Pop quiz time hot Shots
your a girl (or pretend if your not)
were in a singles bar
I nervously walk up to you and engage in some awkward small talk
offer to buy you a drink
what do you do?
are you doing that face all the time?
i wouldn't be found dead in a single bar, but hypothetically speaking i'd rather we made some real conversation before you start spending money on me...
Op - i was about to offer an example but I've drawn a blank. I'm like a comedian dying on stage here.
let me try
what do you do for living?
what's that like?
ask follow up questions and then compare it to my job if I find any similarities.
I pretend like I didn't hear you and talk to my friend I came in with about my boyfriend (that I don't actually have).
Then she tells me she didn't know I had a boyfriend and asks what his name is and what he does and a whole lot of shit I didn't want to deal with at the bar.
I'm just going to answer like I would in real life. I am a female, but on the heavy side. Not particularly attractive. Would say a more attractive woman will likely not give you the time of day, but that's how it is.
I work as a Social Media Investigator. I help detect cases of fraud by looking through people's online presence. It's a fun job. How about you?
well, it's certainly not a bad idea to go to one. and even if it is to practice small talk.
i mean, i can onlytalk for myself but i don't like guys spending on me the moment they meet me. i feel like they want to buy my attention or that i'm now obliged to have some awkward small talk with you. it's a very nice gesture, sure! but i would like to find you interesting and sympathetic without money starting to play into this.
it sounds like you are goin into the right direction with the small talk. i guess you know the basics then. follow up questions, no yes or no questions. but if it happens, don't get hung up about it! just go on. don't think shit shit shit i made a mistake. there is nothing you can't rescue. unless you would vomit over me because your so nervous...
this is where it might fall apart.
I'm a stocktaker, I count stock for a living. It's ok but its min wage so I know it wont sweep women off their feet.
this is another thread but Social Media Investigator sounds like an interesting job actually. I've been meaning to move on for a while now.
i'll give you my answers too.
i work as an assistant in a school for special needs kids.
what do you do?
it's awesome! i really love my job. it's very varied work. we have cooking classes, sport, math, and so on.
do you like your job? what are you doing on a normal day?
you see, it's not all up to you to keep the convo going. the girl will also ask questions! it should be balanced, her talking about her life and you talking about yours. she wan'ts to get to know more about you too!
Stocks like Wall Street or stocks like... grocery store? If it's the latter, do not ask me about my job.
Also, if you have to say your job, follow up with what your ambitions are.
"I am a stocker currently, but I am trying to become an engineer/whatever." is a better way so it's not just a total letdown.
Remember, when you approach a woman, you're telling her what you have to offer her. You are selling yourself the same way you'd sell a car. Don't tell me all the bad things at once. Tell me your strengths.
this is another issue but I definately need to become more interesting, if only for my own sake. When I filled out a dating profile I realised Im a shut in.
I'm a stocktaker, I count stock for a living. It's ok but its min wage so I know it wont sweep women off their feet
its counting items in shops, like boots, Superdrug, rive Island etc.
not sure about ambitions, I wanted to be games developer for a while but decided to drop that. I'm sarting to think I need a decent job to attract women, at least with my looks.
hold up anon.
waaaaait a moment.
i don't think any one job is more valuable than another.
you need to take pride in what you do! i'm sure you are doing a good job and are the one that keeps everything flowing nicely.
don't speak like that about yourself.
it seems like you have decided that you are boring. and now aou use all your energy to try and get more "interesting". does it work? probably not. it just brings you down and makes you feel inadequat.
try to work on this. I'd take a guy with a stable job he takes pride in doing very good over a depressed workaholic every day.
maybe i have seen too much sentimental 60's movies, but money isn't everything. i never had much and won't have a lot of money inthe near future. and it doesn't bother me. i take pride in working with the money i have. making ends meet and still haave a fun and enjoable life. if i had a man, i'd do the same. i think as a guy with a small income you have atleast one advance to wealthy guys. if you find a girl, she's really in for you. not your money. and girls that go for money are NEVER satisfied. they won't be happy with a house. it needs to be a house in this and that neighbourhood after a while. and vacations don't cut it anymore either. it needs to be a there and there now. it's a bottomless pit that leads to a lot of drama.
do your job with your head held high. if you think you aren't living up to your potential, keep improving your skills. but do it not just for the money.
If you have nothing to sell, then there is nothing women will want with you. Make yourself worth something to yourself, first. Find something you want to do, someone you want to be, and work on that. Until you do, no woman will want to be with you. I hate to be so harsh, but this is the reality of things.
thanks you for taking the time to write that
I would say the problem with my job is that im not too keen on it, I do let that bitterness get to me. my problem.
at this point I do want a job that's more enjoyable than high earning.
Im usually stuck for conversation.
this is true, I did want to become a games developer but decided to give up that. it wasn't working out. So I'm back to square one.
perhaps this should've been a what job next thread?
well, then do that. but not because you think you need something WOMEN find less "boring". or because you think you need money to attract girls. you might get girls to notice you with money. but think about it long and hard. are those really the girs you want to draw to you?
well, a game developer is a very vague thing to have as a goal. and the competition is high.
what are aspects of your current job you like?what are the moments you like your job (even if it is a very small moment)?
In the situation he described, meeting someone for the first time, in a bar, he needs to have a reason for the woman to stick around. He has listed nothing but negatives.
1. he is not attractive
2. he is anxious
3. he does not have a dominant personality
4. he does not have any interests
5. he works a minimum wage job
Why should I talk to him when there are other people with at least something to offer me? He's got nothing, except that he awkwardly offered to buy me a drink, a drink i'm going to feel shitty about the moment I realize he worked an over an hour to be able to afford it.
These environments are about snap judgments. It's not fair, but it's the truth. If he still wants a girl, he would be better off going for friends or coworkers, someone who can get to know him gradually rather than being forced to make a choice right then.
In before bitches and whores: I married a disabled man who can't work. You know why? Because he was my best friend for years. But if he approached me out of the blue in a bar? I probably wouldn't have wanted to talk to him.
it was an artist.
about my current job
> I like the fact that there's a variety of stores.
>I've started to get to know the people I work with (there middle-aged and mostly male).
>I have actually gotten fairly good at counting, I'm considred one of the best and its true
this is true, I don't think picking up girls is for me or at least not like this.
I would like to meet a girl in a none hook-up setting,
on a side note I've been thinking of getting into tabletop RPG's or maybe a book club? an outdoor hobby thats away from clubs and the like.
Ugh, I look a lot like this guy, except I have a better haircut and glasses and currently have a neatly trimmed full beard.
Fuck my life, according to the responses in this thread.
its not that bad, I've learnt not to try and approach women like this.
I'll tell you this much. I've want to grow a beard myself but can't. It just doesn't grow that thick.
don't mind myself, prefer to be clean shaven myself