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How did I handle this?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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I am absolutely terrible at texting women. Can't game or create attraction. I am practicing on this girl because long story short, she's older than me, kinda put me into the friendzone last summer (well I guess even way before), can't get over ex and only female presence in my life due to my crippling autism. I haven't talked to her in 3 months even though she kept liking my stuff on facebook. This is how it went:

>sent picture of me in a drysuit (because I do stuff at sea) "Gonna swim in ice cold water! How's your day at the office?"
>replies an hour later "Omg why? Is that for your job? I am doing fine at the moment, currently focusing on my future goals and present situation
>answer her 5 hours later "Nah it's not my job! In went to fish some fish for the sushi we ate last time"
>replies moments later with ":)" "You are a good fisherman and a good cook"
>I say "I can share some of my secrets *her nickname*
>replies a few minutes later with "I prefer to eat rather than cook :P "
> I reply a few minutes later "Yeah the cake you baked me at my birthday was...Ok"
>replies with "Ouch" "That was a lowblow"
>reply a few minutes later "...Ok by the standards of a master pastry cook. What were you thinking? ;)"
>doesnt reply for 3 hours
> I write "I was just kidding by the way. Don't start scheming on how you will poison me with your tea"
>she replies 40min later "No don't worry lolll"

I know it's awful. But I wanted to build some feelings/interaction before asking her out on a date.

What do?
>replying before she replied back
That's not too bad texting wise, just screwed up some small talk. I would've screwed it up even more, just keep going at it.
if i knew i'd tell you, but i'm gonna piggy back for advice

>met girl on saturday
>been texting her since then, about a 100 messages between us
I think she's definitely interested, but we just can't get to know each other well enough. Like I'm afraid to do humor because I don't know her sense of humor.
I know that rule. It was the first time I ever replied before she did. I thought I hurt her saying that her cake was shit because she spent an afternoon making it for my birthday and her being a woman and all...
I'm a girl and I'm complete pasta around women. As in, I can't text them for the life of me. Me talking to them is just cringe. So... just become gender neutral. There is no possible way to become normal at talking to women.
No, I long for intimacy with a woman but I am not dependant from it. I am just trying to understand, there's a cause and effect to everything except the Big Bang.

Yes classic advice, "anon you have oneitis, go to a gum, go to a bar, talk to random women, talk to women at work, get a new hobby, get new clothes, take care of yourself etc" . Did all of those and I figured that it all comes down to my social skills and she is a good candidate for this.
I'd suggest to avoird sarcasm because texting is very impersonnal and can't get any verbal cues that you are sarcastic. Just try anything, normie humor if you will and then adjust properly.
>tfw cannot into normie humor
>tfw i am very sarcastic irl

this girl is a tumblr girl, any tips
No. There is no way. Communication with the female species does not exist.
heheeh yes. Exactly!

Bad advice.

Don't know if you're still around OP but in case you are... The place where you messed up is where you assumed you needed to build some feelings. When she said "I prefer to eat than to cook" she was hinting at you to say something like "Good, you free on thursday?" but instead you continued to talk and she didnt see the point in texting back since you were never going to man up and ask her out. She stopped being interested because you couldn't read the situation.

Getting to know someone through texting is pointless because everything changes in real life. All texting should be used for is getting the girl to agree to go out with you. Then you win her over in person. DO NOT try humor unless its over the phone.. or on Skype, or you've already met.
>tfw this is me
I just can't text, I've given up on even trying to do anything other than set up meetings through texts.
Ok I will ask her today if she is free. I can't read any social cues man it's poisoning my life. Nothing comes naturally, I have to actively think about it.

Thanks again
Back again. This is what I texted

>Hey *insert nickname*, so because you prefer to eat rather than cook, let's try this restaurant *insert name and location*. 8pm sounds good to you?" "The catches of the day are the ones I fish"

>replies 15min later "Haha what kind of fish? Is it some catfish? :P"
>"I am going to a yoga retreat this weekend"
>"I try to be more zen :)"
>"Hows your job?"

>reply 30min later "Ok let me know when you got some free time in your schedule. I'm doing fine, currently preparing myself for some tests *insert company"

I did my best. She has not replied since and did not suggested another day so I guess she is not interested.
Final bump. Help me out guys. My incompetence with women is torturing me on an hourly basis.
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>this girl is a tumblr girl
I understand how attractive these girls can be, but you are literally commiting emotional suicide by dating a tumblr girl. FUck buddy is a different situation entirely
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Step 1: Imagine Chad
Step 2: Be Chad
Step 3: Be yourself in person
Step 4: Either Success or Failure, either way you and everyone you love will die and their remains will disappear and every memory and goal you worked for will mean absolutely nothing.
Your writing has a light touch of good jokes, made me chuckle quite a bit
Not sure if trolling or you have a bad sense of humor because I am shit. The fact that she did not counter offer with another day is a telltale sign of lack of interest. I bet she has a few dozen of orbiters already and gonna get some dick at that yoga resort. Not bitter but realistic. Women get hit by hundreds of guys and only settle for 9-10/10s and I am simply not on her radar.

I just want to know if I should have said something different because my game is shallower than the Mariannas trench.
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As someone who's very good at making women fall in love with him:

- Honestly most of the time girls are just too shallow. For example, the one in your quote giving ":)" and "no dont worry lolll" responses.. what do they add to the conversation, even? Not much at all unless you wanna go through the effort of making something out of it.

I'm dead serious, I wouldn't give two fucks to try and keep a conversation with a woman who either doesn't have the personality or the interest. And most of the cases, as an opposite reaction, that actually sparks a light on that head of theirs to try and initiate the conversation with you later. But then again what affects that chance is your looks, your personality, how your previous conversation with her went, etc etc; you know, whether you picked her interest or not.

.. On some other cases a few women are actually worth the effort. But it's up to you to decide that, is she really the one you wanna start a relationship with? If so there's no harm in going a bit further, but DON'T overdo it or seem overly needy. It's cool to talk/text her for a few days and telling her some random shit that happened to you, even if a lie, just to make conversation. If eventually she starts opening up to you, great, if not then move on.

Alternatively (to get you to the first point where you're "in charge" of the relationship per se), you can be the one initiating conversations for a while and making her open up to you, then distance yourself a little bit to make her chase you.... this may or may not work depending on how much charisma and impact you had on her desu, it has a lot to do with confidence and your actual people reading skills.

What you must understand is, as social creatures the more time we spend with someone obviously the more chances we'll have of making that person open up to us. Flirting is the best way to get there, just say something NOT too mean but don't be the nice guy either, that's boring; just be entertaining but sassy.
That's the kind of answer I was looking for. So I guess I was over thinking. As for looks, well I am in great shape (can bench 2 plates, can do FRAN in 6min, did a Spartan race...) but not overly huge. I dress a bit like pic related from OP. I got a nice haircut and groom myself regulary. Only have some inflammation caused by acne but nothing extreme.

As for if she is worthy? In my book, yes she has everything I am looking for but unfortunately, the reality is different. She can't get over her ex and said she can't open herself on other subjects with me. I only use her now as training and because she is the only woman I have in my circle of friend.
Easier said than done. Aside from working out and have a few hobbies, what should I do? I still have approach anxiety.
Thread replies: 25
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Thread DB ID: 471839

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