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Cant leave friendzone
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 56
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>fall in love with best friend
>throw blatant hints I like her
>she obviously picks up on this
>starts telling me things she doesnt like about me
>telling me things she looks for in guys that are specifically things I dont have
>okayigetit.jpg
>begins telling me about guys she hooks up with
>she sleeps next to me in the same bed (weve platonically done this all the time)
>feel some hope
>later tell me that she hooked up she some guy a little before that
>heart falling apart
>avoid her for several days
>making up excuses not to hang out with her
>only speaking the bare minimum with her
>get several text messages about how Im acting
>she stalks me and corners me. Sits in my lap so I cant escape
>basically saying she doesnt feel Im being fair and we should go back to being best friends
>I give some lame excuse about how nothings wrong
>she kisses me on the cheek and says please
>repeat nothings wrong
>she gives me a quick kiss on the lips and repeats
>about to cave and she picks up on this
>leans in again and I kiss her back this time
>make out for like an hour and I promise to hang out with her later
I just dont think I can do it though. I dont want to feel that shitty again. I feel like she was trying to manipulate me with the kiss. And abuse my feelings since she obviously doesnt feel the same way. But I know that we only made out because we were both hurting and needed some comfort.
What the hell should I do?
>>
if being friends with someone is shitty, don't do it

just like for her, I would say: if you don't want to fuck someone, don't do it

you're both retards
>>
>>16713977

have a friend drop you off at her place. your friend waits outside in the car for exactly 15 minutes.

you go in and talk to her, explain that you cannot be friends anymore. you love her. she doesnt love you. and you trying to hold it in will only make it worse.

she will try to argue with you, but in those 15 minutes say 'i know, it sucks, and im sorry, but it has to be this way'. dont engage her points. dont answer her questions. she will try to find some logical loophole as if feelings and logic mix. just repeat the main statement.

15 minutes exactly your friend will knock on the door. he is your extraction team. he has a 'thing' he has to get to and you have to go with him.

you will delete her number from your phone, block her on facebook, and make no contact for 3 months.

you will come over to my place, crack open a beer, and play mario kart while i playfully tossle your hair.
>>
>>16713987
>if being friends with someone is shitty, don't do it
Its not easy abandoning people you love and have loved (platonically) for years.
Its like youve never cared for another person.
>>16713992
If she corners me again I wont be able to fight her off. My heart wont be able to. Mario kart does sound like fun though but youd have to be a cute girl to play with my hair.
>>
>>16714033

just a really cute boy unfortunately.

>if she corners me again i wont be able to fight her off

good luck then you'll be stuck in this cycle for literally your entire life until you say 'lol oh wait i can just get up and say no'

DONT BE THAT BETA.
>>
>>16713977
You got to make out with her and you're still just friends? What? I mean, I have a fembro who'd probably make out and fuck me if I asked her because sex isn't a big deal to her to but shit man... You have a weird relationship with this woman
>>
>>16714053
>really cute boy
No such thing
>>
>>16714075

>no such thing

then why would women date us?
>>
>>16713977

>knows you really like her
>tells you it will never happen
>sits on your lap and makes out with you

This bitch be crazy.
>>
>>16714071
Its obvious she only kissed me because she thought Id cave and its make her feel better. Doesnt sound too weird for any woman.
>>
>>16714085
Uh.. I have plenty of female friends and they sure as shit wouldn't make out with me if I started acting like you.
>>
You are ill-adviced, opsy.

She's into you.
All the things you listed.
You know all the things she said and did.
They're called shit tests.

Women can't help it.
They're signs she wants you to be a man.
Unfortunately you acted like a child.
You can still clean up your act.
The reason she tests you is so that you can prove to her that you're confident, don't get pulled down by her words and show her that you'll unaffectedly brush it off and be strong and alpha.

There you go. If you like her you can have her, unless you keep up what ever the fuck you're doing.
>>
>>16713977
Here's what has happened:

You said you liked her (give or take). She said "no I Fuck all these guys you don't even matter" because she needed to feel powerful or wanted.

You're like "okay Fuck you then".

Now she is all over you because you're her emotional backup, the one guy who wants her for more than just sex, and now even you want to dump her like every guy before who just fucked her and ran away.

Keep saying no. Tell her to Fuck off. She's far more damaged than you OP. You own you, not her.
>>
>>16713992
This is awesome advice OP do it, you even made an awesome friend. Op where do you live? I'll help out and drive you
>>
>>16714033
You just gotta stop talking to her bro. It sucks for both of you, but unless you think you can make yourself get over her while still seeing her all the time, it's really the only way.
>>
>>16714090
This isnt just any female friend.
>>
>>16714133
Even my best female friends wouldn't do that shit. Would your best dude friend make out with you?
>>
sounds like she is telling you about past interactions either for advice, maybe she thought you didn't like her in that way, or that she is wondering how you would react to her being with someone else, because she is into you. if she's not seeing anyone, then ask her out, make a move as you see fit and take it from there
>>
>>16714143
So youre going to ignore that one is gay
If youve never seen a women kiss someone (bf) to get what they want I dont know what to tell you
>>
>>16714200
She made it clear she didnt want to date.
>>
>>16714101
This might actually be true.
>>16714092
You dont test a guy by sleeping with other guys.
>>
>>16714401
>OP didn't make a move
>she wanted sex

She didn't test by sleeping with other guys, dummy. She tested by telling OP about it to see his reaction. For all we know, she lied about sleeping with other guys.
>>
>>16713977
>>fall in love with best friend

Hahahahahahahahaha

>best friends with a girl

Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha
>>
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>>16714485
>lie about sleeping with other guys to the guy you like
>>
>>16714033
>Its not easy abandoning people you love and have loved (platonically) for years.
>Its like youve never cared for another person.
How can you say this without knowing someone and what they've been through? I agree with them because I've been where you are, and nothing good can come from staying in contact with this person. We're not denying that it's painful and difficult. But sometimes you just have to do what needs to be done and try to move on.
>>
>>16714485
that's a recipe to be cuck'd in future endeavors with this girl. on top of the fact that testing someone, regardless of whether or not she's actually fucking those dudes, is childish as fuck.
>>
>>16714085
>>16714090

OP's friend just sounds manipulative and easy. I don't think there's much more to it than that.
>>
>>16713977
Run. Cut contact. Fight as hard as you can to conpletely disengage. Be an asshole if you need to. No alternative is worth it, this is a black hole and you are nearing the event horizon. ESCAPE AT ALL COSTS. SHE IS NOT SPECIAL. you'll look back and be relieved.
>>
>>16714101
This anon speaks the truth

>>16714563
Me again, just driving the point, I had this exact same relationship and it was just years of torture, stress and wasted time, money and energy. get the fuck out of there OP.
>>
>>16714509
I dont think shes any more manipulative than any other woman Ive dealt with.
>>
Now, explain to her your feelings.
Tell her you understand she does not feel the same way, but you are going to need some time to sort this shit out. But as it is at the moment being with her actually causes you pain, and if she was really your friend she would understand and respect that.

But on a side not, just get away from her. She clearly does not give a flying fuck about your feelings. And is only using you becouse you make her feel good about her self.
Find someone that gives you more joy than pain is a good way to start.
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>>16714604
>I dont think shes any more manipulative than any other woman Ive dealt with.
Then you're hanging around a bunch of shitty people that like to use and abuse, without a thought or a care about how others may be affected.
>>
she will use you as an emotional battery and when and IF she feels like it, she will make you hers. Pls Op, I was there too. Gtfo before you realize this later
>>
>>16713977
WHAT THE FUCK please for the love of all that's holy pull your head out of your ass?
>But I know that we only made out because we were both hurting and needed some comfort.
Nooo, YOU made out with her because of that. SHE made out of you because she's controlling you and making you her bitch and that turns her on.
>>
>>16714092

thats the best answer for you OP

-------------
i see you handle your shit anon
>>
She sounds like an attention seeker.

You've already kissed her so I wouldn't worry too much about being honest about your feelings for her.

It'll drive you mad otherwise
>>
>>16714508
All women do it. It's been like that since time began. In the stone age men would hit each other over the head with rocks, but lately men have become more civil with each other, so women will have us fight our own emotions instead of each other. It's not childish, it's biologically driven.

There's nothing wrong with OP's girl, she clearly want him to be a better version of himself and initiate sex and a relationship.

The more OP is telling/showing her okayigetit.jpg, the more reason she has to test him further. She tests him because she's insecure about his confidence. Women need men who will stand ground and pick them up when they feel unsafe. All OP is doing is giving her further reason not to trust him. If he'd done the opposite if what he's doing, she could allowed herself to fall hard for him. It's a miracle she hasn't already given up.

Men don't make out with girls for an hour and then cry about it because of their fatalist certainty of never being good enough.
Men make out with girls for an hour and then proceed to putting their hands down their pants to see how wet they've gotten. Women want to be lead. They want to be had. If OP just want to hold hands and being sad together, he's going to miss out and actually have a reason to feel.

It should have gone
>she obviously picks up on this
>starts telling me things she doesnt like about me
>I brush it off and tease her about being too ashamed to admitting that she's head over heels
>telling me things she looks for in guys that are specifically things I dont have
>I take her hand as we walk, and tell her 'Nice try. You're adorable, but I don't believe you.'
>grab her by the waist and look her deep in the eyes
>look down at her lips, and then up at her eyes again
>she looks down at my lips, then up, then down again
>I smile and tell her 'it's okay, you can kiss me if you want to'
>>
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>>16713977
FUCK. THAT. SHIT. KICK THAT CUNT TO THE MOTHERFUCKING CURB!!!! GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS!
>>
Shes not a bad person like you guys think.
>>
>>16714840
actions anon, not personality. actions define a person. anyone who would make out with someone when they know it's only going to hurt that person emotionally...
>>
>>16714859
>actions define a person
This.

>>16714840
>Shes not a bad person like you guys think.
There isn't anyone alive that is 100%--everyone has their good moments. But when it comes to you, she doesn't give a shit about how hurt you are when she's stringing you alone. She doesn't care that she's manipulative. She just wants you there to fill an endless void, and she'll do whatever it takes to keep you around (except she'll never actually commit to you).
>>
>>16714876
The falslihood of your statement depends entirely on how well OP has communicated to her that he's being hurt.
>>
>>16715930
You dont have to express youre hurt to be understood
>>
>>16716308
OP left centuries ago, why are we discussing semantics?

You have to express attraction and lust to get laid.
>>
>>16716350
Im still here. Getting laid was never my goal. But now I dont really have one.
>>
>starts telling me things she doesnt like about me
>telling me things she looks for in guys that are specifically things I dont have
message quite clear, never gonna happen!

>kiss on the lips and repeats
>about to cave and she picks up on this
>leans in again and I kiss her back this time
>make out for like an hour and I promise to hang out with her later
either she's using this to get her little pet(emotional tampon) back or she's realized her other guy doesn't want her and thinks you're better than nothing.

either way she's being self-entitled and manipulative. you may get to fuck her but don't expect more.
>>
>>16713992
Good advice.
>>
>>16714745
he is kind of right you know...
>>
>>16716380
find a new goal. u r being played.
>>
>>16714053
Pic pls then, I like looking at qt boys.
>>
>>16714745
No one wants to be used. You cant sleep with other guys to test someone.
>>
>>16713977

OP. You need to understand something. She isn't your friend. You see her as a friend, but she definitely doesn't see you as a friend.

You are a fucking accessory to her. A dog on a leash that gives her comfort in knowing that, no matter what she does, you have unconditional feelings for her. No matter how many guys she cycles through and leave her, you're always there to remind her that there's someone there who cares about her.

Guess what though? While she's out with the other guys, doing all the shit you want to do to her, do you think for even a second that you are on her mind? Be realistic. The only time you are relevant to her is when she wants to show off or vent about her current boy toy.

As soon as she saw her little dog start wanting to leave the yard, she ropes him back in with treats and promises to take him out on more walks. You took the bait, and you came right back so that she can treat you the exact same way she did before.

If you want to be that, then have fun I guess. It sounds like, despite knowing your position, you're more than happy to be that guy she can always come back to for emotional comfort. Her white knight who will one day realize "Man, I was with all these guys when I should have been with you! You were always there for me! I love you!" However, just ask yourself this: Who's comforting you right now? No one. You're so fucked up about it that you came to ask /adv/ of all places.

The answer is obvious. If something causes you pain, you no longer associate with it. It's that simple.

Consider this scenario as well: You are so fucking emotionally invested in her. Let's say that, by some chance, she decides to give you a chance despite lacking all the things she wants in a guy. You're the happiest fucker in the world. Inevitably though, it's going to fail because you aren't her type. What do you think is going to happen to the relationship when it obviously fails? How do you think you'll feel then?

Wake up.
>>
>>16716932
/thread
>>
OP Post updates
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>>16713977
that is what you get for being a nice guy who is an emotional tampon.
>>
>>16717613
It snowed where I am so I didnt leave my house. Not really anything to update you on. Not even sure what youre expecting.
Thread replies: 56
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Thread DB ID: 456248



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