My girlfriend is constantly telling me being a woman online is hard, and harassment and misogyny is everywhere... shes recently started becoming a social justice advocate and its been effecting our communication and relationship a lot...
The thing is, my friend who is a woman, keeps refuting my girlfriend around every corner, and its gotten to the point where my girlfriend wants me to stop talking to her, telling me shes wrong and is just a product of the patriarchy.
what the hell do I do? I don't want to ditch my friend... the arguments shes told me are pretty sound and I mean I see it whenever I play games with her... why would my girlfriend lie about things like being online and getting harassed?
on a basic relationship level you have to ask
>shoudl i let my girlfriend dictate who my friends are
if she doesn't want to hang out with your friend, thats her business, but she shouldnt be trying to control who you hang out with in private time.
"you're right. Women have it much harder interacting with rude opinions online because they are inherently weaker and more thin-skinned than men."
either you're right or she's being thin-skinned about it
>and then she breaks up with you
anyways - never ever let a woman determine who you can or cannot be friends with. That's inappropriate relationship behavior.
My friend has told me about what its like being a woman online, you get free shit on steam and MMO's and waaay less hate in competitive games. Shes a big time shit talker on Smite and no one says shit back to her because shes a woman, she has tons of guys trying to add her and even has a few who buy her shit in game.
It doesn't though, all her friends quack the same shit at eachother. My girlfriend doesn't play games at all yet she still thinks she can chime in on every game I play.
she claims its video game misogyny that makes her not want to play games... she says she can't identify with the female characters in games because they're sexualized... my friend says she never had any problem playing sexualized characters because you're not supposed to be them, you control them, only "Faggots with constantly bleeding vaginas who read twilight" have to identify with a lead character.
I get harassed every now and then, but something tells me your girlfriend is doing shit to incite it.
Someone says 'lol everyone on my team plays like girls'
and she probably HAS to respond "ACTUALLY studies show that 10 out of 8 vaginas are dept at video games even when they don't play with an inverted Y axis!!"
Which.. is just... BEGGING for it. Most people assume I'm a 12 year old boy on Xbox Live. And I don't bother correcting them. She should probably just do that, and stop arguing over the internet.
Tell her she can't identify with them because she's actively looking for things that piss her off. And that her constant bitching is tiresome and triggers you. Tell her her the only reason she doesn't play vidya is because she knows she sucks at it (that should get her to play at which point she'll become one of us). Also tell her that Anita Sarkeesian is a ruthless jew who has done the unimaginable and turned fem studies shit into a profitable career peddling fabricated controversy.
Ignore these guys who feel like when those girls are hot they deny them for the rest of their lives.
Dude, just tell your girlfriend you like her and keep on trying to show her you like her. If she's your girlfriend then she likes you.
tell your narcissistic girlfriend that the world does not revolve around her and that the internet is not going to change for her comfort level.
>shes recently started becoming a social justice advocate and its been effecting our communication and relationship a lot...
I stopped readin right there
Leave her, m8. She's been bitten by a tumblrina and is no longer her human self. Run while you still can, because now all she has is an appetite for male tears. She'll start growing a gunt and getting dykier and dykier hair dosbefore you know it
If by "harassed" you mean "given free in-game currency, items, and sometimes entire games," then yeah, I was harassed all the time when I played multiplayer games. But then again, I was PC, not XBox or something. From my understanding, the console online gaming crowd is a lot worse.
>Bitches about something she doesn't know
>Arguments don't even make sense
>Makes people who actually fight for quality and women's rights in parts of the world where women are actually struggling and their work look like a joke
>Trying to control who you hang out with
>the arguments shes told me are pretty sound
>It might not be lying but if she has such a fixated victim-mindset and can't handle being online because of being slightly offended, then what she tells is probably super-biased
Solution: A) if she so triggered by being online, tell her to avoid places where there's shit that offends her and B) that there are a good number of people that won't adhere to her PC fantasies or give a shit about her problems
So why are you tolerating this shit?
Shes always a Tank... she plays a lot of Ares and Bacchus, sometimes Athena or Khumbakarna, though apparently some guy is going to buy her the ultimate god pack so she told me shes gonna go apeshit for a while.
shes a riot to play with, though she isn't very good... I haven't played with her in a long ass time, last time I talked to her she said she still plays it and League of Legends inbetween binges of Metal Slug and Doom.
I think I can give you some perspective on this. I've been gaming since I was young, I can't really think of a single time I was ever targeted for my gender.. but then again, I only use the microphone when I'm playing with my boyfriend and people he introduced me to, so the shitheads are basically filtered out for me. On the other hand, I never really swam in free stuff like other women who play vidya supposedly do. It may be that men exaggerate it, or perhaps it is because I keep to myself and don't flirt. Whatever the case, it's rather uneventful.
I don't doubt that some women do face discrimination online, but part of the problem may be that she sees the normal aggressive shitflinging and thinks she's being targeted specifically when really, everyone gets shit on online.
That being said, I have targeted other women online because they're easier to tilt. I'll also target anyone who is bitching too much or seems easy to upset, because it will make them play worse and give my team an advantage.. but if I'm ignored, I move onto the next target.
I don't think your girlfriend is lying. I think she believes what she's saying but her perspective is skewed. If you look for sexism, you will find it. I bet she's turning a blind eye to the positive points to being a woman online.
I think the fact that she can't tolerate you being friends with someone with a different opinion than her to be a huge red flag. She's threatened by your friend because on some level she thinks she may be wrong and can't refute her arguments. Between the two, I'd ditch the insecure controlling girlfriend..
Tell your GF to "shut up!" and let her know she can't tell you who you hang out with.
Why are you being such a limp wrist faggot about this? Maybe your gf is frustrated by your "soft" demenour, and feels she now has to wear the pants in your relationship because your such a wimp. Hence why she has become a SJW and is trying to boss you around. Maybe she's waiting for you to "step up".
"It's cool you found something you want to be passionate about and advocate; you have a right to your own opinion and I'm proud of you for voicing it.
But just because you've got an opinion, doesn't mean it should dictate what happens in MY life. Respect me as much as I'm respecting you or we're done."
For context, my girlfriend is also a borderline SJW. She says her piece and knows that I respect opinions, but also knows that I think what I think and she has to respect that too.
Entertain your girlfriend, play along. Most women are irrational creatures, so you might as well get used to it.
Find games you both enjoy. Find activities you both enjoy. Say you'll play less video games if she stops bringing up politics all the time. Compromise.
The only answer is to kill your girlfriend. Her mind has been poisoned by this SJW tumblr shit and there's no cure. You're better off doing her ol' yeller style than having her poison the minds of others. I'm sorry, OP, I know it must be a tough pill to swallow. You have to do this though... For the good of everyone.
>people have attempted to dox me several times
>constantly have to change my online screen names
>can't have a normal conversation without them pushing lewd topics and having to block 99% of people after less than five minutes
>try talking to other girls to avoid this but most of the "girls" end up being nasty guys too
more like it's hard being an attractive girl on the Internet. the flood of unwanted penises and creepy men borderline stalking you doesn't really ever stop
and the favorite
>having to tiptoe around your gender in threads because otherwise you'll get shit all over for it
not saying your gf is right to try and dictate your friends, but you don't sound very understanding of her point in the first place
Perhaps if you didn't bring up your gender for topics where it's completely irrelevant then you wouldn't have that problem :^) The countless threads I've read where they start talking about some game and its mechanics then mention for no reason that they're a girl. Fucking retarded.
I'm not even talking about that "femanon here" shit or whatever. I'm talking about any conversation either making sure I don't use any sort of language indicating I'm a girl, changing stories to guy pronouns, all of that shit
but since you're assuming you already know all you should and are already passing judgements, it's not like it matters. the funny part is that people like you are the exact reason it's happening
break up with your girlfriend. if she asks why tell her you triggered her and that out of personal solidarity you're going to keep the reason to yourself. And if she continues to question why is harassment and victim blaming.
Because I don't care about your girl status, I care when you insert your girl status unnecessarily, get shit on for it, and then complain like it's everyone else's fault.
Its OK, I wouldn't expect small woman brains to understand such an advanced concept :^)
I'm glad I don't play any games where I need to go on mic. I just don't say anything, people assume I'm a guy by default, and they tend to like me. I play male characters since I tend to like their armor better. So I kind of get the not relating with female characters thing.
I miss when I did the same thing years ago, when AIM had that game CryWolf. Pretended to be a guy so I'd stop getting messaged, as you had to use your aim sn in game (I was 15, no experience with guys or dating, and I'd get messaged sometimes asking about masturbating and sex). Then as a guy, people just seemed to like me. Guys and girls would follow me and join my games. It was cool, but sort of weird. Seemed easier to be social in a group.
So as a girl online, more likely to get creepy messages. As a guy, more likely to make friends. Strange thing to know, since I didn't change my personality. I just used names/characters that seem male. But that's how I deal with it.
If your girlfriend is trying to dictate who you can or can't associate with, dump her. As a woman, I've never had trouble relating to characters of a different gender or race or, uh, sluttiness level (idk who the hell even cares about that desu) and so on. Girls do have a more annoying online experience, but not to the level where it should effect someone deeply enough that they as you to leave your friends with a different opinion.
My friend is very attractive and she says stalkers are only a problem if... and I am quoting her "A big enough dipshit to put all your shit on facebook" she has a very crass way of talking about things.
Also guys get stalked online too, quite a bit so its not really a gender exclusive problem. Look at all the doxxing SJW's themselves do. Hell my friend says shes more afraid of third wave feminists than a neckbeard wizard on steam.
My friend has a very feminine screen name, and used to go on mic all the time, she doesn't now because her headset is falling apart and shes too cheap to buy a new one yet. This subject has come up before with her, because I ask her if people give her shit with such a girly steam name, and she flat out told me its never a problem, the girls she sees get harassed get harassed because they start shit with people and can't handle it when shit is flung back.
Well for going on mic and stuff too, I'm more of a quiet person. Much better with typing than talking.
I don't expect people to "give me shit" for having a girly name or anything. I don't fight or argue. Just trying to avoid unwanted attention. So it serves me better to just let people assume I'm a guy.
the thing about being a girl is that you tend to focus on the negatives more than the positives.
ie if your gf got harassed once, she'll be more likely to emphasize that single instance. then it becomes a cycle of noticing harassment more and more as if it's a huge phenomenon. your gf may not be lying, but rather exaggerating and overemphasizing things.
Well is she just ruined to the internet and gaming now? is there anything I can do? I mean she drank the SJW koolaid pretty hard and its putting a strain on us, we can't talk about anything anymore.
Correction: it'll probably be best bet for you to tell your current gf that it is a major turn off to be a sjw and if she is to continue, then she should rethink her mentality.
If not, dump and move on.
>she says she can't identify with the female characters in games because they're sexualized
Bayonetta comes to mind. For those who havent seen the game, its about a woman with guns for high heels running around in spandex killing shit.
The kicker? A woman designed her, in an attempt to get more control over her sexuality. By dismissing the game because it has sexual content is in a sense dismissing that womans experiences. It's not like I get insecure over Dante being sexualized a lot of the time either, it's a fucking game.
I'd just fucking move on mate, between the fact she keeps speaking out of her ass about games shes never played and trying to tell you who to talk to I see no real reason to stick around.
>That being said, I have targeted other women online because they're easier to tilt. I'll also target anyone who is bitching too much or seems easy to upset
You've unlocked the secret to 90% of internet harassment. Maybe one day more people will get that.