h-how do i get friends and a gf?
>have a coworker, early 20's
>good looking, funny, fun, has a story for everything
>has tons of friends, every other day he goes to a bar or a party with friends
>has hobbies and interests too
>ugly, boring, no friends, socially awkward
>don't do anything except stay at home
>no hobbies or ambitions
>aging, late 20's
everyone seems to have an eventful and interesting life. while i just stagnate and sit at home, reading, watching tv shows or browsing 4chan.
how do i even go about changing this?
start going out change you looks (new clothes idk new shoes)go to bars meet other people that are sitting alone and talk to them. talk to people at your work see if they want to go out (eat or watch a movie anything really)
It's a myth of adulthood to have lots of friends. Even coworkers are rarely friends outside of work.
When you get a career going with a family and kids there is little or no spare time for friends.
Of course an early 20s person would seem interesting with a great social life because they are just out of college where they had ready access to easy social opportunities. Don't get discouraged comparing yourself to others like that.
You know when you are out doing mundane errands like getting groceries? Try talking up someone in line instead of being a quiet zombie robot going through the everyday motions of life. Things only seem mundane because you aren't actively engaging your surroundings.
Start a social hobby like a team sport or rock climbing or whatever, just something to do that involves interacting with people. Be friendly and open. Learn names, chat with folks. Invite them out for drinks.
Having kids the real killer. Merely being an adult with a long term relationship and a career doesn't kill friendships, though making a keeping friends as an adult is definitely more effort.
i don't think anyone will want to talk to me though.. i'm awkward and boring
i do have other coworkers closer to my age that have a large group of friends too.
thanks, will try to get a social hobby. i'm not good at team sports (poor reflexes/hand eye coordination), but rock climbing looks like something i can handle
You need a hobby. It doesn't have to be sports or anything. Even TV shows can get you some friend if you talk about it to people, and then the friend may introduce you to other people and you may acquire a group to hang out with.
I'm a bit socially awkward and my main hobby is drawing animu shit and watching TV series as well. I found a gril from my city on >tumblr and she turned out to be really social and enjoys my company, so I come over to her place for parties and I met more people that way. I also met a nice group of friend by going to private French classes in a small group (6 people). There is one sociable guy and we clicked humor sense wise etc. so we often offer others to go drinking or play board games etc.
Couchsurfing was also a good way to get some buddies, but since it's based on hosting travellers and staying at people's place in different cities, the most of friends I got from there live abroad. But I met one nice girl from a city which is only few hours away and for example I spent last NYE with her. Couchsurfing may also give you nice stories to tell.
You're right and wrong at same time
Right because family people have little free time.
Wrong because in order to make a family one should be social and have lots of friends. Talking to girls on the street is for upper percent of good looking guys, i dont know anyone who got a gf that way, it's always someone from their surrounding.
have all the same problems as OP, i don't like my looks, been told all my life that i look good, how the fuck am i still alone ? doesn't help my self esteem one bit
after doing it myself i will say it: don't even bother with whores, it's like fucking a piece of meat and your chances of contracting incurable stds increse 100fold.
thanks for the ideas
i've heard about couchsurfing, but i live with my parents still. can't justify losing 30-40% of my after tax income to unnecessary rent
I'm awkward and boring but I lie about it by making up stories that happened to other ppl and put myself in their place. Shit works if you got enough deets to sell it as your own.
i don't know about making things up, seems like i'd be living a lie
and would be embarrassing if i was found out to be lying
i can't read german, but it looks like the average is above 3 close friends. i have zero...
Not gonna lie, OP. You're a piece of stinking shit. But I bring good news. You can change it. Your life is boring because you never challenged yourself before. Always living with your parents, always in your confort zone. Well. Guess what? Your life is gonna be boring and uninteresting. You can embrace it and living knowing that you're a boring person or you can move from your parents basement, find a hobby, evolve as a human being, etc.
You can also kill yourself easily firing up coal in a sealed room. The coal will consume the oxygen and you will choke.
I am usually not brazen when I give advice, but you OP are a bitch. Keep reading... If you, yourself think of yourself as undesirable/socially awkward, ugly boring etc, tell me how the fuck somebody else is even going to find you remotely desirable??? How is anybody going to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself? OP you need to change who you are to get better results, conduct yourself better in public, speak up, and loud. Be assertive, walk tall groom yourself better than everyone else, and for the love of god think better of yourself.
>take your itnerests
>google special interests groups
>look for meetups in craigslist based on your interests
>use meetup.com for the same thing
>go to all the lcoal hobby shops that match your itnerests and ask what events they have as well
there is no hobby that cant be turned to a group activity. even if you only like to read, there are book clubs. this isnt rocket science
>get a gf
people arent appliances. have fun and wiat til you meet the right girl. there is no scientific method of finding a girl worth dating
I want to fuck, my best friends gf, who I'm pretty sure has a really base sexual interestin me (in the sense that, we're both seriously sexually aatracted to each other, gleened from how we look at each other) and intellectually attracted to each other, we have great conversation and rapor etc.... I know I can give her more in those regards than my friend can, and whenever we are together we become the focal point of conversation whilst my friend is peripheral.
I'm just not sure how I have her, I don't want to hurt my friend- but- I will If i get the chance (yeah i'm a cock) - I'm just not sure how to make it happen, my thoughts are filled with just taking her, grabbing her and showing her what I *think* we both want... but that sems excessive... I would rather entice her, into some sort of initiation first. I'm just not sure how...
I fantasize about visiting them and staying round their house, and her returning home (while he is out), me being on their sofa, 'asleep' with a massive hard-on, knowing that she can't avoid it... then fucking her senseless like I know he can't. Fuck.
Am I broken?
thanks for the advice
i know this. which is why i asked how to get friends
I'm gonna divulge more.
My friend's gf.... she is super cute and hot to me. And I fucking want her, I want her as a person, and as my little fuck toy.
I know my friend, I know he's a "decent" person, but he isn't.... this is gonna sound fucked up and self exagerating, but- he isn't strong, protective or intelligent in the way I am :| - and I cannot help but get the feeling every time I see the two of them (they live realtively far from me) that she is yerning for me... Its little things, I see the way she changes her dress, her makeup, she wants to engage in things she knows I like doing (and he doesn't) - she cooks for me (he tells me she never cooks), she plays games with both of us (he says she never usually plays these games) - we have really strong eye contact... stronger than I have with my friend, as in we really stare into each other's eyes.... I'm sure she wants me.... there is just something really base level going on, that I know even my friend sees, he has warned me "not to ever do anything" - which, from him is an admission of aknowledgement that she has spoken of me to him in someway that makes him uneasy ---- I know this is fucked up --- but I fucking want her. And I think she fucking wants me.
There are all sorts of connections we share in terms of ideas, understanding, shared roots, and this base sensation I get that we "want" each other....
Fuck. I know it is wrong. But, I want her, I want to have her, I want to be inside her, fucking her like she wants it, putting myself in her.
....Or I'm just totally dillusional. I don't fucking know. But next time I visit them, if she gives me even a hint that she wants it..............
>don't do anything except stay at home
>How do I get friends and a gf
>All I do is stay at home all day
>But how do I get friends
>All I do is stay at home
>How do I meet new people?
I feel like this is an easy one.
>in b4 social anxiety
The crutch that's used by anyone and everyone who doesn't want to work on their social skills. They're called social skills for a reason.
The thing is you can anon. There are somethings you can change and there are some things you can't change. Ugly is a subjective term, what someone thinks is ugly might not be for some. Your appearance conforms with that thought of 'uglyness' you think (and what you think others think is ugly, therefore you are ugly.) some people are born with undesireable features and that's life, but understand that everyone in this world has both desirable and undesirable qualities, the ones you cannot change, you will have to deal with. Instead, focus on what you can control, your attitude, posture, hygiene, the way you dress and conduct yourself. Focus on what you can control and if you make a real effort you will see changes.
Hah. Better than me. I've never had dreams or aspirations. The relationships of the two closest friends and only friends I'd ever had in my entire life effectively dissolved away due to my social ineptitude. Ended up getting fired from the one job I managed to land, and I don't even have the paperwork to prove I worked there. I haven't finished highschool, either.
What the fuck do I even do. I just never feel strongly about anything. Not even the thought of potentially being on the street next month is motivation enough to do anything.
I have nothing to offer, anyways. No matter what I do or try, there will always be somebody who can do it better. No unique ideas, no unique perspective. I can't even fully enjoy what I do have, whereas most others would probably be ecstatic if they had the opportunities that I've had.
I'm just lost. Without sufficient intelligence to solve problems related to my interests, there's no point in me even participating in anything even if I did find it enjoyable. I'm not even creative enough to manifest some circumstance where my particular abilities would grant me any benefit. It's the curse of being stupid. "Stupid" is all I hear, but never any solutions. It's not a problem that I can fix, why exclaim it? It's as if they believe that I don't feel bad enough as it is.
>>tfw I have friends but they haven't set me up with anyone
Don't blame them. I'm not attractive anyway, and my friends are all decent-looking so have decent-looking friends that either have partners or can easily get laid by someone more attractive than me.
Then try to be attractive. Alter your character based on your idealistic beliefs. Be the change you want to see in the world, be what you value, and make what you wish to see happen a reality.
I think anybody who could pull something like that off would have more than a few girls interested in them.
>Instead, focus on what you can control, your attitude, posture, hygiene, the way you dress and conduct yourself. Focus on what you can control and if you make a real effort you will see changes.
thanks for the advice
work on your financial situation first if you think you might be homeless next month. make your living arrangements a priority
am i to talk to the girls before/after class? how do i even start conversations with strangers without them thinking i'm a creep that goes to yoga classes to try to hit on girls