Does anyone have any experience with intercultural dating?
I'm a foreigner living in Japan and there's a girl I'm interested in. I think she might be into me, too. I'm a wizard and I've never dated anyone, but that isn't the focus of this thread.
How did your intercultural relationship start? What problems did you overcome? What problems couldn't you overcome?
I'd like to hear your story, and if you have any insight for me I'd appreciate it.
>meeting a girl for lunch, it's our second meeting alone
>would like to date her
>Japan has a tradition of 告白 kokuhaku, a formal confession of "love" (more like "like") with a request to begin dating
>is it too soon?
>is it ok to do in public?
>we previously discussed intercultural communication. I don't know much Japanese, but she knows English and is ok with me speaking to her in a more direct manner than is common in Japanese
I'd appreciate any insight.
Good stuff there mate. I can't say for all Japanese girls but they're pretty cool. We met while I was at work and started to date after a few meet ups. There wasn't any big problems, it's just the culture. Like she was too shy to give a goodbye kiss in public but eventually eased up, it's not common to show PDA like that over there, so there's things like that. Any questions?
Sure, but I barely know where to begin.
Oh, how about this:
Did you talk about PDA and actually discuss it, or did she just avoid it without really explaining?
Like...I know PDA is uncommon, and honestly I'm a little uncomfortable about it myself anyway, but the first time we met up to go out alone I hugged her almost immediately.
It was after midnight, nobody was around, and we were just kinda standing there after saying hello so I figured what the heck, I guess?
I'm not going to do it when there are other people around, but I wonder if I overstepped a boundary. I guess she didn't seem uncomfortable with it, though.
I also live in Japan and have been here for the past six years. I think Japanese girls are actually easier to understand than western girls once you start dating, although it's hard to tell if they like you or are just being nice when you first start going out. Might be too soon to confess...
yes. white woman here who has dated an asian man.
he made me learn chinese and adapt to his culture, and be very serious about school. i ended up going into a career path also dominated by asians- pharmacy.
I married internationally after dating for a while. I have my doubts now whether she was genuine going into it or just looking for a ticket to "rich" murica.
Several years and kids after marriage, find out she's borderline personality disorder.
>suddenly I'm understanding why almost the entire marriage years have been miserable
It's hard to recognize diagnosable psychotics in your own culture, and even harder in a foreign culture. Compound that with the fact that you have an extremely limited window into her culture with your low language ability.
Tl;dr take it really fucking slow, and if you are really interested you must work harder than you ever have to learn her language and culture as well or better than she does.
Ok, that's cool to know. I was kind of worried open, frank discussion might be difficult but maybe it's more open with couples. Which would make sense.
>made me learn
Like he helped you learn, forced you to learn, or motivated you to learn?
I appreciate the input. I'm a romantic at heart, so that's sobering to hear.
Mostly great. I'm in a decent sized city, not massive (no subway system, for instance) but large enough to have lots of nice things and foreign food.
My government apartment is cheap and my location is absurd, with everything I need in easy walking distance including mass transit.
There's a good group of foreigners here, but hanging with them lured me into the trap of not studying Japanese. Now I wish I knew more. This girl seems very keen on encouraging me, so that's a good sign.
I went through some personal stuff last year, so my experience has been rocky. But I certainly can't blame that on the country.
I'm no expert, but if you have a question please ask.
I guess nobody expects to get cheated on, but I think if I didn't trust my partner I'd have to break up with her.
I've always had an interest. When I was young anime was just starting to pick up in the U.S. I got super fucking into it and was a giant weeb for probably 6 or 7 years. As I got out of anime fandom I started reading Japanese literature.
I always wanted to try living here, but my language skills are quite poor. I studied four languages through my education and never did well, Japanese included. An old roommate who was living in Japan told me to just fucking do it, that I'd be fine.
So I did, and so far he's right. I don't plan to live here forever, but if I fall in love I'd be up for it.
I'm an Assistant Language Teacher with the JET Programme. If you want to teach English in Japan it's the best way to go, and the only way I felt comfortable enough to go. It has higher standards than private companies, but you won't get screwed over and they provide support that private companies might not.
I didn't have any teaching experience before I came.
But job expectations and responsibilities vary wildly from school to school. Some people leave because they are bored with nothing to do, some people are slammed with work. And some peome are stuck in the middle of nowhere and get super lonely.
This is a long shot, but seeing as you all have some first hand experience it can't hurt to ask.
This girl I'm interested in, the first time we met was as part of a larger group. Some of our friends knew each other. She was so shy and quiet the first time I thought she wasn't comfortable speaking much English.
We exchanged info, and she texted me once or twice, offering help to learn Japanese.
At 12:30 on New Years Eve she texts me that she's at a bar in my city, and would I like to join? Public transport had stopped, so I didn't think I could make it and she drove to pick me up.
That was our first time going out alone. It felt like a pretty bold move. Is it reasonable to read a possible romantic interest in that? I've heard spending time I've on one implies a greater intimacy in Japan than in the U.S.
I have no vision in one eye, I lack binocular vision. But I can't comprehend how my vision would be different if it worked, I just know it'd be better with two eyes.
My dick's the same way. Maybe it could be better, but I've gotta appreciate what's left.
>was in two interracial relationships
>hispanic male dating a Caucasian female and then a Chinese female
>both really fucking cool people
>white girl parents liked me a lot was pretty cool
>didn't get judged very much
>lots of blowjobs
>broke up with her cause didn't feel like i was "in love with her"
>dated Chinese girl a good year after
>was mostly online
>skyped all the time
>was a video game nerd
>chinese parents didn't like me
>didn't like the idea of her dating a non chinese male
>i gots the burrito senpai
>never really had the chance of an actual date
>eventually broke up because she "didn't feel loved"
>her friends thought i was cute then hated me
>my friends loved her to death
>distance was also an issue
the states is a lot different then tentacle town, but being you being foreign leaves a lot of skepticleness towards her parents probably, but hey why not. Fucking go for it, if love sparks, love shouldn't stop over a skin color or difference of culture. just don't be a dick
American, culturally Irish Catholic here. I'm dating a Korean American woman. She's wife material, but she thinks the floor is coated in ebola or something and would vote for Bernie Sanders.
So not perfect but pretty much gonna wife he up despite those flaws. Her parents don't like that I am not a doctor.
She's a traditionally feminine woman so that's kind of hard to find. She's pretty racist but that's fine because I'm pretty racist too.
Lel, all Asians think the floor is coated in shit.
But Bernie Sanders is unacceptable. Nigger thinks it's ok to send DMCA takedowns on campaign material, even though it's both abuse of DMCA and removing free advertising for his campaign. Who wants an idiot for a pres?
Dump that bitch.
Yea, the food of Koreans is kind of "Oh shit yum", "Okay, give me a second I think I can grow to like this" or "This is just fish buttholes in bowl is a mound of rice"
That fact that she cooks alone though is great.
Would recommend a Korean qt.
At the very least she studied abroad in America for a few months.
That doesn't mean much, her parents could have just refused to let her do it. So hopefully they don't hate foreigners.
Though I guess liking foreigners and liking a foreigner dating your baby girl is a little different.