Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
>Who is Brandon/Female Brandon?
A shitposter who's convinced he's ugly. He keeps posting his picture to ask if he's ugly and to ask for dating advice, only to rebut or ignore any responses he gets. Female Brandon is a girl who pulls the same shit.
Also piss off.
I've been talking to this girl recently. We both like each other quite a bit, and we've been very open. Thing is, she's fucked a lot of guys. She told me herself, and she's very insecure about it. I don't care about the number itself, but there's going to be some warranted trust issues since she lives 3 hours away for college.
Personally, I don't think she really wants to be in college. She changed her major after a semester to something unnecessary for what she told me she wants to do. I think I can convince her to drop out and move in with me, then maybe go to college together after I have better influence with her. This specifically is what I want advice on, but other thoughts are welcome.
She's extremely pissed at me right now because we had a misunderstanding that made me confuse how many sexual partners she's had with how many guys she's been on dates with. I told her I wasn't interested interested after that. After she clarified, we had an argument. She said she wants to be left alone for a few days, but I'm asking for long-term advice here.
i haven't been in a relationship since i was in highschool(17 then 21 now).
What's a really good first date spot now a days? All i ever do i ask girls to see a movie with me and its really come to bore me. What would a girl like to do on a first date?
A relationship. More if things work out.
She said she really likes kids, so she changed to early childhood education. I'm thinking I could suggest working at a daycare. How do you think I should convince her?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
You clearly didn't read it.
Guy needing help: how do you cope with the fact that your Tinderfu is most likely talking to twenty other guys at the same time shes talking to you and you're not talking to anyone else/turned discover off?
These are just some random questions I've always wondered about but am too autistic to ask my male friends
1. How strongly do men find cute things cute? Like when I see a cute baby/animal, I have the urge to hold it and take care of it. So do men have this urge but are afraid of appearing weak & don't act on it, or do they actually not find things as cute as women?
2. Do guys find "the bad girl" hot similar to how girls are attracted to "the bad boy"?
3. Do men cry in private
4. I know they don't PMS but I swear a lot of guys I know have these regular mood swings. I could use some basic advice for situations where a guy is pissed, how can I avoid pissing him off further and escalate the situation
Because I confused how many sexual partners she's had with how many guy's she's been on dates with, which included week long childhood relationships. She clarified after, and she's still had sex with quite a few guys, but not enough for me to lose interest. She's angry with me right now because, if she had had sex with a ton of guys in the past, that I wouldn't be interested in her. I told her I didn't care how many she's been with before she opened up about it, but I wasn't expecting her answer to be so high, even though that really how many guys she's slept with.
It's long and complicated, so it's hard to explain on here.
1. I like cute shit, but I wouldn't want to own a kitten or baby just because it is cute. I'd chill all day with a group of puppies though
2. Hell yes, at least for me. But that's because I'm timid, so the fantasy is her aggression removing any ambiguity.
3. If they have a reason to I think anyone would. American culture plays up strong men never crying, but even a devil may cry if he loses a loved one.
4. It depends on the guy, I would think. I assume understanding where his anger is coming from and attempting to resolve the situation or empathize are decent tactics for most people in general.
1. I do. Some don't. Society trains men to be good little disposable workhorses, emotions like that are irrelevant. Don't force it. It's not about a desire to not appear weak usually, the thought just doesn't occur in the first place.
2. Yes, until they get one. They only keep liking them afterwards if they're an idiot.
3. I do. I cried when my friend died. I don't usually though.
4. Give him some space or try to lighten the mood. If he doesn't buy into it, back off. Honestly, he should have some basic fucking control over his emotional state though. Not your problem.
Yes, men have empathy you fucking weirdo.
No, they think it's disgusting. No guy thinks it's interesting or cool when modern women act like Amy Shumer no matter how hard they try to shill it.
Also busted vaginas are gross
Yes, well at least in Germanic/Britannic cultures they do, Italians and Mediterranean people are more in touch with that stuff
Men have the same hormonal emotional cycle as women do, yes. I can't give a good answer to what you should do other than understand that its just a phase and it'll eventually (hopefully) pass
Okay so I'm 29, pushing wizard status. This isn't really the problem, I'm fine with it, not a sadfrog faggot, etc. I'm rather enjoying my very free single bachelor lifestyle.
My issue is that my brother and his fiance keeps wanting to set me up with her friends, and while I guess I appreciate the sentiment, I don't particularly have an interest in meeting women at the moment, and it's both mildly irritating and I guess I can't help but being offended to a point? I mean, I'm not really down with the pressure but should I be mad? Or am I being a dick?
Met a cute girl where i work today. She works a couple stores from mine in the mall. Problem is she works at a womens handbag and purse store. How would I go in there and not be a creeping fuck?
>how cute do guys find cute things
Uh... on a scale to 1 to 10, where 1 is not, and 8 is that hold and take of urge.
Like a 6?
>Do guys find "the bad girl" hot?
Same with girls, depends on their personality, age, and maturity.
When you're younger, the bad girl tends to be a bit more appealing, as you get older you just start to see that shit as way too much fucking drama to deal/put up with.
>Do men cry in private
Depends on the guy. Some guys are stoic to the bone and repress that shit like crazy. Others are more open. I'm ok with crying, but I'm a fairly effeminate guy in some ways, and I went through a decade of depression so I understand exactly what crying can do for you as a release sometimes.
>Guy psuedo-PMS/mood swings
Depends on the guy, but generally: Ask if aything's up and if you can help exactly once, then drop it and don't bring it up again. When it comes to personal problems, guys don't group solve like women do. Most of us would prefer to forget about/put that shit aside while in public, and then deal with it on our own in private.
That's why when guys get together, most of the time we just goof off and don't really ever talk about anything real; because we're there to enjoy each others company (sometimes as a way specifically to forget/be distracted from things), and if we wanted anymore, we'd bring that up in private.
>trying to convince her is now controlling
ffs, im not forcing her to do anything. I'm going to ask how she feels about college. If she's into it, I can't convince her and that's that. The relationship will just be that more unlikely to work out.
1. I love cute animals and stuff, but I don't think any guy gets all squeaky over them.
2. Personally, no. Obviously nobody is an angel, but a trashy bitch that sleeps around, does all the drugs possible, and gets into trouble all the time isn't attractive. And to be honest I think the girls that like "bad boys" are a little less attractive ultimately.
3. Yes but it's rare, especially if they're sober and it's usually for a somewhat dumb reason.
4. Listen to him, and learn to understand that sometimes not helping is the best way to help.
Just sounds like they're worried for you, just them know there's nothing to be worried about and they'll move on.
It's flattering of them really, my sister would never do that for me and we're even pretty close
You can't go from "I'm not interested because you've had sex with x number of guys" to "I don't care how many you've had sex with now that I know it's a lower number", because those two statements are contradictory.
Is a musician (or a guy with other creative hobbies) automatically more attractive to you? I've picked up my first instrument as an adult and I'm meeting new people through it, which is cool, and I've also started noticing some female attention as well. I'm just not sure if that's because of the instrument or just coincidence or whatever.
>the relationship will be more unlikely to work out
So you are giving advice she can reject, but if she does reject it the relationship is less likely to work?
You totally don't sound controlling, dude.
>I can convince her to drop out
>move in with me
>after I have better influence with her
>The relationship will just be that more unlikely to work out
You sound abusive. Again, kill yourself.
I feel like that's lying, though. I mean it feels like it's more of a "try again" than a "no thanks"
Honestly it's more my brother playing relay for his fiancee and I just feel like she's trying to dump her less dateable friends on me sometimes.
I dunno maybe I'll just ask her to stop next time.
I had those before, but I guess playing an instrument is more socially acceptable than semi-professional gaming. The creative part is interesting, is a musician or artist more attractive than someone who is into a sport?
I know this is ask opposite gender, but you need to not do this. It's bad for you and for her. She doesn't know what she wants and you're trying to make decisions for her. Also, if you move in and shit falls apart, congratulations you just fucked up a significant portion of her life.
I'm sure you're not a shitter but you have some pretty abusive tendencies. You're trying to control her which is not good. Back off and let her sort her own shit out. If she's not mature enough to be where you are at in life, then you need to move on. Also work on how fucking controlling you are, that shit is going to blow up in your face one day.
M8 think about what you're saying for a moment here. Do you realize that dropping out of college is the stupidest fucking idea you could have in this economy? Especially if the reason is to move in with an obsessive boyfriend
This is ask the opposite gender anything.
And It's prejudging because I know myself better than that anon, I know her better than that anon, and that what I've posted here is completely simplified because I'm not posting chat logs.
Personally, I find musician to be more attractive simply because I'm not as into gaming/sports, and I think it's a little more intellectual. But that's an individual preference, gaming is becoming more socially acceptable and I'm sure there are plenty of women who find a man who's interested in gaming attractive
I wouldn't call it "intellectual", just more creative honestly. And even that is not really the case if you just play standards, but I guess that's not the point. Thanks for the input, time to get better at my instrument and stop being weird around women I guess.
Is it possible to be friends with an ex? One of them just kinda popped back into my life and is trying to make small talk with me again.
We didn't exactly end on the worst terms, but I'd be lying if I said I had absolutely no lingering feelings for her.
Maybe I'm just not ready to completely burn the bridge between us?
1. men can/do/have/will acknowledge cute things, but generally not the degree that the average woman would
2. probably in the same way women have an attraction to the bad boy: fun to play with, not to marry
4. that comes with living in a society where men are encouraged to suppress all emotions. can't bottle that shit up forever and not expect an outburst eventually
I find cute things cute. I don't ever say 'that's cute' though.
It's a nice fantasy but not reality.
Avoid him. When men rage we find things to be angry at. Joking or attempting to lighten the mood can be seen as patronizing and make us angrier.
It's a bit old fashioned but as long as the parents aren't complete dicks about it it's not a huge deal. Like, they want you to respect them and ask, that's okay. But if they're going to say no or be rude towards you/make you jump through hoops to get a yes then screw them.
>it creeps me out
Well that is the weirdest excuse I've heard about why someone doesn't want a Facebook profile
Also it can be useful for a number of things. For example, there are lots of buy/sell/trade pages that you might find useful, like for textbooks or something. There are lots of announcements and updates from my uni on Facebook too. It's really not just for socialising anymore, there's a lot of information out there on it nowadays
I'm not worried about not making friends on Facebook, I just don't see why I should use it. And if people just add basically everyone on there then that's just another reason for me not to use it.
>Well that is the weirdest excuse I've heard about why someone doesn't want a Facebook profile
It's a huge privacy concern, literally all "useful" things on Facebook I've seen can be accessed in various other ways (mailing lists are still a thing, there are separate platforms to buy, sell and trade, etc.) and I really don't see why it's necessary to or weird not to have it.
It's a way to get in touch with people without waiting to see them. Maybe you don't have someone's number but you need to ask them something. Maybe you have someone's number but their phone's off. It's sure as fuck easier to talk to girls on.
>I don't know why social media is necessary or even useful
Being able to invite 30 or 40+ people to a random event, and being able to get responses back as to whether or not people are going, is pretty damn useful.
Having birthdays automatically sync to your cellphone is pretty useful.
Having a quick way to share pictures with all your friends and family (if you want) is pretty useful.
I don't even really like or use facebook, but I have it, and even I acknowledge that much.
But why? I have not heard a single reason why it is weird yet, except everyone else does it".
I have the number of all the relevant people in my life, and if I get to know someone new I just ask them for their phone number.
I can just send out an email to do most of that, I don't really share pictures because I don't take many (admittedly that is just for me, I see why some people would use Facebook in that case), people should be able to remember your birthday, if their computer has to remind them of that then they obviously don't care.
>How strongly do men find cute things cute?
Fairly frequently. I don't think I react as strongly as women generally do, but I own a pomeranian and I'm not afraid of showing affection for instance.
> Do guys find "the bad girl" hot similar to how girls are attracted to "the bad boy"?
Idiots do, others don't.
>Do men cry in private
Sometimes. I don't think I've cried in over half a decade, but if I felt that kind of emotion I see no point in holding it in.
>I could use some basic advice for situations where a guy is pissed, how can I avoid pissing him off further and escalate the situation
My biggest issue is if I'm in a sour mood, people keep pestering me to try to help. I understand that they have good intentions, but it's not something I want at the moment.
Give him space if he says its fine but it clearly isn't, he'll probably talk to you about it when he mellows out.
Have you told him you appreciate the effort but arent interested? If so being frustrated is understandable, otherwise you need to talk to him.
Sometimes. But I pretty much require that special feelings are done and over with, and no real bad blood over the breakup.
If you're still into her, I wouldnt advise it.
Varies. If they just think we'll end up getting married, flattered. If they start pushing for us to elope, irritated.
I'm sorry but that's dumb. You wouldn't get a gym membership if you don't go there or join a bowling club if you're not playing, why would I use a service that I don't need/want just because it's popular at the moment?
Seems an insignificant thing in the big picture.
I'd be talking to them anyway. I would fucking LOVE to find out ahead of a proposal that they're secretly cunts so that I can run for the hills. Problem in-laws ruin marriages. Church.
Why are you responding? We don't care why you don't use it, you just asked why people would.
We told you why. If you want to not be weird, get one. If you are ok with having to explain why you don't have one whenever someone asks by all means continue not using it, but it'll still be weird.
It's weird if you don't do something everyone else is doing. The odd one out is weird. That's just how society works, don't argue that it doesn't make sense. Lots of things we say, do and feel don't make sense, this is just one of many.
Nevermind, you people are retarded. Why exactly did I think that I'd find normal people on here anyway? Especially women, there's nothing to be gained by taking advice from a bunch of land whales or men pretending to be girls on the internet who waste all of their time on fucking 4chan and Facebook.
>met someone through a friend
>contacts me once or twice
>invites me out out of nowhere
>now I'm the one initiating contact
Am I just being an annoying sperg now? I stopped for a week due to illness and got nothin'.
It is normal to be that way. We're human beings, not Borg. If you look at us through the lens of divine inspiration this is some phoned-in shit that was designed by an intern or something.
Nigga we're able to be made to believe in ghosts. Think about that for a second.
Since late November. We spoke three or four times over text. I thought there was a language barrier at first (I'm the foreigner here), so being invited out in perfect English shocked me.
Those are all examples where you are require to have some sort of investment (be it time, equipment, membership fees, or what have you).
The only investment that is required of you have to have Facebook is the use of an email address.
There are almost a billion daily users, and another half a billion who use it at least once a month.
That is 1/5th of the worlds population. That is 1/5 of the worlds population when only 3.3 billion of it has internet access.
Wrap your head around that. 50% of the earths population with internet access young, old, male, female use Facebook.
Yes, that makes Facebook perfectly normal, and you being so against it makes you weird.
>I suck corporate dick and support a terrible company that doesn't respect my freedom and my personal information because "everyone else is doing it"
Wow, congratulations on being "normal". If normal == retarded I'd rather be weird.
Shut up, you have no clue what you're talking about.
Spending most of your time showing off yourself and trying so fucking hard to make yourself look better is tantamount to the swelling of a baboons rear, you're white literally a monkey in heat at that point.
I guess my only advice is to be honest. Wait another week or so and if you're still having to be the one to initiate, ask them about it. Say something like: "This is what I think our relationship is. I feel as though I am always having to be the one to plan our dates/get-togethers/whatevers". Just make sure to be open and honest about it, not argumentative/confrontational. If this person cares for you as much as you care for them, then they should understand your feelings and be willing to make some sort of compromise.
Alright. I mean not even sure what I'd gain from that.
A lot actually, I do it all the time. You could still be lying, you just need to switch device/browser/IP and the (you) flag won't appear. Just saying. Not to mention it's easy to just edit the image.
That would still help, unless you mean you're somehow changing it to the IP of someone else posting here and getting the same ID to impersonate them. You can pretend to be different people. You wouldn't be able to pretend you're the same as another poster though. Hence my comment.
This is also fun, I think I win.
Shh! Don't tell them that you're me.
Hello fellow /g/entooman, what are you doing here?
Just edit the image, and yes having several IPs at hand helps a lot.
Don't tell me what to do. You're not my real dad.
>Just edit the image, and yes having several IPs at hand helps a lot.
What? I meant /adv/ should have ID's as part of 4chan. There wouldn't be an image to edit. Several IPs wouldn't get you the exact IP and ID of another user that's posting. Like you couldn't pretend to be OP, your ID wouldn't match.
>You can pretend to be different people. You wouldn't be able to pretend you're the same as another poster though. Hence my comment.
I already said that. You aren't making a new point.
My girlfriend has been treating me like shit for months. I guess she made out with one of her "girl" friends over the Christmas Holidays(my dad also passed out drunk at the table during our lonely supper of three and earlier i got in a car accident, happy holidays fuckers) and she did it again over this last weekend. The real issue lies in the fact she has "feelings" for her friend. When we got home the night that it happened this last time, she proceeded to scream, punch me in the face and throw shit like a crazy bitch. Only mentioning remorselessly what she had done when we woke up the next morning. Im doing quite well in the Trades, i own a home. Her company sucks. I saw nothing wrong with our lives, shes going to school for welding in the fall but she must have snapped. I dont want to see her to self destruct but i dont know if i can trust her again. I think she wants me to get mad at her. Its just not in me. I watched my mother scream at my depressed father my whole 20 years at home. I learned to be a stone in that house.
>Live in isolated Cdn town
>Been with two girls, i'm picky
>Think i went stuck my dick in crazy for 3 yrz
>Still love crazy
>Cant make the decision to save self
>Worried time will run out to be young
>Worried for any future that lies ahead
This is a blue board. People who ask that are stupid because you can't post them here anyway.
But also, don't go to 4chan for advice if you're not willing to be attacked and trolled in between the pieces of advice you get.
So is my main board but it doesn't stop me.
7 out of 10 of my usual replies are hate and ppl telling me to kill myself I've gotten used to it I just feel guilty given the context of what I was asking advice about.
anyway bye ;-;
Guys do you think its weird to wake up and find your girlfriend looking at you?
When he comes over I always wake up before my boyfriend and sometimes I just look over at his face and stare at him for awhile... I guess because he's handsome when he sleeps.
Would you take that as a compliment or be creeped out if your gf looks at you when you sleep?
Hi ladies and Gents, im high as F*** and had some good realizations this evening
>Had a successful date with a female (shes 24, im 23)
>We hit it off well with many similar interests (food, same field of study, strange, funny)
>Messaged her to say I really enjoyed it and she agreed
>See her at work (supermarket), couldn't talk for long, she mentioned later when messaging she understood and didn't mind
>Two days later I message asking how she was and to let me know when shes free next, referencing a place she suggested the first date
>No response since (5 days)
>Got sad and started to resent her
>Work colleague says she's playing hard to get (chick friend)
>Cbf playing that
>Tonight she shows up at work, I play it cool acting like nothings weird
>She smiles and chats for 30 seconds, then gets going in a bit of a hurry, I gave a bit of crooked smile to make it obvious I was a bit upset she didn't want to talk for long (especially after being unable to speak to her the first visit), but not in a creepy way, it was more instinct than anything
Its got me thinking, if she was really uninterested she would shop somewhere else or once I finish my shift (we discussed all of my days/times lengthily).
I know how complicated girls are and I think this could be her way of saying shes still around and likes to see me, but I have to prove that im good enough (through patience and keeping it cool every time I see her).
Now I need some advice on what to do next.
Im thinking I should reference the last message the next time I see her, in a cheeky way like "hey, so im still waiting for you to know when you're free, how about this Saturday?", smiling and stuff.
Not really. My girlfriend does it too on occasion.
I guess it also depends on the type of relationship dynamic you have and how long you've been together.
Heads up though, "I watch him while he sleeps" is a flat out creepy line. Never word it like that lol.
Did I scare away my chance of winning over a girl? It's been a month since I've told her I liked her. We both agreed that we'd postpone our relationship after the next few months once our exams were finished. In between that time the time I do get to see her for a bit I shower her with small talk and may be too much complements. Although lately I've noticed that she talks less to me and does "seem" to show much interest. Did I show I was too eager by too much complements? Did I miss my chance in the few month break? help me out please /adv/
is being taller than the guy any better?
>no stable job
You just said you work at a childcare center. Either make that stable or start looking for better jobs
Where I come from, this gives me an excuse to drive you anywhere.
>live off your parents
maybe the only real problem. please get a job and learn to fend off for yourself.
bottom line, if a guy really liked you he wouldn't make too much of a big deal any of these except maybe for the "live of my parents" bit. Just keep looking for better jobs.
Is independence attractive? Women with hussle?
Cause I have none of that. It's been 2 years looking for jobs and all I have is casual. Which is actually lucky, in my area finding a full time job terrible.
>meeting up with girl for weekend staying at hers
>not sure if this is just as friends or not
Should I ask her? Not out of the blue but next time we're talking just somehow slip the question in.
Independence is sought after if the guy plans on sticking with you for the long run. You dont honestly expect him to pull your weight forever right? Some guys don't mind but most in the long run will.
If jobs are scarce then you have a reason, he'll understand if you're honest about that. If you really enjoy your job then no need to even bother finding another.
if its not too big then I'll accept it. Remember guys its the thought that counts.
are you ready for the next level anon?
How do I get over her? I spent a couple of months working up the courage to ask her out, I did and all she did was start crying and run away. She's 25, I'm 26. We work nearby each other and I'm dreading running into her. I think about her every day but her reaction I don't know what to make of.
If you're still up for it, slowly inch your way to that question.
>oh hey, are you gonna bring any friends?
>do you have any siblings at home
and eventually after awhile you get there.
Guys: what is this shit? Every guy i ever got serious with has that one "female friend". That one who clearly thrives off of his attention, yet he's absolutely blind to this fact. It drives me up the walls, seriously. I do believe that friendships are very well possible between male and femal, but that's not a friendship. It's her using the guy as a beta orbiter to make her feel better. To always have somebody to be a bit flirty, get positive responses and thus feed her ego. And i can't believe that almost every guy is orbiting atleast one such girl (mind you, i'm not talking about mr. No-confidence) Sometimes since years. How can guys be that naive?
But most importantly: How do i handle this as the gf?
I don't want to be the controlling bitch telling him to cut contact. That's not my business, really. But i can't approve of my bf feeding into the agenda of an attention-whore either.
How am I supposed to have a friendship with a women when women try to turn me into an emotional sponge. Like I get that women are more emotional and need to talk about these things, but Im not about to be that guy who massages your shoulders after you get pumped and dumped. And I limited to the only female friend of mine being my gf?
I'm an 18 yr old virgin female with very little experience with kind of intimacy or romantic relationship
Would knowing that affect whether or not I'm a candidate for casual sex in your mind?
He's not shy, I am. I've learned I don't get along well with other shy people (as friends or dating) because neither of us know how to initiate any kind of social interaction. I'm not old enough to drink, (americunt here) so using alcohol to loosen up isn't an option
>catch a girl staring at me
>I stare back at her
>remember that I read online that men aren't supposed to look away first
>full 10 Mississippi seconds of uninterrupted eye contact before she looks away
What was this? Was I being creepy? Was she being creepy? Was it supposed to be a sign of attraction?
Then let him lead the way. Shyness is also appealing in their own way and forces the guy to take the lead if he wants to progress. If he loses interest in you after awhile, he's not worth your time.
Its because we have to deal with this shit all the time so we dont even see it.
We honestly think all women are abusers. But if its simply in your nature we learn to role with the punches. Talking to her directly about it, then telling him what she said is the only way to get him to think about stopping it.
No, I would go for you anyway if you were good looking, pretty much everything else is irrelevant.
That being said you most likely aren't attractive or alternatively aren't into casual sex. If you are into it now though then you are good for that.
I just... I think he genuinely doesn't see it. He's just being "nice". I don't know if i'm reading too much into it because i'm overly possesive of my bf but i get that wild feeling when i think about her. Maybe it's the cave woman shining trough. I mean, i trus him completely. It's not that i think he could have feelongs for her or cheat on me. I just can't stand the fact that she is ABUSING my man.
You dont get it. Its like looking at something but not recognizing what you are looking at. Wed never accept that kind of treatment from another guy. But if its a women we see them as abusers and dont recognize anything is wrong. Because shes acting as any woman would.
Hmm.... I think I maybe have a friend who maybe might see me like that, but I don't see her that way. We get flirty, and there are times when I can tell she's just talks to me to dump or fishing for compliments... but at the same time, I don't really mind because, as my girlfirend put it, "She's like a little sister you adore, and you're someone she really respects."
To be honest, there are definitely times where she's a bit of an attention whore and it's kind of like... "really girl, grow up a bit", but by nature, she's one of the more genuine and nicest people I know, so most of the time... in my head it's kind of like dealing with a cute kitten that's meowing at you because she wants to be petted. You just kind of can't help it and don't really at all mind doing it because you're just thinking, "Dawwww"
Funny thing is, my girlfriend felt kind of threatened by her at first, and then she actually talked to her and they became even closer friends than her and I lol.
Ha. That might be it. I haven't met the girl in question yet so she is like this undefineable thing to me and i can't properly handle that. I might change my view when i get to know her. Thanks anon! I'll just let her off the hook untill i get to know her better. That was actually helpfull.
But, one last question remains. What's in for you in this friendship?
Okay I need a serious womans opinion on how she would like to have a situation handled if it were about her.
I dont casually sleep around. I have no intention of ever doing so. Furthermore when looking for a gf it effects my decision, however if its a serious relationship its probably not okay.
How should I handle dating while taking her feelings into consideration. I usually tell her Im not looking for a serious long lasting relationship beforehand if I know shes casually slept around. But relationships between to almost compatible people always seems to get more serious.
ok im gonna ask a question now too:
>been having contact with a girl for 1 week
>know her from a club
>try to meetup with girl
>make date and time
>she says she cant come, cause its gonna be too late
>make another date
>thinking: ok she doesnt want to meet up
>stop texting her
>after 1-3 days she writes me "hello" and we chat for a little while until she stops replying
>again 1-3 days later same thing happens
>repeats for 2 weeks
Can anyone tell me what she wants? And if i should ask to meet her again?
The texts are pretty boring because i dont know what to write to her
we werent there and cant make out the context and her expression so anyone of us cant help you with this one.
But if I had to guess i think she was attracted
But if you are uglo she probably was creeped out
I was speaking more in general terms, I doubt most orbiters have gf's.
Two reasons might be that either you aren't giving him enough attention or he developed the "friendship" before you and now has trouble giving up on it, bit like sunk cost fallacy or Stockholm syndrome.
Sometimes life just truly comes in front of dates so maybe you are just unlucky.
Just be direct with her, tell her you don't want to be an orbiter and tell her if she still wants to go to a date make her decide the time and place so it actually fits her schedule.
umm, we're way past talking about those things.
I was thinking just a pretty direct question because the way we've looked and glanced at each other and the fact that we talk on the phone or message each other everyday makes it so we just talk about anything.
The best way to meet people is to hang out with people, unfortunately. Here's the story of how my current relationship started:
>FT student, FT job
>Live an hour away from all my friends
>Lose contact with pretty much all of them, never really get invites anymore
>One day see on Facebook friends are pregnant
>Message my congratulations out of politeness
>As a result get invited out for the first time in years
>That invite leads to another invite
>Accept invite, catch up with an old acquaintance at party
>Hit it off
Before all of this I was content to busy myself with school and work and rarely went out. As much of a hassle it felt like to be social with people I didn't really care about, that ultimately led to my relationship today.
I guess what I'm advocating is just cast a wide net, because you never know what interaction will ultimately lead to where you want to go.
I think I'm fairly good looking. 111 lbs at 5'7", take care of my skin, and I don't have any body mods
Not super happy with my jaw but my haircut has side pieces that help hide it. Surgery some day maybe
Well, i do think i give him all the attention he needs. But how would i know.
Yes, she was his "friend" before me and that's the main reason i think i don't have the right to interfer or get between them at all. It just feels extra weird. I mean i had some guy friends too that weren't actual friends. I just enjoyed to flirt with them but it was mutually clear that there's wasn't anything serious. Just banter. You bet the first thing i did when things got serious between my bf and me was deleting those guys. Not doing so would basically mean i want to keep them incase things with my bf won't work out and i go back to being single and doing whatever i want. But for me, that's no foundation to ground a relationship on. If i enter into something serious i assume this is going to last so i cut all ties from my previous single lifestyle. Why don't guys do this?
So even you had orbiters.
Most people are just like this though
>i want to keep them incase things with my bf won't work out and i go back to being single and doing whatever i want.
Orbiters are free emotional sponges and some of them might even be good back ups.
Is the friend single?
Did you cut contact with your orbiters when they might have got a girl friend of their own?
And often times it's not mutually clear even if you think it is, especially with the higher orbitals.
i'm now going to assume that you are one of those people that has to defend female/male "friendship" till the very end because you have one and can't admit that it's not just a friendship on eyelevel.
you basically are telling me that i have to tolerate every girl my bf calls a "friend" just because hurr durr "equality and friendship". if she'd genuinely be a good person i wouldn't mind. but she isn't interested in creating a mutually beneficial friendship. she just uses him as an emotional sponge and a ego booster everytime she needs one for free. and i am NOT ok with that.
admitedly. in some way. it was just one guy really. we met online and texted. then we met up, yes,, we made out, but we have already CLEARLY etablished that we aren't compatible for something serious. we just both were lonely and bored so we kind of created a win win situation. i haven't slept with him thought. and yes, i would have cut contact IMMEDIATELY if he had gotten a gf. that was also part of our "deal".
the friend is recently single again. she has an on/off relationship with some cheating asshat. that doesn't make me trust her and her people skills any better.
the contact with that "orbiter" has already faded out to nothing after i have gotten to know my bf and it was just the natural thing to delet him.
well, if i go on a date with yo and find out you are also going on dates with other girls, yes i'd be dissappointed. mainly because it makes you seem desperate. it shows me that you are in need to have more than one line open and that you don't really care which girl will be "the one" in the end. yes. admitedly i want to feel special to somebody that's going to be my bf. in return i 'll do the same for him. but then again i only go on dates with guys i already know and can see me having a relationship with.
Girlfriend has a naturally flirty personality. She's attractive. Should I be worried? We've discussed it and she says she can see what I'm talking about, and I'm not about to ask her to change how she interacts because it's not that bad. But long term, do you think it will be a problem?
Flirty as in she enjoys the male attention she frequently receives. I would say it's a form of entertainment/validation for herself. I'm pretty sure I can trust her, she's a very honest character often to a fault. FWIW I don't think she'd cheat on me with these guys, she seems to really dig me but I suppose you never know?
well, i mean it's nice to get attention for your looks, no doubt. but does it bother you that she basks in this kind of validation? or are you a bit proud to be with such a desireable girl?
Going to meet up with her over the weekend and I asked her if it's just something as friends or what.
She said she's happy if I just want us to be friends at first or if it leads to something more.
She just called me funny, lovely, super cool.
I don't fucking know if I'm getting friendzoned. I told her of course I'm happy to see where it goes too.
My previous relationship was nine years ago. She was sexually abusive. First it was coercion, then violence towards herself ("fuck me or I'll kill myself"), then violence towards me. All the fingers on my right hand have scars from being knifed. She died and that's how I got out of the relationship.
I don't have baggage. Initially I was scared of women. Not "boo" scared, but intense discomfort and distrust, but I've got over it. I've dated since but haven't had sex since: it takes me a bit longer to trust someone enough to sleep with them.
If your boyfriend told you this, how would you react? I've never told anyone, but I'm getting serious with this one girl and I guess it'd be an eventuality that I told her. I don't know if I should be nervous about revealing this or not.
It would be a huge turn-off/red flag for me
mainly because I'm attractive and have a lot of things going for me, generally a great catch
so of course I'm going to want to be with someone who can acknowledge that
but the same would likely go for any girl with self-respect, no matter her attractive-ness...which is the only type you should date anyways. Confidence and self-respect
Here's one of the scars. She held my hand down and sliced it open. Sure it's not very prominent but you can see it if you looked at my hand.
but what if you aren't really? you may get a lot of fuckboy attention in your life because they don't really discriminate, in fact, they're mostly only doing it with people who they deem attractive and if you are attractive well tough shit you gonna get fuckboy'd on
Honestly I'd stop seeing him
How big of a wuss do you need to be to let a woman cut you up? Its unmanly and unattractive. Id be supportive of first but just to buy enough time to make an exit
Take a below average man and he could take control even if a slightly above average woman starting physically hurting him
A woman being abused is bad because she has no real way out, but a man? Knock her the fuck out and be done with it
It'd possibly be a deal breaker for me. Not because "omg wuss" because only idiots like >>16705251 who don't understand how abuse works would think that.
However, I simply can't believe you when you say you don't have baggage. I know people who have been abused. It never goes away.
I did answer it
No, I don't have the same thoughts about women who are in an abusive relationship. It can be tough to get out considering the physicality of men
A woman can fight back sure, but consider the potential outcomes. A man would win most times
I don't know what baggage I could have. I had trust issues with women, so much so I didn't like being in a room alone with one. Even my female friends. I'm more comfortable around women now and don't have any kind of fear.
The only lasting thing I have is lack of intimacy? I'm not quick to become intimate. I wouldn't have sex on a first or second date, for example, since I need to trust someone before I sleep with them.
I'm just saying I know both men and women who have been abused, in relationships or by their familys. It always shows. Their sense of self worth often becomes permanently damaged. Not really their confidence, but believing their valuable.
Maybe that's not the case with you, and that's great if so.
The law where I live is fair enough. Unless we were earning significantly different amounts of money, there's no point. I'd think you were an idiot if you brought it up, since I'm a law student and relationship property is my interest area, so I'd have taught you a thing or two about it. Not only that, but relationship property information is available in layman's terms everywhere. If you brought up a prenup, it'd just show you have no idea what you're talking about, and that you're possibly becoming an MRA. At the very least, it'd show you gobble up everything you hear without questioning it. All in all, you'd basically be too stupid to marry.
New Zealand. By the time we got to the marriage stage, we'd probably have been together long enough so that we're considered a de facto couple, which is basically subject to the same relationship property law as a married couple upon the breakdown of a relationship.
You need to learn what a prenuptial agreement is and isn't. It's to document what you entered the marriage with and spell out things that are specifically yours, being products of things you entered the marriage with. For example, if you enter the marriage with a trust fund, a prenup might protect the earnings from the annuity. If you're an artist, profit from the sale of artwork that you created before the marriage might be protected, or residuals on films, which is why they're so popular in California.
It does not protect (read, you might live in a state where it does, but that's not normal) wages that you earn during the marriage no matter who makes more. You can't get a prenup because "muh STEM degree and muh high earning potential" while your wife is a librarian, it doesn't work that way.
>Earning more or less than your spouse generally isn't an issue while you're married, because there's a presumption that both people share and share alike. But in the event of a split, a prenuptial agreement can set a limit — either a minimum or a maximum — on the amount the higher-wage earner pays or the lower-wage earner would get.
No, but I was answering your question as I would see it. You asked a law based question, and the fact that the law isn't the same everywhere is relevant
It's like you just chose to pick out the bits that make you maddest and focus on those.
The rest was you saying how anyone but you doesnt know what theyre talking about. For all you know Im also a law student.
You seemed to take prenups as a sign that people dont know what theyre talking about. I did you a favor and ignored the nonsensical parts.
I only asked how women feel about them. Id love to her more about how you view the law but dont assume youre in a superior position.
It's easy to notice when a normal girl is flirting with you.
But what about very friendly girls? I'm talking about the ones that have more male friends than female friends.
I find that shit so confusing, I can't tell if they're flirting with me or not.
Gf laughed when she saw I trimmed my pubs were too short (over did the trimming), and I am a grower not a shower.
I laughed it off with her, but deep down it hurt. To top it off she wasn't in the mood to fuck (she's been working long hours and wasn't in the mood prior to seeing my dick, I sleep nude).
Definitely not making the mistake of trimming too short again (I am a hairy man so it looks odd), but damn. I know I would avoid laughing at my gf for something like that..
How fucked up is this?
It's not exactly a good feeling when someone is looking down at your dick and is giggling, and not in a excited sort of way.
I know she likes fucking me, but still.
I played it off because I know taking it seriously would only further have made me look bad.
You trimmed you pubs and she laughed. Its like getting a stupid harcut. You should have chosen better. If you didnt ask her opinion beforehand you have no right to stop her from laughing.
at what age do females generally grow out of the "I read some women's magazine article and now I take forever to respond to text messages to make him want me even more" phase?
Seriously, whenever some chick pulls this shit on me and I realize it's intentional, I stop contacting her just to get a text message a couple of weeks later saying some shit like "hey stranger". Fucking sloots I swear.
>Met a girl a few months back
>Added her on facebook, along with a few other people I met that night.
>Haven't spoken to her since.
At the time, I didn't want to date anyone, so didn't bother taking any initiative to speak to her (figured, I'd either see her at the same place, or not). But now I think I'm ready for a relationship, and remember she was kinda cute. How do I go about messaging her to ask her out? Or did I leave it too long for it to not be weird now?
it might be weird but what do you have to lose? Just ask her how she's doing and if she wants to go for a cup of coffee with you some time. This will show her your intentions and either she says yes or she says no. If not then move on. You're not emotionally involved with her yet so it should be easy. You also don't need an elaborate scheme. Unless there is a way you can meet her "by accident" like through mutual friends, asking directly is your best bet. There is nothing else to be achieved through texting because any kind of banter after such a long time will be out of place.
Give it a try but don't get your hopes up too high.
Cool, thanks man. It's my first time asking a girl out for over a year (aside from drunkenly hitting on girls at parties), so I'm a bit useless at what to say. Thanks the advice though, especially the part about not having anything to lose and staying grounded.
>I don't have time/I'm not ready for a relationship right now
This is horseshit, right?
Like, if you're good enough, people will make time for you right? Or could this fucking ever be genuine?
It's often meant to mean what you're suggesting, but sometimes it's literally true. There are indeed people who can't make enough time to be fair to a relationship. I broke up with one of my exes over that very reason. There are only so many hours in a day and some people don't know how to make it all work.
If my boyfriend came out with that id be supportive of him and maybe take things slower than usual, I think most girls would think along similar lines to me when the care about someone
While that is clearer and more useful for you, it's often a safer bet for the person doing the rejecting to use the horseshit. Keeping the explanation personal ("I don't," "I'm not") reduces the risk of confrontation.
People react much more strongly toward negative things than they do toward positive things. Twenty reasonable, polite gentlemen could inspire comfort in a girl, but even one story about an aggressive stalker in a friend's cousin's classmate's life will have a stronger impact in arousing worry. This is just how people work. None of us are really in a place to change human nature. As long as the idea of confrontations exist, many women are going to take the safer route.
I guess I just need to find a place where I can get rejected for real. It's just easier when the harshness comes from someone else than when I have to do the heavy lifting of shitting on myself for them.
You neither have to get bluntly worded rejections nor shit on yourself over rejection in general. It's possible to look at dating as merely an invitation to share something you enjoy with another person, view anything except an enthusiastic "yes" as a way to decline the offer and dismiss that answer as an irrelevant insight into someone else's preferences.
You're going out to have fun. They're welcome to come. They don't want to? Whatever, their loss. It's as meaningful as someone clicking "Maybe" on a Facebook event invitation.
I appreciate the insight. I needed to read that.
I've had my confidence shaken by a recent dry spell so this has been timely.
Girl I really like wants a picture of my body. But I don't want to send her one. I said no, but she keeps pestering me asking for a picture. How do i make her stop asking without making her upset?
The only thing I'm slightly concerned with is that another guy will send her pictures. Because in general us guys are easy... We arnt dating, but I really like her. But i just feel too self-conscious to send a body pic
So not only do you find her request unreasonable, but you think she's playing other guys on the side just because you won't jump through her hoops?
If you were my brother and told me that you wanted to date a girl like this, I'd break your nose.
What does the past have to do with your current situation? Why are you obsessed about your virginity? (who gives a shit)
Girls working with children is something I personally love very much, also who cares about your wealth?
None of the things you mentioned I see negative in any way, but rather positive.
Most people never experience true, unconditional love in their life, because love doesn't exist until it's tested. Unless you have sacrificed your life to save hers you are not experiencing actual love. Right now you are probably just feeding off the pheromones, oxytocin, and endorphins that come from your attraction, give it a couple years and you can start moving toward what actually constitutes love.
What would be a great guy to be with? I am 21 and I have one year at my disposal to change my body (lifting cardio and almost no sugar)what else can I do to deserve love, someone that care's for me,is love even real ? The only time I loved someone was when I was 11,she was 16
For some reason older girls had a weird thing for me,weird aggressive but loving at the same time
I'm just confused and hurt,being alone hurts
No Facebook or nothing,I plan to make a proper one when I look decent
If a woman wants to have a threesome with you and one of her family members, like her sister or mother, should you go for it? Especially if she says she and her family member are going to be getting sexy with each other.
>Is it legal to reply?
Of course it fucking is, you're not confessing to any crimes or threatening anyone yourself. I wish I were rich so I could pay to give you full ride tuition to law school so you would become educated enough not to ask such stupid questions.
I'm annoyingly pretentious, egotistical and dramatic, and also a sadist who enjoys schadenfreude and watching other people have bad luck. Most of my favorite conversation subjects are boring, unsexy intellectual shit.
Would a relationship between me and anyone ever work out?
1. I'm a massive sissy, so quite often.
2. No, there is no such thing. Every 'bad girl' I've ever met has ended up being an attention seeking retard.
3. I cry anywhere. Its a problem.
4. Hang out with better people.
People looking at my face doesn't freak me out, no.
Childcare definitely is.
I wouldn't dislike it.
Hahahaha. I don't know. Talk to another woman? I'm sure you'd forget about her in a heartbeat.
Find better guys.
kekek. I like that. You're doing fine. Don't worry about it.
I feel your pain, brother.
All the time. They're the best ones.
Depends on how you ask.
>What's in for you in this friendship?
I guess this thread is long done, but just in case you check back:
What's in it for me? Uhh... friendship? *shrug*
when we're with each other we have a blast and we get along amazingly well. Meeting quality people you can be good friends with is a rare thing in life, and for all her foibles (we all have our own) I've come to think of her as a genuinely good person.
I like to surround myself with those rare individuals because I feel like it makes life better. I feel like if I ever truly needed her, she'd at least make an effort to be there for me.