I'm 26. In general I live a pretty incredible life. I have a flexible job that pays well, I play in 3 reasonably successful touring bands, I get laid plenty, by some pretty attractive women none the less, I have an active social life, and I'm decently fit and healthy. I have a college degree, and try to keep myself mentally stimulated as much as possible. So what could possibly be wrong? And how on earth do I have any right to complain? I keep telling myself that, but there is an emptiness inside me that I can't fill, and its driving me to near suicidal thoughts, I wrestle with it, tell myself to buck the fuck up, and pick up new hobbies all the time.
But really, I want romance. Even with all the ebbs and flows and pain that it can cause, I want to feel in love. almost all of the sexual encounters I've had in the last year have been shallow, and I haven't felt a connection to them. It just seems like fucking for the sake of fucking. If there is a connection, its one sided. I feel like I'm supposed to have someone important in my life now, but they aren't here, and I feel like they never will be. I don't even know what kind of question I'm asking, maybe that's not even why I'm upset, I guess I just needed to vent.
you sound kind of needy for some reason. you don't need anyone but yourself to be happy.
maybe you're stressed, maybe you need more rest, whatever it is it's probably not a big deal as you think. you're just human and it's normal to feel lonely or want to vent.
Yeah, I get that you don't need anyone to be happy. And even if I got what I thought I was looking for I might not even appreciate it. But maybe you're right. Maybe I come off as needy. I am an attention starved musician after all.
A partner will make you feel less lonely, but won't quell the roaring emptiness inside you. There's no formula for feeling less empty, but it helps to feel as though what you do is meaningful. Perhaps there is something for meaningful you can devote your time to beyond amusing yourself in so many ways.
It's also valuable to examine your thoughts during those times you feel empty. Are they rational? Do they really reflect reality?
>you don't need anyone but yourself to be happy.
I have no idea how but this is probably one of the greatest line I have heard (before I have heard it before)
you don't need others to live a happy life, sure it is a luxury but not a necessity.
more people need to realise this
No shit anon, you have to compromise. I left my love life a barren waste and work as a bartender not some cushy 9-5 job so I can pursue my passion for music. I may not succeed but at least I stayed true to myself
I sing and play guitar. Yeah, I guess in a big way, I've really stayed true to my dreams, which is amazing, and a lot of my friends are having kids, and they tell me that they envy me. Weird thing is, I envy them. I really want to have a kid. In fact I have a huge swelling fear that I wont have a kid before I die. Music is extremely fulfilling, but I can tell you from personal experience, it can be really fucking lonely.
Haha, I admit, this is the last place I should come to for advice. But I needed to stay anonymous, and I used to come here when I was a nerdy lonely pimply teenager, who probably was looking for some lonely 4 chan chick. I guess I just came back cause I didn't know where else to turn. I do live that life, but as they say, I guess the grass is always greener. Getting what you want, or what seems to be the dream, can be a curse.
As long as you need someone else to feel fulfilled, the relationship isn't going to work out. It's normal to crave a SO and and a family down the line but until you feel content as a stand-alone person you're going to make a mess of things. Imagine committing to someone and that feeling slowly crawling back or being dependent on that person for feeling satisfied and being miserable whenever you're apart (which is I assume often, in your case), that person getting tired of your clingy-ness.
Maybe you're just experiencing some common fears and self-doubt. If you notice a decrease in appetite, have trouble sleeping and always feel tired you might have a mild form of depression. It can occur for no good reason.
Try a dating site. The girls there are looking for commitment and just dating someone for a while might put things in perspective and make you feel more at ease. Anyway, you're 26 and have a lot of time for settling down, don't worry too much about it.
I don't expect sympathy at all. Which is why I said I really have no right to complain. I just wanted to vent. Regardless of how blessed things seem, having all of the things doesn't exactly equal happiness. I mean, look at people like Robin Williams. You ever wonder if he vented anonymously on a blog before he decided to off himself?
You remind me of the type of person that would tell someone with 6 types of cancer to fuck off because there are people with 7 types of cancer in the world and that they should be happy they only have 6.
Same bro. Same.
Wish I could help you, If I had what you had I know I'd be temporarily stated but yeah, it'd come right back around and I'd want to an hero.
Struggling really hard with it today. I just had to force myself from suicidal depression to deep hatred and anger towards life and myself, the sad thing is it actually does feel a little better but I know that either way I'm gonna kill myself.
I agree with you. I've achieved all I ever desired in life, I have a degree and am making a lot of money. I no longer desire a relationship. I have the time to indulge in all of my hobbies, in anything I want to do really. But I'm not happy.
People think that they're unhappy because of their money problems or some other seemingly perpetual problem they're facing. I used to feel that way. I thought that, if only I could get out of debt, then I'd be truly happy. If only I had the time to do things, then I'd be truly happy.
That's just not true. People are unhappy because happiness as they expect it doesn't actually exist. Or rather, perpetual happiness does not exist. Happiness is a state of being, one that is fleeting. We can't be happy all the time. And, at least for me, the moments where I'm happy are becoming less and less. I don't have an answer for you OP but if you find an answer, post back here. Millions of people will thank you.
lel you sound like a fucking woman who thinks she actually has problems. that is nothing try being a 24 year old kissless virgin who is a neet you have it good bro don't throw your life away for nothing.