Turning 23 in less than a week. Haven't had a GF relationship yet. I'm beginning to worry. Anyone in the same boat?
I repel giving up. But still, all my efforts lead to nothing. I'm just too much of a social retard.
Maybe if we... I dont know... Figured out who we ourselves are and what we wanted to be, we would find a SO who can appreciate what we are?
I dont know. Made sense while it was still inside my skull.
Same age, actually. No gf, either. Crushed real hard on this freshman when I was in high school, and other than that there were two girls I liked in college. One was out of my league (more educated than me) and the other got back together with her ex and just sat there smooching him while "teaching me how to play MTG". I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. It's not fun, but I've surrendered myself to patience.
I am still a 20 year old bab but I also haven't had a relationship. At any rate i'm not bothered by that though, I'm bothered by not having any friends or interests in general. Anything I actively do for entertainment is just a distraction from all the things I hate about myself and about life.
Iunno, does this mean i'm in the same boat? I do want a meaningful relationship with someone but I don't think it's right to try and get a relationship for the sake of getting a relationship, rather then actually bonding with another human being.
Don't worry, once you have an 80 hour a week career there will be endless swarms of post-wall women wanting you to marry them.
turning 21 soon, very few friends and last girl in sight drifted off, I try not to loose hope though
sometimes I'm doing better, but mostly I'm hanging out with other misfits, which doesn't help
18 year old with no friends or gf, how do I not fuck up in college?
Don't worry. I felt the same way. Never had a GF in highschool or college. After that I lived at home and figured it wasn't worth trying til I moved out.
I stayed at home longer than I planned.
But I just went on my first date. At 30. It's never too late. You just have to be willing to ask, get rejected, and cut communication instead of dwelling on it. If they don't want you that's ok, that's their own shit. It doesn't mean you suck.
They're people from uni, so I meet them every day. Problem is they run home as soon as classes end, and are even more socially awkward as me so no way to party with them and no people to meet through them.
I actually tend to avoid talking to my few other acquaintances while I'm with them because they tend to weird people out.
So I'm afraid to end up completely alone one day since I manage to stagnate at uni...
Study, i'm not saying go at it full force but just study every day for at least an hour (2 if not working).
I'm currently 20 and in college, i have an exam tomorrow and i haven't the studied at all. fuck me i'm probably not even going to bother going to it. I see my friends once a week and that's more or less it, at least i'm decently sociable.
But consider the follow, it's an army/airforce college, people go there to postpone mandatory service for two years and work. And i got passing grades so i give no shits.
As far as meeting girls, i think i only started it at 19 or so seriously (Lost virginity at 16 though, so i got that going for me), no gf either.
This is speculation and I haven't lived anything like that, but it might be worth trying to hang out with them after classes if it doesn't bother them to much, assuming you have common interests. I've given up on college for the time being so I don't really know how you feel, but I know I completely regret losing contact with the few friends I had in school, and even if you can't meet other people it's better to stay in contact with people like that or you might wind up completely alone like you said. The alone part is what i feel like i'm living through now, I sometimes go up to a week or more without uttering a word to another person and it's really terrifying to me.
So even if they're misfits you and your friends might have a chance to help each other out. But this isn't really advice for finding a girlfriend, just getting more comfortable with people in general I think would help that.
It's all about how you start, the very first days, groups form in the beginning and you want to be in one with social people, even if you're not too comfortable with them, because you mostly won't. If you have nobody to party with in college, you're done. Even if you hate parties. That's where friends and girls happen. Never turn down a party because you don't feel like it.
And casually interact with people you met at aforementioned parties.
Basically : parties.
That's exactly what I do, right now I think we manage to do something once a week (we're mostly a group of 4). We don't have that much in common though and I feel like I could connect with so many people once past the first barrier, it's frustrating.
I don't know if I'm well suited for such advice, but lately I've gotten closer to some acquaintances by opening up about my life, my interests, instead of just asking them how the've been. Turns out it gets them to talk a lot more. I'll try to ask some of them to hang out some time, but for some reason I'm scared of these kind of things.
Nearing 23 in less than a week too. Same boat, and I'm doing a lot better than 'sitting on 4chan'. Still can't keep anything.
Making friends isn't hard. Being flirty isn't hard. A bit of banter gets you anywhere. But the moment I take one step further, rejection hits me. "Friends" start dodging me. Girls I'm interested in start ignoring me.
It's not even the fact that I'm 23 or gf-less that gets to me. It's the endless rejection I face that does me in.
I get out there. I connect with a lot of people who genuinely interest me amicably or romantically. I lead a life worth living, and some people actually told me they look up to it. But no matter what plans I make, no matter what kind of person I meet, my days always end up alone. Girls see me as a friend, friends never bother being friends and dismiss my attempts to, and all that remains of contact is the memory or the experience or whatever. Consolation prize bullshit.
Reconnect with them? Yeah, the only thing I learned out of that was 70 different ways to say "k" or "sorry I'm busy"
So you can try hard, or don't try at all. It won't change the fact that sooner or later you'll end right back on your advice board, yelling at autistic frogposters and >tfwnogf-wojaks to man the fuck up already. Like it did you any good.
Best advice I've gotten so far : something you are interested in doing. Like if you haven't been bowling in a while, or would like to try billiard, or ice skating, or hiking, whatever. If you have fun there's chances she will too.
It's mostly about having fun together while getting to know each other, and getting comfortable with each other.
I play guitar, make music, and play vidya (eu4 and blade & soul mainly) when im not working. Game of thrones is pretty much only thing I watch.
I wish I had real friends mostly desu.
A real friend is a hard thing to find. The only one I have is hundreds of miles away now and it feels like i'll never connect like this with anyone else.
Then you try again, because that's the only way to succeed.
Introducing them to your hobbies is a harder way to go imo. Stick to something everyone does once in a while, the "going out" kind of thing. Neutral ground where you'll both be equally (un)comfortable.
Which is equivalent to googling "date ideas" and picking the one you feel most at ease with.
I wouldn't know about getting past barriers. The only communication I understand is with family or online, I don't even know how to meet new people. I guess my best option would be getting back into a college program that I tried a year ago, but I don't have the money for it and I'm too NEET for financial assistance, so now i'm trying to get a job that offers tuition assistance, I've even got an interview tonight, but I've been having some kind of panic attack with shakiness and weeping included, I don't know that I can hold it together at the interview.
Pretty much that. That consolation prize bullshit is something, at least. The endless rejection is almost physically painful and doesn't lessen like they say it does, but you see a lot more of the world than your average NEET.
Please do though, sounds like it could help a lot
A trick I learned for building a bit of short term courage/confidence : take a really confident position, sit with your legs wide open, straight back, a position that uses as much space as possible. When I can't muster the courage for an important call I stand up in my room, arms up, arms and legs apart. Like a starfish. Sounds dumb as hell but it helps.
Quite frankly i've had the same issue or similar issue as you while growing up. Super shy as a teenager.
I learned how to talk with people by just going around store and trying to strike a conversation with either salesmen (Who knows how to talk to people in most cases) or some of the people around. Just random conversations on random subjects, and trust me i almost sperged out a couple of times. Hell i worked as a salesman for a couple of years ago.
A few things to note:
>Dress like a human being
>Keep your spine straight
>Start the conversation with general topic, or if you joined in continue on that topic
in both cases a non autistic/sperg way
>Avoid topics that do not apply to the general populace
Don't start spewing shit about anime or gaming
And >>16734174 said you gotta take it step by step.
I think i miscommunicated or misunderstood here.
My priority is not having a girlfriend, it's making friends and being able to talk or even just connect with people. I thought "going out" didn't exclusively mean going on a date with people, I thought it just meant going somewhere to do something that isn't mundane, like school/work/shopping/etc.
Oh god I'm 20, never had a GF and I can literaly feel the possibilities slipping away and I feel like it becomes harder every year. I don't even meet any girls when I'm at parties with my friends because they all have GF's, I'm literally the only fuck up out of all of them.
>have a diagnosed brain thing where I cant speak fluently at all
>can think normally and am apparently smart, but I just cant talk
>realized pretty early that my chances of reproduction, let alone meaningful human contact, are nil
Sometimes you lose before you even start playing, OP
I'm no gf and turning 23 in 2 weeks, too.
Never bothered pursuing a relantionship or sex, tho.Don't know if that's the case with you guys.
I guess i just need to play "the game" and chase a girl,ooor continue browsing 4chin. Tough choice...