What does it mean when a girl who you know has been with a lot of guys says she wants to take it slow and when you tried to make a move into her pants she said no
This girl likes me a lot and is coming over again tomorrow. What do. I'm not friend zoned because we made out and grope each other but I don't get it. Why has she fucked guys she met the same day but won't fuck me until later when she's known me for over two weeks and wants to be in a relationship with me?
Shes probably experiencing some social blow back, ie people have called her a whore and shes self conscious, or, she is waiting for a former fuck to commit to her and stringing you along mate.
Just be dominant, but not rapey.
I don't want to be pushey because I like her back. She told me she stopped talking to a guy a couple months back because he was too pushy about sex. They only went on one date though. She's really hot and has a personality I like. She always openly talks about sex with me and her friends though. I don't think she cares. She literally doesn't talk to any other guys daily except me. I know this for an almost fact. She tells me about every guy that tries though.
It means she wants to take it slow.
The biggest mistake you can make in this situation is overthinking it.
She obviously sees you differently. Whether that's due to outside influences, her own perception of herself and her relationship to others, or her view of you, remains to be seen.
For now, I wouldn't let it bug you, unless you don't really have feelings for this girl.
My personal take is that she's rethinking how she wants to treat sex. Just because she's slept with other guys the same day doesn't mean she always wants to, or will always be, doing that for every guy she gets involved with.
The fact that you guys have the relationship you have means she's interested, obviously, but I wouldn't let it get in the way of anything if you want to continue being in some kind of a relationship with her.
I would say talk to her about it, because that's usually the solution to most relationship problems, but asking her
>why won't you sleep with me it's been 2 weeks and you've fucked other guys the day you've met 'em
seems a little tasteless.
Just my take.
well if she had made a big transition in life such as leaving for college, finishing college, moved to a new city, got a new job, or whatever then maybe she's testing out not being a slut.
>but won't fuck me until later when she's known me for over two weeks and wants to be in a relationship with me?
well, a one night stand and a relationship are different things entirely. there are completely different criteria when you're looking for a one night stand and an SO. maybe she is really into you and feels like sex would cheapen things if you move too fast. maybe she has a shitty reputation at school and wants to check out the grass on the other side of the fence.
do you even want a relationship with this girl or you just want to fuck? if you wanted a relationship i would imagine you'd respect her wishes on this.
Damn anon that's good shit right there man. It's bothering me but not in a bad way you know? I'm a guy, of course I want sex. I just don't see why it's such a big deal. I feel as if she is taking things slow just because.
If this continues on, what do I say? I respect her and her wishes but everyone has limits you know.
she shut you down when you tried to make a move. she told you that she stopped talking to a guy that was pushy about sex.
sounds like she's told you a lot already.
>If this continues on, what do I say? I respect her and her wishes but everyone has limits you know.
you tell her how you feel. it's called honest communication.
and limits? bruh its been less than 3 weeks. go jerk off and calm the fuck down if you actually respect her.
How can I say what I feel without coming off like a douchebag?
Also, how much time is more than enough for 'taking things slow'?
I just don't get it man. I really don't. She won't sleep with me, a guy who she claims she trusts, likes and wants to be a relationship with but she's fucked random guys she met the same day before. Is it wrong of me to think that's disrespectful that she's puts out more for ransoms than me?
bruh, you do sound like a douchebag. so there's no way of getting around that. it doesn't matter how much you sugarcoat this because you're essentially whining to her that "you were a slut for them. why can't you be a slut for me too?" it's like you feel entitled to her pussy cause she has given it up easy to other guys.
she slept around a lot. she's trying to take it slow with you. it's not a difficult concept. she didn't enjoy/like what she was doing and jumped to the other side of the fence to see how it is.
it's not disrespectful. it's a choice she has made not to have sex with you. it has nothing to do with respect. where do you get that idea?
i'll say again, if you respect her then you'll accept that she wants to take it slow. if you're just looking to fuck then she isn't interested apparently so move the fuck on. it sounds like you just view her as a sex object with how much you're complaining.
Almost all the time that women fuck random guys, it's because they have low self-esteem.
Sex for her might be very complicated, maybe abuse there. But if you care for her, take it slow; the patience will pay off. If she never wants to have sex with you, that's a problem; but to me this sounds like she might care for you, and doesn't want to "ruin it" with sex like she has done 100 times before.
All of the stuff said ITT is pretty spot on. I'm not gonna be pushy. What's the difference between never wanting to have sex and taking it slow? How do I know she still is in the process or taking it slow? 1 month? 2 months?
you've said ransoms twice. you mean randoms, right?
apparently sex in a relationship or sex in general is a big deal to her now.
i've been repeating myself for like an hour. she wants to take it slow. if you push her, she will leave. she has told you that already. so either accept it, push her and test her, or leave.
Stop coming to /adv/. This is not a place for people who want others to agree with their selfishness (anger, bigotry, misogynistic views, etc.). If you can't take advice or are just too young or stupid to understand what good advice is. Just come back when you are less of an idiot/douche. (Btw you didn't really deserve much of that I'm venting some frustration about the board in general)
Depends on her reaction. If you see progression, that's a good sign. Like 1st base, 2nd base.
A month can be a long time, but it's about how frequently you guys see each other.
If you come on to her and she pushes you away angrily, ask her what's up.
If she never wants to have sex with you, there might be some abuse/rape there.
Talk to her about it, don't say "I want to fuck you what's up", say "I love how our relationship is going, I feel close to you and want us to be intimate together." See the difference?
How many times do you think? We've seen each other 3 times but talk all the time. Once she came over to my house for a couple hours. I got stuck at 2nd base. She lives on the other side of town and is busy with school and softball which is why we don't see each other often.
I've met girls like this before. Basically, the logic is that with randoms, there's nothing at stake emotionally. She can fulfill her urges without worrying about whether the guy respects her, or if he's gonna think she's a slut, or being judged, or anything like that. Because if she doesn't want to, she never has to see the guy again. She doesn't care what he thinks.
With you, she's got a relationship with a guy that actually listens to her, respects her, takes an interest in her for non-sexual reasons. And she's worried that if she sleeps with you, it's going to change your attitude towards her.
Even if she says the opposite, she's basically got the attitude that sex is dirty and shameful, it will pollute her "good" relationships, and it's something better handled without emotional attachment. She's probably been treated badly in the past, either some form of abuse, or a guy that led her on and broke her heart, something like this.
I don't really know what you can do about it. There's nothing, really. It could be that nothing I said above applies, she just isn't attracted to you, and she doesn't have the courage to say it. Either way, she doesn't want to have sex with you right now. That's the answer you're getting. Maybe you should move on.
Hopefully she doesn't fuck OP because he sounds like a gigantic entitled douche.
She stopped fucking randoms because she wants to have a relationship that is based on trust and respect, not just the pursuit of sex. She wants to know if you just want sex or if you are willing to wait until she feels comfortable and if a relationship is really that important to you.
Jesus Christ OP its not that fucking hard to understand. She can fuck strangers without caring because she will never talk to them again and if they used her for sex its fine because she used them too. With a relationship interest its WAY different because it actually matters whether you care about her or not.
This is not a hard concept and should in fact be common sense.
It's about progression. Depends on the place and mood. I mean you guys aren't going to fuck in a movie theater.
You will want to have sex with her, make some moves; women find it erotic when men are the aggressor. After a while, you'll figure out what she wants.
There is nothing wrong with you feeling jarred that she is willing to have sex with random men she just met but not you.Truth be told it gets at something pretty vital about the way she sees you as a partner and it is disrespectful.
Those other guys were exciting and made her feel sexually aroused and lose her inhibitions because they were dangerous, assertive, had a powerful personality, etc. You on the other hand are the "safe" guy, you aren't particularity sexy to her, you don't excite her, and she has you as emotional support with some sex to come if you've shown yourself to be a decent enough lap dog.
You can either accept this lesser role or leave. Unlike those guys she will "love" you, if you think that it is worth it being with a girl who likes you for emotional support and "personality" ( how you flatter their ego mostly) rather than inciting genuine passion in her then go for it, you will get laid pretty soon and you can have a comfy relationship assuming you play to her tune and a guy who she sees as more vital doesn't come in and seduce her some night.
Yeah, she's doing a really great job isn't she.
Just drop her OP or fuck other woman on the side. She obviously doesn't desire you or respect you enough to fuck randoms after a day but not you in 3 weeks.
I could understand if a girl is still inexperienced and made a few mistakes, but she is a full blown slut. She can't play that card anymore.
She actually cares about you.
One of the nicest compliments I ever received was from a drunk girl hitting on everything that moved.
She groped her female friend very openly. She hit on our gay friend (what would it take, shit like that)
You know what she said to me? She said I'm so nice she wouldn't fuck me on our first date.
your wife has had other men's cum on her lips. she has been fucked and has sucked other dicks before you (hell, maybe even after you). she enjoyed sex with them.
do you have less respect for her?
This is what all these slutty white girls, and the weak men that eventually marry them, never want to admit - the world is actually quite full of women who don't share their values, that actually practice restraint and monogamy and family values. Even right here in America, I've known many girls who never really have a one-night stand or go through a "phase" of impulsive sex. They tend to get into very serious relationships when they're still young, and they tend to marry those guys and start a family while still young. In other words, they're actually living according to human nature instead of actively fighting and repressing their instincts.
It's actually a pretty small piece of the population that indulges in this "sexually liberated" mindset, and for the most part, they seem quite unhappy. The advent of mainstream birth control has basically thrown the social order out of whack on a deeper level than anyone seems to realize yet. We've basically tried to invent whole new attitudes and contexts for sexuality, but I don't think our biological impulses and emotional framework have evolved to match our technology in this respect.
Look, chances are she's just using you. Shes going over some Chad's house for 30minutes to get fucked then heading over your place just for emotional shit.
There's a number of reasons why she could be doing this here are just a few:
She doesn't want the emotional connection to be ruined by sex
She doesn't think you can handle it. Obsessive etc
I'd sit her down and actually talk to here about this or your just going to get hurt
>She said I'm so nice she wouldn't fuck me on our first date.
I never really understood that logic. If a guy is going to have an issue with her sexual history and already knows about it, what does postponing sex actually achieve?
I can't imagine it doing anything other than creating a feeling along the lines of "prude for me, easy for everyone else".
I think you are misunderstanding the reason she would postpone it.
It isn't about what the dude thinks, it's about what she thinks. Sex usually isn't special, but if the guy is the sex should be to.
I mean, that's the impression I got, anyway.
>Listen to her words
Fuck off you dumb cunt.
He shouldn't date any girl who fucking behaves like a slut, yet is a total prude towards him.
She's actually saying to him "you're not sexy, and you're a nice guy".
He's going to get cucked because of your shitty advice.
>What does it mean when a girl who you know has been with a lot of guys says she wants to take it slow and when you tried to make a move into her pants she said no
It means that she holds you in lower regard than all the other guys. It isn't going to change; if you marry her then it's going to be a dead bedroom. Chad will still be able to get her panties off in ten seconds tops.
Yo this bitch is disrespecting you bro don't take it just tell her honestly
" your a hoe for them but not me? that's cool Im going to find myself another person to have some fun with latter"
That honest right there.
If a girl like you honestly they go the extra step and will fuck or give hints they want dick.
This lady is already fridged with you cause of some other dudes. That's not your problem your bring your offer and she's trying to short you.
Why deal with such a shit off-road where there's more out there,
Remember a hoe is a hoe is a hoe.
"She's known me for two weeks"
Bruh someone you've known for two weeks is a fucking stranger.
If she didn't fuck you and drop you immediately, and you claim she likes you, then she probably wants to actually get to know you as a person and maybe pursue a relationship rather than have a one night stand. Contrary to what the "alphas" on this site will tell you, not every girl wants to suck a guys dick the same day she meets him. Most want to at least get acquainted with you before they fuck you, assuming you're not in a "3am-at-the-bar" type situation.
Dude you all but spelled it out in your own post how do you not get this?
Idk what the fuck some of you are smoking but when I really like a guy, I don't fuck him right away. However, my history is a mystery to everyone but me and a select few people. Mostly ltrs anyway.
It doesn't mean I won't eventually fuck him. It means I want to get to know him first. Sex changes things. Once I feel comfortable and like I know him a bit better, I'll be more willing to sex him up. Just moves faster with some people than others.
I'd date a prude if she were a prude for everyone. If she's just a prude for me then it would make me feel like I'm selling myself short. If she's a born-again prude who used to be a slut, then I'd completely expect her to continue being a slut just not for me. I find that to be depressing to even think about.
yeah that sounds pretty beta in my mind
you should've asked her when you could pick her up for that first date
or if she's ugly, you should've said you're not gettin a date from me
As a girl who behaves just like how OP has described, it is because she actually likes you and doesn't want you to leave quickly after getting a fuck, and wants to take the time to know you.
Sometimes I had one night stands in the past and I would never call them again. If I liked someone I wouldn't let them fuck me for quite a while because I wanted to maintain the relationship.
Just because of a person's past, doesn't mean they have an obligation to let you fuck them quickly btw.
>What does it mean when a girl who you know has been with a lot of guys says she wants to take it slow
>I won't stop fucking random stranger just yet so let me get over my wild phase (that could last a handful of years more) before we are actually together
OP she's into you and wants you to stick around and gain some respect for her rather than just letting you fuck her and then having you bail.
Just because she used to have one night stands doesn't mean that you get an express pass to her pussy. Those were flings, now she wants a real relationship, those are different things.
Get into the relationship with her and she'll slut it up for you all the time, but don't expect her to just throw it at you just because she's had meaningless hookups before.
>Get into the relationship with her and she'll slut it up for you all the time
You fools actually believe this.
That guy lacks the qualities she finds sexually attractive, he just seems more stable.
Her desire will turn to the men who would make her want to fuck them on the first night.
>girl really likes you
>I'll show this by withholding sex
Women are fucking stupid. Don't give me that shit about trying to earn respect either, the deed has already been done, there is no use in pretending to be a good girl this time around when you've been the town bicycle already.
Do you really want this OP? do you want a girl who's allowed random men to wear her throat like a condom just from one night of knowing her yet only lets you kiss the lips that she wrapped around those very cocks?
She finds me hot. She's said this before. She admitted to liking me. A lot. She has an Instagram with thousands of followers and she posted a pic of me and her as her main. She's confident in my looks, I don't think it's that.
I asked her a while ago why take things slow and she said "because I want a relationship". I don't know what she's trying to prove by holding back sex. Probably purposely playing hard to get to not seem 'easy'?
>I asked her a while ago why take things slow and she said "because I want a relationship". I don't know what she's trying to prove by holding back sex. Probably purposely playing hard to get to not seem 'easy'?
nigga, people have been repeating the same thing over and over. she views sex differently when it comes to a relationship yet you're still fucking confused. are you retarded?
Don't be a fucking cuck, it's one thing if she's a virgin or maybe been in one long relationship but it's bullshit if she's willing to be a whore for everyone but you. I'd literally tell her to fuck off if she pulled that shit on me.
Okay this is her logic:
I've fucked around before but those didn't mean anything. That was just sex. I really like this guy and I don't want him to think I'm easy, I want him to like me. Early sex could lead to him hitting and quitting like everyone else.
It's pretty dumb but that's how women think