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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 327
Thread images: 30
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>>
So I've been talking to this girl. We were talking non-stop a week ago and I heard she really liked me from one of our mutual friends. Had dinner together at this Italian joint on Tuesday and she said she'd be down to do something next week like dinner or something.
Now she felt the need to tell me exactly what plans she had this week like work etc and I've got one message from her since the dinner saying "sorry just finished work :(".

I asked her some stuff about her day and that was 2 days ago. According to her, thurs/friday are her emptiest days.
If you liked a dude, would you ignore him /adv/?
>>
Is it possible for a person to get a GF/BF with little to no dating whatsoever?

I'm talking like, 0% dating.

If Hanging out doesn't count as dating that is.

Also, another question for both: Why should I ever bother dating?
>>
Would it be awkward to ask a classmate you don't know very well / had one conversation with if she wants to study for a quiz?
>>
Just asked a girl out a few minutes ago and she said "we'll see" 1:1 translated from my language.

How fucked am I?
>>
Would any of you girls/guys date a person who has a cuckold fetish?
>>
>>16715940

I ignore guys I like. Sometimes I'm just too exhausted to text all day. It sounds like she might just be busy. See if she wants to hang out on Thursday or Friday.

>>16715976

Eh, maybe. I did it a few times in high school. It's not really practical as an adult to go from "we're friends hanging out" to "let's be in a committed romantic relationship with no transition period whatsoever".

Dating is an opportunity to get nicely acquainted before you over-commit. It saves you from being in love with someone and planning your life with them and then finding out that they're a fascist or something. It's fun.

>>16716055

No. If you had one conversation or two then it should be fine. She'll probably just interpret it as strictly school related which will be good, presumably.

>>16716104

Maybe not that badly fucked. She could set up plans with you later. In general though, try to find someone who isn't such an unenthusiastic cunt.

>>16716153

Yes.
>>
>>16715976
Dating is a silly idea from movies. You like somebody, you spend time with them, you bang and maybe become a couple.

>>16716055
Depending on how you ask it. If you don't come of as desperate it's cool.

>>16716104
You ain't getting your dick wet/10

>>16716153
As long we'd keep it a fantasy, why the fuck not. Anybody taking fetishes too seriously is cray as fuck.
>>
>>16716170
>Anybody taking fetishes too seriously is cray as fuck.

Damn. I must be the most perverted and craziest person on the planet then.

Sex is the only thing that interests me on this planet, I'm not ashamed of it, I embrace it as a natural thing in human life.
>>
>>16716190
Liking sex is nothing to be ashamed of but how comes you didn't find anything else?
>>
I've been with this girl for 2 or 3 months now, and sex has slowed down a lot. Like, she only wants it once a week, or when she's drunk. She says that she just doesn't feel like it. I've questioned her about it, and she says she still likes me and finds me attractive, but she just isn't in the mood. I think it could be because she's recently started on Vyvanse.

I'm not sure what to do here. I'm thinking about leaving her, but I like her in every other way and it seems kind of dickish for leaving her for not enough sex. I've had to start masturbating daily again though, and I don't really see the point of staying with her at this point if this is going to continue.
>>
>>16716218
>but how comes you didn't find anything else?

I don't know really.

I've been interested in sex for a long time, even though I have no experience in it either.

For example, sex isn't JUST penis in vagina + premature ejaculation + piss break = go to sleep, foreplay is vital in a healthy sex life, yes premature ejaculation happens, and you should be proud if it does, it increases chances of getting your gf/wife pregnant, but if you don't want kids yet, just continue with foreplay after the premature ejaculation, pleasure yourselves not just through and with your penises and vaginas, massage and make the rest of the body feel good as well.

Play with his/her hair, massage each others skin, do skin orgasms(Google that shit), and stuff like that.

Also kissing. It burns a few calories.

How do I know this shit? I studied, a fuckton. Hell I could even feign that I'm not a virgin at all for fucks sake, I could but I won't.
>>
Girls, what is a good way to start a conversation on online dating sites like okcupid. I've been reading through the profile to try to find shared interests and commenting on them but I'm not having much luck
>>
I've been seeing a guy, he's quite a bit older than me, 11 years, we met at college and have known each other for months, but never really spoke with each other. He told me he really liked me at a party, we've hooked up once a week or so, seems to be a very casual thing. That's okay with me.

Thing is that he seems really into me and is very sweet until we hook up, then he disappears until he wants to get laid again. He's always the one who takes initiative to meet, but I texted him a week ago if he wanted to meet up this weekend. He said "let's see" and I haven't heard from him for nearly a week. I've made plans to hang out with my friends and might go on a date tonight, because I've started developing feelings for the guy, and I think he's just in it for sex. He's probably texting me tonight or tomorrow if I want to come over, is it an asshole move to blow him off? I suggested to hook up last week, but since I haven't heard anything from him at all, I don't want to cancel my plans/life in case he texts me to come over in the evening. I'm just afraid he'll be pissed, but is it fair to expect I'm open to see him whenever it suits him, when he doesn't even bother to initiate contact a few days beforehand?
>>
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For Girls
How would you feel if your ex, who you haven't talk to in 4 years, starts messaging you on Facebook to see if you want to try dating again?
>>
>>16716436

Depends entirely on the situation, the reason you broke up and the relationship. My ex was abusive and we were toxic to each other, so nope.jpg, but if you had a great relationship, why not try. She could be busy, dating someone else or completely over you, but you lose nothing if you try.

Why did you end it, though? Has the reason and circumstances changed since?
>>
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Pic related: Hilarity intended. Gonna be honest but this is how girls are when it comes to figuring out a guy's sexuality..... xD hahahahahahaha
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>>16716456
We were younger and the relationship lasted for a week
>>
>>16716354
Ask him if he's only in it for the sex. If he is, then you're not the asshole for shoving him away.

If you truly like just hooking up with him, then I guess its OK, but if you want it to go more serious, and he doesn't, then you know the obvious solution.
>>
>>16715824
How do i help this girl im talking to get over her ex?
She's still hung up on him after they broke up 6 months ago.
>>
Girls

Girl I'm talking to said "why are you so kind to me? :)" I responded with this. Good or bad?

"Well, it's because I like you. You are very special to me. I hope this doesn't sound weird, but you really make me feel happy. i smile almost every time I look down at my phone and see a message from you. I really would like if you moved here to the US, but I want what you want. Because I want you to be happy too! So I will support whatever you choose to do! There is a lot I want to say, but I don't know how to word it all ahah :)"
>>
>>16716552
So you're only kind to people if you want to bang them?
>>
Sex on the which date?

I know it's probably not 1st or 2nd, is it the 3rd or 4th?

Or is it the 10th?

Never everth?
>>
>>16716565

what. I don't just want to bang her. I genuinely like her. A lot! When we hung out before I never made any sexual advances. Because I care about her I showed her respect and didn't push anything on her. I was just happy being with her! She's so great!
>>
>>16716573

20 dates. Haven't you seen "The 40 year old Virgin?"
>>
>>16716573
When both want it? There is no card where you get 10 points for each date and return it for a blowjob or sex when you collected enough points.

>>16716577
Missing the point quite bad, mate. The way you answered it, implies that you pick when to act kind or not towards people. Though it won't be an issue if she's young herself and doesn't pay too much attention of course.
>>
>>16716611

I clearly said I like her, and she makes me happy. Where the hell do you get that from?
>>
>>16715976
Absolutely. I think it's much better to become friends first, then close friends, best friends, and then a couple.
>>
>>16716153
Nah. Anything non-monogamous is my anti-fetish.
>>
>>16716546
You can't
>>
>>16716622
The point is not liking her or not, but the way of answering her question. Anyway, it'd take too long to explain if you don't see it right away.

You could make your answer less wordy. And cut the "ahah :)" shit for the love of God.
>>
>>16716633

Well I meant well by it. It was a compliment of me telling her that I really like her.
>>
>>16715824
On the off chance that any doms are reading this: How do I get into the Dom mindset? I have no problems being dominant per sé, but In just can't seem to get into the right mindset to have a session with my girl.

I'd say my main problem is thinking of stuff. I've tried thinking about it more than a few times by now, but I can't seem to think of anything good.
>>
Guys

I know you aren't that talkative. But my boyfriend doesn't talk about anything personal anymore. Only hobby stuff and random chitchat. He doesn't tell me if he's going out and we won't be seeing each other - this is something I've talked to him about before, like ''Could you please let me know'' which he just ignores. I hear more about what's going on by his friends telling me random things.

I don't expect anyone to share every single detail that happens to them but this is a bit too weird. Or am I expecting too much and ''lol he's just a normal dude''?
>>
>>16716715
>I don't expect anyone to share every single detail that happens to them but this is a bit too weird. Or am I expecting too much and ''lol he's just a normal dude''?
24yo dude here.

As far as I'm concerned that's a fairly reasonable demand. I'm not too open about my feelings as well, but at least my gf knows where I am at any given time she wants to know.

What kinda concerns me is you saying
>anymore
though. Did that change recently?
>>
>>16716715
>this is something I've talked to him about before, like ''Could you please let me know'' which he just ignores
Sounds like an ass. You're absolutely right to expect more. Not everybody is super talkative but this sounds like a super fucking basic thing to say.
>>
>>16716718
Yeah, he was more open a couple months back still.
>>16716721
He's gone again tonight, and I don't know where or why. It feels pretty bad getting blown off. Usually if I send him a message asking ''Where are you?'' or so, I don't get a reply at all.
>>
Is it rape if you don't ask for permission for sex on a live feed with full visual and audio recorders and at least three witnesses present?
>>
>>16716737

If one of the participating parties engaging in the sex wasn't willing, then it's rape
>>
>>16716747
What are the chances of false rape accusations happening for any person at all?

Or is it only in the US?
>>
>>16716737

if your question starts with "is it rape if"

you know damn well what youre asking & what the answer will be

dont make us put this in the wiki
>>
>>16716766

It depends on the bitch Tbh.

If she didn't say no, or hint she didn't want it. But still sent along with it/got into it but calls rape then she is a fucking BITCH
>>
>meet girl
>get her number etc
>try to arrange a date/hangout, but both of our schedule's are fucked, plus I was also slightly more interested in another girl at the time so I didn't try as hard as I could have
>all that happens is one time she visited me at work
>eventually just kind of fades away, but never enough happened where you'd say it's shut for good etc
>now months later sent her a snap of me and text of "a lil dissapointed all we ever were was one meeting at (my workplace) lol"
>she replies back "ikr" with her smiling
>send back "let's try to hangout when you're not working"
>she's opened it
>no response

Now she might just be busy/at work (she's a hairstylist), as she hasn't looked at any of my recent snap stories either so maybe she hasn't had time to reply, but assuming I get no snap/text from her at all today, should I consider her not interested?
>>
>>16716785
>dont make us put this in the wiki

It SHOULD be in the wiki.

Also, SexEd in Kindergarten would also be nice, but Lower Case T cult gets in the way instead.
>>
Women,
How much do you expect to receive oral.
I literally have 0 intention of putting my mouth down there. How do I gently explain that to you.
>>
Why are women attracted to people who stopped having any feeling for them?
>>
>>16716821
I hope you don't expect blowjobs either.

Just find a girl with a low libido, so you refusal for something so basic won't be as relevant as it'd be for people who have more active sex lifes.
>>
if I told a girl I like her, how often should I be talking to her?

I feel like everyday is a little weird because im awkward and don't have a lot to talk about anyway but i feel like weekly contact is sort of too long
>>
>>16716852
I dont expect them because it wouldnt be fair even though the reasons wouldnt be equivalent. But the women Im with usually still do it.
Its still always awkward when I have to break it to them that im not going to.
Looking for a good way to break the news instead of the stumbling Ive done all my life.
>>
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This question is aimed at guys on here: If you found out that a girl you liked was obsessed with posting on 4chan, would it make you more or less attracted to her?

Would there be a difference in opinion varying on what boards she frequented?

I'm a girl and I spend most of the day on here (usually /a/, /v/, /vg/, /x/), when I'm not at college or working. Just kind of wondering if it would be a deal breaker since I'm so antisocial and enjoy posting on here more than socializing most of the time.
>>
>>16716882
It's really not easy, because most women see it as an essential part of sex; as with a lot things, make sure she'll get it's not because of her pussy but just a thing you don't like to do, although don't make your explanation too much about how disgusting you find pussy.
>>
>>16716899
less attracted to her. But thats because I browse here and know how shitty this place is.
>>
>>16716899
Definitely less attracted, depending on how much time you waste, it might be a complete red flag.

It's less about 4chains, any form of passive entertaining beyond reading is fucking lame and if you don't have any actual hobbies, it's a huge turn off.
>>
>>16716899
More attracted because I pretty much do the same shit. A girl that frequents 4chan, and those boards specifically, would have to share some interests with me and not be turned off by darker humor.
>>
Girls.
Do you reel the need to be at a party when kissing a guy? Would you kiss a guy the first time without being at a party ?
>>
>>16716899
Posting in general is fine but it wouldn't really sway me one way or the other. The boards don't matter. However obsession would make me less attracted. Get a grip.
>>
>>16715824
ladies,
at what age do shy guys interest you more than "confident" guys?
>>
>>16716936
From around 13 to 15, when I was most insecure
>>
>>16716927
I'm a guy but I've gotten a kiss on a first date before. It depends on chemistry, your temperament and the girl's, and other stuff too.
>>
>>16716904
No woman ive met has ever described it as essential lol
>>
>>16716950
Are you still together with either of them?
>>
>>16716954
I obviously couldnt play all of them at the same time
>>
>>16716939
did u sex b4 13?
>>
>asked a girl if she's busy tomorrow via facebook messenger
>she was active a minute ago
>I sent the message about 50 minutes ago
>it isn't marked as 'seen'

Is this sort of thing indicative of thinking about it under the guise of 'I haven't seen it yet'?

I'm mostly curious about what this tactic generally means/indicates. It seems like it could go either way.
>>
>>16716962
17
>>
>>16716964
It means that she now knows you're a potential fallback if nothing else comes up, and that there's no rush to respond as a result. She'll give every last second she can for other opportunities to arise before finally deciding whether you're more enticing than doing absolutely nothing tomorrow instead.

If she were actually enthusiastic about you, she would have been the ones making plans with you herself.
>>
>>16716964
If she has mobile Facebook, she might be marked active without actively looking at her messages. Don't over think things.
>>
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I got a hair cut and yesterday an ex of mine complimented it about 10 times using the words "cute" and "adorable" within a matter of minutes when she saw it. She got like 6 inches away from my face when I mentioned I thought the barber messed up on a spot and disagreed with me.

I've mentioned rekindling things in the past but she says "If I didn't have a boyfriend". Hadn't seen her in 5 years until she started working at the same place I do a couple months ago.

>should i just take the compliments and forge onward to other prospects ?
or
>think she wants the D

Is doing both healthy?
>>
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>>16716989
Both nigga
>>
Everyone

Why is sex not a private matter anymore? I don't care if people have sex, I don't do it. But why should it be such common talk? I just read a article in the local newspaper about how people are stocking up on Condoms for the blizzard that's about to hit us tonight. In the article it talked about hook ups people have had and how "everyone just wants someone to keep them warm while stuck inside". It actually kind of pisses me off, I just feel like sex is suppose to be private. It just seems so weird that it's now just everyday conversation that someone turned you into a hot, sweaty, mess last night.
>>
>>16716989
>has a boyfriend
>works at the same place
>is an ex

There are 3 very good reasons why you should stay far the fuck away from that situation, and only 1 really weak reason why you should pursue her, which is to get your dick wet.

There are untold sums of women you can stick your dick in. Don't fuck with her.
>>
>>16717007
>I just feel
And many of us don't. Since it makes no practical difference one way or the other, people just do what feels right to them. If you want people to feel differently then go talk to them. See if you can sway them. Otherwise, they've made up their minds just as you have with yours.
>>
>>16717007
Cancer generation
Plus media is in a horrible direction to distract everyone from the real issues.
>>
>>16717007
>Why is sex not a private matter anymore?
Why would be an activity enjoyed by the vast majority be a private matter?
>>
>>16717018

The thing is it's everywhere. On TV, in local newspapers, on the radio. Fuck, I just came back from vacation in Europe. And at work I was asked by at least 6-7 people how many girls I fucked. People were floored when I said none. Fuck, even a female co-worker asked me "get a lot of pussy over there?" Like what the hell.
>>
>>16717027
Most of Europe is even more open about sex. They're not as uptight about this shit as you and more conservative Americans tend to be.

It's fine if it bugs you. But you need to realize no one cares what you think. Likewise, you shouldn't care what others think of it. You do you.
>>
>>16717027
It's everywhere that people who feel this way are found. People can be found everywhere, as can mass media. You're surrounded by people with a particular opinion and they're acting accordingly. It's pretty straightforward. I'm not sure what advice there is to give other than playing devil's advocate for yourself.
>>
>>16717021

It really fucking is

>>16717022

Why would you want to tell people that some dude fucked you silly to the point where you were quivering uncontrollably in a orgasmic state? You don't talk to people about that nice shit that you took. Because shitting is private.
>>
>Men

This is sort of a random question, but its about race. I am just wondering, regardless of the individual, why is it that a racist (whether they are white, black, etc) who say they hate another race because that other race behave badly... but then when someone from that other race comes along and shows them that they are a good person, educated, from a good family, what-have-you... the racist still refuses to look at them as a normal good human being. Why?

>Racist: "I hate that race because they steal, rape, and are just bad people in general!"
>One person from that race: "I never stole anything, never raped anybody, and I come from a good background who happens to be a different color from you. Can we maybe get along anyway?"
>Racist: "Nope, get away from me."

Just asking because its something that's been swimming in my head tonight.
>>
>>16717036
>Why would you want to tell people that some dude fucked you silly to the point where you were quivering uncontrollably in a orgasmic state?

So, do tell us where you heard someone express that sentiment on the TV, radio and in the newspapers.
>>
>>16717038

Well, that part I heard a girl at work say..

But the newspaper article was talking about how everyone wants to invite someone over to get snowed in, and to stock up on protection.
>>
>>16715824
>Would you date a virgin?
>As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
Virgin girls have a market. I don't know about virgin guys though. However I have a sense that there are some mature girls that prey on young virgins. There might even be young girls who prey on older virgins.

We probably don't hear about those because virginity is too small in older guys and our society don't value virgins guys.
>>
>>16717037
This really doesn't belong in this thread and was only shoe-horned in by addition of a gender at the start. Go ask >>>/pol/.
>>
>>16717037
Because they're a racist and view everyone of that race as inferior and disgusting. The raping, stealing, etc. of specific members of that race is just a rationale the racist tells them self so it makes it ok for them to hate all of them.
>>
>>16717036
>comparing shitting to the most enjoyable activity a human can experience sans drugs

>Why would you want to tell people that
After "that" it doesn't matter when it's a dude fucking you silly, the funny show you saw or whatever the fuck you did last weekend. Again, what makes sex such a taboo topic for you? How do you logically support your view?

>>16717037
Because racism isn't based on reasoning and logic. It stems from fear, insecurity, ignorance and the likes.
>>
>>16717057

I am sorry. I do enjoy /adv/ board the most. /pol/ seems... I don't know, I don't want to say it.

>>16717059

I suppose so. I mean, people always told me that being racist, even slightly so, is natural. And if I were to hate a certain race, it would be because they consistently show that they cause grief and pain towards everyone that is on their path... but what happens if someone comes along who comes from that race, and they are actually amazing and pure at heart?

It just seems like racists hate another race because of a legitimate reason. But what happens when they meet a person who does not fit in their negative stereotypes? It just seems like they go ahead and hate that good person anyway. I've seen it happen way too many times now and it confuses me.
>>
>>16717060

It just seems like such a private thing that 2 people experience together. It seems weird to me that is so common, and even expected of everyone. Like seriously, people actually gave me shit because I didn't have sex in Europe. because I'm a fit male, it's expected of me. But I don't do it. I'm not religious. But sex just seems like something you do with someone you care about. Why would you want to go swap body fluids with randoms
>>
>>16717060
>Because racism isn't based on reasoning and logic. It stems from fear, insecurity, ignorance and the likes.

How do you know, though? I know that websites like Stormfront or groups like the Black Panthers talk about race in the most logical way that they can, saying that being racist is natural and shouldn't be discouraged. That it is okay to be racist to another group because THAT group keeps doing bad things.

Alright, but what about the other half of the coin? What about the good people who just happen to look differently than you are? And why do racists still insist that they are no good niggers/spics/gooks/whitey/etc despite evidence to the contrary?
>>
You guys are getting goaded into /pol/ trolling. Stop.
>>
>>16717068
Dude. Don't discuss this on this thread. That's so double sided of you to apologize yet in your next breath to continue this discussion. It's off topic and hot button and is only going to go south. Knock it off. Stop talking about it.
>>
>>16717082

Alright, I'll stop. I'll go to /pol/ and see what they say.
>>
>>16717077
>Like seriously, people actually gave me shit because
That sucks, but more related to them being idiots who push their own ideas on others.

I get your view about sex, hell it's the same for my girlfriend but I'd say there is a huge difference between having it with random people and talking about it with random people.

>>16717078
>How do you know, though?
Science, duh.

> in the most logical way that they can
With a major empathizes on "that they can". You can talk about advanced math with kindergardeners too and they will talk about it in the most logical way that they can too.

>saying that being racist is natural and shouldn't be discouraged
What credibility do they have? Everybody has the freedom to claim and say anything they want, unless they can provide a bit more than baseless claims, they don't deserve the slightest attention.

>>16717080
Who cares.
>>
>>16717093

The issue is the media keeps pushing all this sex stuff, so it's becoming so normal. Like Friends with Benefits is just a casual thing now. Tinder and all this shit is everywhere. I fucking hate it, like it makes me depressed Tbh. Like the last time I had sex was because I was pressured into doing it, and that was 4 years ago. I have to lie to people about sex and say a few months ago because I'll get judged if I say "it's been 4 years". It's because the media has pushed sex to be so small and simple as buying a McDouble from McDonalds that if you DON'T do it then you are weird,
Awkard, strange, or just wrong.

Fuck. The WORST thing is when kids talks to their parents openly about sex. I visited a old friend last week who was at his parents. And his little brother (infront of his mom) said he would cum in Jennifer Lawrence. And his mom just laughed. Like to people have no fuckinf decency or respect??
>>
>>16717108
Allah will cleanse the West
>>
For the past few months, I've regularly taken notes for this girl friend of mine. It's one weekly class, and she had legit reasons like hand injuries leaving her unable to write, doctor's appointments leaving her unable to attend, shutting down due to her autism, things like that.

At first it was just a friendly gesture on my end. I like helping other people, and she appreciated it. Then it seemed like she was overusing my "friendly gesture" a bit much, but we'd become good enough friends that it was no bother to me.
However, in the past month or two she became a shitty friend. Never hits me up and very slowly gives the shortest answers possible if I do, and lately won't even bother responding if it's not a direct question. She always has excuses when I want to meet up, ignores me in person if I don't see her and seems uninterested and merely tolerating if I do see her and hang around.

Though one thing never changed: her asking for those notes. And I'm sick of doing shit for someone who treats me like shit.
Soon she'll probably ask again. Now I don't completely want to tell her to fuck off because I'm not the type to burn bridges and I'm stuck with her for a while longer.

Long backstory, but here's my question. What's a 'fun' and lighthearted way to tell someone to do their own work and stop taking you(rs) for granted?
Girls, any experience with this?
>>
>>16717108
> Like to people have no fuckinf decency or respect??
All vague words, that can be redefined at wish.

Besides, you're pushing your own values too much into this. Exactly the thing that actually causes the problems. If you're not into having friends with benefits or fucking Tinder people, just don't.

Judging is a problem but it affects people who have "too much" sex just as much; and once again, not related to sex being private or not.
>>
>>16717126

Fuck life
>>
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Girls, let's say you regularly ignore a guy's text all day, check your chat app regularly throughout the day and only give a reply in the late evening. What do you think your opinion of that guy would be?

She says we're friends, but I really don't know if this is normal for friends. It's not like she's replying with anything replyable either.
>>
>>16716573
I've never been with a girl before since high school where we didn't at least fuck by the 3rd date
>>
>>16717161
I think "we're friendly" would be a better description than "we're friends" if that makes sense to you.
>>
>>16716552
>ahah : )

Do you think that suddenly makes the serious novel you wrote lighthearted?
>>
>>16717183

No? Well anyways, she read it and responded. She liked it
>>
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>>16716899
>not even ONE disgusting porn board
>>
>>16717178
I should probably add that we've known each other for months, hung out several times and see each other a lot. She also used to respond normally to anything I sent her.
Up until recently, that is. Now it's all at zero or near-zero.

So did that devolve to "we're friendly" too?
>>
>>16717213
All of those things still fit into "friendly." So yes, probably it did.
>>
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>>16717223
That's sad. Thought I'd finally made a few friends and they were about to ditch me again.

But they never were friends at all
>>
>>16717234
It takes a lot to sell some people on friendship. It's better to risk feeling used than to give them a chance to question your value to them.
>>
Girls:

Going out casually with a new acquaintance. I'm starting to like her. How do I control my spaghetti?

I'd like to learn more about her, but I don't just want to drown her in questions.
>>
girl says she isn't feeling to well when i ask her to hang out tonight and the last time we hung out it was awfully bad

should i give up now? or is she actually not feeling well

should i offer to like bring her soup or something? I kind of really like this girl
>>
>>16717298
forgot to mention that was the only time we hung out and it went awfully bad
>>
>>16717298
>>16717307
1. Define awfully bad.
2. If you don't know each other so well, I wouldn't offer. You could ask a more general "Do you need anything/Can I do anything?"
That's a safer, emptier gesture, since she's likely to refuse help anyway.
>>
>>16716981
Well she's marked as seeing the message two hours ago so I dunno.

I think she's had trouble getting over an ex so that may be the issue. Before I moved to town I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime and she said yes after 4 or 5 days. Not sure what to make of her t b h.

My last relationship improved my confidence in who I've become tremendously. I know I'm a good person. It just comes down to whether she gives me a chance to get to know her and takes the time to get know me.
>>
>>16715824
>anon, I miss you
>>lets go do something on x or y day
>sorry i'm busy for the entire week

:')
>>
>>16717335
>1. Define awfully bad.
just so much awkwardness and i barely even spoke to her at all

and yeah she turned my offer down now i'm not sure where I stand
>>
For anyone

>my mother died in November 2014
>On the first anniversary of my mother's death, I met a girl
>we talk a little
>meet up once and have a good time
>asked her out recently, and only realized after the fact that it was my mother's birthday (on the day I asked)

She doesn't know any of this. For me it's kind of bittersweet. My mom was always hoping I would find someone.

I guess my question is, if we end up discussing family is it ok to mention my dead mother? I don't want to avoid it, but I don't want to freak her the fuck out.

Tl;dr Is it ok to mention my mother's passing if we discuss family? Would it freak you out if someone dropped that?
>>
>>16717404
Of course you should mention that your mother died if family comes up. However you'd really have to go out of your way to mention the exact day and the associated coincidence. Just say that she passed away a year ago.
>>
>>16717404
Fine to mention her passing (in no great detail), but don't mention the parallels between her wanting you to to get a girlfriend and having a potential girlfriend in front of you
>>
>>16717390
So give her some time to feel better and come up with a new plan.

Be specific. Not "want to hang out tonight?" But "Wold you like to get dinner on Friday at 7" or something.

I was in a similar situation recently. Asked a girl to hang after our first time meeting up, we made very vague plans for "some time this week" and then she got sick.
So the next time I asked I made my plan very specific. We're going out on Sunday.
>>
>>16717108
You sound like an Angry Asexual.
I mean, I get it. Sexuals baffle me too. But I just think it's hilarious how sex rules their life. A lot have told me how jealous they are of me being content without getting laid or masturbating.
>>
>>16717404
try to be the first one to bring up family. that way, you can ask her about her parents, which will likely lead her to ask about your parents, and then you can mention your mother

otherwise, first ask yourself how you would want her to tell you if she had a parent who'd passed away? secondly, would it be better to bring it up too early or to wait too long to tell her where she feels like you were trying to keep it from her for some reason?

if anything you can tell her too early but add that you're still not sure how to bring up the subject
>>
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>>16716715
Letting you know where he is increases safety and adds a layer of redundancy. It's helpful, and if you've expressed your feelings and told him you want him to do so, this becomes his problem.

>>16716899 More. I'm only really compatible with weird girls, because of reasons.
It's ok to be weird, and as you probably know, you are sought-after on these boards.

Question for girls:
Can I win someone over by showing them something I've written that I'm proud of, if they like it? I get the sense that it might make them think there's more to me than they can see.
>>
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>>16717108
I understand completely. I believe that sex is a metaphysical union between two people, and you are both taking a part of the person you're with inside of you forever and at the same time giving a part of yourself to them forever. I don't look at sex with the same carnal lens everyone else does.
>>
>>16717465
>I believe that sex is a metaphysical union between two people

Triggered
>>
>>16716899
I'd say the board matters a lot. I'd probably get along with a girl with your home boards. I've met a girl who was from /mu/ and another from /r9k/. I did not get along with either. The kind of personality who goes on either of those boards is not the type I'd connect with.

I'd like to meet an /adv/ girl someday.
>>
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>>16717471
Shitposting everywhere by you. You are aware that it's a bannable offense to post off-topic replies outside of /b/, right?
>>
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>>16717474
You want the tumblr page of one? I met her off /adv/.
I was going out with her for a while but it didn't work.
Reply if interested.
>>
>>16717426
i feel like everytime i make super specific plans with a girl they flake and i've always had the most success with just asking them then and there
>>
when talking to girls, should i say im a 'software engineer' or that i 'work in technology' or what? im worried software engineer is off putting
>>
Boys, help me compile a list of body language that is friendly and implies you're comfortable with a girl.

I'm trying to figure out what a guy's body language meant. As I was leaving I rushed over to him. Having run-walked across the entire store I was out of breath. So I kind of put my gloved hands on the counter and leaned down, catching my breath. My hood was up making my face kind of hard to see in this position. Guy I'm crushing on, but can never tell him, leans down and closer, as if trying to look at my face, or trying to see if I was alright.

My guess: he was just trying to make eye contact.

But still can you guys help list body language that's positive toward a girl?
>>
>>16717509
the whole point of body language is that you feel it implicitly, you dont actually watch and actively process it like you would with words

besides youre a fucking girl, just ask him out and he will say yes, you dont need to worry about this shit
>>
>>16717509
Sounds like Something Insignificant™ to me. He might not have recognized you with your hood up and wanted to see who had approached him.
Or he wanted to be polite and look you in the eyes while talking to you. Or your exhausted panting turned him on so much that he wanted to burn the image into his mind.

This question isn't really any different if it's a girl asking instead of the usual guy. There are so many answers you can't pinpoint one without 110% of the context.
>>
>>16717492

Just say "IT Nerd" or that you're in computing or something. There's no cool way to say "Software Engineer" without lying so you have to laugh it off confidently.

>>16717509

If a guy is willingly putting his face closer to yours, thats probably a good sign
>>
>>16717492
Say software engineer. It sounds more impressive than just saying you work in technology or something vague like that.
>>
>>16717509
>Guy I'm crushing on, but can never tell him
underage B& plz go

also body language is something unconsciously transmitted AND unconsciously picked up on.

If you pay attention to it you're going to end up posting moronic things like 'omg his feet were angles away from me is he cheating'
>>
Why do women so often become uncomfortable when as a man I express a very sensitive and emotional sexuality, and at the same time take offense when I become uncomfortable with their aggressive, carnal sexuality?
>>
>>16715976
you might want to evaluate how much you want a s/o if you don't want to date
>>16716055
it's only as awkward as you choose to make it
>>16716104
if she didn't outright accept/counter-offer a different time for a date, it's a rejection
>>16716153
no
>>16716573
depends on what you two want. I've fucked on the first date, I've had sexless relationships, it doesn't matter
>>16716715
it's a little controlling to ask that he fills you in on 100% of what he's doing
>>16716737
if you didn't have consent for the sexual act, it's rape
>>16716899
wouldn't be a positive or negative thing i guess
>>16717007
it's not private anymore because of reasons, it won't be private again unless shit hits the fan hard enough to plunge us into a pseudo-dark age
>>16717037
that's more of a people thing, and the evidence of one anecdotal situation won't fix the hate in someone's heart
>>16717404
it's a significant part of your life, it'll come up eventually so might as well mention it
>>16717509
if you're concerned about reading body language, read PUA shit
>>
>>16717563
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
read the OP and fuck off faggot
>>
>girl takes 15 hours to respond to a text with "yes"
>it wasn't even a yes or no-question
Should I just drop this girl already? This keeps happening

She went from ridiculously clingy to ridiculously uncaring. In person she practically avoids me, and over text I have to put up with this bullshit. It's like I'm talking to a wall, which makes me feel like shit because everyone I talk to puts up walls and she was the first person in ages who didn't
>>
Question for girls. There's this girl I like and want to go out with. Asking her out is kind of the problem as I effectively never see her alone, the three or so months I've known her there's never been a good time. Would texting her be considered at all acceptable? I don't want to ring her as 1) I'm not good at talking on the phone and 2) its not really a "done" thing in my country.
>>
>text girl for a few months
>she responds instantly everytime and starts conversations
>if i don't text first she never texts me
>get concerned that she's just responding to be nice, so i don't message her for 2 days
>get text today "are you mad at me??"

why do girls think like this..she's literally never texted me first but she assumes i'm mad at her because i didn't text her
>>
>>16717604
text is fine, but it shouldnt be "random". you have to be having a good conversation PRIOR to asking her out.

my current boyfriend's first "sign of interest" was when he said "you should let me take you on a date" to which i said yes sure, and then we just carried on with other stuff but the date ideas were peppered into the conversation.

dont just be like "hey, wanna go out with me?" if you don't already have a conversation going
>>
>>16717624
Ok cool, I text her quite frequently about a variety of things. Like I say, I think most of the "ground work" as it were is there just finding the right timing you know? Thanks for your advice though I hope you guys are doing ok.
>>
>>16717452
Ok then, I didn't want to find a girl anyway. I tried to help.
>>
would a girl be interested in taking a guys virginity?

I know most women are turned off by this in guys but are their some that would like to take a guys V-card, as a favour? as an achievement? as an ego boost?
>>
To anyone :

I've met this girl on Okcupid. We talked once. Then she came back two days later and talked to me. Then asked for my facebook account link. We talked some more every day during the week end, then she pushed me into asking her to come in town and meet me.

Our meeting was tonight. It went well. Lots in common.

When I arrived home i sent her a text saying that I found her "lovely" actually used the english word because she likes it and was looking forward to seeing her again.

The rest of the discussion went like this (translated):

>her : no one ever said they found me lovely before xD Same for me

>me : well my thoughts were "you're lovely. You're cute as fuck and I like you" but I usually keep my english thoughts to myself. But you like english so...Then again i could stop.

>her : No. I like it. Thanks by the way !

So...Is it on good tracks? What should I do next? She may come to a party I'll be at tomorrow.
>>
>>16717633
More like as a fetish for corrupting your innocence
>>
Legitimate question for women, not trolling or being rude. Just curious about the biology.

Can women's breasts secrete milk any time in your life, or only when you are pregnant/child rearing? Like could you breastfeed your friend's child if you've never had a child yourself?

Please this is a real question, I am not trying to be rude.
>>
>>16717644
but it is a thing?
I've heard a few stories but y'know stories

also I think im out of luck then because the innocence aspect is lost at the age of 28.
>>
>>16717645
It's generally only birth hormones that allow you to secrete milk. I have heard that if a baby suckles you enough you might start to produce after like a week or so, but never personally experienced that.
>>
>>16717465
>tfw no same wingspan gf
>>
>>16717645
I've never heard of anyone who wasn't pregnant lactating

>>16717647
Lol not innocence as in young age, but innocence as inexperience with sex. That's part of the reason I went after the guy who's been my boyfriend for over 5 years. When they've never fucked anyone before, you can teach them exactly what you like
>>
>>16717641
You have literally nothing to worry about, she's obviously into you.
>>
>>16717674
how old where you and him at the time?
>>
>>16716546
Grills never get over Chad. Best to move on son.
>>
>>16717698
I was 17 and he was 16 i'm pretty sure
>>
>>16716565
Why is it Redditors think that liking someone is equal to just wanting to fuck and toss?
>>
I'm not asking for advice on what to do cause its over, my question is to why it happened.

>Add random girl on FB cause i think she is cute and we have lots of mutual friends
>Don't talk to her
>Get on Tinder and going through girls, her profile comes up.
>Swipe right
>As soon as I swipe, it says match meaning she had already swiped me
>Message her on Tinder and she doesnt answer
>Wait a couple of weeks and then I hit her up on FB for small talk
>Then ask her out for coffee
>She says yes, let me see what days I'm off
>Never messages me back
>I messaged her only one more time and she ignored

Why???

To spare my feelings? She doesnt even know me. And a simple decline would have been ok. Or even a lie.

But why even "match me" in the first place?
>>
>>16717719
We don't know her. We can't tell you why. The only thing we both know is she was interested and then she wasn't.

If she did not have interest, is it really worth trying to figure out why? It could be anything from some shit you posted on Facebook to getting murdered.
>>
For the gentlemen present, I give you the following...
I was at a party last weekend with a bunch of pals, including a guy friend I hadn't seen in awhile. For the sake of the story, let's call him Vince. Everyone was having a blast, but when it's time for Vince to leave, on a whim I decide to see him out. We walk arm in arm towards the exit, talking about how we should spend more time together, all smiles and hugs. During the last hug, just before he leaves, we briefly lock eyes. Our faces were so close, suddenly he does a small jump (I'm about an inch or two taller) and kisses me on the forehead. I return the favor by kissing him on the cheek. As he leaves he's triumphantly pumping his fists in the air and yelling about how he's leaving the party with lipstick on his face.
What I want to know is, did Vince and I have a moment? Or am I just seeing things that aren't really there?
>>
>>16716715
It's pretty reasonable to want to know when he's going out or whatever. It gets iffy when you tell him when he can get out instead.

If he was previously talkative I'd try to figure out the root of the change, but if he's just ignoring your requests I'd think twice about what this relationship is worth to you.

>>16716899
Potentially interesting, but not a big deal. The biggest perk is I could be more open with my power level potentially the way I see it.

It wouldnt really be what makes or breaks anything.
>>
>>16717772
was it a moment to you? if you wanted it to be it was. vince thought it was anyway.

vince pumped his fists, it sure as hell was a moment to him
>>
>>16717828
Holy cow...
Okay, what should I do next? I almost never see this guy because we're both so busy. Seriously, it was almost a fluke that he made it to that party. Should I say something?
>>
>>16717772
Yes.
>>
>>16717847
Ask him on a date
>>
>>16717645
It can happen! My friend did it. You have to take sketchy hormones and liberally massage your breasts for hours daily.
>>
>>16717855
Oh golly...ohmahgawd...okay holy shit...
GAH what kind of date!?
>>
How bad would it be for me, as a 20 year old woman, to pursue a 15 year old?
Not even anything lewd, just cute dates and hand holding...
>>
>>16717888
Depending on what state you're in, it could be illegal. In general its just plain gross. 15? Ew! Boys are soooo goddamn gross at that age! Don't do it!
>>
>>16717878

ice cream, then doing a puzzle or something at the park

dinner & a movie, fly a kite if youre near a beach, go walk downtown, its not that hard

>>16717888

i swear to god you people are worse than the 'is it rape if'

YOU FUCKING KNOW what the answer is, youre just consumed enough by the idea to the point youll ask for the opinions of strangers on a mongolian finger painting forum because you know damn well what answer you'd get in real life

just wait five years, im twenty & i know id be pretty keen on a twenty five year old wanting a relationship
>>
>>16717924
>YOU FUCKING KNOW what the answer is
What I really needed is someone to tell me that it's a bad idea. Thank you.
>>
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Girls,
at what point during dating would you say it's "getting serious"?
>>
>>16718041
6 months
>>
is there really a point in dating at 21?
>>
Alright Im really horny. Havent gotten laid in 3 months. Havent masturbated either. Theres a college party tomorrow night and I want to get laid.
Women what do I have to do to pick up a slut. Im fairly attractive though Ive gotten out of shape so I can make girls wet with my looks anymore.
how aggressive should I be. How touchy.
>>
>>16718041
When I'm not chatting up other people he's the one I'm focusing on. When I'd see the relationship lasting longer than 3 months. When I feel comfortable around him, able to say anything. When my mom starts teasing me about how much I like him.
>>
>>16718046
Dating and relationship experience

If you don't make enough to buy a house in a 1 to 4 year range saving at 40-60% then you should date and have fun
>>
How often is typical for a couple to meet when they're in the 20-30 age range? Back in highschool I saw my out-of-town boyfriend 2-5 times a week, and we moved in together so saw each other everyday.

With my schedule with college and work now, I can only really see myself seeing anyone once a week, maybe every other week. I could do twice a week if I abandoned seeing my friends ever. But I don't want to isolate myself.

Is that normal? Would a typical straight guy/lesbian girl feel comfortable with that arrangement or is it kind of unusual?
>>
>>16718048
talk to 2 or 3 girls at the same time, pref in different groups of people.

then you pick one at 3 am to fuck

About your last thing well... it depends on the chick, dont be a dick and don't make fun of other men unless these men allow you
>>
>>16718060
First you are a degenerate
Second you have to find someone who prioritizes career ( not work) over you or someone else but still wants to be with you.

So yeah, if you find a good self centered person ( not a degenerate most likelly) you can do it by seeing once a week.
If you work close you can have 1 hour meet ups.
>>
>>16717719
tinder isn't really a good litmus test for if a girl likes you or not
>girls use it to stroke their ego
>high volume compliment/attention phishing
>easy 4-5X as many matches and messages as you'll get in a month
she was probably just being "nice" by saying yes and never responding
>>
>>16717888
>trips check'd
bad, very bad
at best
>become a social pariah among your peers
>be viewed as nothing more than a piece of older ass by the boy
at worst
>statutory rape charges
>>
>>16718046
date so you're not an autist when you want to get serious with someone
>>
>>16716168
I haven't spoken to her in 3 days now and I'm really trying to build the relationship here. Is it okay to just text again even though she hasn't replied?
In the past I've always been too full-on with texting and this girl's told me she didn't like this last guy because he was clingy, don't want to fuck this up.
>>
>>16718100
can't just working on being a decent human being help that?
>>
>>16718064
this isnt really helpful. Which is why I was asking for a womans advice
>>
>>16716344
Bump
>>
>>16716344
Literally anything, you're not getting responses because you're not an 8 and up.

I'm sorry but it's true.
>>
>>16718111
you want to run that sentence through Hemingway and try again?
>>
How would a woman feel if I asked her to put on a condom
>>
>>16718067
Why am I a degenerate?
>>
>>16716170
>dating is a silly idea from movies
I don't understand this. How do you differentiate casually hanging out, like friends, then?
>>
>>16718227
In what context?
>>
>>16718142
No I appreciate the honesty, does this hold true for girls with average attractiveness? I'm not going after 10/10s here but maybe 7/10
>>
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>>16718100
I never understood this perspective. 90% of a healthy relationship is just being willing to get over your ego and communicate.
>>
I went to a guy's place for our third date. I asked to use his computer since my mother texted me saying I need to forward her something.

I did just a tiny bit of snooping (typed "P" in address bar) and it's full of porn. All of it is facesitting or femdom.

I don't know if I want to see him anymore, this is a little weird honestly. Was I wrong to snoop?
>>
>>16718264
About to have sex
But if you want to add, what if you were a really good friend. Like brotier hangout for hours everyday friend
>>
>>16718262
Why would you? The big difference is the 1 on 1 aspect, romance and kissing/fucking when you get beyond casual friendship with your "date."
>>
>>16717007
Orgy porgy!
>>
>>16718284
I think it would add in to the foreplay. I wouldn't be shocked or anything. She might be surprised if she's never actually done it before. Make sure she's pinching the tip to keep the lil bubble at the end.

If a friend said that I'd assume he was joking and either laugh or be uncomfortable, depending on our friendship.
>>
Do you care how long I last if you're satisfied? Is the whole "men don't last long in bed" thing strictly about being unsatisfied or thinking he's bad at sex?

I cum in two minutes. Maybe three. I can cum just from kissing or eating out a chick. I have a very sensitive cock I guess. But I try to focus on the woman much longer than there's focus on me.

>eat her out, finger her, massage her for 30 minutes
>fuck for 120 seconds, cum
>cuddle, kiss a bit more
>done

She orgasms at least once. That's all that matters, right? I won't be seen as a wimp for cumming so soon as long as she's satisfied, right?
>>
All: As a college aged male, is there any point in dating? It seems like girls my age aren't interested in dates generally. Ive gotten the feeling from a few that they were actually uncomfortable with the formality of going on a date. I really just wanna get laid. Should I just ask to Netflix and chill?
>>
Is it possible to become alpha? How do I develop charisma? I have such a passive, low energy personality
>>
>>16718300
>can cum just from kissing or eating out a chick.
thats very weird

but good for you btw, it's not a bad thing, just think of baseball when eating pussy and you are good to go for those nice 3 min of dicking
>>
>>16718300
That sounds wonderful. The stereotype I'd say is when a guy does minimal foreplay, pumps three times, and falls over dead asleep while she's wondering what happened.
I'd take great satisfaction in being able to make you cum easily. I'd probably try to make you orgasm at inconvenient times. Fun game.
>>
>>16718283
Yes your in the wrong snooping in a man private life without his concern. How would you like it if he went through your stuff to see what your hiding. With that all said and done if you really like the guy talk to him about it. If not just end it.

talk about mild; he could have been into some really crazy shit.
>>
>>16718283
thats really nothing...

like thats normie tier fetishes.

the fuck is wrong with you? it's his fucking privacy
>>
>>16718306
I would like to ask the same question for a different purpose. I really just want someone to love, hang out with, and go on dates with.
>>
>>16717204
those are just the main boards i go on, i frequent most of the porn boards whenever i'm getting ready to rub one out

>>16716920
finally nice to see someone that's not being a hypocrite, i would love to date someone and shit post at the same time with them

>>16717474
i do go on /adv/ pretty often myself, although i wouldn't say i frequent it as often as the other ones i listed. but yeah, what you said makes a lot of sense, i do feel that a lot of people tend to stick with certain boards and it says a lot about them

>>16716914
what if the girl has other hobbies, just does this one when she's not doing any of them atm? i volunteer at a wolf sanctuary and do a lot of reading/studying for a major in biochem. would 4chan still be a big turn off?

>>16716905
but wouldn't you still be able to share the same humor? i personally hate /b/, would that still be a factor that makes her less attractive?


thanks again for everyone answering the question, i don't feel quite so bad about things
>>
>>16716899

Lets say i REALLY like her then
If she kept it to herself, then yes im ok with it

otherwise FUCK OFF
>>
>>16718272
learn through experience
>>
>>16718306
girls want to date and hookup and shit like that, 90% of them are just shit-tier at carrying a conversation
>>
>>16718390
>i volunteer at a wolf sanctuary and do a lot of reading/studying for a major in biochem
These sound like big pluses for sure. If you have a life outside of casually consuming shit, be it 4chan, Facebook, vidya or whatever, it'd be bearable for sure.

>would 4chan still be a big turn off?
Depends whether the time you spend on it is "big" too. My girlfriend browses it too occasionally but also does so much that's positive for her development as a person, that 4chan is negligible and not even big enough to be a factor to even think about.

Given how you used "obsessed" the time you waste on it is probably significant enough to be a turn off but nothing that would make you undateable I guess.
>>
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Girls:

How can i tweak my cowgirl game? (as in sex position...)
I'm petite and he's rather big so the stance of my legs really limit my range of motions, leaving me exhausted pretty fast. Besides working on my stamina, what are some things i can do immediately to make it even better?
>>
>>16718486
Get a cowboy hat and wave it around
>>
>>16718492
Do i have to yell "jihaaa" too?
>>
>>16718513
Yes. It helps if you brand him too.
>>
>>16718486
the best girls at cowgirl position were actually horse rider for me, it's just insane how good they can move their hips.

Maybe do some horse riding class ? :p
>>
>>16718513
Did you mean, "jihaad" because if so then you're doing Allah's will.
>>
Men, how often do you get angry at your significant other? How do you act and handle situations when you're dissatisfied with their actions or how they're acting?
>>
>>16718595
>How do you act and handle situations when you're dissatisfied with their actions or how they're acting?
There's no real magic trick to this. I tell them I'm frustrated with how they've been acting and why. If the relationship is worth two shits, they'll listen to me and we'll talk about it. Vice versa if I'm the one fucking up.
>>
>>16718595
how often ? I don't know ! depends of the girl i guess, i was with a kind of immature girl once, so i was often angry because she didnt did the basics, like a teenager...
How do i act ? Well, by communicating of course, i tell them what's bothering me and why.
>>
So, a bit of an outplayed question for the women: what do you like receiving for something like Valentine's?

My girlfriend's pretty far right now, so I'll be sending something. I'm thinking of going to the local asian market and packing some snacks since she's into those. I'll also include an item based on something she likes. I'm also thinking of getting a bouquet of flowers (pink, her favorite color) mailed to her, but I don't know, I feel like flowers would be boring.
>>
>>16718614
sounds pretty solid to me. get her a cute stuffed animal instead of flowers though. the bigger the better
>>
>>16718614
Flowers are perfect! Especially since you send them in her fav color. I feel like just roses are enough. I like flowers on their own better than an elaborated bouquet.
Make sure you include a sweet little nite or even a letter in your package. If you want to go all out, a tiny necklace would be goat. One with a simplistic and small heart for her to wear every day. Maybe try to remember if she wears more silver or gold stuff and go with her preferences. Cut the teddy. I wouldn't want to display a stuffed animal in my home. Unless you made it yourself. But if she's 16 she might still be happy to get one.
>>
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My gf and I are in a rut. We had a fight a couple days ago because while we were both overweight (not obese), I've started going to the gym as of October and gradually am seeing how I change. She says that I'm doing it to attract other girls and once I'm fit I won't find her attractive or not.

I don't give a fuck what she looks like, she's kind and smart, has passion and drive. Her being mad at me is out of the ordinary for her.

I was 250lbs at 6'2 and am now 212lbs. She's 190lbs at 5'9. I'm finally showing some definition in my abs and some vascularity, my face looks different, too. I thought she'd find it sexy as hell but she's just mad.

I'm in an awkward spot because if I break up with her, it'll only reaffirm what she thinks. Our relationship is strained but I'm doing this for my health. Does my health come before the relationship? She doesn't think so, and this is why I want to cut it short.

Idk what to do. I don't understand her at all.
>>
>>16718661

I thought I should add: my doctor says I'm at high risk of liver cancer because of a pre-existing condition: haemachromatosis (body produces too much and/or utilizes too little iron causing blood to be too iron rich). This is incurable but other ways to reduce my risk factor include stop smoking (done), drink less (done), eat less red meat (doing), and lose weight (doing). The weight loss is the cornerstone of this, though.
>>
>>16718661
It sounds to me like she resents you for having the drive and the willpower to do something about your weight. She doesn't sound as overweight as you were, but she probably still feels fat, or at least unhealthy, compared to you. Maybe try and get her to come to the gym with you? Maybe attend classes if those are more her thing than just running on a treadmill or whatever
>>
>>16718323
This might not be the best advice but just go out there, hope this helps Anon
>>
>>16715976
If you're going from friends to in a relationship, sure. But that doesn't seem all that common

>>16716055
If you don't know her well and she knows you have other friends in the class you could have asked instead, it would come across as weird, yes

>>16716104
Take it as a no

>>16716153
No

>>16716223
Once a week isn't that unusual

>>16716436
I'd wonder why he'd held on for so long

>>16716552
You should have asked her instead. You're putting her on the spot here

>>16716573
Depends on the people

>>16716715
My boyfriend is not like that in the slightest. I'm the first to know if anything happens in his life. Are you sure you're his girlfriend and not merely a friend or FWB?

>>16716821
If you won't go down on me, I won't go down on you. Plain and simple. If you're okay with that, then I'll date you until I get bored of no oral

>>16716927
What? Are you saying that girls don't kiss guys unless they're at parties?

>>16716936
When I was a teenager and fell for the 'quiet and mysterious' type. I now know I'd rather a guy I can have fun with, rather than one who just sits and listens to me talk for hours

>>16717007
Because we're no longer the prudes we used to be 100 years ago. It's just sex, it's not a big deal

>>16717161
I'd think "I'm busy, I'll reply when I can. God, he's clingy"

>>16717492
The fact that you're a nerd is off-putting to girls that find it off-putting. Otherwise you're fine

>>16717618
Because precedent has established that it's up to you to initiate conversation and when you don't, she thinks something's wrong. There's no mystery here, you're the one who put yourself in this position

>>16717633
It's not a particular desire or mine or anything. If I had to, I would, but I don't care otherwise

>>16718046
Why wouldn't there be?

>>16718060
My boyfriend and I started dating at 21. We're 23 now and I don't see our relationship ending any time soon.

>>16718227
I'd do it? It's not a difficult task or anything
>>
>>16718306
You're asking out the wrong girls if no girls are interested in dating.
>>
>>16718758
>My boyfriend and I started dating at 21. We're 23 now and I don't see our relationship ending any time soon.
So how often do you two see each other?
>>
>>16718774
A couple of times a week. We'd like to see each other more often, but we have school and work
>>
>>16717633
>>16717633
my now ex girlfriend thought it'd be neat to take my virginity, and she did. I couldn't say why she thought it'd be neat, maybe she was trying to help me out.
>>
>>16717590
>even ignored by /adv/
Sheesh. Bump.
>>
>>16718985
It was ignored because it's a stupid question. You already know the answer
>>
>>16717590
>In person she practically avoids me
Why did you think texting would go better? Move on, it sounds like she's the one that dropped you.

>everyone I talk to puts up walls
>she was the first person in ages who didn't
And then she did. If everyone puts up walls when you talk to them, you're probably acting in a way that makes them do so.
>>
>>16719000
I'm naive enough to believe her "I'm busy" excuses and thought I'd try to stay in touch.

And how am I supposed to know what my repulsive way of acting is if the only signal I'm getting is endless walls? How am I supposed to tell?
>>
I don't have a TV, or a sofa, or a comfy chair, or netflix.

Too expensive to get.

Is this a turnoff?
>>
>>16718758
>But that doesn't seem all that common

How so?
>>
This girl I'm into just sent me an article about the storm hitting my home state. I'm fuckin' in there, right?

We're meeting for the second time tomorrow. How do I not beef this, though?
>>
>>16718758
>God, he's clingy
What. You got that out of a guy sending a girl a text?
>>
>>16716354

Better confirm hes not married. Sounds strange to me.
>>
>>16719075
i don't have a tv.
i have a sofa but you can't watch a movie from it on the pc.
i do have a comfy chair but one chair won't cut it for "nac".
i have netflix.
we never watch movies. we just fuck, cuddle and talk. way better.
>>
>>16719264
So "Netflix and chill ;)" is just code for "wanna fuck?"?

Can't we just literally say "Hey, wanna bang?" instead?

>Inb4 get with the times grandpa
>>
>>16719268
get with the times grandpa

The former leaves some ambiguity, like just chilling with a show if one person gets regrets halfway through

The other has none of that
>>
>>16719278
>get with the times grandpa

I'm getting too old for this shit.
>>
Can a girl explain this behavior to me?
greentext because it's faster.

>start dating girl I've been friends with for two or three years last summer
>not able to see each other after a couple of dates for at least a month because we're both away on holiday and so on
>I try to schedule another date, she declines and says she isn't ready for something serious
>see each other again at mutual friend's place before Christmas
>after some time and a few drinks we start talking, she shows interest
>we end up going to my place
>before anything happens she falls asleep on my couch
>she cancels plans for new years and we keep our distance
>tried to contact her last week
>she agrees to meet me and says she's looking forward to seeing me again
>literally takes 3 days to respond to my message to tell me "tomorrow is fine"
>tell her I'd already made other plans but that we'll see each other on Saturday (today) at a party we both meant to go to
>she again hasn't responded in days
>learn from my buddy who is hosting the party that she won't be there

I know for a fact that she's still interested in me so why does she pull this kind of shit on me? At this point I'm so annoyed by it that I probably won't give her another chance even though I still have strong feelings for her and even if this means that I also lose her as a friend.
Am I being insensitive and/or oblivious to anything? We both are adults. That's the kind of behavior I would expect from a 16 year old.
>>
>>16719289
If she's blowing you off and ignoring you, perhaps she isn't that interested.
>>
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>>16717114
Bumping for ideas
>>
>>16719306
Only way to escape the orbit is to apply a healthy dose of escape velocity
>>
>>16719299
three reasons why this is not the case
1. the way she acted towards me last time we saw each other
2. she ignores me on purpose and makes a point out of it
3. we used to be good friends and we've never had an argument. If she weren't interested in me anymore, she would still want to stay friends (especially since we have a huge circle of mutual friends we both don't wanna lose). That's not how you treat a friend however.
>>
>>16719289
How well do you know her? Could she has social anxiety or such?
>>
>>16719222
Confirm to her what she did was cute.
She's definitely in.

THOUGH, don't blow this by being too forward and easy now. "The game" is needed for girls too, and you can't just submit yourself entirely just because you know she's into you. She can quickly get not into you, so to speak.
>>
>>16719335
definitely no social anxiety. One of the most social persons I know. She has a history of depression though.
Last time I talked to her which was right after both of us lost one of our grandparents she told me to call her whenever I need somebody to talk to. When I said the same goes for her too, of course, she said she doesn't like to ask people for their help and emotional support because it makes her feel vulnerable.
>>
>>16719364
If I were you I'd message her asking if she's okay, and how she's dealt with the death.
She might be down, and that's the cause of it. And she might just need someone to offer themselves to be there, even if she has too much pride to admit to it.
>>
>gf asked me if I'm more of a tits or ass kind of guy
>say ass
>weeks pass, grab her ass a few times during playful flirting/cuddling on couch a few times
>go to her house to hang out out yesterday
>She kind of playfully says "Stop grabbing my ass, it's not even enough to be squeezable"
>can't tell if serious or fishing for compliments/me to do it more
>later on I do it anyways
>she doesn't act as if it's bothering her, we we're busy kissing though
>do it a few times during cuddling and stuff again
>she never mentions for me to stop again, doesn't say that it's a good thing though
So she doesn't ACTUALLY want me to stop it right? Female anons have any input?
>>
>>16719475
She probably doesn't care that you do it. However, you should compliment her on it (in words, not just actions).
Also just don't forget the rest of her, she'll want you to want all of her.
>>
Male here. How would somebody strike up a conversation via facebook that wouldn't creep you out or scream "im trying to hookup". I'm actually very interested in this girl because at first glance we have similar interests. So how would I avoid being creepy? We went to middle school together. And that was about 9 years ago.
>>
>>16719711
>hey remember me
>yes/no
>I think we were in middle school together
>want to grab a coffee and catch up
>>
>>16719785
Damn yall make this shit sound so easy. Im trying not to shake just thinking about it
>>
How do you know when a girl's ready for you to go for her breasts?
>>
>>16719821
Kissing with any degree of passion. Just don't rush. Feel up her whole body.
>>
>>16719278
But I also cannot use proper English, right?

"Hello, would you like to come over to my place to relax and watch Netflix shows with me?"

Or would it just sound completely and utterly retarded?
>>
>>16719711
Bumping myself. What if she just gsts weirded out from the start? I cant imagine this is that easy
>>
>>16719711
>>16720092
Focus on talking about your common interests. I'd wait to send out flirtation signals until a week or two.
Make it out like you just want to become her friend, which you do too!
>>
>>16716899
>/v/
CALL THE TRASHMEN
>>
>>16719941
Proper English does not mean "sound euphoric"

Talk normally. Don't dumb yourself down just because you want to fit in, and don't speak Fedora because you want to stand out
>>
>>16717492

'Work in technology' sounds like question-dodging or a euphemism for something much less impressive.
Just say software engineer, can't think of why it would be off putting.
>>
>>16720726
>Talk normally.
>normally

Why is "netflix & chill" considered normal?

In my honest opinion its one of the most retarded sounding things mankind has ever spoken in its genetic history.
>>
>>16715824
Girls: At one point in a relationship do you think it is acceptable for a guy to touch you, or I guess, hold hands with etc.?

Sometimes for me it's the first date, sometimes the third. One time I tried holding a girls hand on a second date and she broke it off right there immediately (feels ._.)

I'm not asking for an absolute answer, but for you, personally, how do you gauge your consent to allow that to happen?
>>
>>16720868

It's just a sneaky forced marketing slogan.
>>
>>16720900

I don't think this is something you can really nail down. Even thinking of my personal boundaries, there are too many variables.

I think it's something where you just have to go by instinct, being observant of her signals, etc.

The girl who broke it off after you tried to hold her hand probably didn't do it just because of that. And if that was the deal breaker, it was probably about what that misstep signified about your different attitudes, or just the physical touch cementing for her that she wasn't interested, etc.
>>
Girls,
In highschool, I weighed roughly 290-300 lbs, and over the past year or so I've dropped about 100 of them. When would be a good time to tell someone I'm talking to about it if at all? There is some loose skin, but most people don't really notice unless it's pointed out to them.
>>
>>16720900
Chances are you are just hella ugly or socially inept.
>>
>netflix & chill

I don't even have Netflix.

Is it good?

>Inb4 Freemium
>>
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>>16720918
Fair enough of an answer, I agree that a lot of it tends to vary on the situation.

Last night I went out on a date with a girl and she def was keeping her hands far away from mine, or so it seemed, but then when I dropped her off by her car, we made out for like, ten minutes, and did hand holding, light petting, etc. It was weird, I def thought it wasn't going to happen. Girls are so hard to read sometimes.

I can't even begin to explain what happened to the other girl. And I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me, and kind of embarrassed me a bit. Luckily it was a while ago and I've been able to accept it and move on, but I still play that night through my head and try to figure out if I did anything blasphemous or stupid.

My friends, whom we met through, I'm too embarrassed to ask them what she said about it, to be honest.
>>
>>16720926
Not at all or until a good way into a relationship (1 month or so perhaps).
This goes for most things sensitive.
>>
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>Have gf for one year
>Friends make plans for us all to go to Dublin for my 21st birthday weekend, literally pay my way
>Gf can't go that particular weekend
>Gives me shit for it, says she wouldn't be going at all if she was in my position and that I should want to spend my birthday with her.
>In fairness to her, she missed my birthday last year because I arranged it on a day that meant the most people could go, not to suit her.

Is this controlling? Or does she have a valid point here? I can't decline my friends because it's one of the nicest things anyone has done for me. At the same time, I don't know if she's being rational or if this is really unfair.
>>
>>16721011
She's in love, it isn't always rational. Plan for some really romantic event in which you two can celebrate separately. Also make it clear (lie if you have to) that there is no way in hell you'd party crazily, get drunk and make out with other girls.
Call her a few times whilst in Dublin to keep her from worrying.
>>
>>16721011

Hard to say. It'd be crazy of you not to go on the trip, but considering last year I can see why she'd be upset at being left out - last year you flat out didn't factor her in, which is pretty poor form, and now she has to miss out on sharing a pretty big event with you.

You're going to have to pull out all the stops when HER birthday rolls around.
>>
girls, do you actually like rejecting people? must be quite a thrill publicly humiliating people lol, especially when they like do all the work essentially and you just trash them
>>
>>16721046

Fuck no, I'd prefer no one ever approach me to begin with.
>>
>>16721046
No. It makes me feel terrible
>>
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>>16721046
I get wet every time I see a beta nerd with tears in his eyes as I pretend I have a boyfriend when I actually just have 3 fwbs
>>
>>16721046
No, but we like being wanted. So we might flirt just so you'll show you want us, and then the rejection is just a sad side effect.
>>
>>16721055
why?

>>16721060
how do you mean? like can you expand on that?

>>16721071
that is pretty sociopathic dont you think?
>>
>>16721046
my hatred of rejecting people is how i got my four first boyfriends
>>
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>>16721087
You spineless directionless meathole

You bring a smile to my face
>>
>>16721085
"Pumping and dumping" girls is pretty sociopathic too, but guys do it a lot. We're all driven by our instincts.
>>
>>16721085
>how do you mean? like can you expand on that?
I don't like to make people feel bad. I'm really picky with relationships now after some bad ones. So I'm not turning them down because they're bad people or ugly or inherently flawed. But people assume that and then they feel bad about themselves. It makes ME feel like a bad person. I caused this and that makes me terrible.
>>
>>16721085
>why?
Because 100% of the time I'm not interested, and at least 80% of the time the guy is a pushy jerk - which is why some women are instinctively rude to anyone who approaches at all.

>how do you mean? like can you expand on that?
You need someone to explain why making someone feel terrible makes them feel terrible too?
>>
>>16721103
Women are designed to be pumped and dumped
>>
>>16721111
And men like you are designed to be rejected.
>>
So what works best for a woman getting her clit licked? I tend to suck and lick sideways at the same time, but i feel (the clit with my tongue) that maybe I could go around it in a circular motion.

Do women prefer having their clit sucked and licked across, or is it better when I don't suck and put pressure with my tongue and go in a circular motion?

If both, does changing around work well too? My fiancee likes when i suck and lick sideways, but i feel like i dont give enough attention to her clit as a whole. What else could i do to make her orgasm multiple time? I like to mix things up and keep her guessing.

Sorry if im not too clear. I'm drunk as fuck and i miss the warmth and taste of my fiancee. I dont see her for another few months and i want to give her the best reunion oral she's had to date.
>>
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>>16721109
>Oh boohoo someone is interested in me romantically
God women are so full of themselves.
>>
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>>16721120
I have a girlfriend
>>
>>16721103
i think the emotional toying is pretty mean. at least with 'pumping and dumping' (which i dont do for the record) both parties get something out of it, theres a resolution, whereas just leading guys on for your own benefit is p nasty

>>16721107
i see, do you know if any of your friends are like the person im replying to above?

>>16721109
are you not interested because they dont live up to your standards or youre just not looking for a relationship or something
>>
>>16721125
sucking clit = amazing
circular motion = amazing
shoving your tongue as deep inside as possible = amazing

seriously, tongue anywhere around there is good. two pieces of advice:
1. when she seems like she's getting close, do not see this as the opportunity to go harder/softer/do something different. if what you're doing is working and she's about to cum, keep on doing what you're doing. lady orgasms are like deer and the slightest change can scare them away
2. after you make her cum the first time, give her a few seconds before you start round 2, and for fuck's sake go a lot lighter at first. it's hard to enjoy oral when i've just had an orgasm and the guy uses the exact same pressure on my now extremely sensitive clit. twitches from overstimulation are not the good kind
>>
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>>16721142

HPV = Amazing
>>
>>16721142
My fiancee tells me when to stop by putting her hands on my ears so i know exactly when to go gentle as i can feel the air change around my ears when she's nearing the end of orgasm.

So if i want to go again, i should start really gentle? Should that be kissing her clit, or should i lick really lightly? Goddamn thinking about this is making me diamonds ;_;
>>
>>16721148
good thing there's a male vaccine
>>
>texting girl for a few weeks (everyday)
>realize that i've always texted her first
>not sure if she's just replying to be polite or if she's actually wanting to talk
>stop texting her
>4 days later, she hasnt texted me at all

so this is case closed right? she was never interested? i need closure or i'm gonna keep thinking about it..
>>
>>16721156

90% vaccine efficacy in preventing genital warts and 75% vaccine efficacy in preventing anal precancers in men

Not worth the risk
>>
>>16721155
lick really lightly. like the lighter the better, at least at first. just gotta give her clit time to calm down and get ready for another orgasm
>>
>>16721170
Awesome. Many thanks <3
>>
>>16721135
>i see, do you know if any of your friends are like the person im replying to above?
Well it's happened to me accidentally before. I'm more careful now, but I've had it before where I thought I was harmlessly flirting with a guy, but he got invested and attached.
>>
>>16721162
if she's used to you texting first, you not texting might mean that you've been super busy the past few days or that you no longer want to talk to her. i'm not just saying that to try and get your hopes up. i'm used to my boyfriend saying good morning first, and if he doesn't then i assume he's still sleeping so if he waits on me to text, i don't text him until practically past noon

i'm just saying maybe she's gotten used to you texting first, like that's the normal pattern so when you don't follow the pattern she thinks you're busy or that you no longer want to talk to her. but it could also be that she's busy or that she doesn't want to talk to you.
>>
>>16721197
ughhhh

the ride never ends ;..;
>>
>>16721239
That really only applies for short term and established relationships.

I would say your case is still closed
>>
Women, can you help me out with a few signs here?
There used to be this girl when I was 17, we met her at a bar and we hung out and always went out drinking after that. She'd always sit on my lap, she'd sleep at my place because she lived outside of town, we shared the same bed, talk a lot and she wouldn't complain when I wrapped my arm around her when we went to bed. But she had a boyfriend at the time, and in the end contact kinda broke up. Did she just use me as a cheap place to stay at or did she probably want more at that point and I was just too dumb to realize that at the time?
>>
>>16721275
her boyfriend was probably shitty and she wanted you. i sure as hell wouldn't sleep in the same bed as a guy unless i was interesting in boning and/or a relationship
>>
>>16721281
As far as I know he hit her later and they broke up, I was just really confused at that point, she was incredibly cute and good looking and I was fat and not exactly attractive. I thought I never had a chance so I never went for it.
>>
Some girl off tinder unmatched me but didn't text to cancel our date. Should I cancel or text her on the day to see if she's coming? Never met her so idc but she could be an ok shag.
>>
>>16721328
If you don't care than sure, what do you have to lose?
>>
It's pretty normal for men to have a wank before bed, is the same true for women? Do you masturbate before you go to sleep sometimes so you can fall asleep easier?
>>
If it's not a date, is it weird to try to make a plan to meet a second time at the end?
>>
So. my ex and i broke up 3 years ago, we we're 16 at the time and we broke mainly because we were far away from each other. Time passed and last summer we started talking again, and we enjoyed it. So, she moved do college, and so did I, to the same city :)
In october I asked her out and we went to the movies, we had a good time and she said she was looking forward for the next time. Plot twist: since our date we talked during a week, and she stopped answering my messages. WTF did i do wrong? I just don't get it
>>
>>16721374
Yep nothing.
>>
>>16721405
>WTF did i do wrong?
Why do you assume it's all about you? Maybe she's second guessing whether she's ready to reopen those old feelings. But who knows. We're not mind readers.
>>
>>16721400
Why would it be? I like to continue to see my friends.

>>16721328
Go ahead and assume she's continuing to come. But send a confirmation the day prior, "I'll see you tomorrow at 3:30 at Coffee Café!"
>>
>>16721415
She'd send me photos of us together in the old times, and saying she missed that. Even after the date, she told me "you're in love me" (not exactly, but the best translation), and I answered "no, you are" and she said "why aren't we both"? like you know what she ment, and the all of a sudden, no more news from her
>>
>>16721453
We aren't mind readers. Go consult your local psychic.
>>
>>16721503
local psychic? what? i'm just wondering why she might have done that?
>>
>>16721512
Excuse me. I'm making jokes. I'm saying that we can't know why she does these things. It goes on in her head. We can't see inside her head. You need to ask her. We can't answer your question. There is no answer to your question.
>>
>>16721394
It's probably less about, "I should do this so I can sleep better." And more about, "Ah, finally in bed after a long day, and I feel kind of horny. This will be fun..."
>>
>>16721570
Then I suppose it's different, for most men it's literally just something to calm you down and make you fall asleep faster.
>>
>>16721453
When she said "why aren't we both?" what did you say?
That's an important answer.
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