So i really like this guy. We haven't met yet because i'm really shy. So we text a lot. There are times when he can be really sweet. Then other times he would make sex jokes or whatnot which can make the convo awkward. we have only been talking for about a month or two. Today he wanted to invite me to his house to watch a movie in his room. I wasn't comfortable with the idea and explained why and he understood. He was sad saying that he needs me. I asked why and he said he needed me because i'm sweet, nice and loving and he needs that very much. So my question is, how do i know that he is being honest? I mean he says that and it's nice, but then he makes these sex jokes and it kind of scares me because i really like him and i don't want this to be a huge disappointment by it just being a "sex only" thing. I'm just confused.
> He was sad saying that he needs me. I asked why and he said he needed me because i'm sweet, nice and loving and he needs that very much.
>he would make sex jokes or whatnot which can make the convo awkward. we have only been talking for about a month or two.
This guy is trying to manipulate you into progressing the relationship further than you're comfortable with at the moment.
Don't go over to his place. Set boundaries. If he's being explicit and you're not comfortable with it, let his jokes bomb and he should stop.
Nice as he seems, this is red flag city OP. Please don't fall for it.
Source: 28 year old male who remembers adolescence
He's pulling a classic "nice guy" routine. You seem like a nice person, so don't be taken in by his mindgames.
>Hey OP, I wanna fuck you hard lol
>Hey wanna come over to my place and watch a movie alone in my room?
>No? Oh, I'm sad now. This makes me sad. It's just that I like you so much and you're so sweet and loving, and that means something because I've talked to you a WHOLE month
Nah. Fucking dirtbag OP. Drop him.
dammit guys i really like him. this really sucks. it's odd too because he says that whatever i want he will do it for me and he will always protect me. sigh i'm such a fool.
You sound like one of these 'shy' problematic girls.
He invited you for proverbial netflix amd chill, ergo he wants to fuck you (amd then most likely tell you to fuck off). Grow up and stop being naive, no guy says he needs a girl because she's sweet, for fucks sake
Honestly as much as everyone hates on the '"friendzone", every chick I've dated has started out as a friend that turned into something romantic. He sounds somewhat desperate if he's trying to push you into sex and making sexual jokes, in my opinion. Some chicks like sex jokes, but you don't and that's fine. Communication is key however and he can't read your mind so like everybody else said just say you're not comfortable and keep going or not, your choice.
You're not a fool, you just haven't been ruined by the world yet. Folks here are just trying to help you avoid it while still learning the lesson.
Offering to do anything you want is the lazy guy's desperate plea.
>Name the chores I can perform to expedite the process of you being prepared to fuck me.
They aren't even trying anymore.
Protip: he won't because he doesn't need to. If OP doen't want to get fucked over by some douche, she shold think more clearly and not romanticise some horny dude who is trynna to play her
>m-maybe he's trying to fill the void?
I s2g you deserve everything whats coming for you, OP
it's just odd. maybe he is testing me out. but every time he wants to see me it's his house or mine. No date because he is usually in the mood to watch a movie in his room while and i quote "have my head on your legs while you caress my hair". Maybe he is tired, but that is what he is usually what he is in the mood for.
Jesus fuck OP. How 14 are you?
Everybody has told you the absolute truth of the situation based on what you've said, independently coming to the same conclusion, and you're still shopping around for any amount of hope.
Why are you apologising for this guy? A month is too short for an investment fallacy.
Are you just sticking around waiting for an answer you wanted to hear? Cool, here it comes.
You should talk to him about his feelings. I think maybe he's just hurt and has trouble expressing himself. He's just as nervous as you and probably feels REALLY bad about the sex jokes. Maybe he just needs somebody to watch movies with and open up to, and if it turns into a little just-friends rape, I'm sure there's a perfectly sensitive reason.
>OP hasn't met the guy
>Guy makes sex jokes
>OP does not like
>Guy invites OP over to common sex scenario
>OP wants permission to save this tortured soul
Can we just once have a thread that isn't about teenagers who don't understand their feelings?
My friend set me up with her bfs friend. We all were hanging out together. After a couple days, he started saying things like how sweet I was, and how he felt like I was his soulmate and he didn't know a girl like me existed. Then he started talking about us having sex. I told him I was very uncomfortable with that, considering I barely knew him. I told him maybe a long time in the future we could, but definitely not now or anytime soon.
He was really clingy and didn't want to spend the next couple days without me. I refused to hang out with him alone though. So like three days later (about five after meeting him) we were all hanging out. We were in the middle of a movie and my mom wanted me to come home (I lived with her at the time). So I asked her if I could spend the night at the girls house. (Didn't mention there was boys)
It was partially my fault, because that was a very stupid move on my part. We all eventually fell asleep (All in the same room). I woke up to him on top of me. I panicked and tried to push him off, but I am a rather petite girl. I quietly told him to get off, and he shushed me. I thought about waking the others, but I was mortified what they would think. Obviously now I wish I had, but I wasn't thinking clearly.
I left and walked around outside until morning when her bf could give me a ride home. She asked me about how the sex was. Apparently he had bragged about it.
I just said it was ok. I don't know why I didn't tell her what really happened.
I refused to talk to him after that. I lost her as a friend. She thinks I "broke his heart". Sometimes I'm still afraid I might run into him somewhere. There are a lot of regrets. Things I could have done differently to avoid it, red flags I should have seen. I was dumb. I had to learn the hard way.
OP, im gonna tell you a secret about guys.
no guy gets lonely and "just want a friend to talk to".
I dont care how sweet this guy is, hes trying to guilt you into coming over so he can pull some moves on you. and hes using this "hurr durr but im sad and lonely" shit to try and coerce you into it.
dont be stupid. think. this guys tactics are ridiculously obvious.
I'd say go for it, as long as you're comfortable. Don't let it lead to going to a private place though, until you trust him. Make sure you are very clear about your feelings. If he respects you and you're careful, everything should be fine.
oh for fucks sake, a million nos and one yes and you go with yes.
you just wanted someone else to justify you going to him so that when he inevitably fucks you over you can blame /adv/ and not yourself.
god damn high school bitches.
It did for a while. I became very sexist, I think because of a phrase he used. He said "men have needs". I was afraid of new people and sleeping in a house with anyone besides my parents.
But I got over that. I have been in a relationship for two years now and I love my boyfriend so much. He is very respectful towards me. I think for the most part I've come to terms with what happened with that other guy.
I refuse to believe high school girls are that stupid, c'mon. Op sounds more like an emotionally stunted 12 years old
And of course she goes with the yes, that was the whole point of the thread. I'm kinda disappointed, hoped yes-fag won't jump in just yet
Look she's not gonna just stop seeing him because a bunch of strangers say so. I'm trying to help her be smart about it. None of us know this guy, maybe those aren't his intentions. Maybe he is just clingy. I agree she should be careful though
Yes I've told him. It was really hard for both of us when I did. Honestly, I'm not really sure why I didnt press charges. I guess because it was at least partially my fault. By the time I decided I should, there was no evidence. It would be my word against his. And I know the courts would side with me because I am a female, but my friend and her bf would probably side with him. And I really didn't want to be reminded of it all over again. I decided it was best to just move on and get over it
All signs on earth and sky indicate he's a fucker who at best will hurt only her feelings, at worst rape her. Sure, you have 0.01% of chance he's a good albeit clingy guy but apparently collective experience of people on /adv/ says it's not the case
Op is young, naive and stupid, already clingy towards his guy so you saying she should give him a chance is like honey on her teenage angsty heart
I don't care that much, but it annoys me when someone like you pops in a thread and undermines all logical and helpful advice just to make stupid Op feel better
christ, its like arguing with a brick wall.
have fun getting played like the dumb whore you are
Not a teenager. just inexperienced. also just to clarify i'm not justifying anything. yea there is a part of me that wants to hope because of how i feel. that doesn't mean i'm actually going through with seeing him alone. I don't see the problem with seeing him in public though at least.
Being inexperienced is no excuse for being illogical and stupidly naive. If you live 15+ years on this planet, you have no excuse not to know how the world works. Unless you are fucking sheltered and live in a cave, that is.
I don't know what do you want to gain from the experience with this guy who, as most of us agrees is interested in fucking you, not even spending quality 'cute' time with you, but it looks like you nurse some romantic notions which frankly doesn't look good for you but w/e
I'm done helping retards on vietnamese fishing board, have a nice day you all
>I woke up to him on top of me. I panicked and tried to push him off, but I am a rather petite girl. I quietly told him to get off, and he shushed me. I thought about waking the others, but I was mortified what they would think.
Look, I'm sorry that this happened to you, and it really sucks, but what the fuck? You had sex with this guy that you clearly did not want to because you were afraid of waking the other people in the room? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?
if i were being illogical and naive i would have gone to his house alone but i didn't. >>16728108
>you have no excuse not to know how the world works.
no but not everybody is the same. i still get what you mean though.
>I don't know what do you want to gain from the experience with this guy who, as most of us agrees is interested in fucking you, not even spending quality 'cute' time with you, but it looks like you nurse some romantic notions which frankly doesn't look good for you but w/e
well what i was trying to gain was a descent relationship. but from what i'm getting from his words i see different. However i haven't seen his behavior or actions to really determine if this man is a rapist or a clingy desperate pervert trying to get into my pants. Not saying i wanna push that button.