I recently realized i am strongly in love with one of my closest friends. The problem is she claims to be aromantic and asexual and i know her long enough to know it's true. However i heard asexual/aromantic people often still get into relationships, but their relationships work differently. I have no idea if it's true because she never was in a relationship. Are there any AS/AR people who could tell me something more about this?
Hi, I'm a guy who used to be in your position. Ultimately it didn't work out that way for us (I got butthurt and insecure at not feeling reciprocated attraction and moved on, though we're still best friends).
No, it isn't impossible. She could want someone to have a deeper relationship with, even if it isn't born of physical attraction.
Have you ever talked to her about relationships? Do you know of its something she'd want?
And bigger question, do you know if it's something she'd want WITH YOU? Because, as I learned, normal rules of relationships still basically apply even if a traditional physical courtship and relationship is off the table. You could very well be in the friend zone.
I talked to her about relationships. She seems to avoid this topic, sometimes mentioning how everyone thinks she's gonna get married and have children at some point, but she just haven't met the right guy.
To be quite honest, it's hard to tell. She sure allows me to get close to her more than anyone else, this including hugging and sleeping together, while she is really obsessive about her personal space. We are very close as friends, and i kinda feel like she has some kind of deeper feelings for me, but i can't say for sure.
Ha. That's...very familiar.
If she says she hasn't met the right guy, it means she's open to it. All the doubt in the world cant change that fact.
Honestly, and I mean really honestly, if you guys are close friends, you should be honest with her and tell her how you feel. Get her opinion. Even if it doesn't work out in your preferred way, you guys can talk about it, and your friend will help as much as she can. I mean, that's how you got this far, right? Communication, and trust?
Just don't keep secrets, don't lie about your intentions, and don't back down out of fear. You guys can survive a potentially awkward relationship confession. It''s the doubts and fear that get you.
She doesn't say it. It's what everyone tells to her making her sick whenever someone mentions romantic relationship.
Aside from that, this is very specific kind of frendship, based pretty much on a rivalry. I have no idea how would she react if i confessed to her tbqh.
I'm probably gonna seriously consider confessing if the affection doesn't go away in next few months. I need to be careful with this since i am bipolar and this could be as well just a random swing.
They're fucked in the head and give you all types of BS. They are a lot like us non-normies, but they are really waiting for you to assume the masculine role.
Oh, if they are feeling you, it's obvious no matter what they say, since they will never say it IRL, and this shit is literally an internet disease. It's feminine and a new form of playing hard to get.
Oh, right. Sorry, I misread your post.
I think you're on the right track. A few months is a bit long to leave something like that bottled up (imo), but waiting a little while to make sure it's real and not a passing thing would probably be good. I don't know how your specific friendship/rivalry works, but there's no harm that'll come from simply communicating with the person you care about.
Aromantic/asexual aren't real. they're defects. These stupid tumblrisms are just leftist academia trying to over explain things to justify degenerate behavior. The reality is this:
Aromantic means she's basically a slut/pychopath. She doesn't care about whether or not her sexual partners have feelings for her, and so is defective.
Asexual is worse, considering that reproduction/sex is a biological mechanism, not having sexual urges/thoughts is an actual defect.
She's justifying impersonal behaviors that are not functional in society and are degenerate. Leave her be.
I was in a relationship with an asexual girl. It was an unusual relationship indeed, as she liked to refer to herself as male, so she was kinda like my gay boyfriend.
However she was pretty cool with me having sex with other people as long as I tell her about it, so it worked out.
We're pretty much still together, although we only talk online since she lives in a different town now.
So, it's possible. Simply talk with her.
Why, I am curious?
This might be true that asexuality is a mental issue, however when this comes to her, it could be also a justified phobia of some kind. She was raised in traditional family where she was always forced to be girly, and the fact she literally HAS TO get married and have children at some point was pushed into her for a pretty long time, making her more, and more anxious about it. I'm pretty much aware this is not exactly "normal", but if she is happy this way I'm not going to force her to change it.
1. Sounds like an advanced version of letting you down easy by saying she is asexual (normally it's lesbian) without hurting your feelings
2. Or it could be she is actually a lesbian and you are her 'fag hag'.
I know her for 12 years and i'm sure she isn't just saying it to "let me down easy". She never was in a relationship since i met her, and never was interested by neither her, nor opposite gender.
Dubs of truth
Trust me, she is the kind of person who would tell me if she was in a relationship. She claimed to be asexual ever since we met, so it's not something she made up recently either.
What if it was a lesbian relationship? I mean, her parents sound real traditional and a lesbian daughter sounds like it would kill them.
But I'm just spewing out ideas here anyway.
Unless she can split into to 2 smaller versions of herself she is not asexual (or has some sort of mental or physical trauma, or illness.)
But you know, her beliefs are her beliefs.
No, i'm not. It's not her.
She would tell me though. She often tells me things that would make her parents disown her if they knew. So i don't think she would try hiding it from me.
Why are you replying to bait?
>She would tell me though. She often tells me things that would make her parents disown her if they knew. So i don't think she would try hiding it from me.
You can either keep pining after her or just go about your day. You're at a dead end anyway, if her claims are true and if she does tell you everything.