>>16723192 no, i don't think that at all. which is why i let the conversation die and free them from the agony of talking to me. and i don't blame them, but it does't solve the fact that i'll die without ever hugging a gilr
why don't i have basic human value to offer? im only good for money? is that what you're saying?
>doing something in their life
YOU MEAN GETTING MONEY OR QUALIFIED TO MAKE LOTS OF MONEY SO HE CAN GIVE YOU ALL HIS MONEY
>>16723213 I'm >>16723177. I'm 23 and I'm in law school. Why shouldn't I want a guy who's not sitting at home and leeching of anyone and everyone? And honestly, if you can't see why a woman wouldn't want a man like you and you honestly think a woman would only want a man who's doing something with his life so that she can take his money, then you being a NEET is the least of your problems. You sound like a manchild and your personality sounds repulsive.
>>16723221 >Why are you talking about money? Where did that even come from?
>>16723177 The only things people "do" in their lives are work and school (so you can work later.) Work is only so you can have money >>16723223 I'm 25 and I'm in pharmacy school. I said I'm not that neet guy btw, maybe you're not great at conversation chains on 4chan. I work full time when school isn't in session, and I work close to full time even during the semester.
Work is about making money yes but also pursuing your interests and doing something you love. The money is just a perk. If you hate your job and you tell someone that you hate it then why should they be excited about anything you say? People, especially the ones you don't know, don't want to feel pity for you.
Simple. You don't. You're bound to spend the rest of your life alone. And so am I. We are singled out by natural selection. Think about it, if we were in our current state were living in a hunter-gatherer society of pre-civilizational times, the tribe would have left us to die alone in the wilderness.
>>16723008 >How does a 25yo neet virgin shutin ever get a gf? By changing one or more of these parameters. There's nothing you can do about your age, and your virginity is something of a moot point: it would be difficult to change that without getting a girlfriend (i.e. the end goal of this exercise anyway) or changing the other parameters.
That leaves you with two options: you can cease to be NEET, or you can cease to be a shut-in. Which would you rather change?
>>16723263 >neets have way more hobbies and things they like to do. By and large they don't. Most only have a single hobby: consuming mass media. A few have two hobbies: consuming mass media and working out, But the NEET lifestyle often doesn't allow for more interests than these.
>>16723277 Not OP, but I stopped being a shutin and nothing changed. I'm attractive but can't into conversation, so never do, therefore can't approach women. Hoping PUA will teach conversation tactics. Otherwise think I'm boned and hope someone from church arises to teach me. Could happen, I feel.
>>16723284 >why are NEETs so resistant to the idea of changing to get something they want? Because changing is work. Much like education, employment, and training are all work. It's a common misconception that NEETs are opposed to employment, per se; some are, and many more tell themselves that they are, but people don't choose to go NEET to avoid getting a job. They choose it because they think it's the path that requires them to put forth the least effort.
>>16723302 I'm pretty sure social skills are genetic brah. It comes naturally to some people I speak with. In fact, I even felt what it was like to converse naturally before, in a bout of psychosis. Don't ask though.
>>16723302 Not the guy you're responding to but social skills are something you develop in your formative years. If you were a shutin when you were kid, you're pretty much bound to be one forever. It's the same with language, empathy and pretty much all other behaviors required for functioning in a social setting. If you don't develop it early, you don't develop it at all.
>>16723318 Well, no. I was shy as fuck back in high school and for the first year of uni. You know what happened in my second year? I got sick of having no friends and I made an effort to talk to people and to get to know them.
This is exactly what >>16723301 was talking about, you people find a fucking excuse for everything. Nothing is ever your own fault or within your own control, is it? If you don't want to change, then don't, but don't pretend it's impossible and don't fucking whine about it.
>>16723296 >Hoping PUA will teach conversation tactics. The only worthwhile thing PUA can teach you is that there is no need to fear rejection. The rest is bullshit. All of it.
That one lesson is a valuable one: make no mistake about that. It is the kwy to literally everything social. But it is a lesson that the people around you have been all but bending over backwards to teach you for free. There's no need to give the PUA-scammers money for it, and no reason to give them money for anything else they're selling.
>>16723328 What, a guide to what humans do naturally? You've got to be kidding me. You really want your life fixed with you doing as little as possible, don't you? Does the thought of even a little bit of effort on your part make you sweat?
>>16723324 No, it actually isn't. It's scientifically proven that language (verbal and nonverbal), comprehension of social cues, emotional intelligence, self-image and self-esteem, etc. have to be developed within the first 6-10 or so years of a person's life. If they aren't, then tough luck.
Varying degrees of isolation also physically change parts of the brain, much like depression and anxiety do.
No it isn't. Most stand up comedians today were shut in kids, most movie stars and singers had awkward childhoods where they were "that" kid who sat alone in the cafeteria, the fact that you're making up these petty excuses without posting citation is honestly downright pathetic.
Another buzzword that's used to give people a free pass out of not being sociable. Guess what? Everyone has anxiety, everyone has a fear of rejection, guess what? They get over it and they go do things anyway cause life is way too short to be wondering, "What if s-s-she doesn't like me? Well I did grow up shy s-s-o I guess this is my fate"
Damn, why should any woman want to be with a coward like you?
>>16723318 My parents were hyper religious and didn't let me or my brother out of the house until we we're like 14, and even then we we're only aloud to go to school, no after school activities or friends over or anything. We we're "home schooled" before grade 9 but that was really just sitting around doing nothing. Literally had no social development and suddenly going to school and talking to people hit me like a truck. I was crazy hard and for pretty much 2 years I was an outcast and the weirdest fucking kid you will ever meet, but by the end of my senior year I was actually okay. I developed a group of sort of friends. My brother didn't adjust to it and killed himself. If you ever have kids fucking let them learn to interact with people, It's crazy hard to adjust later in life.
You're either trolling or have been living under a rock these past... 200 years or so.
>Most stand up comedians today were shut in kids, most movie stars and singers had awkward childhoods where they were "that" kid who sat alone in the cafeteria, Source: Your ass
>the fact that you're making up these petty excuses without posting citation is honestly downright pathetic. God, the irony.
But since you're making baseless assumptions here, I'll make one myself. Most of the "that kid" stereotypes come from well within the school age bracket. Most "that kid" people were socially okay during the first 6 years of their lives, but the mass-oriented nature of school overwhelms some people as does the occasional bullying incident.
Also, a bit of an anecdote from personal experience. I was a shut-in since the day I could walk. I'd stay away from other toddlers on the playground. My parents were also emotionally absent and thought nothing of it. As such I never developed the ability to read emotions and cues quite like other people. Sure, I've reversed the majority of the damage over the years, but everyone I've ever talked to about this particular issue has mentioned that I am "outwardly strange." Maybe not quite an autismlord, but you get the idea.
This is why early childhood socialization is so important to brain development.
>Another buzzword that's used to give people a free pass out of not being sociable. Guess what? Everyone has anxiety, everyone has a fear of rejection, guess what? They get over it and they go do things anyway cause life is way too short to be wondering, "What if s-s-she doesn't like me? Well I did grow up shy s-s-o I guess this is my fate"
Okay, now I know you're definitely either trolling or an idiot. The world isn't some Randian or Jeffersonian utopia where everyone can be a superman if they just worked hard at it. There are limits that go beyond people's control. Cognitive limitations, circumstantial limitations, etc
>>16723414 No girl wants to date a NEET. OP and others like him know that. They also know what they have to do to change it, but they don't want to because sitting and whining on 4chan is easier. OP never wanted advice at all.
>you're trolling or an idiot cause I say so >talking in an absolutes and slapping on, "it's a scientific fact" when dealing with social interaction to hide the fact that he's full of shit >goes around telling people like OP, "Hey buddy it's okay if you were a shut-in, you're doomed forever"
>Where everyone can be a superman
Going out and talking to people isn't some supernatural feat, it's made out to be that way because humans fear rejection and it's all in your imagination where you think the worst is going to happen, when in actuality most people are nice and won't shun you for being friendly.
But if you want to keep living in your stupid bubble then sure, I just hope there isn't someone out there who's read your drivel about how all hope is lost cause they weren't a loud mouth through out college and actually believed that they can never break out of their shell.
>>16723350 >It's scientifically proven that language (verbal and nonverbal), comprehension of social cues, emotional intelligence, self-image and self-esteem, etc. have to be developed within the first 6-10 or so years of a person's life. If they aren't, then tough luck. Science has not proven this. It has shown that these things get somewhat more diffocult to develop after that time, but in doing so, it has also proben that developing these skills late is still possible.
Studies I heard about from conversation (so no citations sorry): - people with lost limbs use that part of their brain for something else - if you put babies in water they might learn to swim or something
What I take from this: when the brain is forming it is malleable and develops depending on what the child does. Also, what he doesn't do. And brain "space" taken up by doing one thing can cause deficiencies in something else.
>>16723434 Okay. Make excuses. Just don't come and whine about how hard your life is because you've got nothing going on and you're alone. I mean, if it's beyond your control, there's nothing you can do to change it, right?
>>16723441 Those examples don't prove anything. They proves that we can learn things early in life and that we can adapt to drastically new situations. What they don't prove is that NEETs are lost causes simply because of the life they were exposed to at an early age, which is what those other studies supposedly show.
>>16723426 No, you're trolling or an idiot because you refuse to educate yourself on what stunted social development is and how much of an impact it has on a person's entire life. Further, it's information so easy to look up it's not even funny. You're willfully profoundly ignorant of established scientific fact as well as the struggles of people who are less capable than yourself. You take your healthy, normal development for granted and can't grasp what it's like to be cognitively impaired. And to some extent that's understandable, but please try to be a little more self-aware.
>Going out and talking to people isn't some supernatural feat Except it is to people who don't have necessary brain development for it. As >>16723328 said, he has no idea how to even approach people and needs a written guide. And while to you it may seem strange that someone would need a guide for what humans do naturally, it simply doesn't come as naturally to some people as it does to most. And even with years of cognitive and behavioral therapy, such people will never be a hundred percent normal.
I may be dumb but I'm not the one not posting sources to your dragged out drivel.
>j-j-ust look it up >normies reeeeeeeeeee
Like I asked before, did you come here looking for advice or for excuses as to why you're too scared to talk to girls? Because that's all it is, cowardice, not some scientific evolutionary mumbo jumbo. He needs a written guide cause he doesn't want to take the initiative, coddling people and telling them, "Hey buddy it's okay baby you were born this way, you'll be like this forever stay in your comfort zone"
Nothing "comes naturally" They're called social skills for a reason, it's something you have to keep developing. What you're saying is beyond retarded that I can't believe I'm even responding to it, it's like saying just cause there's a 6 year old Chinese kid out there who can play Beethoven with their eyes closed then you as a 25 year old man who can't even play twinkle twinkle little star should just give up trying to learn the piano. You're actually disgustingly negative and enabling this false sense of entitlement and social phobia. Anxiety is a natural and common human emotion, it's not a goal to get rid of it but to embrace it and use it to your advantage.
If you don't love yourself and aren't doing anything to better your life why should someone else care to? But keep calling me an idiot and hiding behind "scientific facts" that somehow explain why simply saying hello to someone can be so traumatic.
>>16723476 Dont tango with me im delerious on ambien. What if I were to suggest op has internal conflicts and is scared about their life? Berating them won't do anyone good but obviously neither will them rejecting advice.
>>16723546 Go on then, give OP real advice. Practice what you preach. Lead by example. He's not going to listen though, he doesn't want to do anything that's harder than sitting and whining on 4chan about how lonely he is
Yeah that's it, even if you go to someone you've never talked to before, it doesn't even have to be a girl, just go say hello to someone and ask how their day is going, if they walk away and look at you like a weirdo so what? You made some progress. I know for a fact that most people won't just walk away from you, there's bound to be people who'll find it awkward but to be polite will keep it going, go as far as you can, then keep doing it. This is how you get better. If you can put yourself in the mindset to talk to a trucker with a beer belly then you can to talk to a girl you see in public.
Literally just walk up, stand in front of her, say hello and your name. Even if you completely potato or stutter your name that's fine, that girl won't remember you by next week. Move onto the next one. You only get better by doing.
>>16723549 Oh my, im no leader. Im just a lurker glancing into the light briefly. I dont have any advice to give, it wouldnt hurt to try.
>>16723008 Op, you need to weigh your own options. Maybe you will try over and over to get a girlfriend and it wont work out, maybe it'll just hurt in the end. Or maybe you won't try at all, that might also bring you a lot of pain paired with lonliness. There's a lot of ways to look at something and I wouldn't ask anyone to blind themselves with optimism. But you know, it's easier to just be friends with someone then to go straight for a committed relationship, you could start there
>>16723557 I think the problem with OP and people like that is they are too self conscious. I was too and was shy as fuck until I realised I didn't give a fuck about what other people do so I assumed they didn't about me either. I always felt like I was watched even in the subway and couldn't even concentrate on reading a book.
So yeah that's it, ridicule never killed anyone and what do you care if a stranger is making fun of you. You'll never see them again and if you do I'm pretty sure they won't remember your face. Stop thinking everyone is looking at you and making fun of you, the truth is nobody cares about a fucking stranger in the street
Yes this is the entire pillar of human interaction. We think we're the center of attention when in actuality most people really don't care. They might see you being awkward and stuttering talking to a girl, and they might even try to make fun of you for it, but in the end you're much better than them in that you're not a coward. And girls will admire someone who has the balls to walk up to them and hit on them (as long as you're not a creep about it) even if the girl doesn't want to be in a relationship, worst case is she walks away and you realize she wasn't "waifu material", mediocre case is you get to be friends with a hot girl who can in turn introduce you to her other hot girl friends, best case you go out on a date.
This all sounds so easy in writing but once anyone just gets past that first step of saying, "Hello" then things get easier from then on.
>>16724414 Perspectives for the future, security, support. A person who can't look after himself isn't in the place to take care of me whenever I need it, and I can't see a future with them because he isn't working for it.
>>16724500 >he can't live the life I want to live if I don't pay it for him what, are you rich or something? if so, you're an exception
>I doubt a NEET is highly educated, very intelligent, or in a nice place emotionally ok, lets say the neet is indeed highly educated and intelligent, but is unable to find work because there isn't much employment in his field (which is the case for lots of neets), what would you think of him
>Any other guy can give me what he can (sex and affection, basically) And what are you, and women in general, able to offer other than those things?
Bull. Fucking. Shit. Someone who is educated and intelligent would not need a long time to find a job. If you are a neet for over a year, something is wrong with you. And, naturally, no girl would be interested in babying you.
>>16724522 >what, are you rich or something? I have a job and a scholarship. I live alone, I travel a lot, I have hobbies, I go out often. I need money to do so, and I don't want to give up on it for a boyfriend.
>what would you think of him? Unemployment in people with Bachelor degrees or higher is very low. As long as it's a momentary thing and he's trying REALLY hard to find a job or improving himself, it's fine. If he's fine with the fact that he's a NEET, not worth my time.
>And what are you, and women in general, able to offer other than those things? I can look after myself, I live alone and I can do anything in the house. I'm economically independent. I have hobbies, I have my shit together emotionally so I'm able to look after someone if he needs me. I know what I want and I work to get it. I've been told I'm interesting to talk to and be with.
>>16723177 Why should I, as a 25 yo NEET KHHV want to date You, a worthless uptight whore that has nothing to offer but her shitty looks.
Every Thursday I call up a decent prostitute, I fuck the ever living shit out of her and then I'm settled for another week.
You see, that's all everyone is ever going to want out of you. Your filthy roast. Except they're all going to be betas that will pretend to enjoy your company and buy you things for which you'll give them your body you whore.
Expanding on this, I love taking it slow with virgin guys and giving them the ultimate girlfriend experience, doing things they like with them, encouraging them to do what they love and makes them happy even, fuckloads of affection NEETS are fascinating creatures that you can learn a lot from They all have a lot of potential and a lot of them are very good at vidya which is a must, I could never be with someone who is worse at vidya than me
>>16725311 They're just normal dudes but you get to experience their first experiences with them which is so exciting and special I'm not sure if it's a fetish Looks don't matter at all, as long as they're nice which from what I've experienced they're always kind to wemon.
Suppose you're not a neet. I have a steady job and once I earn enough to move I'll have my own place, but I still have no pastimes I can admit to in polite company. What then? Shop around the hobbies I don't enjoy but that are deemed socially acceptable just to make myself appear more 'interesting', (like some kid trying to beef up his CV with bullshit 'experience')? Put myself into social situations that I can handle just fine, but have never enjoyed so that I can meet people on completely different wavelengths with whom I have nothing of substance to discuss?
People here talk derisively about being unwilling to change, but the notion of trying to make like you're someone you're not just to have people not dismiss you has always repulsed me.
I'm mostly content with my life. I can fulfil my basic needs and I know by now what makes me happy and I do it, even if it's sneered at by most people. But I still feel the desire to love and be loved.
What do I have to offer? If this thread is to believed, absolutely nothing, bar financial support, which is no basis for a relationship, or emotional support, which doesn't necessitate a relationship.
>>16725644 This is a really level-headed way to put it. I don't have any advice I just feel like i'm treading a similar path. I've tried before to get into other hobbies and hang out with people, but every time I try I wind up being shitty to other people and making the experience worse for them somehow. I don't want to make things worse for other people and I don't want to be dishonest with myself. I can't find any meetups that meet my interests in my local area, so I feel stuck with myself.
>>16725875 Not him, but I've never been able to understand the notion of going up to a complete stranger apropos of nothing and making contact. If someone did that to me I'd be immediately suspicious of them, because why the hell *would* anyone do that unless they were after something?(this is also the reason it seems to me creepy to do this to women)
Hm. Thinking about it, maybe it's easier for people with more mainstream or acceptable interests or pastimes since they could reasonably expect someone to share one or several of them.
>>16725314 >Not being a leech society is filled with leeches (ever heard of welfare?) and plenty of them still get laid
>Doing more with your life than just sitting at home and posting on 4chan Let me guess, work, school and ''traveling''? A little protip: those may be interesting things for you because you are the one experiencing them, but nobody really gives a fuck when you talk about it.
>>16726284 >A little protip: those may be interesting things for you because you are the one experiencing them, but nobody really gives a fuck when you talk about it. That's not true. I love hearing about someone's experiences, what he did during the day, his stories, or even just talking to me about what he learnt at school. Being with someone that can actually teach me something is fucking hot.
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at email@example.com with the post's information.