What do you do when you are in love with someone who hates herself?
My gf is depressed and seems to utterly despise herself.
Also known as being female
I think you should ask more virgins on the internet what to do instead of talk to her about it
I'm really not though. Compared to her.
I have talked to her about it. She says it's quite possible she can sort things out and be happy again, but that it will take time.
After 19 years of marriage to a person suffering from depression (I think it is borderline p d - her Dr says manic depressive but he doesn't live with her - plus she lies to him because of embarrassment, lel) , I can honestly say run for the fucking hills and never look back...
Get the fuck out of the relationship.
Depressed person speaking - GET THE FUCK OUT.
Depressed people are not capable of being productive human beings. We are sick, crippled minds who spend days and days just making ourselves feel comfortable enough to survive the day, instead of doing something for ourselves or our environment. You might care for us, but in the end we are all we can truly care about. We have too much pain in out everyday lives to care about somebody out there.
It's just the way we are. I wish there was a way to fucking change it.....
tripfag, it's not known as being female
there are normal females and depressed females as well, ive met both
I haven't met one female that had a positive self-esteem
Maybe I attract the absolute madwomen
dump her or she will drag you down. BTW, depression isn't real. It's a modern term for being a lazy, pampered and unmotivated failure. Sister got it diagnosed when she realized she was a failure with no degree nor friends and nobody was proud of her. Gf's granma got it when all her family either grew up or died and she had nothing left to do. Trust me, you don't want to deal with that. An essential requisite for getting depressed is being selfish. It just doesn't happen to selfless people. A solid relationship is based on selflessness.
as long as she is willing to help herself (and you can only judge whether she is by her actions NOT her words) then this could work out. if she doesn't help herself on an action-based level, then she's not ready for a relationship
it takes time, so no harm in being patient. at the same time, if 4-6 months go by and she's done nothing but say she wants to help herself, then you know she isn't ready to help herself and therefore you cannot help her either by definition, unfortunately. if that's the case, it's not fair to you or to her to stay in the relationship
I understand anon :( It will be hard for both her and you. You might even regret it for a long time.
As >>16739430 stated it,
>trust me, you don't want to deal with that
It will be much better if you leave her on her own until she gets better, and then MAYBE you try having something worthwhile. Relationship with a depressed person is also boring as fuck, I have to remind you. Most of the time I spent with my ex was simply sitting in some apartment, drinking or smoking weed and listening to music. We went out only when some bands played in the bar...
Let me tell you my story.
I broke up with my 6-month gf who started doing heroin. It fucked me up so bad, I was even worse than before that.
Then, a friend of mine who has had a crush on me for a year wanted to hook up. I was okay with it, and everything was fine, but I was a depressed piece of shit, couldn't really open up to her because of trust issues and basically she ended up breaking up with me. But she came back and decided we could just be friends-with-benefits until I get better. Then I hooked up with a few other girls, because we weren't together basically. I never heard from her again. And yet she hopes that I will get over it someday.
Point is - we depressed people are very often good with words, sweet tongued, we can make you feel special by our devotion and attention. But ultimately, it's all just a cover for our own lack of self-worth, which we then seek in other people, thus idolizing them and making them feel special in the process.
It might be worth it though. If she could get better for real (which means getting a good therapist), she might be one of the most wonderful people you will meet. But then again, she might not.
It's on you to decide.
And PLEASE, PLEASE don't make children until you're both 100% MENTALLY HEALTHY.
If parents are depressed, kids are gonna be even worse.
Been there. (im the kid)
>then she's not ready for a relationship
I'm waiting for her, but I think I pissed her off, she needs space and I can't stop pestering her
Nah you didn't piss her off, she just went swiftly into something that she wasn't ready for.
I did the same thing with the girl who was into me for a year.
I explained it in the second part of >>16739504
when this comes up, you really need to support her in trying to not take on more than she can mentally and emotionally handle. it sounds like you have a decent friend here, one with many problems and that aside, someone meant to be a friend. this is how my last relationship ended, despite moving into engagement and living together. it really is sad, but for the best anon. you can help someone take a step up, but if you're trying to help them take many steps then by the time they reach your level you've climbed nearly as many ahead as you were in the first place. and it's not fair to you or herself to do this your whole lives
Nah this isn't where I pissed her off, she's been getting colder and colder the past couple days, that was the initial message, it's gone on past that. Definitely because I've kept pestering her.
But yeah, I think second guy is right I guess we'll have to be friends, it's over. She was saying how it wouldn't be fair to me too.
it's something you just have to confront now and you'll be okay. you just don't want to kid yourself and think you can make it work when you both know to whatever extent it wasn't meant to be, as it will only delay the healing process
Stop being a faggot dude.
here's the PROPER response to her first big long wall of text.
>It's ok I'm not hurt
>Good luck with your life
>I wish you the best things in life, in sickness and in good health
THEN JUST IGNORE HER YOU MORON
ACT LIKE AN ADULT
GIVE HER YOUR BEST WISHES THEN DONT EVER TALK TO HER AGAIN
IT IS NOT HARD