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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>>
>>16721313
How do I form an army of devout followers?
>>
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How good at the guitar do I have to be to make a girl fall for me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0nc-hh9viQ

If I play the song in the link, will most girls automatically feel attracted to me?
I only ask because that is my plan.
>>
>>16721316

Are you a guy or girl?

If you're a girl, be comparatively attractive to the people around you, and be a tease to every guy you meet.

If you're a guy, lift, and be a general frat douche
>>
>>16721340
I don't want followers that like me on instagram

I want to lead them in glorious conquest of this system
>>
>>16721346

Again, are you a girl or a guy?
>>
>>16721352
I'm gender neutral
>>
>>16721356
>gender
no one with a brain recognizes gender
>>
>>16721366
>>16721352
>>16721340
Are you new here?
>>
>>16721356
ohhh booii, here we go again.
I'm going to make an assumption that you aren't attractive, so it's going to be hard to get internet followers.

My question is: why are you in this thread if there is no opposite to your gender?
>>
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Do looks looks ultimately matter at all?

If so, exactly how much?

Like would you want to date/be with someone who had survived an extreme incident, but left him heavily scarred as a result?
>>
>>16721366
brains are inferior structures, weak essence

my body contains synaptic interchange between every cell in my body using the psionic energy of Zerus and the essence of those before me
>>
>>16721376
Let me put it this way: I wouldn't date someone I'm not attracted to. If I was dating someone and they were in an accident, I wouldn't dump them for it, but if I'm being honest, I don't think I'd begin to date someone who had had an accident. Maybe others would, but not me.
>>
>>16721376

In that pic, they were planning to get married before the incident, and she got pressured into going through with it.
>>
>>16721384

Yep, and they didn't make it six months if I remember correctly.
>>
>>16721384
Damn.

I think this is as low as I could ever see it go.

Yeah, he does look absolutely horrible, but that woman is far more disgusting on the inside than that dude is on the outside.
>>
>>16721397

>but that woman is far more disgusting on the inside than that dude is on the outside.

How is that?
>>
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Male here wondering what are some good openers for apps like tinder and okcupid?
>>
>>16721408
ayy bby u wan sum fuk
>>
>>16721404
Didn't she love him before he got sent to the front lines?

Or was she faking it from the very beginning?

Not exactly that familiar with the story except the part where she was pressured to take that pic and got married to him and stuff.
>>
Turns out my gf slept around when we first started dating.
Im actually furious right now.
Can someone tell me how shes going to respond when I bring this up to her. Weve been dating for some months now.
>>
What would make a woman feel more comfortable about participating in her first lesbian experience?
>>
>>16721413
Are you sure you were exclusive when she slept with other guys?
>>
>>16721410

Not sure how you expect me to know how she felt about him.

Also, I think you can talk all the shit in the world but your opinion is invalid until you have been put in her situation.
>>
>>16721413

Women always respond the same way, it's one of two ways. Don't ask a woman to tell you this, since they're fucking oblivious to it.

She will either say
>It was your fault because you [didn't tell me we were really serious about dating; didn't pay enough attention to me; didn't express you cared about me enough; didn't take me enough places at first; etc]
or she will say
>omg baby i love u so much i promise i will change jus let me sho u how OMG I really care about u but no i would never have told u i cheated, i would have lied forever and done it again but yeah totally love u now let me sho u how much ps im texting chad-rone rite now
>lov u!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>16721410
He looks nothing like the man she fell in love with.
Shes associated the man she loved with a different face and some hideous monster is in front of her. She needed time to reflect upon whether or not this was the same man. to mentally make a new association in her mind. To realize its still the same person. But she was forced into marriage with a stranger. Of course it didnt end well.
>>
>>16721419
I was. Apparently she wasnt.
>>16721426
Not even sure how to confront her.
>>
>>16721410

Most women cheat on their boyfriends/husbands while they are on duty, unless they have been married for a few year and have kids to keep them busy.

It's a sad truth. And when your fiancé comes back deformed, you shouldn't expect it to work out.
>>
>>16721438
>I was. Apparently she wasnt.
What made you think you were exclusive and was there any reason she would have thought you weren't?
>>
>>16721441
>Most women cheat on their boyfriends/husbands while they are on duty

[citation, etc...]
>>
>>16721448
The fact that we were dating.
>>
>>16721450

Women = bad, men = good.

Welcome to 4chan.
>>
>>16721457
Yeah, but was it clear you were in a relationship? Or are you counting right from the first date?
>>
>>16721464
>Welcome to 4chan.

[citation extremely needed literally right fucking now]
>>
>>16721450

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2161706/Almost-women-cheat-caught-partners---fifth-men-DO-out.html
>>
>>16721465
>was it clear you were in a relationship
Do you sleep around while dating multiple guys?
>>
>>16721477
What? If you weren't exclusive and not in a relationship, then she didn't cheat.
>>
>>16721450

https://devildog6771.wordpress.com/2007/07/02/what-the-men-have-to-say-about-cheating-significant-others-in-the-military-during-deployment/
>>
How would it make you girls/guys feel if you were supposedly cheating on your BF/GF/Wife/Hubby, and your BF/GF/Wife/Hubby knew about it, but never confronted you about it, but actually felt aroused by the situation?
>>
>>16721488
I'd fap
>>
>>16721482

I don't think anecdotes from butthurt 20 year old fags who only got married to get out of the barracks count.
>>
>>16721474

Fuck the Daily Mail's ambiguous wording. At first I thought that said 95% of women cheat.

>Recent studies suggest the figure is around 20 per cent for men and a little over 15 per cent for women.

Ayyyy.
>>
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>>16721313
For m'Ladies

I'm dating this girl who's never had sex before, hasn't had ANYTHING inside her ever
She's told me she's nervous about it hurting, but I've assured her it won't hurt if I do it correctly
I'm pretty certain I know what I'm doing, but any advice would be greatly appreciated

>was your first time being penetrated/fucked painful?

>if so, why?
>if not, why not?

Isn't it just a matter of taking everything really slowly,
making sure they're warmed up and
communicating with them about what feels good or not?
>>
>>16721580

If she's not wet it's gonna hurt... and I can already tell she'll be bone dry from what you wrote.

Choke her, call her a whore, make her drip.

dry sex= ouchie. Even with your little dick.
>>
>>16721580

It's probably going to hurt her to some degree no matter what. I had some pain and some bleeding, it was bearable but enough to suck the fun out of the first few times.

Go gently the first time, and warm her up as much as possible. Save the rough sex for after she gets used to a dick being inside her
>>
>>16721598
>bone dry
nope, she worries about it hurting because that's all she's heard from others, I'm basically her teacher

>choke her, call her a whore, make her drip
you've spent too much time on /b/ man

>little dick
ok bro if you say so
>>
>>16721481
I would assume this would be her response.
>>
>>16721619
But I mean in all honesty, it's best that you make sure you establish being exclusive in the future so you avoid this
>>
>>16721617
>you've spent too much time on /b/ man

He's kind of right, anon. Most women prefer to be submissive. For some this involves insults, for others it just means they want to feel protected. If she's never had sex before you should ignore that guy's advice and take it slow.

Disclaimer: I've never fucked a virgin
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>>16721621
nah Ill just assume people treat others decently.
But ill be on the look out more.
>>
>>16721632

Disclamer: I've fucked lots of virgins

They have the same sexual tastes as every other girl.

Usually, they want to do kinkier shit than normal girls, because it's all new for them.

>>16721617

you will never satisfy a woman

You are master, she is slave- lead her, tell her what to do
>>
>>16721645
Well I guess if you don't want to have a relationship with open communication and clearly defined boundaries then that's your business
>>
>>16721653
Yeah no, when I was a virgin I pretty much wanted nothing more than him to just inch his dick in there. Holy fuck I would've cried if he'd gotten rough, it wouldn't have been the good kind of pain
>>
>>16721313
Girls:
1. Yes I'm talking to you because you're a female 4channer, 'tis an awesome thing to see!
2. I'm Brian
3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.
>>
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My gf and I are in a rut. We had a fight a couple days ago because while we were both overweight (not obese), I've started going to the gym as of October and gradually am seeing how I change. She says that I'm doing it to attract other girls and once I'm fit I won't find her attractive or not.

I don't give a fuck what she looks like, she's kind and smart, has passion and drive. Her being mad at me is out of the ordinary for her.

I was 250lbs at 6'2 and am now 212lbs. She's 190lbs at 5'9. I'm finally showing some definition in my abs and some vascularity, my face looks different, too. I thought she'd find it sexy as hell but she's just mad.

I'm in an awkward spot because if I break up with her, it'll only reaffirm what she thinks. Our relationship is strained but I'm doing this for my health. Does my health come before the relationship? She doesn't think so, and this is why I want to cut it short.

Idk what to do. I don't understand her at all.

I thought I should add: my doctor says I'm at high risk of liver cancer because of a pre-existing condition: haemachromatosis (body produces too much and/or utilizes too little iron causing blood to be too iron rich). This is incurable but other ways to reduce my risk factor include stop smoking (done), drink less (done), eat less red meat (doing), and lose weight (doing). The weight loss is the cornerstone of this, though.
>>
>>16721654
I try not to date people who treat others like shit unless otherwise stated.
But we all make mistakes
>>
>>16721316
Mustache. sources: hitler, stalin, pablo escobar
>>16721336
4 chords good, and by that I mean learn a 4 chord song
>>16721376
looks do matter, how much varies from person to person
>>16721488
weird. i'm not into cucks and I don't cheat
>>
>>16721416

bumping
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>>16721666
hello satan

She's getting upset because she's feeling insecure about her own weight and attractiveness. Try and talk to her about what you can do so that she feels more secure about the relationship, and tell her it makes you sad when she thinks you've got secret motives for getting fit. You aren't out to hurt her
>>
>>16721672

Not the guy you've been talking to.

Sounds like this was your first adult relationship. Is that accurate?
>>
>>16721416
being bi/lesbian
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>>16721676

I already know more than 4 chords, and how to play a few songs. I guess it's time to play around people now.
>>
>>16721666
>I don't give a fuck what she looks like
You should if you loved her. Shes very fat. You should have took her to the gym with you if you cared about her. Give her a chance to hit the gym as well. She should take pride in her body. not be a fatass.
Shes insecure because she knows shes a fatty and fatties arent attractive. But if you were both fatties then theres no problem. You left her behind. Why would you not take her with you.
>>
>>16721672
People have different ideas of what counts as treating people like shit. Which is why clear boundaries need to be established. If you aren't about open communication then this mistake will happen again
>>
>>16721685
What the hell is an adult relationship. Its like all other relationships after hs. I wouldnt trust anyone who needs to be told no to treat others like shit. this isnt a business relationship.
>>
>>16721698
>I wouldn't trust anyone who needs clarification on when we've transitioned from dating to being exclusive
>>
>>16721712

Not that guy, but yeah.

If she doesn't understand that if you fuck someone you're exclusive with them then she won't be a good gf
>>
>>16721692
If you thought that was okay then we differ too much to date in the first place. But its a good way to see someones character. I dont want to be blindsided because I didnt stimulate sex with women is cheating or so other loophole. Some things need to be understood
>>
>>16721712
>not dating exclusively
No thanks. Im not a cuck. Imagine if you walked in on the person your were dating with someone else. Would you just brush it off and say its no big deal and keep dating.
>>
>>16721698

When you're an adult you have to state whether you're exclusive because it is a given that someone may be dating multiple people because they are looking for someone to marry.

Note that I said "dating" and not fucking. Just felt I needed to specify since it does seem like this was your first and you probably don't know one condition can exist without the other being true.
>>
>>16721698

For the record, what you're talking about is a business relationship- you expect the other person to be honest and decent, and if they aren't, you cut ties.

>>16721723

A girl huh? I didn't think there were many good ones left, good for you darling
>>
>>16721632
she's the submissive one in our relationship, but I know being abused would turn her off

>>16721653
yeah she's definitely got sex on her mind a lot more than other girls I know

>you will never satisfy a woman
where do you get off making those statements? speak for yourself
I actually just out-did myself on Friday so you can blow me m8
>>
>>16721735

Whatever, dude.

All internet posturing aside, do yourself a favor and ensure that you're exclusive with the next woman you date so that you don't get buttblasted and end up here again.
>>
Girls,

What does it mean when a girl doesn't text you back for hours and than when she does text, its one word. She does text me first on occasion but its also few words. She says she wants to date but turns down plans and has excuses. I would normally say this is bad but she is autistic and the excuses she has made have been plausible. Should I bail? I am an autistic male and we met in a support group. We are both highly functioning however a non medical test scores her higher than me on the autistic spectrum.
>>
>>16721744
>because it is a given that someone may be dating multiple people

Why would you want a relationship with a disgusting woman?
>>
>>16721760

Because when you're an attractive man, or an average woman, there are multiple people who may prove to be your ideal mate. You date multiple people and choose the best one.

This is the way life works. Get used to it, or I guess you can opt out and become a hermit or kill yourself.
>>
>>16721744
who dates someone while fucking another. How does that make sense to you.
> it is a given that someone may be dating multiple people
No, I dont date those types of people
>>
>>16721783
Socially acceptable in the 21st century.
Have you not learned that women have no concept of loyalty?

I personally meet my chicks one at a time, but you can't hold it against them in today's dating world.
>>
>>16721774

Attractive man here.

No?

1. Meet girl

2. Go on date

3. Ask her out

4. She says yes, fuck or she says no, move on

Not everyone attractive is disgusting.
>>
>>16721774
>You date multiple people and choose the best one.
>I string people along and play with their hearts
I really want to never encounter those people. Normally Im a pretty good judge of character and just cross them off. But I made a mistake this time apparently.
>>16721758
I dont want a woman I need to ensure isnt cucking me.
Ill step up my judge of character skills though. She seemed a little loose but I figured some people are just flirty. But I dont have time for this shit
>>
>>16721783

>who dates someone while fucking another. How does that make sense to you.

I didn't say that.

>No, I dont date those types of people

I'm not telling you what you should do. I'm just informing you know that this is how the massive majority of adults function; just let her know your expectations up front and you won't have a problem, no need to sperg out on me.
>>
>>16721794
>women have no concept of loyalty
I try to avoid those who dont. First time getting cucked though.
Trying to gather a good way to articulate the breakup without calling her a whore
>>
>>16721802
Are you saying the vast majority of adults fuck others while dating others. Because thats not how we work in my world. I dont know where youre picking up chicks but try not to go places sluts populate.
>>
>>16721806
how'd you find out she was sleeping around?
>>
>>16721812

Again, I never said that.
>>
>>16721818
Shes attractive. So people talk about her.
>>
>>16721759
I just listened to a podcast today about how female and male autism differs, so I wouldn't put too much stock into comparing test scores.

Honestly it's hard enough to give advice when dealing with someone without autism, in this case I doubt anyone could give you any useful advice. Best advice I can give is follow what makes you happy, if you're not happy in this situation then call it a day and move on. Keep in mind there are literally thousands of potential dates out there if you're open.
>>
>>16721837
what'd they say about her?
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>>16721841
Not trying to relive the cuck story. Just talked about some people who scored with her.
We met through friends of friends so theres a path from the girls she goes out with back to me.
>>
>>16721806

My advice: woman need closure, so if you want her to feel like she's done something wrong, tell her you are leaving her, because she cheated on you, ad don't say a word to her ever again.
It will benefit you and her next love interest.
If you call her a whore, that will make you look bad, and reinforce her behavior.

Been there. Done that.
>>
>>16721840
Thanks, I'll keep this in mind. She is an odd one thats for sure, I give it a few more chances and than ditch her.
>>
>>16721619
And there'd be nothing wrong on her part with it.
>>
Does sex not hurt after the first time anymore?
>>
>>16722029
it doesn't even have to hurt the first time at all, assuming your partner takes their time warming you up and goes slowly

technically sex can always hurt if the person sticks it in dry or is too rough,

does your partner go too fast?
>>
>>16721580
I got drunk before my first time, worked great! I get sooo horny when im drunk..
>>
>>16722009
>women arent expected to be loyal
>>
>>16722169
There was nothing stopping him from dating other women if they weren't exclusive either. My answer would be the same if the genders were swapped.
>>
Some background: I am 5'10", about 3 inches taller and 7 years younger than the 35 year old man I'm interested in. We're both pretty outgoing but nerds in our niche fields of study so it's hard to find people with similar hobbies and personalities.

1) Are men insecure about a woman (who is interested in them or vice versa) being taller than him?

2) Do any of the men here in their 30s think someone in their mid to late 20s is too young for them to date? Is that age category considered more like one night stand material?
>>
>>16722135
yeah that sounds like an ok idea, but she's nervous about the whole thing so idk how she'd feel doing it drunk
could probably convince her to get a little tipsy

feel any pain?
>>
Is it weird if your best friend is an ex?
>>
>>16722195
go slow, it's probably gonna hurt at least a little no matter what you do. i'm not the chick you responded to but my first time hurt. not super bad but there was some blood and just enough pain to suck the fun out of the first time. i just kind of wanted to get it and the next few times over with
>>
>>16722174
Your answer is based on your gender. never trust a women right.
>>
>>16722203
so do you just stop awkwardly and call it a night?
I really want to give my gf a great first time, even if it means finishing with me fingering her
>>
>>16722211
howdy
>>
>>16722211
no, i just kinda toughed it out and let him have his fun and then we called it a night.

it wasn't a good relationship though so i'm sure your time will be better. however, i'm not sure how her vagina will feel about fingering when it's already hurting a little
>>
>>16722181
1) some are
2) it happens
>>
>>16722215
not sure if I'd finger fuck her, I meant more along the lines of rubbing her cus she had this amazing 1 and a half minute long orgasm on friday
>>
>>16722223
oh lol, that should be fine then. there may be blood though
>>
Girls, can you give a no BS assessment on how important height is for a guy?

I know quite a few very attractive girls who are in really committed relationships with guys who are just a few inches taller than them.

Then i see videos like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22gtSCJd9jA

and experience shit like the other day at a club where I heard two girls talking about a guy there she really liked but she was worried he wasn't 5 inches taller than her, with the most serious / anxious faces.

I'm an interesting / cool guy apart from being 5'9.

At the end of the day I just want a girl I can make happy. I'm really scared about falling in love with a girl and her being embarassad / worried about me not being 6 foot or taller when we meet other couples, go in public etc.
>>
>>16722242
5'9" is fine. 5'5" or shorter is iffy unless the girl herself is like 5'2". But the fact you're mentioning girls at clubs means you're interacting with a specific group of women who are likely to only be accepting of 6'+.
>>
>>16722242
I'm 5'2 and the only thing that matters to me is that the guy is a few inches taller than me. My boyfriend's 5'9. Yeah, tall guys are, on average, more attractive (partially because i like being dominated and tall people are more intimidating). But the bad thing with tall people is that it's harder to fuck in certain positions, and holding hands with a tall person is the fucking worst. Even my boyfriend and I have some issues with that because of our height differences
>>
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>>16721313
Guys or girls: what's your worst rejection or dating story?

>Friend meets girl on tinder
>chat for two weeks, tries to exchange numbers with her
>decide to meet at a bar on Friday
>Meet an hour away from out apartment
>He fucking Ubers there from work to meet
>Arrives
>She never shows up
>Unmatches him, doesn't respond to her Kik either
>I have to drive with my girlfriend to pick him up
>He has not tried to date anyone since
>>
>>16722263
>what's your worst rejection or dating story?
I liked a friend and didn't know how he felt. So I made a really cute box, put a heart pillow that I made in home-ec inside, and then put a bunch of his favorite candies, booster packs for a card game he likes, etc. in there. I didn't want to embarrass him, so I gave it to him when we were alone. He just silently took it, walked backwards, and dumped it in the trash before leaving. I recovered it, took it home and cried while eating the chocolates. Ended up saving the cards for myself.
>>
>>16722242
If he's at least two or so inches taller than me, that's fine. I'm 5'0" for reference. One of the most attractive guys I've ever seen was about 5'3".

If I'm speaking for all girls, generally we want someone at least our height, preferably taller
>>
>>16722285
>someone at least our height, preferably taller

This, plain and simple
>>
>>16722260
>>16722261
So if you were in a prom like scenario with a guy who was 5'9 you wouldn't feel sort of ashamed / embarassad etc. if your other friends were with guys who were 6'+?

I know I sound really insecure about this, but as a kid I was REALLY small growing up. Girls would always tell me that I'm really short etc.

When I was like 14/15 I was told my prom date was kind of embarassad that all her other friends had tall dates except her, by one of her friends.

I'm 21 now and grown a lot since, but It's like I've got this anxiety in me and it's keeping me from getting commited with any girl past sex.
>>
>>16722308
You were surrounded by a bunch of immature teenage girls that liked to compete with each other. In the real world, when you're an adult, women that genuinely like you don't care about petty shit like that.
>>
>>16722318
> In the real world, when you're an adult, women that genuinely like you don't care about petty shit like that.

Thanks, I know it sounds really stupid etc. but just reading that feels really reassuring.
>>
>>16722281
Holy fuck that's cold.
>>
>>16722351
Yup. He was always nice and fun to hang around, so I didn't really understand his reaction. We didn't talk to each other after that.
>>
Dudes, how do you feel about animals? Would you hit them and be cool with it?

What do you think about people who care alot about animals? Would you shrug off someone defending a shaking dog as an emotional nutcase?

Would you shrug off your girlfriend being scared as her being an emotionally annoying lady?
>>
>>16722451
>Dudes, how do you feel about animals? Would you hit them and be cool with it?
I fucking love animals and would like to keep livestock some day. I'd only hit them if they were attacking me.

>What do you think about people who care alot about animals? Would you shrug off someone defending a shaking dog as an emotional nutcase?
They're pretty cool. No.

>Would you shrug off your girlfriend being scared as her being an emotionally annoying lady?
Nope.
>>
>>16721464
You're an idiot. Infidelity is infamous in the armed forces. You can argue the cause, but it's a very real thing. Muh Soggy Knee has nothing to do with it.

>>16722181
>1) Are men insecure about a woman (who is interested in them or vice versa) being taller than him?
Some are, some arent. I'm 6'2" so I'd be more impressed than anything. We have no idea what this guy is like, so I'd suggest you just go forward and see what happens.

>>16722451
>Would you hit them and be cool with it?
My dog once ran under me and I accidentally stepped on his foot. I felt horrible for a good while. Anyone that abuses an animal has issues.

>What do you think about people who care alot about animals? Would you shrug off someone defending a shaking dog as an emotional nutcase?
Seems fine to me. All of my pets have been adopted, so some of them had their own issues such as anxiety with crowds, or the gender that previously abused them.
>>
>>16722281
damn i feel for you, that's really harsh, what a douchebag :/

>>16722263
i don't think i have a "worst" rejection story, it always was the same, putting me in the friendzone "i prefer we stay friends" "i like you but not like that" "you're not my type" stuff like this, i never met someone really mean towards me.
>>
>>16722281
Damn man. At least you dodged that bullet.

>>16722263
It doesnt quite count as rejection, but I chased a girl for a good while. Every time we started getting serious, she'd back off for a while. Then she'd pop back up, get intimate, and the process repeated itself. I later found out she was oscillating between me and a friend, and only I was in the dark.
>>
>>16722470
Hey, thanks for the answers. I'm so retarded. Haha. Um... If I could ask one more, though.... What would you do if your fiance was abusing your dog basically every day?
>>
Hi /adv/ i'm 30. I need help.
Skip to bottom if tl:dr.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
I'm old and brave enough to not be too concerned by my look, i'll present myself well when I need to

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Again, i'm old and brave enough to ignore this if I have to

>I like someone. What do I do?
I... honestly... don't really know what asking somone out means- could someone give me examples of how you ask this as a queestion, I know it's pathetic, but I just don't /know/ how to ask this question, or what is appropriate.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
The way I see it, I could meet someon anywhere, shopping mall, workplace, anywhere, any situation, casual or formal

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
I'm not 100% OCD, I only crave this information when I've been in a situation where I think someone has liked me and havent known what to do or say to extend my feelings and desires to them

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
I've never even been this far

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
I'm fairly thick skinned, sometimes I might detect a slight against me, I never let it affect me, I roll with it

>Would you date a virgin?
I would, I basically am one, excluding an encounter with aprostitute 5 years ago out of sheer desperation, and some mild petting since

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
Never been this far


>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
I don't know, I don't know what is expected, normal, wanted, I'm lost

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
Uh..?

tl:dr - I'm a 30 yo straight male, I dont have the first fucking clue about dating or how to appropriately show attraction to a woman.

Please Help?!?
>>
>>16722520
I wouldn't have a fiance after the first day.

Get married and I guarantee they'll hit you next.
>>
>>16722520
that would be an extremely redflag and a source of conflict, i don't think i'd stay with someone who bully my pets.
You're not forced to like them, but hitting them or abusing them is just a huge no.
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>>16722520
>What would you do if your fiance was abusing your dog basically every day?
Fucking dump them jesus christ. I'm concerned that you are asking this to begin with.

I don't give two shits if they don't care for my animals, but if some woman abused them I'd toss her down the river.
>>
>>16722534
I can't stop fucking crying right now lol
We've been in a relationship for four years, our wedding's in three months, down payments on everything, invitations sent, I love the fuck out if him. I don't know what to do. I'm so ugly there's no way I could get another boyfriend. He keeps telling me I'm being irrational. I don't know. I might be. But when I see our nine month old puppy we decided to adopt together shivering, peeing on the floor, ears back I just fucking get scared. And I ask him to stop and he's not even doing anything that bad, just like pulling on her face too hard and she whimpers, and he asks me why and I say because he's scaring our dog and he calls her a bitch for being whimpy and crying and then he gets more mad and will flip her around and pat her tummy really hard over and over and flip her upsidedown and squish her hard and I don't know. Half of me tells me I'm seriously overreacting and half of me tells me I fucking should not be okay with this. I just suck at fucking everything. I don't know how to fight with him..... I just really don't even know if it's that bad. My dog has never been injured or anything. I seriously don't know if I'm overreacting or not. Sorry...... Thanks for any advice, though. I really will acknowledge and seriously consider it no matter how hard or whatever.... I really don't know what to do.
>>
>>16722597
This dude has "abusive relationship" written all over him. You might benefit from making your own thread.
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>>16722531
Have you tried dating sites? I think it would honestly be a super affective means for you. You seem like a cool person, though.
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>>16722611
Sorry, I didn't want to make a big deal, just wanted to get some feedback...
Do you think I could maybe give him an ultimatum like "stop being mean to our dog or I'm done with you" and then just really be serious about it. Like if he hurts her again I'll just fucking leave?
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>>16722597
This guy sounds like an abusive nutcase. He's not doing anything beneficial for the dog, and has no business raising one. It starts off with your animals and ends up with you and your children in the hospital.

>I'm so ugly there's no way I could get another boyfriend. He keeps telling me I'm being irrational.
You sound like my mother when she was being abused by my biological father. He had ways of putting her down and breaking her self-esteem, while still seeming like the good guy, so that she would feel privileged staying with him. She's truly a beautiful person, inside and out, and finally got out. You're selling yourself short.
>>
>>16722620

I havent tried dating sites, and thanks. I have a friend wh ohas tried dating sites... he, without being "rude" is way more socially awkward than me, and he has never got anything from them.

I'm open to the idea... but I view the internet through pre- 2000 eyes, in that I protect my anonymity and the idea of putting myself "out there" on a dating site is fundamentally contradictory to that- not that I won't do it, if that is really the way to go, even so, I want to know what the "real" way of asking a woman "out" that I find attractive is.... (?)
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>>16722638
>Do you think I could maybe give him an ultimatum like "stop being mean to our dog or I'm done with you" and then just really be serious about it. Like if he hurts her again I'll just fucking leave?
He'll either treat it as a joke or do it behind your back. Something is fundamentally wrong with him.
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>>16722638
No. It isn't something he decides to do. It's in his nature. Millions of women have died convinced guys like this can change. They don't.
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>>16722638

To clarify a bit...

If I find a woman attractive... do I "say anything" to her to strike up conversation... literally "anything"- and see where it goes? Maybe we have a fun conversation, maybe its boring as fuck... and then, if i'm still interested, do I - ask to spend more time with her? or ask for her phone number, or.... ? I just don't really know what I should say, to show that I want to get to know her?

I just fall blank a tthis point- l feel as awkard as probably she does, so I just "behave like a man" and [ignore and walk away] if that makes sense :/ - it probably seems like i'm an arse but, thats what I do because I simply don't know what to do?
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>>16722650
>>16722654
>>16722655

What is the reason I tell people I broke it off? He's never hit me.... Who do I start with. I'm so scared... I really don't know what to do.... Would it be weird if I called a friend about this? I'm really really bad with emotions and I've never had so many before.... Thanks to you all, though.... You're being so nice to me.....
>>
>>16722696
You are definitely on the right track. Don't be cocky or anything, just be nice, ask for her number if you like her and if she says no, don't fret!!! She wasn't worth your time and just count it as practice. I wouldn't go right to the next girl you have your eye on, though, if you're at a bar or whatever. Be careful about it.
If she does give you her number, than that's awesome. Text her back in a couple days and ask her if she's free to go get coffee or dinner that week. That way you can get to know each other a little better.
>>
>>16722697
>What is the reason I tell people I broke it off?
You don't have to tell people, unless you really want to. Maybe keep it to close friends and family, saying that you were noticing some clear signs of abuse. If you go blabbing this to everyone, instead of saying it was a personal issue, then he'll do what he can to hurt you and turn this around on you.
>>
>>16722697
"Things just weren't going to work out" will suffice 95% of the time, and if anyone pushes you on it you can just tell them to fuck off if you don't want to disclose it.

Talking to a friend is a good place to start. Don't drag things out. You're going to need to be ready to be completely out of his life in 1-2 weeks, possibly sooner if he snaps and turns violent. Asking a large male friend or two to help you pack and move out would be prudent.
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Hey /adv/ Femanons.

I'll try and keep the story short.

A girl in my group of friends at uni that I hang out with gave me her number. I never texted her because I had a gf at the time. I haven't ACTUALLY hung out with her since we went on a run together a few months back before winter break. We've been asking eachother questions on Kiwi, and liking eachother's answers. I'm thinking of asking her out once I get back on Campus, but I don't want it to seem weird, and out of the blue.

Here's the longwinded question:
Should I try texting her out of the blue while we're still on break and just ask her out when I'm back OR should I casually bring up how we should hang out more, and we've never texted even though she gave me her number. The other alternative is to wait for Valentines day and do the whole confess your feelings mushy crap. Would that be a good idea femanons?

>Pic related I make up most of her likes on this app
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>>16722760
>Should I try texting her out of the blue while we're still on break and just ask her out when I'm back OR should I casually bring up how we should hang out more, and we've never texted even though she gave me her number. The other alternative is to wait for Valentines day and do the whole confess your feelings mushy crap. Would that be a good idea femanons?
Wait until after break, but casually start texting her until then. If you wait until Valentine's Day for a confession, that could go very badly.
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>>16722728
>>16722732
Thanks so much! Here's a picture of my dog. :)
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I'm pretty sure this one girl likes me and I definitely like her, so how the fuck do I ask her out?

When is a good time/place to ask a girl out, and where do you ask her out to for a first date?

Pls help am 19 and relationshipless/kissless
>>
>>16722721

Thanks anon, I can deal with the rejection, I just find the whole 'askinf for number' thing weird.

I've seen dating guides etc that say to create an "excuse" for the number, with cheesey shit like "oh i'm having a bbq this weekend..." - and that shti really puts me off.

Is it ok to simply say something like "this was fun, can I get your number so we can continue?" - this is what I really don't ge thow to word, in a non-creepy non-"text book" lie kind of way...
>>
>>16722770
Thanks Anon. That's what I was thinking. Even though I have an Ex I wasn't the one that asked her out or texted first.
>>
>>16722779
>so how the fuck do I ask her out?
Just start hanging out one and one let things naturally progress. If it feels right, ask her if she'd like to be exclusive.

>When is a good time/place to ask a girl out, and where do you ask her out to for a first date?
Time and place doesn't really matter, only how you two feel. It's the type of situation that you have to feel out, because you could potentially ruin a good friendship or future relationship by rushing and scaring her off.

As for a first date, depends on what you two like. For the first few dates, my guy and I just went on long walks, to the bookstore, to a coffee shop, and then just hung out at my place for a movie night. A movie might seem like a good idea, but there's very little social interaction--make sure you take her to dinner after.
>>
>>16722789
Hm.... I think if you're hitting it off I would word it more like: "I've really enjoyed talking with you tonight. Could I get your number?" Simple as that.
>>
Is it too soon to let a girl know you like her after hanging out with her for a month?
>>
>>16722827
Might be too late.
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>>16722776
Sleep tight, pupper.
>>
>>16722827
See
>>16722760
>>16722770

It's honestly only too late if they've started talking to someone else.
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>>16722776
You've got a really cute pupperoni. You sound like a really good furmom, so I wish you and your furbaby the best. You'll move on eventually.
>>
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Question for the femanons

>Meet REALLY shy girl at school
>Things go well
>Admit we like each other
>Getting together is tough because she's still in school and I work. She has school/team captain/work/strict parents
>This goes on for about 5 months
>Go on a few dates inbetween casual get togethers
>Two week period where she stops replying to my messages, and if she does it's days after the fact.
>Happens out of nowhere really
>Tell her if she's lost interest, to just tell me and no hard feelings
>Her text
>Mentions how I'm a great guy and she wants to try to make it work
>Week later, passive aggresively blow up at her, basically saying that if she cared about the idea of us enough, she'd make time, as that's all I've been doing for her, is moving my schedule around to try and make it work.
>No response

It's been a month and a half since then. I feel bad about acting like a dick about things. I don't intend on starting things up with her again, even if she felt the same, because I'll be leaving in 4 months for college. But I feel like this will keep bugging me if I don't apologize, just tell her honestly that I thought she was brushing me off, and was sorry for acting like an asshole. (Will explicitly say that I'm not saying this in hopes of getting back together, just wanted to apologize)

If you were the girl, and if he apologized, would you feel it was inappropriate after all this time?
>>
>>16722200
Yes
Nice dubs
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>>16722809
Thanks!
I really struggle with this, I don't know why, I suppose I find it an "unnatural step" - I guess I hate phones and their intrusiveness personaly, so I (yeah I know its 'weird) find it hard to ask for soemthing I sort of hate myself.

Its just alien to me?

I dunno, I think i'm just too caveman for all of this shit, I just want to meet a girl and take her back to my figurative cave, rather than use weird ass alien-future-tech to contact her 2 days later or whatever. I get that everyone is attatched to their phone, but... I find it horrible, I want to spend time with someone I like in person.
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>>16722867
I'm a man, but. I feel it would be right to seek "closure" on it.

you explain why you blew up, you explain the reasons why (you like her)- she either accepts your reasoning or doesn't, and returns affection or doesn't- regardless you get closure as to whether she likes you and wants something more, or not.
>>
is going to a hooker to lose virg a good idea? i feel like its supposed to be special and whatever, and ill always be stuck with this depressing memory that i had to pay for something normal people get for free, that is in itself an expression of positive sentiment but all i got was a hollow facade of that

on the other hand i hate being such a loser so maybe its best to just move up in the world a little bit?
>>
>>16722867
>If you were the girl, and if he apologized, would you feel it was inappropriate after all this time?
I wouldn't feel like it was inappropriate, but I wouldn't respond. What's done is done.
>>
>>16722937
Losing your virginity to a hooker does not move you up in the world in any way
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>>16722937
>is going to a hooker to lose virg a good idea?
Maybe if you're 40+ years old. If you ever want a serious relationship with someone, most people will look down on you. You also run the risk of running to prostitutes whenever you have bad luck with women, and not only is that not safe (depending on where you live), but it can socially and emotionally stunt you. Why grow and better yourself when you can just buy it?
>>
>>16722949
well at least id be able to look someone in the face and say im not a virgin, thats something at least

>>16722954
right that was my thinking, but the problem is ive been 'bettering' myself for years and years and its still not good enough. ive reached the limit or something
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>>16722968
>well at least id be able to look someone in the face and say im not a virgin, thats something at least
Not really. I'd rather date a virgin, and have him lose it to me, than date someone that buys prostitutes.

>the problem is ive been 'bettering' myself for years and years and its still not good enough
What steps have you taken?

>ive reached the limit or something
In what way? You may just need to change your direction.
>>
>>16722978
you say that but ive been on this board long enough, i know girls dont like virgin guys my age (23), and i dont even dispute the reasons why you wouldnt like it, i think theyre totally valid

i have done this
- very well paying job
- do not live with my parents
- fit
- have hobbies (shit hobbies for meeting girls but i do)
- dress like an adult
- i might remember other stuff as it comes up

the limit thing is like, whatever else i change now is not going to be a massive thing and it hasnt worked for me so far. whatever i do still doesnt get me a gf, so its like what more can i do
>>
>>16723013
>i know girls dont like virgin guys my age (23)
Don't generalize. While it can be a red flag, some people will ignore it if you're an otherwise well adjusted person. You can also just not mention it and not make it a thing, if you're that worried. A lot of virgins in your shoes get into relationships and carry their past virginhood to the grave.

>i have done this
>- very well paying job
>- do not live with my parents
>- fit
>- have hobbies (shit hobbies for meeting girls but i do)
>- dress like an adult
>- i might remember other stuff as it comes up

I think all you have left to work on is your social life and your personality, because getting so down and giving up isn't attractive. Other people probably see this too. Don't neglect those aspects of your life, because they're probably the most important.
>>
>>16723033
sure, i just think it will be pretty easy to tell that its my first dance when the time comes

the problem is i didnt used to be so down. but ive never had a gf or even a girl tell me they liked something about me, ever. and when i tried like actively trying to get one starting from about 3 years ago i was fine, enthusiastic, chipper fucking larry but after getting explicitly rejected by i dunno, at least 800 girls (inc online dating) i am just some worn down. this is what about the limit, i have tried and tried for so long but i get nothing, and most people can just do it naturally. its hard to be positive about a situation when you never win, you know?
>>
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>>16723013
>>16722978
>>16722968
>>16722949
>>16722937

30 m.

Lose ot to a prostiture at 25.

You gain nothing - except - the personal awareness that you are no longer a virgin - this is as important as you consider it to be.

I have not had sex since, i've had sexual experiences (non intercorouse) with girls since this happened - for me, personally, losing my virginity, i.e NOT BEING A TOTAL FUCKING NOOB has been beneficical, in as much that I know that I have atleast "had sex" - i physically and mentally know what it actually is, as opposed to my opinion on it being based entirely on porn and idealism.

Sex is good.
Sex with a prostitute is distinctly underwhelming.
By most accounts first time sex is distinctly underwhelming.

Getting your "V-plate" cleared - FOR ME - priceless.

HOWEVER - do not become like me, sexless for the next 5 years through lack of understanding and or motivation.

Having sex with a hooker will show you as a person, what sex actually is, in the shittest form possible, not only have you paid for it, but you've probably had a dull un-loving experience.... BUT-
Atleast you've had sex, right? - and now you know what it is, and you have an idea of what it COULD be like, with someone who WANTS sex with you.

So now that you have an understanding of how pleasurable it is, despite it being bought, and lack-lustre- imagine how it COULD be with someone who is willing to learn and explore WITH YOU, on a PERSONAL LEVEL.

Sex could be the BEST thing in your life, if you experience it with the RIGHT PERSON.

It is not all about the sex. It is about the INTIMACY you could have with anotehr human being. The pleasure you could derive from one another, and the exploration aand excitement you could have with someone who is right for you.

/not that i've ever found anyone to fuck since. But i'm lazy and pathetic, and I just wish I could share myself with another,
>>
Guys,
>Would you get tired of having your dick sucked 2 or 3 times a day? Say you're with a girl most days out of a week.
>If you told a girl you're not looking for a relationship right now, would you be willing to keep her around until you were? Would her doing girlfriend stuff (cooking, housekeeping, sex etc.) make much difference?
>>
women:

can you recall any examples of someone flirting with you very successfully? I'm trying to improve
>>
>>16723084
No. It only becomes painful around 5-7 times a day if your dick won't clear their teeth completely, but you don't need all your dickskin to get it sucked.

Personally, no. I only do actual relationships or nothing at all.
>>
Women, if we were at a social gathering with friends, and friends of friends, what could I do apart from gazing at you, entice you to chat with me?
>>
>>16723100
Approach me and strike up conversation. Staring is fucking creepy, btw
>>
>>16723100
>what could I do apart from gazing at you, entice you to chat with me?
Looking at someone the entire time is just creepy. Don't do that. Instead, go up and start a conversation. I'm usually the one that has to do all the work, when it comes to initiating, in the first place, and so that "I'm just going to hang out over here and stare at you until you say something" behavior is just really off putting. If it's an occasional smile/glance, then that's a totally different thing. If you want something, you have to put more effort into getting it.
>>
>>16723089
>can you recall any examples of someone flirting with you very successfully? I'm trying to improve
Not anything specific, but if someone is playfully rude/distant. Don't say anything that hits below the belt.
>>
>>16722937
I wouldnt go for it. It wouldnt really solve any of the reasons you're a virgin to begin with.

>>16723084
>Would you get tired of having your dick sucked 2 or 3 times a day
Don't see why I would.

>If you told a girl you're not looking for a relationship right now, would you be willing to keep her around until you were? Would her doing girlfriend stuff (cooking, housekeeping, sex etc.) make much difference?
That sounds like a really bad idea. The reasons someone may not be interested are innumerable, you should just try to find someone who feels the same way.
>>
>>16721653
How do you get with a virgin?
>>
>>16723111
>>16723112

(i'm honestly not trying to be adversary)

So, what your'e saying is, I notice you, I smile and look at you once.

Now to continue anything, the next steap has to be that I come and talk to you?

What about when, we're a group of 10+ people, you are sitting, far away fro mme, there are no seats/chairs left wherever we are, i.e its physically very difficult for me to get close to you to talk, without being straight up creepy an draggin my chair to you and siddling up next to you, what do I do?

Also: That first glance, smile, if you reciprocated wit ha smile and eye contact- does that mean you would like to talk? or are you just being "friendly" ?

Please ladies, i'm not being a perve/creep I just want to learn.
>>
>>16723169

You're. Dat grammar doh. :|
>>
>>16723169
This isn't something we can guide you through. Just try to get close to her, and failing that, add her of Facebook or something
>>
Do women really talk to each other about guys they're interested in? The whole idea always seemed odd to me, my guy friends and I rarely discuss that kind of stuff.
>>
>>16723183
Sometimes. I'm fairly certain men do it too with girls they're interested in and you and your friends are the odd ones, to be honest
>>
>>16723179

Alright, fine. I despire facebook.

But what you're saying is, if I can't get physical proximity and have a nice chat, the nits ok for me to add you?
>>
>>16723084
>Would you get tired of having your dick sucked 2-3 times a day
Coming from someone that comes like three times in a week yes.
>>
>>16723194
Yep. As long as you actually have something to say to her, that is. Don't just start with "hi"
>>
>>16723183
I assume you're a guy.
Me an my guy's never, ever discuss girls we're into. We MIGHT discuss girls we thought were into us, IF we had no chance of getting with them, the time has past, we won't see them again, etc.
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>>16723199

Ok, and what would be acceptable to say?

For instance, what I would like to say:

"Hi, I noticed you at YZ last night, and I thought you looked beutiful, I wish we could have chatted about XYZ[something relevant I noticed her inviolved in a discussion about], would you be interested in. taking some more?"

Is something like that, like, right to open up with?
>>
>>16723139
>That sounds like a really bad idea. The reasons someone may not be interested are innumerable, you should just try to find someone who feels the same way.

Afaik the only reason is he's just wanting to do his own thing for now before he thinks about finding someone. We've been friends for a couple months now but we've only spent real time together these past 3~ weeks. He seems okay with me hanging out and says he likes the intimacy but still isn't giving me direct answers, idk.
>>
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>be 23
>only had sex once
>meet an ex model 30 years old
>used to work behind the scenes of porn sets
>used to do nude pics
>is into crazy kink
>wants to fuck me tomorrow
She's an amazing chick and we have fun together but I'm afraid my lack of experience will fuck me over plus I'm average as well so I'm a bit intimidated
Women, men what the fuck do I do in this situation?
>>
>>16723212
"talking" not "taking" :| fuck my typing.
>>
>>16723190
>>16723201
I agree with this guy; only girls we had no chance with, and in a very physical way. We would discuss what teachers or celebrities we would fuck, but we would never say which girls we actually liked. You keep those cards close to your chest.
>>
>>16723212
Started off good, then it's like you decided to jump off a cliff. Just something simple like "hey, I overheard you talking about <subject>, I'm pretty interested in <subject too>. What's your favourite <something related to that subject>?"
>>
>>16723183
I've never done that
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>>16723254
So... its ok to throw a compliment, and then ask about <subject> ? - I honestly don't know if complimenting is good or bad, and to extend that, if complmenting about "beauty" is good ro bad - I want to show that I'm interested not only in the topic of conversation, but also "something" about the girl (which might be how she looks, or ... something deeper, could jsut be mannerisms, or her laugh, or something intagible like how she responded when something happened, etc, I just don't know ho to properly articulate that, I want to show my appreciation/interest, I don't want to be a creep)
>>
>>16723271
No, no compliment. If you want to show interest, ask her out.
>>
>>16723262
How do women talk about guys then?
>>
>>16723275
Ok. So to me, something like:
"Hey, I was interested in what yo usaid about <subject>, wanna talk more over coffeee?"
- that sounds straight up weird to me?
how would I say something simple like that, without it being odd?

(also captcha was coffee :/)
>>
>>16723285
No, now you're getting ahead of yourself. Start a conversation about whatever that topic is, and if it's going well, THEN ask her for coffee or whatever
>>
>>16723290
Ok, okay.

So.

for instance,

"Hey, I overheard you talking about <subject>, i like <subject xyz>, what about you>" - conversation follows.

It seems like a good conversation.

So now I want to ask her out.

And to me it seems weird to say: "oh that was a great conversation want to meet for coffee?

<- how would I say that bit, without it being weird as fuck?

Something like: "Now that I know you like <xyz subject> would you like to talk about <abc subject> over coffee?"

Is something like that decent?

(also, thankyou, alot for entertaining me with this, like I genuinely don't get whats sort of right, I'm to used to talkign wiht my male friends, where effectively we troll each other etc because we've known each other for so long, nothing we say to each other has one meaning unless we are VERY direct about it- much as I would love to be VERY DIRECT with a woman, i don't think it would go down well)
>>
>>16723311
No, just say something like "would you like to get coffee sometime?" when there's a lull in the conversation.

And honestly, I'm beginning to lose patience. This is exactly what I meant when I said that we can't walk you through this.
>>
>>16723326
Alright, alright. Don't walk me through it.

What I want is to understand the "idea behind it" - which I think you've put across.

All of it should be 'natural'.

If i'm asking to see her in person it should flow naturally, when we have built some kind of rapor, through conversation about mutual interest, then it should naturally lead to meeting up and talking. I get that. I just, needed to hear (read) how it is worded, because I think i'm too verbose and *thinking* that I would normally jump the gun or say it weirdly.
>>
>>16723364
>>16723326

Let me ask one thing though....

When is a compliment desired/acceptable...?
>>
>>16723169
>Now to continue anything, the next steap has to be that I come and talk to you?
If you're interested, yes.

>What about when, we're a group of 10+ people, you are sitting, far away fro mme, there are no seats/chairs left wherever we are, i.e its physically very difficult for me to get close to you to talk, without being straight up creepy an draggin my chair to you and siddling up next to you, what do I do?
Wait until they get up to do something. Or, if you know someone else in that group, go sit by them and be chatty. It'll give you a bigger window of opportunity.

>Also: That first glance, smile, if you reciprocated wit ha smile and eye contact- does that mean you would like to talk? or are you just being "friendly" ?
In most cases, unless the gaze is huge and eyes are locked, it's just being friendly. But friendly can still get you somewhere, as long as you know when to back off.
>>
>>16723183
>Do women really talk to each other about guys they're interested in?
Sometimes. I didn't do it, aside from letting people close to me know that I liked someone, because it's not their business. I see threads all the town where guys complain about girlfriends talking to their friends about ex boyfriends, penis size, etc. and that just seems so strange to me. I've never done that and I've never had a female friend do that. At most, I have private conversations where I talk friends through simple relationship troubles and misunderstandings. That's it. I guess it all depends on the type of woman you're talking about.
>>
>>16723243
>Women, men what the fuck do I do in this situation?
Just go for it. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, just take it for the experience it is and move on.
>>
>>16723370
>When is a compliment desired/acceptable...?
Some girls like it, but they're usually a bit too into themselves. Generally, I don't like compliments unless I know someone for a while, and even then, I prefer compliments about things I've done/do over things I have no control over (like appearance). Save the latter for dating. If she is interested, you want to get across that you like her as a person, and not just her looks.
>>
>>16723371
>unless the gaze is huge and eyes are locked
When it is this....
How does she feel, when ?I basically ignore her (intentionally ,because I don't knoiw how to proceed) for the rest of the night?

And if you don't mind, what should I be doing? (I assume making all effort to talk to her)
>>
>>16723389
Ok, thanks a lot.

I'm never just into a girl for her appearance, sure it is a factor, but its way less important to me than her interests, behaviour and personality... I just feel there's a need to say something nice? to make her feel special? so that she knows i appreciate her, and ofcourse it would be better that that comes through complimenting her personality, ideas, rather than (her subjectuive attractiveness) that i find interesting, but.... often there isn't anything else immediate to say- so perhaps I shouldn't say anythign in that regard.

->Better to have an interesting conversation.
>>
>>16723395
>How does she feel, when ?
I can't really say. But in those situations, when I notice a guy is smiling and looking at me, I do the same back. It's just a nice feeling, in general, but not something you can put into words. At the very least, it means she isn't terrified of you.

>I basically ignore her (intentionally ,because I don't knoiw how to proceed) for the rest of the night?
Find a natural way to approach her and start talking. If she's friendly, be friendly back. If she's distant, distance yourself.
>>
>>16723410
>I just feel there's a need to say something nice? to make her feel special?
She doesn't need to hear that from you, at least not so early on. You can make her feel special by just being friendly and showing that you like talking to her... by talking to her.

>but.... often there isn't anything else immediate to say- so perhaps I shouldn't say anythign in that regard.
->Better to have an interesting conversation.
Right, you've got it.
>>
So, a girl on a prom wants to dance only with me, and drinks with me, but at the end, when I wanted to ask her out someday, she was much more "no", than "yes". Just tell me, why? She probably "no" definitely, but she didn't want to hurt me or something.
>>
>>16723448
Doing those things with you just means that she trusts you and you make her feel comfortable. That doesn't mean she's interested in dating you.
>>
>>16723463
Kinda fucked up, isn't it?
>>
>>16723448
she's a lesbian and you're her cover boy
>>
I'm 21 and I asked this really cute girl out a few months ago who works in a shop near where I work. She was really sweet when she turned me down, saying that she was seeing someone already. I have no mutual friends with her and no way of really knowing if she is still in a relationship.

Any tips on how I could strike up a conversation with her without looking lick a home-wrecker would be much appreciated.
>>
>>16723471
Why? You're friends, right? She's treating you like one. If you don't want to stay friends, then you don't have to.
>>
>>16723463
Also is there a way I can make her be interested in me? Looks like I'm halfway to it.
>>
>>16723433
>>16723425


This is interesting to me...
I've been accused in the past, of "giving the evils" - I think I know what this means.

Equally I've had instances wher a girl who i've later become very good friends with, tells me that when we initially met she though I wanted to 'kill' her- i.e I was giving her the evils again.

I get it, I was staring in a sort of emotionless way at her (because I was both trying not to stare, and also interested, and shamefully showin no emotion) [its weird huh?] - but I've got much better at NOT DOING THIS.

This point though... women being "terrified"- I am kinda 2masculine" looking, i don't think im ugly, but, im sort of slightly neanderthan i guess, big brow, face that could be mean. I think it scares women? I find this really quite upsetting, cause i'm super gentle, but I think people are afraid of me? I dunno :<. Its nice to be able to talk about it :> - But I think I intimidate people.

I don't mean to. I'm stocky, and yeah, kinda intimidating look :/ And.... I get the impression that women especiallly are slightly put off by me, I notice that... when I "get that gaze into eyes thing" I don't know how to reciprocate properly, and then they are scared of me? - equally I notice them looking at me when I'm with friends and were all chatting and laughing, the (the girl) will be looking at me, and I can never really get that kind of response when I'm looking back at them?

Hrrrrrrr.

tl:dr= I think I intimidate girls, when really all I want is to show that theyre part of my "pack" f thats how you would call it. Usually they open up to me later as friends, I cause the same effect with guys/ friends of my frirends etc. Its hard :/
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>>16723482
>Also is there a way I can make her be interested in me? Looks like I'm halfway to it.
You can't make someone feel something. If she likes you, she'll be receptive to dating.
>>
>>16723483
>This point though... women being "terrified"- I am kinda 2masculine" looking, i don't think im ugly, but, im sort of slightly neanderthan i guess, big brow, face that could be mean. I think it scares women? I find this really quite upsetting, cause i'm super gentle, but I think people are afraid of me? I dunno :<. Its nice to be able to talk about it :> - But I think I intimidate people.
If you're friendly, and you don't have a bad case of "resting bitch face" (which is fixable, you just have to be active about it), then you don't have to worry too much about intimidation. Just be polite and friendly, but keep your physical distance so that she doesn't feel overwhelmed or crowded.

>I don't mean to. I'm stocky, and yeah, kinda intimidating look :/ And.... I get the impression that women especiallly are slightly put off by me, I notice that... when I "get that gaze into eyes thing" I don't know how to reciprocate properly, and then they are scared of me? - equally I notice them looking at me when I'm with friends and were all chatting and laughing, the (the girl) will be looking at me, and I can never really get that kind of response when I'm looking back at them?
Yeah, it sounds like you naturally have resting bitch face, but it goes away when you're in a comfortable, happy setting around friends. I'm a female with that problem, and people around me always seem to think I'm miserable, angry or really tired. So I try to open my eyes a bit more and have a natural smile on my lips, especially when I at work. It really helps.
>>
>>16723516
people around me always seem to think I'm miserable, angry or really tired. So I try to open my eyes a bit more and have a natural smile on my lips, especially when I at work. It really helps.

This, so much this. So, I just have to force wide opened, smiley face? - I look unnatural as fuck (i think) when doing this?
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>>16723527
>So, I just have to force wide opened, smiley face? - I look unnatural as fuck (i think) when doing this?
You look and feel unnatural because you're not used to seeing it. Don't open your eyes too wide, either--I made this mistake when I first started doing it, which made my eyes water, and my coworker asked me if everything was okay because she thought I was crying. lol I've gotten much better at it, with time, and now I attract more people.

It helps if you lift your eyebrows just a little bit. The next time you find yourself around friends, having a good time, take note of your mannerisms, body language, and the faces you make. Try to copy that later on.
>>
I asked her if everything is cool (We had a falling out,where she lost her mind because i told her a bad joke). She said she was cold. What did she mean by this,telling me she was cold?
>>
>>16723562
>Well, I'm not so sure about that, maybe she wanted to say no, but she is unsure about her feelings, I don't know but what if this guy was the first guy who asked her out. Maybe her feelings will change over time. What do you think?
>>
>>16723569
>>16723481
>>
>>16723568
Cold (adjective): the opposite of warm, lack of heat

She's probably got the heater off anon
>>
>>16723575
Are you serious, Is your imagination that fuckin flat?
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>>16723568
She was cold
>>
>>16723575
>>16723582
I guess no one has ever hit on you. I mean come on. If a girl gives you the time a day,shes going to insinuate something.
>>
so I've found out that my girl thinks I love her cause I remind her of some ex of mine that I used to love way too much
She doesn't know about the ex, nor did I have an ex that I used to love too much. How do I prove it to her somehow that this isn't the truth? It hurts me.
>>
>>16723593
> no has ever hit on you
Your goddamn right
>>
>>16723604
sorry
>she reminds me of some ex of mine*
>>
>>16723605
Why not femanon. Youre a femanon?
>>
>>16723614
Nope, male
>>
>>16723481
>Why? You're friends, right?
At least where I'm from you don't dance with "just a friend" at prom night. Sounds rather weird to me.
>>
Girls

we put an 'x' at the end of our last message to each other before sleep

now it's 'xx'

does it mean anything?
>>
Girls and dudes, would you reject a person who doesn't drink alcohol?

I know drinking alcohol is an extreme social norm and all, but I refuse to drink alcohol for various reasons, mostly health related reasons.
>>
>>16723725
>would you reject a person who doesn't drink alcohol?
Not really. I have a high tolerance so I usually just get something non alcoholic. I don't like talking to drunk people anyways.

>mostly health related reasons.
Plus this is about as valid a reason as you'll ever get.
>>
>>16723725
No. I also don't drink Alcohol. Caffeine either. I'm not some health nut I just don't like alcohol, and lost a friend to caffeine a few years ago.
>>
>>16721313
Guys how do you know if a guy really loves you or is just lying and wanting sex?

Do people even really lie about that it seems immoral i just can't see how they could do it and not feel terrible
>>
>>16723798
I can't imagine lying to get sex, but the guys that do have put it down to an art form so the number of tells are very few. The guys who want you only for sex will keep bringing up sex and pressuring you to have it. If the guy really loves you he will stay with you for quite some time without sex, and generally will not pressure you to have it.
>>
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>>16723798
>Can people really lie just to get sex and not feel guilty?
>mfw

Your question though. It's easy. Someone that loves you won't pressure you into doing something you aren't comfortable with, and would never use phrases like "What you don't love me?" or "If you don't we're breaking up." or my personal favorite the threatening self harm or suicide.

God my Ex was a manipulative witch.
>>
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How do women feel about being checked out by random guys?

Usually i would check a girl out until she looked at my direction, then i quickly moved my sight somewhere else but lately i've stopped giving a fuck and if i see a girl i deem attractive passing by i check her out from toe to head even if she sees i'm doing it.
>>
>>16723842
Staring is fucking uncomfortable whether the chick doing it is Hot or Not. Why wouldn't it be the same for girls?
>>
>>16723842
it's a thin line between flirty and creepy.

inb4 anons crying about being creeps because they are ugly
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>>16723842
me too, I cringe at my self straight after though...god its awful to be a man
>>
>>16721313
Is it possible for a guy and girl to chat every day onlinefor months (they never met before irl) and they develop feelings for each other? Is vice versa also possible?
>>
>>16723876
Bump
>>
I'm going to make this joke, because I feel like it here. I hope they make an Onion Article out of this. Hopefully I get laugh out of this. It's meant to be hilarious.

"Papa, I can't help it!"

"NO SON OF MY IS GOING TO BE A HETEROSEXUAL IN MY FAMILY!"

"But papa!"

"No you are a nice attractive high funcitoning autistic! AND YOU AREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE EXPERIMENTING WITH THE DRAWINGS BOY!"

"But I can't help it! I couldn't even get close to the tran stuff or the gay stuff. Maybe with tran once, but I can't help it! And I only did that so that I could fit in with the girls to get with one of them!"

"NO SON OF MINE IS GOING TO TALK WITH THAT LANGUAGE IN THIS HOUSE BILLY DO YOU HAVE ANY GOSH DARN REASON WHAT GAYNESS OUR FAMILY IS MADE OF?!"

"No..."

"Okay, look at your two brothers Billy! Both are gay as a damn circle. Now I don't know what is up with Jackie since he tells his men to wear a wig and he claims to be straight, but STILL IS 100% GAY. I don't know what is up with you Billy."

"Well I just focused so much on the attractiveness of the herm drawings of the ladies and couldn't help but dwelve into ladies and more ladies and all of my time I asked out ladies."

"WELL YOU WAS TO BE IN THAT DRAMA CLASS FO-"

"I couldn't help it! There was this one girl who I thought was just so hot! And she was old-"

"Son.... I hate to break it to you, but no hetero is into older girls."

"But PAPA! I can't help it! I'm now into lesbian stuff and big breasts, big butts, and everytime I think of girls! I JUST CAN'T HELP THINKING OF GIRLS! I mean you made me so you must be straight right?"

"Son, I'm about as straight as that door knob. I may be married to your mother, but she just went to the clinic while I would be accepted as I cheat on her by going out on the streets as a drag."

"BUT PAPA! I like girls so much!"

"You put make-up on in Drama class!"

"But that was only because the professor told us to! And I was just so transfixed on those girls with gym shorts!"
>>
>>16723243
Relax and enjoy yourself. She sounds like the kind of person who would be comfortable if you say what's on your mind, so don't be afraid to vocalize how you feel in order to make it as enjoyable as possible.
>>
Is it possible for a guy and girl to chat every day onlinefor months (they never met before irl) and they develop feelings for each other? Is vice versa also possible?
>>
>>16724143
Yes, but those feelings don't always translate to real life, so when you do meet up you'll still want to go through the normal dating progression. Having an established rapport makes things a lot easier, though.
>>
>>16723842
>>16723857
>>16723859
>>16723870
Sunglasses on a beach.

>Inb4 sunglasses are banned on beaches
>>
Went across the planet for this one girl I was pretty sure liked me due to our conversations, she invited me and I wanted to go somewhere anyways. Get there, hang out, talk and meet up with her and her friends, eventually just her and I walking around this river in her town. Tried to take things slow and just hold her hand one of the last days there. "I don't know if there's a specific way to do this in XXX culture so I'm just going to do it the American way, so if it's weird then it's too late" then went through with it.
She said it wasn't weird but now she's been all distant in messages and stuff saying she's just busy and my visiting was at a bad time.

Did I misread the signals here or did she change her mind about liking me? We would share things we knew the other liked and joked about keeping each other safe and even liking each other and everything. Even the night I held her hand she hugged me pretty tightly when other nights it would just be quick. I don't really understand.
>>
i tried having sex with my gf, (both virgin) but i failed to stay erect after i put on the condom, and it never came back. she said its fine and its no problem, but i can't shake this feel she is extremely disappointed. how fucked am I?
>>
>>16724028
It's been done
https://youtu.be/WrOdbg2hSWQ
>>
>>16724159
He is from another country. He once commented how I fit his criteria of what an ideal girlfriend should be likepersonalitywise, told me how he read a post about the benefits of dating a girl from my culture, said how he thought it would be cool if I could join his party, etc. But then we talk about all sorts of things besides that. We talk about EVERYTHING, really.
>>
>>16724199
In a similar situation as you but I'm a guy.
My post:>>16724184

Short: yes.
You pretty much are already getting the gist of each other's personalities and everything. The only thing you're missing is whether or not you like them physically or their small nuances offline. But I find it perfectly reasonable as long as you're both being honest with each other.
>>
>>16724199
That's a good foundation, and I hope things work out, but just be prepared for the possibility that the chemistry doesn't happen as you imagine. It's better to take things slower and more carefully.
>>
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both:
how inappropriate is it to be all touchy and kiss in front of your friends?
>>
>>16724235
>>16724251
So you think he already has some feelings for me? We are from different countries though.
>>
>>16724262
It's entirely possible. I have feelings for this girl and I'm in the same situation as you. Only meeting up with him will really help you figure it out though.
Or just confuse you like I am right now.
>>
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How do I make a girl like me on the first date?

I keep getting first dates with girls from online dating but it never goes beyond that. I always get the "I don't see us going anywhere" text the next day.

I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, I manage to keep up a cheerful conversation with them all through the evening.

Well either I get the text or they just ignore me and never contact me again. What am I doing wrong?
>>
>>16724289
we can't possibly know. maybe you aren't doing anything wrong but you just ask out the wrong girls?
>>
>>16724321
So it would seem that ALL girls are the wrong girls. I've seen quite a few. The common factor is me, so I'm wondering what is wrong with me
>>
>>16724331
the common factor might be that you are asking out the same type of girls? give me a short describiton of the girls you went on dates with last.
>age
>education/job
>hobbies
>3 words that describe her personality
>3 words that describe her looks
>>
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Let's say you liked a guy but gave up on him after he failed to ask you out when you wanted him to, a few times. You won't make the effort to text him and you would reject him if he asked you out over text. What would it take for you to regain interest in him?
>>
Any of you dudes/chicks ever been to a blind date?

If so, how was it?
>>
>>16724352
>you would reject him if he asked you out over text.
How do you know?
>>
>>16724188
Did you just end the sex session or did you finger her/eat her out?
>>
>>16724366
Because the last time I saw her she rejected me (albeit really passionately), and I told her to text me when she has the time in that case. She hasn't done so even if it's her prerogative.
>>
>>16724199
>told me how he read a post about the benefits of dating a girl from my culture
What culture are you from and what are the benefits?
>>
>>16724337
>>age
From 23 to 26 (I am 25)
>>education/job
Service sector jobs mostly, one was a sales administrator, one was a copyright underwriter, one was just out of uni and searching for jobs. Normal mid or early 20s girls really.
>>hobbies
I don't really know. Mostly normal, the latest one was into anime and japan and stuff but she was the only one and I only found out about it when we met and I spotted it on her phone. One of the others liked playing the piano but generally most are pretty normal girls that work during the day and go out on friday/saturday nights with friends.
>>3 words that describe her personality
They've all been different.
>>3 words that describe her looks
They've all been different, again.


So as I said, it's me that's the recurring problem here.
>>
>>16724359
No, but I've done speed dating and shed loads of online. How do you find blind dates? Are there websites out there?
>>
>>16724379
I won't say my culture here. It's like an article about how dating a girl from my country opens your eyes to another culture. He only mentioned the name of the article and none of its contents.
>>
>>16724389
well then. what do you think is the problem with you? is there something in your lifestyle, occupation or views that is a turn off for a lot of people?
>>
>>16724406
I don't know. What do guys commonly do wrong? I try to keep in mind that in general I need to not talk about myself a lot so I do ask about them and talk about them just as much. Often my views are strikingly similar to theirs and it's such a shame that they don't feel we "click".

So maybe I just have to keep looking and keep being disappointed. I didn't realise it would take this long, I've been on so many first dates now with so many different girls.
>>
For the femanons:

I have a bad habit of stuttering and pausing a lot during conversations.

Does that fact bother most girls or do they find it cute?
>>
>>16723996
>>16723876
It is.. Happened to me, we dated and eventually broke up and i'm still suffering because of it.
>>
>>16724430
Sometimes it's cute if I can only barely understand you. If I don't understand you at all then it's gonna be awkward.
>>
Quoting myself for possible answers:

>>16724184
>>
>>16724420
i meant in a more general way. do you drink too much, do you smoke weed? do you have ambitions and hobbies? how's your selfesteem?

where do you get to know these girls? fiy online dating sucks big times
>>
>>16724352
>>16724376
So is there no solution? Do I have to give up on everything?
>>
>>16724465
I always drink just as much as the girl does - we take it in turns to buy rounds. I don't do any drugs. I'm actually very well dressed.

No idea about my self esteem - I think it's about normal, but I have no idea how it comes across.

Ambitions and hobbies, yes sort of, but work dominates my life at the moment (army officer in training).

Yeah I've realised online dating sucks balls. I quite like writing so I've written a decent profile that didn't take a lot of effort and they seem to like that. But like I said the hurdle for me is the first date.
>>
>>16723798
>Guys how do you know if a guy really loves you or is just lying and wanting sex?
If you COULD tell there'd be no point in lying. This is a general thing. Every time people tell a lie it has to be at least plausible. In other words, you can never know 100% someone's lying. At least not without other knowledge.

>Do people even really lie about that it seems immoral i just can't see how they could do it and not feel terrible
People lie about shit to get what they want all the time. Even love. Especially love.

>>16723725
No.

>>16723084
>If you told a girl you're not looking for a relationship right now, would you be willing to keep her around until you were? Would her doing girlfriend stuff (cooking, housekeeping, sex etc.) make much difference?
Depends on the reason for saying no in the first place. That shit IS legitimately endearing, but if he feels like he's too occupied with other stuff to have a relationship it wont change anything.
>>
>>16724479
eh, why would you drink alcohol on a date? let alone more than one "round"?

this all sounds very good. i don't see what might be the problem here. is there something you're not telling here?

so, you met all these girls online? i guess here lies the problem. really. if a girl turns to online dating she has issues. so i would say it's safe to assume that you aren't the only "problem".
>>
>>16724502
Why? What's wrong with having a couple of drinks?

> if a girl turns to online dating she has issues. so i would say it's safe to assume that you aren't the only "problem".

Perhaps, but for it to be so consistent - as I said, I've met an awful lot of girls for first dates.
>>
>>16724468
You asked her out, she rejected you. I think everything else in your post is projecting.
>>
>>16724511
it might be ok. depending on the people you are. for me it would be very weird. i'm there to get to know this person, not get drunk. but whatever.

how many? and you met them all online?
i assure you that there's your problem. just fucking quit it. delete those profiles. they are a waste of time. not to mention the money you have already lost on those dates...
this really is a bad way to find decent girls.
>>
>>16724524
That's harsh. She admitted to me that she liked me first, I just rejected her before regretting it afterwards, starting a long process that would end in my rejection. I just can't get over it
>>
>>16722181
> 1
Some are

> 2
33 here. I'd date women in they're early 20's. As long as she's done studying and all that.
>>
>>16723720
I'm a guy and I know this,
>x means kiss
>o means hug

xoxoxoxoxo means kiss, hug, kiss, hug, etc

It means about as much as the difference between hey and heyyyyyy

Which is, probably absolutely nothing
>>
>>16724532
A couple of years ago I actually did have a long term relationship with a girl online. From what I see it's almost all normal people that just want to meet people, because working in a city like London makes it very hard to meet and get to know people.
>>
>>16721408
Literally "Hey", speaking from my experiences I've never gotten anywhere with a girl (at least a girl that wasn't a complete whore and just look for sex 24/7) on a dating app by starting the conversation off with a good one-liner or pick up line.
>>
>>16724641
Why is this so hard to understand? You work on deepening your friendships and create new bonds you can work on. Someday a person that you click with will come along.
>>
Women. if you saw a guy go up to the prettiest girl in the room, hit on her, and get rejected, what would you think of him? Would it affect how attracted you were to him or how you would interact with him later if he talked to you?
>>
>>16724666
Seriously???
I'd turn around and walk away. I don't want to be 1. Second choice 2. Hit on by somebody that clearly hits on everything that walks on two legs and has a vagina
>>
Girls and guys

What is love? (Not the song, but really). What is it? Is love something someone can feel for another after just a few months?

I met a girl a few months ago. We talk everyday. When she messages me, I feel sooo warm inside. I always smile and just feel so content just thinking about her. all I can think about is holding her in my arms and cuddling. I don't even think about sex, I just want to hold her and snuggle. She makes me feel really happy. What are these feelings? I have NEVER felt like this ever before. So I don't know what this is?
>>
>>16724666
if I were attracted to him but he hit on anyone else, i'd immediately lose interest because i'm an insecure wreck
>>
What do you (female) think when a guy asks you out at work?

For me, if someone asks me out at work, it's no biggie. I don't want to make it weird so I politely decline (or accept), and off I go. I asked a female friend and she said she's:

>scared he'll come in again and harass her
>become violent or loud
>wait for her outside until she gets off work
>start stalking her

Is this what women really think or is my friend really paranoid?

I asked a woman out the other day and she was polite about it, I was polite about it, end of story. I hope she doesn't think those things, though, it makes me look like an asshole when it isn't merited.
>>
>see her for the first time
>feels like my heart becomes heavy
>heartrate spikes incredibly
>as if time slows down but my mind can't keep up
>can't think straight

What is this? Is this love? I've never felt this before.
>>
>>16724920
if you saw her for the first time it's attracction or infatuation, not yet love. but feeling like this early on is a good foundation for falling in love.
>>
A question to the fluid gender or neither gender identifiying kins/gens/etc

why is "biological women" a derogative term now?

I try to keep an open mind to anything LGBT and try to keep up with no-go terms, but seeing a vine where an all out gay dude in makeup films himself giving the finger to the camera with the caption "when someone says 'biological woman'" i kind of gave up.
>>
>>16724748
yep. we had a nice thread ybout that a few days ago. basically, it's when all you need to be happy is them being happy
>>
>>16724943

I've been attracted to women before, even been in a couple of relationships, but I've never felt this feeling before.
>>
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So I've been going on a few dates with this guy. We're both inexperienced, and things have gone very slowly, at a pace I think we're both comfortable with. We kissed for the first time at the end of our last date.
For our next date I'd like to invite him home, cook a meal together and maybe play some board games or watch a movie. Just that, I don't feel ready to sleep with him yet.
My question is: do you think he'd automatically assume a date at my place means sex? Would you?
Because if so, I'd rather wait with that
>>
>>16723448

Protip: Girls really like dancing.
>>
>>16724947
What they're trying to say is you shouldn't differentiate between trans girls and cis girls because they're all girls. Whether you agree with that or not is up to you. They're not saying "biological female" is insulting
>>
>>16724992
Personally I would have it as a possibility of it in the back of my head but if you're really going steady then I wouldn't be expecting it, unless you're proposing playing strip candyland or something. But if your still worried you could lay out the plans of the night for the most part and I'm sure it'd be fine.
>>
>>16723720

You know in The Sims when two Sims are talking and get a plus over their heads, and sometimes you get the awesome double plus that shows they REALLY like each other?
It's like that.

x = kiss
xx = kiss kiss
>>
>>16724252

In a group where you can be a little annex and they don't have to pay attention to it? Fine. In front of just a couple of friends in a casual setting? Gross. In front of just one friend? Fuck you.
>>
>>16724666

Sloppy seconds.
>>
>>16724666
lel looks like your question got pretty decisively answered m8
>>
>>16724748
Oh man, just you wait until you get dumped. Going from the feelings you describe now to the absolute state of complete and utter all-consuming, soul wrenching melancholy is the worst experience in the world. Almost as bad is living with the fear that this *could* happen to you.

Relationships are a double edged sword.
>>
I'm interested in a friend of my ex boyfriend, what do I do with it?
>>
>>16724912

It's by no means guaranteed to happen, but it absolutely happens enough to worry about it, and when it does happen it can be fucking scary. Like, it won't happen to every woman all the time, but it happens to most women at least once.

The 'paranoia' is honestly nothing personal, it's not like you specifically look like a psycho at all. It's just a numbers game.
I don't think all drivers on the road are somehow psychos who want to chop me into pieces and throw me in the river, but I'm still not going to risk hitch hiking, you know?

There's definitely a line between having safety in mind vs letting fear control you and make you act like an asshole to innocent people, but I don't think there's anything strange about having an awareness that someone who knows where you work might show up again.
>>
>>16724488
>Depends on the reason for saying no in the first place. That shit IS legitimately endearing, but if he feels like he's too occupied with other stuff to have a relationship it wont change anything.
It's not about time or being occupied he says. Just more of a "not for a real relationship at this time" deal. He has been accepting of the things I want to do for him so far... So I feel okay about having to wait a while for him to warm up. I'm trying no be too pushy on him.
>>
>>16724947

The acceptable term is 'cis woman' ('cis' being the opposite of 'trans'), which has been adopted widely enough that saying 'biological woman' just makes you sound like you can't have done any real reading on the subject and probably aren't educated enough to weigh in.

But yeah, getting offended over it is fucking stupid and just an example of "social justice" bullying culture. It's just the internet equivalent of teenage girls waiting to pounce on anyone who doesn't have the most modern iPhone.
'Biological woman' is not derogatory, just outdated. Like saying a kid who's mentally challenged is 'retarded' - that's simply factual and would have been the proper term not too long ago, but now it's considered offensive. Or how your grandma calls black people 'negros' without any malice.
>>
>meet girl on dating site
>she asks for my contact
>we chat some more and i ask her to come meet me in town
>she does, we have a nice evening
>text her later to say she was lovely and would like to see her again
>she says no one ever called her lovely and she'd like to see me again too
>propose to see each other at a party
>she can't come (as I knew she was with a cousin)
>fair enough, propose to meet at my house, see a movie, nothing big
>no answer suddenly

Do you girls do that? Not reply suddenly. I mean she probably is just busy considering she seemed interested so far. I just want to know if that happens.
>>
>>16725211
And I meant not replying on purpose of course.
>>
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How the hell do I get over the fear of rejection? I'm not scared for myself feeling like an ass, but I'm worried that the girl might feel awkward or distress about it and I'd hate being the cause of that because I like her too much. I always do the same thing where I like someone but never act on it because of that shit.
>>
>>16725004
>>16725084
ah, now i get it. what bothers me most is the judgemental and extremely insulting, defensive attitude, not the argument itself. but who am I to say that, I'm a cis straight white female.

I listen to ru paul podcast a lot and he had to adapt to the social justice community too, taking out a bit called "she mail" on drag race or using the word "tranny". he's still big on using "biological women" though. in context of the show and podcast i personally find it unoffensive, especially because the drag community is known to use very direct slang (the term "fish" e.g.). once a community loses its sense of/for humor, it's downhill from there IMO.
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