How do I give up on the idea of ever having a girlfriend or a wife? I've already come to realize it's never going to happen, I'm simply not the kind of a guy women are attracted to both physically and personality wise. It's crushing me inside and I just want to know how some people seem to have found a way to give up on it and let go.
you realize women aren't homogenous? I think there are people that can't get on with other humans.. but there are definately not people who can't get on with only men or can't get on with only women..
Don't give up - just don't obsess over it. Think of other things, immerse yourself in your studies, join a gym, or just look at women as possible friends rather than lovers. When you start to relax around them is when they may begin to find you attractive.
Thank you, very good advice. Though I still doubt a girl would find me attractive regardless after she gets to know me, I'm too nice so I don't think I'll ever get anything beyond friends.
I would say so, I don't have any sort of deformations or anything besides a sunken chest (Pectus excavatum) so I wouldn't say I'm horrible, but on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give myself maybe a 4, a 5 on a good day.
You're right, I did use to think women just liked the "bad guy" sort of people, but the problem with me is being a nice guy is all I have going for me. I care a lot about everyone in my life and I'm a very compassionate person as well as assertive, but I don't have anything that would make a woman really go "Wow, I love this guy" because all I have are the qualities of a good friend, not someone anybody would fall in love with. Women like those "bad guys" because they have good looks or they can appeal to their sexual desires or make life exciting, I'm just not that kind of person so I don't think I would ever be able to be anything besides a good friend to women.
Every girl I know wants different things in a guy. I wouldn't date most of my friend's boyfriends. Not because I don't think they're attractive, but because I don't like their personalities to the point of dating them.
Work on your looks. Go to the gym, eat well, take care of your skin, hair and teeth, dress well.
Have hobbies that aren't videogames or watching tv. I love when a guy can talk to me about the interesting things he does, there's something attractive about it. Study, explore, travel, learn to do things.
About personality. I go for quite confident people, but still for nice guys.
I want a person who wants me over any other girl, not a guy that takes me because I'm the only thing he can get.
But I'm not a fat cunt, I'm a lanky cunt!
On the upside though, I dress well, commonly get praise for my skin and I'm studying for a degree after my last travel around Europe for a month by train.
Where can I apply for your phone number?
Didn't read thread so sorry if someone already said something to this effect but
Find something else to focus on, something that fills up a lot of your time, preferably a hobby like gym or art. When you are busy and productive, you are attractive. When you are not looking for something is often when you find it. Don't give up anon! Hwaiting!
Not OP but nothing works if you are not attractive. I am an extremely "normie" guy. I have many female friends, I am pretty comfortable around women.
Still never had gf. I never had any feedback that any of my female friends is even minutely attracted to me so I can make a first step.
I even like lanky guys. But most girls don't. Go to the gym and eat well, gain some weight, don't be lazy.
Where in Europe have you been?
If we met in a bar, I probably would give you my number, to be honest. And I'm sure I'm not that special.
>how do i give up on the idea of ever having a wife?
>ive already come to realize its never going to happen
you already did mate.
that being said either improve yourself or lower your standards. but hoenstly having a wife is not exactly something to look forward to these days.
Pretty cool. You probably passed by my town too.
I loved all the places you've been to, hope you did as well.
Anyway, don't give up. I am sure that there are many girls that would like you. Be comfortable in your skin, and keep trying to improve everything you can. At some point, the right girl will just arrive.
I am pretty attractive to girls even though I say so myself. And the one big thing I have for me is being nice. That means actually nice, not the /r9k/ "waah I'm such a nice guy why won't these cunts date me". But I'm also confident.
Being nice and confident is a powerful combination.
OP here, sorry I was away eating lunch, thank you all for your replies and advice.
Have you ever had a girlfriend? I am confident and nice, and I mean genuine nice, I care about the people around me and I don't expect anything in return for my kindness, but how does that attract women? I am a very humble quiet and easygoing person, I'm not exciting or necessarily successful and again quite ugly, how would I get women without those qualities?
Giving up is the way to go. You want to make yourself busy with things you like to do, maybe set up a long term goal like owning a summer home in Brazil or a cottage in Canada or owning a boat or what ever, a thing you can work towards in long term.
you keep coming back to your own physical attractiveness.
does it not occur to you that there are mediocre looking women just as you?
or is your expectation of a partner to have a certain level of attractiveness? I don't think you're being honest with yourself about what you're trying to accomplish.
>I want a person who wants me over any other girl, not a guy that takes me because I'm the only thing he can get.
well this explains why girls get cheated on. they expect the top 20% of males to only loyal to them. :^)
Oh I know there are less attractive women out there and I'd be fine with dating them but that doesn't mean I'm suddenly good enough for them, I've tried to get with less attractive women before and each ended up rejecting me. Which is fine, something is clearly wrong with me, I'm just trying to learn to cope now.
I expect a person to date me because I have the qualities that he wants in a partner. I don't want to date a person who doesn't know what he wants and goes out with me just because I am available. I don't date people that I don't really like and don't fit my ideal.