So, my girlfriend and I are both a little sick. She's one of those people who gets kicked a lot harder with the cold than most.
Is it wrong of me to be slightly annoyed that this is her reasoning for us not seeing each other in 2 weeks? I mean, she spends all day at work around other people, but she can't just stop by for a few minutes and give me a hug? (She'd have to come to me, as our schedules are very different)
I really hate spending this much time away from her. Not to mention, I'm a ridiculously jealous person, so it's pretty easy to be put on edge when I have trouble seeing/contacting her.
She spends all her time at work because she has to, dude. You know, in order to get paid. I think if it were up to her she'd stay home and sleep and never talk to anyone until she feels better.
Going out of her way to give you a hug probably doesn't fill her up with joy when she's sick. Wait until she gets better; then she'll be more likely to want to hug you.
> take time out of her day to see you
She's my fucking girlfriend. Wouldn't it make sense that of the hundreds of people she comes into contact with every day, she'd want me to be in the bunch?
>some reason you can't go and see her
She has a room mate. I don't. I'm not just going to barge in on them in the middle of the night and annoy the shit out of them.
Also, with her work and sleep schedule, she stays up a good 5-8 hours longer than I do. She usually sleeps through the day (making her inaccessible), wakes up to go to work, and then gets off after midnight. That would mean that the only feasible time that we can slip in a little visit is late night during the weekdays. I'm usually winding down by the time she's off, and given that we live pretty close to one another, it makes sense that it isn't a huge deal to drop by.
I think you missed my point anyhow. It's not like I'm steaming angry at her or that I'm telling her to drag herself out of her bed to come see me. My point is simply that she isn't too sick to call out from work, and she's there for a full shift interacting with people in close proximity. We literally haven't seen each other in 2 weeks, which is very strange for us. Am I really not entitled to miss her and want to see her for five minutes?
>She spends all her time at work because she has to, dude. You know, in order to get paid. I think if it were up to her she'd stay home and sleep and never talk to anyone until she feels better.
I never said that any of this isn't true.
Does it change anything if I say that her work is literally about a 1-minute drive from where I live, and that my place is on the exact route she takes to get home? And before anyone tells me I should just go see her at work, I'll point out that in her work, I wouldn't be able to get close to or talk with her.
She's sick. The last thing she wants to do after a shift at work, at midnight, is to go and socialise, even with her boyfriend. I seriously don't understand how stupid you have to be to not get this.
> you're perfectly capable of going to see her
>And before anyone tells me I should just go see her at work, I'll point out that in her work, I wouldn't be able to get close to or talk with her.
Does that change anything?
>I seriously don't understand how stupid you have to be to not get this.
You're an annoying cunt and have been disregarded. If you want me to see your point of view, how about actually telling me why I'm being unreasonable rather than jump to ad hominems?
By the way, I haven't brought this up to her or anything. I'm just getting a little anxious because I literally can't see her for a single second of the day unless she decides to come to me.
>So go and see her at her place. Or just fucking wait until she's better.
>She has a room mate. I don't. I'm not just going to barge in on them in the middle of the night and annoy the shit out of them.
What I'm telling you is that I have absolutely no way of seeing her whatsoever until she decides to see me. I mean, it's fine, I'm not forcing her to do anything. I just don't like that it's been so long since I've seen her.
You're being unreasonable because you expect her to go and see you because you miss her and don't trust her. She's sick. She's going to work because she needs the money. She goes straight home afterwards because she's sick and doesn't want to entertain her needy boyfriend. You are not as sick as her. You can go and visit her, for example, before work. But you don't, for some reason. You could also just wait until you're better and she's better to see her again. What part of this is so confusing to you? Do you seriously lack empathy or the ability to see things from another point of view?
It's not about convenience; it's about feeling tired enough that she wants to go home after completing her obligation to her workplace.
Look, do you want her to feel obligated to come see you, or do you want her to actually want to come see you? If it's the former, tell her you miss her. If it's the latter, too bad; there's nothing you can do about it except wait for her to get better.
>because you expect her to go and see you because you miss her
I never said that I expect her to. I'm saying that it bothers me to be away from her this long -- It wouldn't bug me if we talked much during the day, but she sleeps during a lot of the day, then she works (can't talk at all), and then she spends the rest of her time up at an hour that I couldn't be up. This means I've had almost 0 contact with her for half a month.
>and don't trust her
That has nothing to do with it. Are you saying that you'd be perfectly happy not seeing or talking to your significant other for indefinite periods of time just because you trust them?
>She goes straight home afterwards
Actually, she drives a coworker home (quite a detour) before turning around and going home every night.
I really disagree with you that wanting to see her really badly after half a month of almost no contact makes me "needy". How often do you do that with your partners?
>You are not as sick as her.
That's fair enough.
>You can go and visit her, for example, before work. But you don't, for some reason
Nope. She wakes up about 15 minutes before she has to clock in and spends more than half of those getting ready. I cannot stress to you enough the fact that I LITERALLY cannot see her for a single second of the fucking day, no matter how fucking badly I wanted to, unless I'm staring at her through her car window as she's driving to work. LITERALLY no time to see her.
>Do you seriously lack empathy or the ability to see things from another point of view?
Of course not. It's just that -your- point of view seems to be based on a really big misunderstanding of a lot of important details I've already outlined. I'm not the least bit annoyed at her for being sick, or because we haven't been in regular contact or anything like that. I'm just a little annoyed that as things are now, it could be another month before I see her again.
That's precisely why this is a frustrating situation for me. Normally, we have to be creative with our time to see each other often, but it works. A lot of the time she'll stop by my place after work and we'll stand outside or sit in one of our cars and talk for a bit. Sometimes we'll stay the night at each other's places. A lot of the time, we hang out with each other on the 2 days she has off during the week.
When she's sick, though, it surprises me every time just how impossible it is to be in contact with her. She doesn't like talking on the phone, she doesn't stop by to see me after work, and naturally, she rests on her days off.
> Are you saying that you'd be perfectly happy not seeing or talking to your significant other for indefinite periods of time just because you trust them?
Not the anon you're originally replying to but yes. I'm in a ldr so it's easier for me, although we do talk. Speaking of, why don't you skype her? Or call her? Or text her? Shit, write her a letter?
I'm sure you have your reasons for responding to the situation in the way you are now, but you come off as really needy and demanding.