So my GF is hanging out with two male co workers tonight. It bothers me because usually when I ask her to do something she says no because she says we don't have the money, and when I do manage to go somewhere with her she doesn't dress up or anything. Well today two of her co workers asked her to go out and she instantly said yes and decided to curl her hair and get all dressed up. It does worry me. I'm sitting here with my stomach churning. Idk if i'm overreacting or not. We've been together for 3 years and I'm her first BF.
Is she dressing up to kiss up to a boss or get a promotion or something?
Compliment her on how she looks and suggest that both you and her could dress up for your next date.
Wait and see, don't do anything stupid right now.
That's all pretty stereotypical signalling of interest in someone else. Primping, unexpected plans, behavior out of the ordinary like spending money (if out of character). Your guts know something's up, so something's probably up.
What that may be, can't say, nor how it will turn out. Confront her, talk to her like an adult. Can't tell her not to have friends and not go out - tell her your fears and ask her to be honest. It'll probably get messy, good luck.
I do trust her, but it's just so unexpected. She's never hung out with other males until now.
No these are just normal co workers. I wasn't going to do anything, I'm just worried.
She very rarely gets dressed up for me. It's usually either hair in a ponytail or bun and t-shirt and leggings.
We have talked about it before. I've told her that I dont care if he has male friends and that she can go out with anyone she wants. I don't want to be like those guys who regulate and go through their gfs phone and social media accounts. It just bothers me because of the whole saying no to me when I ask her out but instantly says yes when two guys do.
Maybe she said yes so quickly because she finally has an opportunity to hang out with other guys besides you. I mean, if you've only been hanging out with guys and your gf, you'd be interested if two girls asked to hang out.
Money seems to be more of an issue when you ask her out because you do it on a regular basis (as you should). You could try budgeting out a certain amount of money for dates and of course, asking that both you and her dress up.
>Idk if i'm overreacting or not
you are not imho
she usually doesn't have money to hang out with you, and when two guys ask her out she has money and dress up
it's very suspicious for sure, is it really two guys? will one of them magically disappear?
in her defense i tend to care more about my appearance when around strangers
>She very rarely gets dressed up for me. It's usually either hair in a ponytail or bun and t-shirt and leggings.
I don't really make too much of an effort when I'm around my boyfriend because I know he doesn't expect me to
>It just bothers me because of the whole saying no to me when I ask her out but instantly says yes when two guys do.
Because it's a chance to do something new. Would I be wrong in saying that your relationship is full of routine? That you tend to do the same shit week after week, month after month? This is something to break that monotonous routine for her.
that is impossible unless her male friends are gay or maybe already in a relationship. if they are straight and single they are waiting for you to break up with her so they can fucker. also she will be vulnerable during the break up because she will go crying to her male friends and they can get easy sex out of her.
But we dont go out on a regular basis because she ALWAYS says we don't have the money for it even when we are clearly in a financially stable spot in our relationship.
I can understand the dressing up part. I'm not sure if one of them is going to "disappear" or not but I think the part that troubles me most is that she was going to hang out with one of them 1 on 1 before. On Christmas around 3am. They were going to just talk all night. She ended up not going because I got upset about the fact that the way she became interested in me was by hanging out all night with me to talk.
We don't do the same things all the time though. I always try doing new things so she won't get bored because I know what it's like being in a monotonous relationship. It's what made me leave my ex.
One got out of a 6 year relationship and the other is a single father with 2 kids.
Well, that's why you budget it out.
Sit down with her, outline and plan how much you spend on food, housing, leisure, etc. and not only will this solve your dating problem, but it'll give both of you peace of mind financially.
Play it chill OP.
She legit might just be interested in hanging out with them.
You can't always be the spotlight of attention. Just lay back and relax, innocent until proven guilty.
She's just comfortable around you etc.
But why is it that you "ask her and she says no Money". Ask her one day sort of what are your plans for today, when you catch her saying nothing, tell her we're going out tonight and if she says no just ignore it.
I can understand that, but she has childhood female friends that ask her to hang out and she always tells them no. She also has some female friends from work and also tells them no. All of a sudden these guys ask her out and its a yes? She also texts one of them occasionally.
I have done that, but she still spends her money on things she wants and I don't really tell her anything because it is her money that she worked for.
I'm really trying dude. I told her it was cool and that I trust her, but it's just all these things that make me nervous. Like the whole saying no to me and stuff. Oh and I think the thing that takes my uneasiness to another level is that they're going to a bar...which she has never wanted to do with me.
this is kinda fucked up
she doesn't care when her female friends asks her out, but when a male coworker does it she immediately agrees
to trust is important, and people often have the idea that if they are insecure it's because they need to change themselves
in my opinion, sometimes it's rational to break up and move on even if you don't have proof
if similar stuff is going to happen more times, it will be nothing but a relationship with constant worries
I have talked to her about it and is always like i'd never cheat on you and shit like that, but then its like then why the fuck you going to a bar with two dudes and you never want to go with me to the bar.
I don't want to break up with her though. I mean I've hung out with girls and she trusted me, but she knows that if she was even slightly upset about it I would have cancelled the plans with the other girls. Also, she knew the females I was hanging out with. I have never even met or seen these guys. She always tells me that shes being told she has a nice ass at work and that her bf must be a lucky guy. This is a constant thing at her job. She also gives her number out so easily because she "can't" say no because she'd feel awkward about it.
She's probably tired of you bro, i'm sorry to tell you that but she probably miss the cock train she took before your relationship.
Maybe you should act like you don't care at all and hang out with your own friends (because it seem that you're pretty dependant of her, in the sense that you like hanging out for sure, but with her, you have to do some shits alone or with your friends)
Maybe try new things in bed, be overly sexual, fuck her like she's your bitch to remind her that...well, she's your bitch.
Or just ask her what she would like to change in your personality or behavior, maybe her answer will be interesting.
Anyway, the facts, when you tell us thoses, smell really bad...
How old are you both ? Because she can probably tell you things like "i want some fun, i'm still young and i want to do something with my life, i think we settled down too early..."
and that's how she'll leave you for Chad1 and Chad2 cocks.
Good luck bro
I'm her first boyfriend. trust me shit was tight af when we first fucked. she also cried because she had never done it before and it hurt because she was so tense. If anything i'm much more independent. She was always so clingy and had no hobbies and at first I was ok with it, but then I felt like I had no time to myself. eventually she picked up reading books and things were ok. I hung out with my friends and so did she. But then this shit started happening. Maybe she is bored of me. we are fairly young. I'm 22 and she's 21. It doesn't make sense though because she's such an introvert. She had to go to therapy for her social anxiety and then bam now she hangs out with two dudes at once.
Accompanied with sadfrog.jpg I'm sure this is a really legit post with a lot of deep emotion behind it and not just a thinly veiled "oh god my girlfriend knows other dudes and I'm gonna get cucked" thread.
Honestly man, you can't expect to lock someone away in your castle and not get some kind of resentment from them. Being around two dudes doesn't mean she's automatically going to fuck them. Fostering business relationships is a key part of progressing your career, and if you always have to have your significant other at whatever work thing there is, it's almost embarrassing. This "dudes are sex hungry fiends, and women are just leaving themselves to get fucked" thing has gotta stop. 4chan's the most insecure place I've ever seen.
My coworkers and I go out every few weeks or months or so, and sure, some of the girls get dolled up, basically because it's a break from the routine. Everyone in the office gets to know each other better, and builds solidarity. If you don't show up, you're kind of the weird one. Everyone has a few drinks, a few laughs, talks shit about the company or whatever they're going through, and comes out better in the end for it. It's not as fun if your spouse is sitting there awkwardly staring at everyone because they have no clue about the day-to-day environment.
Some people here are right though, maybe just tell her you're going to spend some money because you want to do something new, and set a time for it. Get dressed up. Don't leave it as an option. If she really won't go do that, sure, maybe there's a problem. But, the problem isn't her going out with two dudes from work.
she's 21, so still very young, you're her FIRST so maybe she want to "experience" new guys..
IMO girls under 25 are very likely to mentally "change" when they're growing up, they think at first they know what they want, but after a while they start doubting and that's the beginning of the end...
OR like >>16722645 said, maybe it's nothing and she just want some fresh air by hanging out with other people than you.
But you should tell her that when she was all dressed up, that you find her really pretty and you'd like to see her more often dressed up for you :)
I mean, it's complicated because there can be some room in the budget for her buying shit she wants, but that shouldn't spill over into the money you set aside for dating.
Yeah it's her money, but it's not unreasonable to ask for her to sacrifice some money and time into maintaining the relationship when you've been putting in all this time and effort to prepare these dates.
OP, read the thread objectively and look at your posts as if they weren't your own. What would you see?
>My gf first became interested in me while we stayed out all night talking
>She won't go to bars with me or dress up for me
>But now she's going to go out with a male coworker who she previously wanted to spend all night talking with.. on FUCKING CHRISTMAS(!!!)
>She dressed up for him and decided to go out with him immediately
>Oh, but there's 2 of them so it's okay, right? I mean I wouldn't want to doubt her
>my GF is hanging out with two male co workers tonight
what ? didn't read the rest
wtf are you thinking. she must take you with her when going out with other men
You're fucked unless you somehow change her entire perspective of you. she has no respect for you, and is on the search for something new.
Either blow her mind or dump her, because she's no longer interested.
if my gf did that to me I'd dump her. complete lack of respect. you're basically her placeholder.