.
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>>16742088
well if he doesnt explicitly knows why dont YOU ask him out?
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>>16742103
Well i think i sent him enough signals to let him know i also interested.
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>>16742136
like what? and if you're so certain why don't you ask him?
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real talk: why the fuck didn't YOU make a move?
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>>16742136
Some guys are shit at reading these signals

I'm one of them
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>>16742107
It could be my case as well. I frequently posted some stuffs on my Facebook that made people think I'm in some relationship with my male friends. But here is the point,his closest guy friend know I'm single. They must gossip about it and he knew I'm available if he is interesting.
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>>16742141
This OP, why does he have to make the move?
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>>16742139
>>16742146
Because I'm too fucking nervous he could says no.
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>>16742139
A thousand times this, expecting the guy to always make the move. This shit ain't easy for guys as you think it is.
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>>16742136
What kind of signals?
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>>16742150
Guys and girls are different, most guys i know don't Gossip(unless he's a little bitch) as well as the topic of whom they like does not come up
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>>16742154
Why not? If you liked somebody would you?
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>>16742157
The same could go for him
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>>16742160
I talked to him,jokingly hit him. We sat close to each other. Teasing etc ...
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>>16742157
if hes the confident type maybe hes just not interested in you and you've been misreading the relationship
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>>16742150
It's entirely possible that while they may gossip about it, his friend hasn't mentioned the single thing at all.
For example; My friend is pressuring me to make a move, yet neither of us have talked about the girl being single as the topic has never come up in direct conversation, the only knowledge of being single is based on deduction of her actions and posts.
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>>16742165
I don't know but who knows for sure. If he's interested he'll knows
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>>16742177
If those are signals then i guess all my female friends are attracted to me
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>>16742181
He's not really confident type either but I supposed he's not too shy
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Speaking solely for me, the answer is cowardice and fear of rejection. I've gradualy gotten over it.
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>>16742177
honestly thats pretty normal. and especially difficult to read if its done jokingly.
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>>16742188
But I thought that's enough no?
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>>16742200
Depends... what kind of tease?
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>>16742184
Guys are not mind readers yo
Seriously
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>>16742167
No because I have a lot of fear of rejection and ruining a friendship
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>>16742188
Same yo, i even do the same back, that's just the kinda friend i am
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>>16742206
About everything. He told people I'm lazy as fuck or messy etc i told others he is smelly or ugly or stupid. Well this kind of tease
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I'll post my story, may be relevant

>meet 8/10 girl
>we went out a couple of times, just coffee and stuff like that
>she's always friendly and laughs at basically everything I say
>like I said, she's a 8/10 and I think that I might even have a chance with her
>then I realize that she's basically the same with every other person she meets
>"friendzone'd, fuck it"
>move to a different city for college
>whenever I come back she'd call me and we'd just chill at various places
>whenever I'd go back to college, she'd text me a lot and asks me when I'd be back quite a lot
>but when I do return we'd just sit and she'd just make small talk
>once we went out drinking and I got so fucking drunk that I just had to go home
>I presumed that she did too
>some time after she tells me that she made out with a guy that night
>kay.jpg
>go back to college city again, texts me every other day asking me when I'd be back so we could go out drinking and shit

The thing is, I just don't get her attachment to me. We do pretty tame stuff and we don't really have stimulating conversations anymore. Is it possible that her life is so boring that she enjoys that shit or am I missing something ?
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>>16742227
Lmao, how old are you ?
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>>16742227
thats way too tame. not really flirting or teasing. plus all that isn't uncommon between friends. the only way for something to happen at this point is for you to ask.
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>>16742136
In most cases when a girl thinks that she is being obvious, the guy is actually clueless about it. How do you even know that he is interested?

>>16742177
All of that could be seen as friendly behaviour. Also, at some point in their lives most guys run into the overly friendly type of a girl who hugs and flirts with everyone. Once guys get rejected by her, a lot of them tend to assume that when someone flirts with them, they're just being friendly.
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>>16742230
Maybe she likes you too. As some points?
>>16742234
I'm 23. But this is how we met each other. We bickering like this from the beginning
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>Like the title, why don't they make any moves? Despite of knowing the girl liked them back?
well if he doesnt explicitly knows why dont YOU ask him out?
>Because I'm too fucking nervous he could says no.

Well OP you had the answer to your own question, you dumb fuck.
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>>16742245
Such wow. I did it all the time and i thought it's that obvious to him >>16742250
He tried to leans on me. Or get close to me. Or point his feet close to me. Or carried my stuffs. Always around me in a group of friends.
Do I really missed reading it as well? Is it just friends?
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>>16742251
How did you meet him? How often do you see him? In what setting?
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>>16742251
>23
Okay, then you should just ask him, so what if he say no?
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>Why a guy interested in a girl but never made any moves?
>Hey /adv
>Like the title, why don't they make any moves? Despite of knowing the girl liked them back?

>>16742157
>Because I'm too fucking nervous he could says no.

WELL THERE'S YOUR FUCKING ANSWER DILLWEED. GROW A PAIR AND ASK HIM YOURSELF IF YOU LIKE HIM SO MUCH.
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>>16742266
I met him via my friend,the closest guy friend of him as I mentioned above. From the beginning he just bickering and teasing me every time he has chance. And i do it too him as well as I don't want it to be awkward.
I only see him when we hang out together with friends. I can't remember exactly how often but since then we still bickering even when texting
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>>16742268
That's what I'm afraid of. The rejection
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>>16742284
Then you need to make an effort to see him, outside of this circle of friends. When you are around him you need to make it obvious you are into him, hang off his arm when you are walking. Talk directly to him and only him, to the point of ignoring all others (as much as the social situation allows without backlash). Instead of just teasing back and forth, make it more flirty. Touch him even when it isn't necessary, brush up against him etc etc. This shit isn't rocket science.
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>>16742292
That's what he's afraid of. The rejection.
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>>16742292
He might be the same, you've got to make the first move
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>>16742301
That's pretty much. All I ever wanted to do but it seems like it's impossible for us to be alone. Since I never tried I'm not so sure
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>>16742292
I'm like you, not so much now tho, the key is acting like nothing really matters. Seriously don't think about it just do it... it works really good (at least for me)
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>>16742302
>>16742309
I'm just wondering why didn't he ever texts me more frequently. We texted back and forth before but now totally stopped
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I don't think you were obvious enough. Guys are usually awful at getting signs.
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>>16742263
>He tried to leans on me. Or get close to me. Or point his feet close to me. Or carried my stuffs. Always around me in a group of friends.
Do I really missed reading it as well? Is it just friends?

Well, the feet thing is kinda weird, but I'm not sure which is stranger, him doing it or you taking note.
Everything else is pretty normal. Do you know many people?

If he wants to say something to you, he'll say it. If you want to say something to him, just tell him. Don't go around waiting on everyone else.
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>>16742330
Why would I know? I don't fucking know the guy
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>>16742136
Why don't you ask him out you dumbfuck. Why is he the one who has to make the first step?
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>>16742330
Have you even made the effort to text him? Conversation needs constant input to flow, if he is doing all the work, he might be frustrated with the lack of spontaneity on your end, it's also a red flag that you aren't interested.
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>>16742321
Then you need to try. You came here for advice, and the resounding advice is to make a move.
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>>16742334
How weird it is? Whatcha mean?
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>>16742364
I did. Once. To asked him about housing. Then we talked for a bit and then I stopped texting him
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>>16742352
I think if I asked him out and he says no then bump,I know the answer
Thread replies: 64
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