>meet girl at class
>super sweet and pretty
>instantly know she is too good for my sorry ass
>we become good friends fast
>I obviously have feelings for her but she is too good for me and has a boyfriend who is miles better than me and is also my friend
>she has to move to another country
>feel completely like shit, even tho I never got my hopes up for anything I feel heartbroken
How do I avoid this happening ever again? I feel like I'm going to fall for countless girls all of them too good for me and this is going to happen over and over again and that's going to be my life
First of all, stop thinking they're too good for you. If you think that, then they are. If you don't think that, then they aren't. Some girls are just not your style, they are never "too good" for you.
>First of all, stop thinking they're too good for you.
Literally this, You aren't doing any justice to yourself by saying that. Unless you're actually a bad person who manipulates people.
I'm a fat nerdy guy who plays mmos and is learning to draw in order to become a cartoonist most girls are too good for me, hell almost every girl is too good for me.
I try to be nice and friendly but that just gets you hurt in the long run but what can I do, I can't alienate an entire gender to protect my feelings
being realistic and not naive. she has a boyfriend but i'll just daydream. she's moving to another country but i'll just daydream. i feel worthless but instead of working on my self esteem i'll put myself down. these are all the wrong things to do man =/. i've been there before too, so this is first hand advice
I never daydreamed but she gives me everyday and I couldn't just not enjoy it, I'm only human. Should I have refused the hug? How could I avoid getting feelings when talking to her? Should I not talk to her at all?
She is gone now, the feelings are not. This is going to happen again
yeah no nice guy can, and i've been getting brick walls on online dating sites all but once. it sucks but i know those girls weren't meant for me. there's a lot of people though and there is the right one out there for you. don't get discouraged by the ones who don't appreciate you
she gives you a hug but you let it mean more than friendship. the same with conversation. you have to force those barriers because i didn't mean literal daydream, i meant emotional and that's what you just explained. i always used to do this too until i shoved it in my face that she has a boyfriend, or we don't have the same interests. i may enjoy her company but she isn't the one for me
So I'm basically fucked and this can't be avoided at all isn't it?
We all like to pretend that people don't have some kind of worth that can be measured but that's not true and I rank very low on that scale.
I'm not bitter. I can't control who I am any better than people at the top can but I'm really sad that I will never be good enough.
I don't know, I guess there has to be a way to learn how to cope with this. Girls are so pretty and nice I can't avoid having feelings for them
In which way she isn't the one for you because if she wasn't for you then we'll at least you can cope.
The girl I am talking about was well I don't want to use the word perfect but I couldn't think of a better girl.
I can't avoid having feelings, maybe you are better than me and you can. I just don't know how
i'm 24 and i weigh 120 lbs. i have braces and haven't been able to find a job to support getting out of my parents place. my music interest is mostly metal (usually a turn off for girls), etc. just a few things that aren't the average joe and would be considered lower on the scale. but they're superficial. even my music taste doesn't define me. i'm a great person who cares just about as much as possible. there's billions of people on the planet. there will be ones who don't give a shit if you're not a 10/10. i'm definitely not. and i'd rather not end up with a superficial girl in the first place. a lot of girls like mmos, cartoons, and drawing. being nice and friendly has gotten me hurt but i'm not gonna be fake and some douchebag to try and make insecure girls fall for me because i don't give a shit about making my dick tingle, i want a meaningful relationship and i won't get that with superficial girls
the problem is a girl who seems perfect on the surface usually isn't deep down. for reasons like they'd rather be with someone else than me or you. so they aren't actually perfect for me or you. we can't understand why every time, but it is there to see. who wants to be with someone who seems perfect BUT just isn't into you? if they don't appreciate you like that, fuck the idea of a romantic relationship with them. it doesn't matter if you're a good looker or not, enjoy mmos or sports, and like drawing or fishing. you just have to be you and you will find the right person after enough time
I'm not talking about being superficial. This guy was better than me in every possible way, good people, people at the top aren't bad people they are generally better than me in personality too and every way, there are very few bad people in the world one doesn't need to be superficial to see how much better they are than me
This doesn't make any sense to me. Of course I want to be with someone perfect, even if I tell myself I don't. There is no perfection, when I say she was perfect I mean she had everything I could possibly want or need in someone. Even if she didn't and had most of it I would have felt the same about her.
I'm afraid I will meet people like this again
Why do beautiful people exist /adv? And why are they nice every time? It would be easyer if the world was filled with people who are full of quality's but are somehow vane and reject you then I could hate them or something but that's not the case because life isn't a movie
if she doesn't like you for you in a romantic way, she may be a perfect friend but never a perfect romantic partner. it's okay to meet people like that, but you can't overlook the fact that they don't like you romantically and apply it to yourself as if there's something wrong with who you are deep down. there isn't anything wrong with anyone deep down (so long as they aren't abusive, a rapist, etc). there's billions of people out there and we are all unique. at the same time, there's so many compatible interests there's more than 1 person out there for everyone
There is no wrong but there is better. I'm sorry but there will always be someone who is more appropriate as a romantic partner to a girl than me because that's not something hard to be
there is better superficially and if you're superficial then you're stuck living that life. i'm not my skin, i'm not my body shape or type, or my hobbies. i am much more than that deep down. and in that, i am unique. there are girls out there who will appreciate what they see in what i just explained more than they have with anyone else they've met. the same for girls with you, unless you're caught up on thinking body types or hobbies define who someone truly is deep down
You see she was more than her beauty and her hobby's, I needed someone to talk to me and touch me, I hadnt talked with anyone or been touched by another human being in the longest time. It's not just the situation, nobody else would do it.
I needed someone to be happy to see me. She was everything I needed, I wasn't what she needed tho. I will never be, I will never be what another human needs, its just not what I am or can be either physically or in any other way
i can't give you self-confidence but i can try to explain that even you, even that disfigured kid out there, absolutely everyone can be themselves and in that be what another human needs. it just won't be what every human needs and we have to accept that with so many people out there, we will meet a lot before finding the right one.
>to protect my feelings
That's what you are doing you idiot. How old are you? I used to think the same way. Why would anyone love me?
If you think that, you never try because you know you'll fail. So you don't fail. You are protecting yourself from real rejection by assuming you will be rejected.
I hope you get your shit together. It took me a very long time and now I'm a wizard.