I started a thread here the other night, I'm an alcoholic and my gf had come home one day to find out I had been drinking, it wasn't that much but I had quite some clean time and this was terrible. She kicked me right out. Now I have finally regained contact with her today (after a week) and she has shed some light on why she is so pissed.
I had originally thought I had 3 beers because I saw them on the counter when I was tossed out (I was passed out and she came home) turns out there was 2 more in a bag in the bathroom. So that doesn't look good, I get that. What is really fucked up is that I was sending her emails from the hotel for hours after all this. I have no recollection of this. And the emails were horrible, I have no clue why I would say these things. I never check my outgoing mail so I didn't know until she started talking to me again. I have no idea why I wouldn't text instead. And I do find it strange that I would blackout after 5 beers.
Now she has agreed to see me again so I can see the dog and I have no idea what to say to her. She took all of my stuff out of the house and is, with very good reason, PISSED OFF. All this time I thought she was pissed about the drinking and I had no idea I sent the emails. So I really have no clue what to say. I'm honestly sorry and I understand why she's so livid but it was like I lost my mind, not even like I was drunk. Is there a mental condition that would cause this? It's like the beer and emails were a series of actions that were self destructive, not like the beer actually caused it.
I had suggested that she faked a rape to get a huge settlement. I told her that she would burn in hell. I made fun of her family. I suggested that I was watching her on surveillance and that I knew she was cheating on me.
Yeah, that is kind of a game changer...
A shame you can't pawn that off on someone else.
Apologize, explain, and apologize some more.
If it makes you feel any better, I got blackout drunk at work and was fired the next day. Unemployment FTW.
Well, she is still pissed. And I don't blame her but I sent her an word.doc this morning going over all the horrible things I said, and I corrected every one while sober. She appreciated that. I still don't know if there is any chance but at least I could do that.
Ask her to help you look for a good rehab place.
Not only is it showing you want to get better, respect her opinion, and involve her in your health, but it also puts an aspect of power into her hands.
Unless you just want to keep on drinking, in which case, enjoy your booze.
All the guys who've said "rehab" are right on the money.
If you haven't, you also need to express to her what you've told us: that you're completely bewildered by this and don't know what made you say it all. Something along the lines of,
"I'm not trying to get out of this. I accept responsibility for what I said. I have no idea why I said it, though. I don't believe any of that stuff, at all; it's like I was just trying to hurt you, which I can't understand. I know my drinking is a huge problem but even I don't get like that when I'm drunk."
Then tell her this,
"Clearly I can't predict what I'm like when I drink anymore. I didn't realize that. I don't think I can let myself be drunk, ever again."
Then do this,
Or at the very least enroll in AA.
You really can't let yourself get drunk again. You realize that, right? In a way you're almost lucky; you didn't do or say anything that'll land you in jail, but that's liable to happen eventually if you have no idea what kind of person you'll turn into when you're drunk.
My ex left me when I was going into rehab.
Do not bank on this. Going through withdrawal, and a long-term relationship ending, is a Hell I wouldn't even wish on her.
That said, rehab may be a good idea, regardless. Settle things with her, first.