Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
>Who is Brandon/Female Brandon?
A shitposter who's convinced he's ugly. He keeps posting his picture to ask if he's ugly and to ask for dating advice, only to rebut or ignore any responses he gets. Female Brandon is a girl who pulls the same shit.
Also piss off.
Question for the girls, from a pretty inept guy.
When a girl is obviously, super obviously into me, in a situation where having casual sex is practical, what's the appropriate way to escalate to that? I find myself in situations like that a few times a year (anime cons, mostly), and they always slip away because I just don't have a clue how to present it. I feel like straight coming out and saying "let's go to my room" or "let's go fuck" is super weird.
saying private place is more subtle, but room ain't that bad
fuck on the other hand is a big no no, unless you are going for sluts also
Question for girls:
Why do many (not all) of you feel the need to take thousands of selfies all the time? Especially ones that involve the "duck face" an post them on social media, text them to friends, use on snapchat etc...
Its pretty absurd and is a trait that's almost exclusively female. How is this enjoyable and what's the point? I'm genuinely curious as it honestly seems silly, not to mention narcissistic.
Real quick question for ya,
for the past 4-5 months I've been just chilling and having fun with girls i meet- if there are sparks we fuck and i usually don't push things farther (apart from a few select girls i had short term relationships with)
I just got into a semi serious relationship not even two days ago and immediately one of my the girls i had a short term relationship with started texting me after no REAL contact other then snapchat / me being an asshole and aloof with her whenever we saw each other at parties... I actually am way more attracted to her then my current GF. I know that me moving on crushed her but i wouldn't mind barking up that tree again... advice?
Question for girls:
So, I've finally found a girl and we've officially become a thing as of last friday night. But we've been talking since last year, roughly around november/december. Her birthday is 10 days and I'm thinking it's too early to get her anything of real substance, but then again I see myself dating her months from now and would like that to happen. Maybe something small like flowers or chocolate? Would appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance.
A girl and I were talking what we did that day. We traded pictures of our lunch.
Her: I'm glad to hear you like [foreign food]
Me: it's great! Maybe we could get some together
Her: Good idea!
So...do I just ask? I know a great place for [foreign food], want to try it this weekend?
Last time I asked about meeting at a time, she was busy. I wondering if letting he choose is better or worse. Obviously if she's not into it it's totally moot anyway.
Who do you actually like more? If it's the girl you are semi-serious stick with it. If you are just looking for casual sex, you already know how that works.
But I think you are asking because you want us to stop you.
>Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
Three of these options mean you're gayer than a disco musical, at least two others are a quick path to friendzone and snoozerland boredom. Guess which is which.
There's no way a girl (19 year old college girl) would believe that I'm not dating a girl that she sees me holding hands with frequently, right?
I literally told her that "a lot of my female friends hold my hand" which isn't actually true, but I thought it would be better than saying JUST that girl holds my hand..
My gf had a one night stand with a guy in High School
a few weeks after, her younger sister had sex with the same guy.
now it's been about six years since that, and we've been dating for four years. The younger sister still hangs out with the guy with her group of friends, and sometimes hangs out with her friends including him at their house.
This bothers me, I think it's weird. My gf has told me she is creeped out by the guy since he had sex with her sister, but doesn't seem to care that sometimes the guy is at her house.
It's annoying because her sister will always knock on our door to come hang out with us, and she brings her friends. sometimes the guy is with them, and will sit down and ask to smoke with us or something.
This guy is a total douche and it bothers me when he's around my gf. Recently I noticed my gf is now friends with him on snapchat.
I've called her out in the past for following her ex's on instagram and snapchat, so this really bothers me.
At what point do I say something to her? Seeing his name on her snapchat list turned me off from wanting to have sex with her tonight, I don't think I feel attracted to a girl who wants to stay connected with her ex's. It just makes me lose all feelings for her. especially wanting to stay connected with a guy she had a ONS with, which already bothers me about her.
She had sex with him 6 years ago and this still bothers you? Even if she didn't have him on snapchat, he still hangs around her house with her sister so she's in contact with him anyway
Before the redpills and frogs jump in, honestly, I think this is more your problem than hers.
If you have different views on sex, morals, whatever, either you have to change those, or you have to leave. Talk to her, but don't ever /expect/ your partner to, or you're in the wrong relationship.
The hanging out with us has stopped. last time I saw him I didn't say a word to him.
I'm bigger than him and I think he was intimidated by me being rude.
I think her sister realized it's fucked up to bring her gf's ex-hookup around the house, especially around me.
Still, it bothers me that my gf became friends with him on snapchat. She also follows her ex-bf of three years on snapchat.
I called her out on it a few months ago saying "I just don't see why you need to keep up with your ex's lives. Move on."
she didn't take it well at all, she started calling me insecure. I just told her I'm not interested in a girl who still wants to know what her ex's are up to.
and snapchat to me seems even worse, because you're able to send pictures that get deleted and it's much more subtle than facebook or instagram. snapchat is more personal.
I was so upset when I saw that she added him that I deleted him as a friend. Stupid, I know, but I figured if she calls me out on it I'll just tell her I figured it was a mistake. why would you want to snapchat this guy?
I'm sick of my girlfriend being so nice to everybody, it's really annoying. it seems like everybody perceives her niceness as flirting and then turn into orbiters.
If you trust your girlfriend, you have nothing to worry about. I agree with >>16699877, this is more on you than her. If she hasn't done anything to give you reason to not trust her, then she's right - you're being insecure. If you can accept that she's friends with her ex on snapchat, even if you aren't happy with it, you should be expected to accept this guy too.
The thing is I know that already, I've been trying to convince myself that she's a different person and she has changed her morals.
Stuff like this makes it harder to believe, and makes me want to leave her. I told her I feel disrespected when she follows her ex's. She told me she would feel uncomfortable if I started following my ex's all of a sudden, so I don't see why she thinks it's okay if she does it.
She sucks lately. Wants me to tell her I love her all the time, but rarely wants to have sex. Treats me well with certain things, but then does things she knows I don't like.
not sure if I should dump her or call her out.
>She told me she would feel uncomfortable if I started following my ex's all of a sudden, so I don't see why she thinks it's okay if she does it.
Because you've given her the impression that it's okay for her to do it, or at least that you'll accept it. If the tables were turned and you were the one in contact with your exes, >>16699877 would apply to her too.
Ha, I thought about following my ex's just to make a point.
I looked at her instagram followers...she recently started following my ex girlfriend.
It's like she's trying to fuck with me.
btw. I'm getting the impression maybe you misinterpreted what I said.
When I said
>If you have different views on sex, morals, whatever, either you have to change those, or you have to leave.
I meant you have to change YOUR OWN views, not hers.
Why is it, if a girl has feelings for you and offers sex, and you just want the sex but not the drama, you're evil for not being in a relationship with a girl immediately after having sex?
because when a guy expects sex after being in a relationship, he's a douchebag for only wanting her body, but when a girl expects a relationship after having sex, she's a pure and innocent girl who you took advantage of.
Femanons, do you consider yourelf to be a feminist?
If yes, and if you saw a male colleague being unfairly treated at work because of his gender (e.g. being told to work unpaid overtime because he was male), would you intervene because it wasn't gender equal?
Do women not realize how infuriating it is to guys when they say shitlike "I'm so lonely"?
Didnt get a response before. Asking again
This has plagued me all my life and affects my sex life
When I dont fap I get frogspawn. Some jelly like shit that comes out of my penis instead of sperm.
Im terrified that if I ejaculate a woman will see it and hate everything. Its so bad that I couldnt cum in front of my ex gf and she started crying thinking she wasnt a woman.
I have no idea why the frog spawn occurs or how to get rid of it. If I dont fap for long enough it will come out after I pee.
How should I let a woman know this could come out. I know right now if I ejaculated it would be after a few more weeks it stops coming out when I pee and I never know if I still have it.
Will she freak out.
It's pretty sketchy. They're being stupid and trying to win your heart in all the wrong ways, but that doesn't mean you should try to exploit it.
You may not be evil, but you're not being a good person either.
Its when you have too much prostate fluid, usually in ppl that are always thinking sexually (like myself) , the prostate constantly builds this fluid, and if you do not ejaculate quite often, or often at all, it builds up, and when you urinate, the muscles that are used for urination , or when you have a bowel movement, the muscles that are used to pass the stools, sometimes exercise your prostate, and some leaks into your urethra and passes out. Like many others in this board, i was terrified by it at first, and saw many doctors about it. They all said its normal.
A question for both: Would any of you ever date/have a relationship with someone who had lost all of his/her limbs in a freak accident/due to a birth defect? Otherwise the person would be very healthy, but limbless.
you do realise that the picture is explictly referring to unpopular girls right?
Even unpopular girls can easily get people to talk to them. There's plenty of research showing that women are treated better by both genders on average.
how would you feel if your ex-boyfriend contacted you again after not speaking to you for 12 months with a sincere ''how are you going/where are you at now?'' text message? annoyed, disgusted, or okay with it?
You clearly don't know what that means. There is absolutely no mention of popularity in any context there.
Not that it would make a difference. It doesn't matter how popular someone is, anyone can be lonely.
I struggle to trust my girlfriend (she hasn't done anything to warrant, I'm just a paranoid person). She went out to a club and out of curiosity I looked at the clubs pics from that night. I noticed in one of them a girl with the same hairstyle as my girlfriend (hair pulled back tight, from pics couldn't see many other girls with the hairstyle) making out with some guy. It was too far into the background of the image to be conclusive (can't see much other than the hair from the back), but it makes I can't help but worry its her. We had a fight that night to add to it. What should I do and am I worrying irrationally?
When I get very dressed up, I will take selfies of myself alone in my room. But that's because I find it to be a rare moment that I'm all dolled up. I take a bunch of them, I guess because I'm not a camera person. My poses come out funny. I have very little facial expression/body awareness.
Also, I almost never post them. I'll pick my favorite and update my profile picture every once in a while. Occasionally post one on instagram. But I also just kinda like looking at myself. I don't need the validation from others. But when I think "Holy shit, I actually look kinda pretty in that pic." That one is the keeper.
I never do duck face because that just don't look right on me. Also, I never take selfies in public.
If a guy acted like a total low-energy cuck in a relationship with you, which is probably what drove you to cheat on him. Would you ever be able to be sexually attracted to him again if he improved?
Asking for a friend :^)
Pic related, taught me the importance of having HIGH ENERGY
My gf broke up with me 2 days after I convinced her to talk to her parents about her sexual assault that happened a while ago. (She broke up with me on Monday of last week). Last time I talked to her, she said that she associates me with what happened on Saturday (the day she talked, it was very traumatic as her parents yelled at her, calling her a liar and the sexual assailant was there, who is her cousin). I haven't talked to her since Thursday. What should I do to get her back into my life and be my GF again?
So, I've finally found a girl that likes me back after literally years of searching and we've officially become a thing as of last friday night. But we've been talking since last year, roughly around november/december. Her birthday is 10 days and I'm thinking it's too early to get her anything of real substance, but then again I see myself dating her months from now and would like that to happen. Maybe something small? A friend suggested last night that i send her a sweet text about how i like her and im thinking that could work, but im not sure. What should I do?
Forward leaning reverse cowgirl. The view and the stimulation.
I also find positions that make my gf cum almost instantly pretty hot. Recently we figured out a particular angle of forward facing cowgirl where she basically squats/sits on me while I thrust at her from below. The angle makes it so my penis stimulates her gspot as I penetrate her. Only downside if she squirts like crazy from the position so lots of towels are needed (inb4 urine debate).
She fucking cheated on his ass. She should have talked to him before she did all of that stuff. So, no. He most likely won't ever give her any more sexual satisfaction, since she decided to go elsewhere, and probably thought the cheating sex was better.
You should create a trip just so we can filter you
Look at the picture again. The girl is drinking somewhere with other people. She isn't even alone. Kinda seems like cheating to use that as an example of being "lonely."
Yeah there are people who say they're lonely just to get attention. There are plenty of people who really do feel alone. But seems like a waste to get upset at someone for pretty much saying they're not happy. The first post said it was infuriating to hear women say they're lonely. Kind of a bit much.
My friend really deserved it for being such a cuck though.
But he really cleaned up his act afterwards and can't shake the feelings, even though it might just be a desire to conquer a past failure.
Hey women is there a rule you follow with the friends of your ex?
My friends ex-gf is staying over next weekend she knows I am his best friend. Is this crossing some sort of line normally?
I have poor as fuck resistance to women when I can tell they like me so I should probably make up some excuse to stop this situation. But I have no idea what she is thinking.
Nope, nobody deserves cheating except for the fact that they probably had poor partner choice and didn't see obvious cheating red-flags. Cheaters are cheaters because of who they are, not who they are with or whatever variable circumstances surround their relationship.
Don't make the same mistake again.
My ex gf had a very musky smelling/tasting pussy. I think it was because she'd get wet a lot, and it would just stay all wet and moist down there. But after licking her, it would go away.
*shrug* I'm a dude but I've stayed friend's with all of my friend's EX's
In fact my oldest friend just got broken up with by his gf of like 4 years. It was a pretty messy breakup. I still talk to her.
As long as YOU don't let any lines be crossed, what does it matter? There's no bro-code that says you have to dump your friends or takes sides because of a breakup.
Need young men's perspective on something. On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the weirdest, how weird would it be to find a note like this in your locker at work?
Please read either (or both) of these posts and tell me how good or bad of an idea it would be to tell the people my feelings
Thing is if she stays over at my place I don't know if I can control myself. I never really keep female friends unless I plan to fuck em later. So having an off limits friend is strange for me.
A note itself is off-putting. If there has to be one, I'd rather it not be long. Your feelings are your business. What matters to me is how you intend to act on them. Name, number, invitation. That's all it needs to be.
Lemme make a long story short
>Been friends with this girl for a few years
>She used to have feelings for me but I didn't catch on
>Always had a little crush on her
>We have drunkenly hooked up a few times (she normally starts it)
>Still have feelings for her but she makes it known that she "isn't" into me (going on dates with other guys, always refers to me as a friend etc)
>Has been flirty with me recently (telling me I'm good looking and commenting on how she wouldn't be able to deep throat my dick because it's so big (there is a picture of my dick going around thats another very long story...)
>My feelings for her keep growing
Do you think I have any chance of making a relationship work or should I just leave it at this weird FWB thing we have going on? She always says shit to be like "All guys in this area suck" which makes me think she isn't interested, but she used to do things like this to me during the time that she liked me that made me think she wasn't into me. Help?
Because it's what I'm truly thinking. Like I said, talking about something generally gets it off my chest which is why I'm contemplating telling them
What do you think their first reactions might be if I do tell them?
The first one to MJ... Like a solid 8
The second one to Seth... either a 7 or a 9.
But I have no idea who the fuck you are. Maybe they actually do and it mitigates the weird.
I'll say... that, "I love you because you look like my ex" shit is fucking weird...
For reference I'm using:
1 is normal
5 is random girl on bus who just uncomfortably stares at you
9 is, oh shit, I might have to start locking my windows so crazy stalker doesn't try to sneak in levels.
People who say very little are retards. I used to be fat long haired neckbeard profesional-atheist look where I was openly and always mocked and shamed by girls
Find fit, run, weights, got /fit/bod and cut hair and wore muscle hugging tshirts and i could see girls looking at me all the time, smiling when I looked up back at them
Lots of female attention, but it didnt fix my anxiety and betaness, I was already too damaged from the years of bullying
>lifting for self improvement over girls anyway
I just said that your feelings are your business. "I secretly like you" has no place outside of a middle school.
I couldn't have made it any simpler at the end of my first reply, so I think you might be beyond hope.
Ye if you actually said that like "Hey I really like you but I'm a bit shy so do you wanna go out to coffee with me? t. X"
Instead you go more along the lines of
>You are so beautiful when you are sleeping.... I masturbated into your underwear watching you
she is playing games with u bro... sorry to say it, just try making a move and if she isnt about it fuck off to the next broad.. I know itll be hard to forget her but all u need is a good bro and another girl and your mind will be cleared!
Made me laugh. But the second like isn't true in my case, at least literally. I never imagined anyone sleeping. It wasn't something that crossed my mind. And I said before that one of the guys looks exactly like my boyfriend so... Me and him have never met before yet
Oh yeah I have been with other girls (way better looking I might add) during this time period to which the feelings for her kind of subside, but they always seem to come back to after things end with the other girl. I should just get another girl and get over her you're right
I remember on our first date my girlfriend said things along the lines of:
"Oh man, it's been so many frogs, and I feel like I finally met a prince"
Which... was kind of borderline and in my head I was like, "Whoa... I'm just going to assume you didn't think that one through and that just slipped out", but this was at the tail end of our date (like 4 or so hours in) after a few drinks when we were having a pretty good time, and it was relevant to our conversations (we met online, and were talking about other shitty online dates earlier), so whatever. The context and tone of it made it passable.
Creepy is that girl who, after 20 minutes of knowing me says she's never been with an Aquarius or an Asian before, asks how big my cock is, and asks if I live alone.
It's all about context and all about pacing.
You're revealing WAAAAAAAYYY too fucking much way too fucking fast in way too fucking blunt/crass a manner.
Borderline too much. Like it was almost red-flag signaling there might be a crazy train because of how unprompted it was.
And there's a difference between blunt and crass (or as 4chan'ers call it, "autistic"--I really hate that term though).
Like other anons are pointing out,
Blunt is: Hey I'm pretty shy, but I like you. Would you like to hang out some time?
Not out of the blue writing a rambling letter to someone telling someone you stare at and masturbate to them.
What kind of terms are your friend and his ex on? Personally I don't talk to my ex's friends anymore. I also didn't get super close to my ex's friends when we were together.
How close were you two before?
How does your friend feel about his ex? Does he want her back? Does he hate her? Is he happy it happened and figures it was a good time to move on?
How do you think he'd react if he found out?
>I'm blunt and straight to the point. I can't help that.
Yes you can help that. It's called "self control". It's called "having a filter"
It's selfish to make people uncomfortable just because it helps you process what's going on in your mind.
Well now I'm too busy being sad, thinking that I should NOT talk to men because I'm afraid of bothering them, coming off as creepy, or speaking my mind. I thought people WANT you to tell the truth. Now I'm just thinking about how to better avoid everyone while still saying at least hi to everyone, because my job depends on being friendly and talkative.
Not opposite gender, but apparently that makes no difference here.
Two guys going to a museum, exhibition or historical site or whatever. Something friends do or gay as fuck?
I'm into art. This guy's into art. I don't have many friends and I want to make some. No idea what the 'proper' way is, though. Usually I do this kind of thing with girls and make it a faux-date, but acting like that to a guy's bound to look weird and flirty, and not my cup of tea at all
> i usually say something about the place i dont like, either that i have bad vibes, or that its too open, lets go somewhere quieter. Then throw her to the bed or wherever nd start kissing. When yall both know yall just want too fuck , words arent needed. No discussion. Nd dont make her feel like a slut, unless yall are fucking at the time .
Because I probably am autistic on some level. My brother is autistic (no joke), and autism runs in my dad's side of the family. I probably have a higher functioning form of autism like Asperger's. I don't fucking know.
Also for your information, I wrote those posts on an anonymous image board. You can be more honest than you'd be in real life here. I wouldn't word for word speak like that in real life. I can be very bad at improvising sentences during realtime conversation.
At the most I'd probably say "I like you" or "I like your ___" or "You're so ____, I like it" and that's that. I say what I mean and mean what I say.
If I wrote a note to anyone it'd be that short and simple too
I respond to what I can, and what I'm comfortable with. I ignore obvious bait, posts with extremist tones and long posts (there's a warning about keeping your post short in the OP). I imagine other girls are the same
There are manly ways to get out of the house. Try hunting, fishing, crossbow archery, and hiking.
A museum's for if you want to stay indoors all perfumed up like some city slicker pretty boy.
How do you feel about a guy bragging a women's lingerie store like Victoria's Secret by himself?
I used to go there a lot by myself as a teenager, actually not because I wanted to look at the hottie lingerie models they had huge pictures of, but because I liked the stylish hot pink lighting and tile floors. Eventually I got driven out because the staff kept giving me weird, creeped out looks.
What are your thoughts?
So i'm trying to get with this girl but she constantly brings up her ex-boyfriend.
When i'm texting her, she'll tell me about how she is sad and it's because of her ex.
What can I do to change her? or should i just drop her?
>meet girl on Ockupid
>we talk for a few hours one night
>two days later I receive a "hello !" and we talk some more
>right before the week end : receive "give me your Facebook contact. It's easier to talk"
>we talk all saturday, then all of sunday
>get her number sunday morning
>I'm about to propose that she comes in town and meet me
>figure it's too early and back down
>she says "oh come on, don't act shy, say it."
>she accepts to meet me next week end when she's in town to see a cousin
Good basis so far, right? Can I consider her interested?
I'd say if you were just walking around, it's a little weird. Because you have to consider the assumptions people make. Just because you know that you have good intentions doesn't mean they know, and they'll probably be weirdest out.
>What should I do to get her back into my life and be my GF again?
Have you tried contacting her, telling her you're worried about her, and that you want to help?
She's going through a ton of emotional/mental bullshit right now. If she thinks she isn't ready to have a relationship with you while dealing with that, she's not gonna get back together with you.
I was with a british girl for two months.
I'm a franco/senegalese guy who was in a relationship before, and had sex.
She is an 18 yr old british girl who never had a guy and is virgin.
Cultural differences : she was very resrved. I was expansive and cuddly. She refused to show any affection (hugs or kisses) in public on the ground that in England you don't do that in public.
We broke up because she was putting too much pressure on herself about sex even though i said I could wait. Her explanation was "I don't know who I am yet"
Also, my dad is a sort-of muslim senegalese, my step mom is a high society christian belgium. They have different views on some things but generally find a middle ground.
The word to keep in mind is "different isn't better or worse. It's just different, and exists for a reason. Figure out what."
J'ai jamais demandé si c'était mieux ou moins bien, merci pour l'témoignage en tous cas, même si je pense qu'en Angleterre on a pas trooop trop de differences culturelles, enfin pas assez pour que ça se remarque beaucoup...
Je pensais plutôt avec des américains, des asiats, des australiens etc etc
>Hit the gym every day, jog, and go on the treadmill or bicycle or swim
>Keep just enough stubble so you look like one of those Hollywood guys without getting a sketchy neckbeard
>Get your chest waxed
>Affect a sensitive and compassionate like facial expression at all times so you look like one of those sensitive guys
>Wear flats, chinos or skinny jeans or pants, and button up designer shirts
>Wear a nice brand of cologne
>Wear skinny pants every day
>Take two Viagras before leaving your house
>get your chest waxed
I disagree. Chest hair is definitely a plus for me. If you really want to remove your chest hair, please wax and don't shave it. The stubble that sprouts after shaving isn't fun to touch
I also disagree about skinny jeans. You just need pants that fit well, most guys wear pants that are either skinny jeans or too baggy. There's a happy medium in there somewhere
Take plenty of time warming her up. The more aroused she is, the less it'll hurt--or the less she'll notice the pain. For some chicks, breaking the hymen is just going to suck no matter what. For other chicks, they lose it horseback riding and have no idea apart from the tiniest speck of blood in their underwear
I'm about to tell an incredibly nice and lovely woman that I don't want to get romantically involved since I'm heavily infatuated with someone else at the moment.
Is a couple of WhatsApp messages appropriate? Should I meet her and tell her in person (and thus most likely getting her hopes up, which makes me feel uncomfortable)?
What do people nowadays do? I've kinda completely missed out over the last 10 years on how people communicate these days - and the very last thing I wanna do is be nasty to her; she's pretty awesome..
It depends on the type of chick she is. Does she like romantic stuff? Does she specifically not like romantic stuff? It also depends on how serious/casual your relationship is right now.
I can't give much advice because I don't like most romantic stuff, but food is always a good present for me
I think messages are fine. For example, if you went on a date and had a good time but don't think they're the one, it's okay to either call them or text them. I think texting would be fine in this situation and not heartless
No date, but it's pretty damn obvious - even to a thick-skulled guy like me. I met her through a friend.
Damn this mess; I would've jumped on her, were it not for someone else I don't have a chance with anyway.
Thanks for the reply.
Rough sex doesn't mean skipping foreplay. Biting is warming up for some chicks. Find out what she likes, what turns her on, and do that before you get to the actual sex part so that she's wet and more relaxed.
I'm by no means an expert on this, but shooting her down unprompted is cruel, and doing so over Whatsapp/text messages doubly so.
You don't have to tell her you're infatuated with someone else. It'll just make her feel bad and even worse if the other girl shoots you down and you "settle for second place".
The next time she makes an obvious interested move, tell her you see her as just a friend. Enjoy your time with her, but set boundaries.
Men, I am feeling afraid tonight. My fiance is coming home and he knows that our shower, that was recently replaced and fixed, is not working properly and he confessed that he wants to break something in front of me tonight. I asked if he wants to hang out with me and a friend tonight as a distraction, and he refused. He said, "I want to complain to you and then I want to break something."
I'm scared that he will hit me instead, or break something that belongs to us, something that cannot easily be replaced. I am from another country and I do not know what to do. What should I do in this situation?
Yea, she's into the sweet stuff. We discussed last friday night about what are we and such. I suggested that we should hang out a bit more, come back later down the road and have the discussion again. She agreed and we also agreed that when people ask us, we'll just tell them we are talking since we have many friends coming up to us asking if we are dating or not.
I don't think she knows what she likes is the jist I've gotten from her . I made her first sexual experience pretty fucked up if you read my post so I'm going to try to be as gentle as possible for this one time.
did he ever hit you before ? if yes, that's pretty fucked up and you should call the police and break up with him, if not then, why he should hit you ? just reassure him, be there for him, a little blowjob to make him feel less stressed and that's it
Appreciate your input.
I'm with you on that (unprompted shooting down) - but I also feel like it's not 'fair' to be chatty with her, meet up on evenings etc., which I feel like can be taken as signs of interest (which is technically true, she's absolutely my type and someone I can totally see myself with).
Then again, simply not interacting at all with her is a douche move aswell, no? Given that I practically 'know' that she's interested, I can't play the idiot who just wasn't aware. I am.
Not him, but this really depends on the person. Even if someone has another cultural background she/he may not be different at all, due to being born in that country.
Just to give me as an example: parents from somewhere close to the middle east. 80%+ might think I'm a muslim, however neither am I or my family religious + I was born in Europe so identify way more with the country I was born in than necessarily my parents' one.
Someone who recently moved to another country from far away is obviously a whole different story. To this there's no advice imo. Cultures differ heavily from one to another.
Personality also plays a role in this, as in how open you can be to other cultures. Find a common middle ground and don't force something on somebody else.
The more communication the better. Her first time having sex is gonna be awkward no matter what, so talking isn't gonna ruin the experience. Try different things with her, but make sure to start gentle at first. Either ask her if she likes it or give her some kind of safeword she can use if she's not liking what you're doing.
>Someone who recently moved to another country from far away is obviously a whole different story.
Yeah i was more speaking about this kind of situation, you know, foreigner students, or workers, people who emigrated etc, not just people who LOOK foreigners.
He never hit me before, or punched me or slapped me, but he has shoved me before, push me on the bed, pinched my leg hard, that kind of thing. I do feel awkward sharing this because it doesn't seem super bad, but he does scare me when he gets into that certain dark mood.
If I break up with him, I have nowhere to go. Literally. I do have family back in my home country who would help me and all of that, but I'm just scared that I can get hurt in the process somehow.
The fact your mind is skipping to domestic abuse is troubling. Breaking stuff is pretty much the worst way to vent anger and it'll just give him more trouble later. If I were in your position I basically wouldn't let them in unless they promised to vent their anger in a more productive manner.
Specific. Always specific. You're not going out for this person, you're going out with this person. That means you have plans and they're being welcomed to join you. Obviously your plans would have detail to them.
Do you know of any positions I should use over others? so far I'm thinking take her to nice dinner, watch movie I have her pick out at her place, initiate body contact, kiss neck/soft spots, eat her out, then I'm not sure what position, things I should try to focus on during etc.
She's the type to freeze up during hugs, avoids eye contact with people etc. Talking with her about sexual things is hard but I will try. Even when I was 14 girls my age were less awkward than her.
you can come at my place if you want *wink* *wink*
But seriously, try to talk with him when he's in a good mood and tell him how you feel about all this, being scared of a partner is NOT cool, that's a problem.
And if your family can help you, just go for it, or find another guy to live with, or share a room
She needs to understand that she has to talk about this stuff, even if it's awkward as fuck, if she wants to have a sexual experience she'll like. If she can't tell you what she likes, it makes it a lot more likely she won't have a good time.
As far as position, I'm not sure. Don't break her hymen doggy style though. I guess missionary's good? Missionary's got the added bonus of where you guys are face to face so she's more likely to feel like you care about her vs fucking a brand new pussy
I've thought about talking to her tomorrow, but I've been thinking about my relationship with her, and I kinda hated it because she lives with her parents, and her step mom is a fucking controlling bitch.
>someone else I don't have a chance with anyway
Mind elaborating on that one? Is she taken already or something?
Because if she is or you don't have a chance with her for any other reason than crippling insecurity, I'd suggest dropping the oneitis act and at least giving the other girl a chance.
Like I said I'll try. The weird thing about her is when she's drunk she can socialize normally, is outgoing even so maybe I'll try to get her drunk to talk before hand. Must be some bad anxiety. It's cute though, part of her charm.
face to face is nice, I know when you spoon and cradle girls for the ass it hurts less, so maybe the same for pussy? I did it once, it was "romantic" I guess. She's like 3 kgs overweight though so it could be gross to hold her like that. No doggy? That's too bad, she has a really cute ass.
>Because if she is or you don't have a chance with her for any other reason than crippling insecurity, I'd suggest dropping the oneitis act and at least giving the other girl a chance.
She left the country just as I got the hots for her, I had some business in her country a while after, and was invited to her place because her 'dad would really like to see you again. Why don't you come visit us?'. She's romantically totally inexperienced from what I can gather, so I find it difficult to gauge whether she has any feelings for yours truly. She might just not be able to show her interest in me.
But I will admit, the oneitis regarding her is way too strong; but I feel like it might be worth hanging on to it - she will be back in my city in 6 months.
My issue with lady B boils down to this: how fair is it to get into a relationship (or dating or whatever you call it) with someone when you'll know for certain that you'll keep having massive feelings for someone else? I definitely wouldn't want to keep that from a girlfriend. Lack of honesty ruined my last relationship.
What's the least painful way of friendzoning a girl?
There's this girl I've been hanging out with - lately she's become more flirty / awkward around me and she's asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with her tomorrow. I might be wrong about this but I think she's developing a crush on me. The thing is I don't really have any feelings for her etc etc. What do I do?
The only thing worse than feeling invisible is feeling that people can see you just fine but find what they see to be unattractive. Acknowledge nothing and make yourself scarce. Let her keep her invisibility.
Got it, so you'd advise me to make up an excuse not to go? Wouldn't that just postpone the awkwardness?
I kinda did something like that once, and the girl got tired by my avoidance and straight up confessed her feelings to me. It was pretty bad.
You should make yourself unavailable for everything private with her--hanging out, conversation, etc. It's time to stop being an individual presence in her life.
If she wants to risk a confession then that's her choice. You can't stop people from setting themselves up for disaster. Learn where your line of responsibility is drawn. You should handle everything up to that line but touch nothing past it.
So she's in a different country, and there's nothing going on between you. Well, wishful thinking from your end. It's harsh, but there's a very good chance that's what it is.
6 months is a long time. A lot can happen in 6 months. A lot of relationships are made and broken in that time. Hell, some people have had more relationships over 6 months than most people here in a lifetime. You say she's romantic inexperienced, but what if she meets someone in those 6 months? You want to save yourself for her, but do you think she would?
Waiting for someone's a wonderful thing in movies and chinese cartoons, but real life doesn't swing that way. Even if it did, waiting for someone tends to come with a promise like
>I'll wait for you!
>let's get married when you come back!
which, sorry to say, there probably isn't.
And what happens after those 6 months? Does she go back and leave you hanging for another 6 months? Is that really worth it? Even if she reciprocates, is an LDR really going to satisfy you?
The way I see it from what you've posted, there's a oneitis who's gone beyond your reach. Then there's a cute girl you are attracted to, is likely attracted to you, and actually is within reach. She's your type and you clearly enjoy your time with her, so why not? Again, 6 months is a long time.
Best case scenario, she becomes your new oneitis and you live happily ever after. She turns out to have been all you ever wanted and more. 6 months in, you'll slap yourself for ever considering to shoot this wonderful woman down.
Alternatively, things don't work out. You realize that pretty soon and break up. 6 months pass, and you'll meet your old crush with renewed hope. But at least you tried to live your life.
depends on what type of relationship you're looking for. casual fucking? start right now. long-term emotional relationship? wait until you don't have to ask an advice board to know you're ready
Fair game, anon. Cheers for taking the time.
I'm well aware of all of it being in my head, but you know, kinda difficult to shake a feeling like that, especially when you're brain's decided that for whatever reason this woman is the greatest person to walk on this planet.
I think I'll meet up with her on the weekend to do something fun. I guess it's not against the law to try.
Did I mention that my massive crush will come to my city in 6 months to stay here for at least 3 years, whereas the cutie will have to leave the country in about 8 (because her visa expires)?
>long-term emotional relationship
How different is the approach between these two? How would you signal that you want one or the other, and how do you make sure both parties are on the same page?
Women what goes through your mind when you try to turn a guy into a cucked beta orbiter. Not trolling here.
Basically my best female friend crossed a line and after i wasnt having it I started crossing out parts of our relationship so that it wouldnt happen again. She doesnt realize what she did but thinks Im mad at her. I just brush this off with saying Im not and she keeps cornering me and trying to kiss on me to make me feel better which annoys me more.
>kissing a beta orbiter
Doesn't sound like much of a beta orbiter to me. Then again, becoming a beta orbiter is something you inflict upon yourself. It's not the girl who does that.
Tried to use me as an emotional sponge after she hooked up with some guy off kik whatever it is you guys use. Like that cuddle intimate moment you have after sex with someone. She tried to get that from me after she got back.
Im nice but not that fucking nice. Ditched her and started putting some walls up to protect against her feelings time.
Guys or girls, I don't give a fuck who answers
I'm upset because my ex found someone else. She took a picture with him. Never did that with me.
I've deleted her number and blocked her on social media but the sting is still there. I feel numb. I had two dates planned with two different girls this week and now I just feel like fucking sleeping the week away.
Saying "Her loss" isn't valid. It's just a trick and she may very well be happier with him. I believe in "fake it till you make it" but that's delusion.
What should I do? Force myself out of this funk or just go through the grief slowly?
>becoming a beta orbiter is something you inflict upon yourself.
This is bullshit. Its literally saying
>becoming a victim is something you inflict upon yourself. It's not the criminal who does that.
yeah sure you might have been able to fight back against the criminal but that doesnt excuse them.
Go to your dates. Force yourself to or you'll end up spending the week wallowing in self-pity. Fill your mind with other things. Movies, video games, physical exercise, whatever. Get drunk with your buddies.
Well, yeah - that obviously stings. You'll have to acknowledge the fact (and I think you partly did) that it's going to sting for a while.
I'd say force yourself out of the funk, but at a reasonable pace that doesn't break your neck.
That's harsh, to someone who's your "best female friend". Is that title true? Is she really your best female friend? Is she a friend at all? Or is this just a cover story for you to get in her pants? Think she'll see the light someday and go
>oh Anon your dick was the true dick for me all these years how could I not have seen the white light
Because if you're truly just friends, you're a lousy friend. Friends don't go PUA on friends.
Get your self-victimizing routine out of here. There's /r9k/ for that. You stuck around, you live with the consequences. You're the criminal here.
I'm not responding to him, I'm responding to this other person directly.
If the crime is making someone a beta orbiter, how does the woman force the beta to stay?
She doesn't. That's the betas choice.
Don't ever give advice on this site again.
I only stayed in contact with her because she bitched about me not wanting to be friends with her after we broke up. Submitting to her like that was dumb, I know but my friend made me feel guilty about it.
I'll take this approach. I'm feeling a bit better already.
>You stuck around, you live with the consequences.
Im so glad you said this. Fits perfectly with >>16702208
Ill be sure to give this advice anytime someone suffers from abusive people in relationships. Its all their fault. That wife being beaten right now. Shes the criminal.
Probably gonna be a pretty beta post, but oh well:
>Be about a year ago.
>Got used by a girl.
>Kinda sucks. Started working on fixing my depression and alcoholism after that.
>Feel ready to try and get a relationship.
Met one girl a few months ago (November, I think), added her on facebook, but haven't spoken since. I think she's into Eastern philosophy (although, I dunno if she actually knows anything about it, or just posts pretentious shit all over facebook). I study philosophy as a hobby, would it be weird to message her and ask if she wants to meet up to talk about philosophy? What do I even say?
Not at all. He's only breaking it up now, but who knows how long he orbited as a 'friend'?
Even now he's doing a lousy job at protecting himself. He's going full robot with a bait-tier post. I bet by the end of tomorrow he'll miss her, forgive her 'cucking' (>implying he was a boyfriend), hit her up like he used to and apologize for his misbehaviour.
It hurts because you feel inadequate to her new partner. Improve yourself so that you can genuinely say its her loss next time.
Yeah at the end of the day I cant let her bring me down. I dont know what goes through a womans mind but you gotta draw the line somewhere.
>It hurts because you feel inadequate to her new partner.
I don't even know about that. I'm bigger and stronger than the guy, I've got hobbies galore, I do great in University, I know plenty of good recipes and how to make people laugh. I usually leave the house because a friend or neighbor needs my help.
I just feel like none of that matters to her since I haven't been able to express it. Maybe you're right.
>abusive husband beats his wife
>emotional girl confides in friend
Let that sink in for a while. You're a friend. Not a wife. Not a boyfriend. If you didn't want to be that 'emotional sponge' you hate so much, you should've made a move and/or move on after being shot down. You're talking apples and oranges here, and not seeing the difference is on you.
You seem to still project.
He didn't even imply that he "made a move" but even if he did and got shot down why is she continuing to lead her on by attempting to get close.
I still fail to see how breaking off the friendship isn't sensible solution to that.
Things happened which he didn't like and he took the appropriate measures.
Me and my gf tried to loose our virginities the other night but my penis literally wouldn't fit
anyone with experience of this advice would be really appreciated she's really upset about it
Yeah, she probably just has a strong/thick hymen that won't be too fun to break. She can get a sex toy like a dildo and try to break it herself on her own terms, or you two can use a lot of lube on her. Sorry to say, but it seems like she's one of those girls where losing her virginity is going to hurt
>Several dates with qt (6 in total).
>Only get to making out, some light groping, she seemed uncomfortable so I stopped.
I need sex and cuddles and affection in a relationship, but she seems uncomfortable with it at best and outright opposed at worst.
Ditch her? Ask her? Keep going with the relationship and say nothing?
She's 20, I'm 24.
Team effort. You gotta back off when she says it's too much, but she also has to realize that it's going to hurt. The first time hurts at least a little for just about every chick. She just has to remember that every time after this will be better
Talk to her about this if it's important to you. If she's not willing to have sex, and you're not willing to wait (meaning she's also not awesome enough to wait despite your need for physical stuff), then you guys aren't compatible and you should find another chick
If you like a guy, and he really likes you. Is his performance the first time you have sex extremely important to you? Meaning like, if he was really nervous because he hasn't had sex in 4 years, or cums super fast or is just overall very sensitive to it all. Would this be a negative thing to you? I'm practically head over heels fallen for this girl, and I think we are going to have sex in the near future. But I'm just really nervous because I don't want to dissappoint her
LOL no. Sex with a new guy doesn't get good until both of you learn what each other likes and become fine-tuned machines for pleasing each other. I can't speak for all chicks, but I personally have a pretty big fetish for innocent/nervous guys
That's a relief. So you're saying that even if I cum after like 5 seconds, or just act nervous overall I'll be fine?
I like this girl so much that not even joking, I get boners every single time she texts me. Literally every single time. Everytime I change my underwear out at night when I shower I can see pre-cum stains. It started a few weeks after I started talking to her. It's a little embarrassing. But I really really like this girl. And I absolutely do not want to be a disappointment in bed.
Well she never wants to relax at my place. She says her roommate is terrible and she's trying to move out so no go at her place. She never invites me out, so I always end up taking her out and it's costing me a fortune.
So yeah. I'm pretty tired of it. I'm not looking for sex as payment. I just want to be able to relax and not feel like I have to impress her or some stupid shit.
You seem to not understand what projection means.
He calls her a friend. His best female friend, even. Yet when she treats him like a friend he backpedals, puts up walls, starts shitting up /r9k/ - oh I'm sorry I mean /adv/ - with bitter bait. Would a 'friend' do that?
I'm not implying that he made a move either, but judging by what he's told us so far he probably wanted to. And that's not projection. That's conjecture.
Breaking off the friendship over something like this is harsh if it was just a one-off thing. All he had to do was tell her that he didn't like talking about her hookups and change the subject to something a little less spongey.
It makes sense to cut her off if this keeps happening or there's more going on, but over one hookup-talk? Sounds more like he finally got the hint and cut his losses, but pretends there was nothing all along.
Don't worry, you're not a bad friend. In fact, you don't sound like much of a friend at all.
I would die from cuteness if a guy told me he got a boner every time I texted him. And by cuteness I mean the type that makes me both say "aww" and immediately jump on his dick
If she's a cool chick, she won't care about you cumming quickly. If anything she should take it as a compliment that you're really fucking into her
well, she doesn't know about the boners. I haven't told her. Sometimes when she really texts me a lot during the day, my nuts will ache so bad just because I'll have a hard on almost the entire fucking day. I'm 25 years old, but I feel as if I'm a teen who just started puberty in a sense.
Thank you for the reassurance though
Just talk to her. Talking and open communication is always a good thing, and it's great to start early in the relationship vs later. Basically find a nice way to ask her what her deal is with physical affection and why she's nervous to take things further, or if she's even interested in taking things further
After the sex (not like right after) I'd almost say you should tell her you were so nervous and you really wanted to make sure she had a good time. I can't speak for all chicks but that I eat that kind of nervous shit up and I love it
Thank you, I'll do that. I'm just worried because I think she's going to just destroy me the first time we have sex. But I don't want to just get worn out in a few minutes. I want to wear HER out. it's just been so long since I've had sex my confidence is shit
Where do you find people who consider attempting to kiss and after sex cuddling to be totally ordinary part of a friendship?
Cause I want to move where friend females are like that, here they are so cold in comparison doing things like talking and having fun.
At least here that isn't really considered part of a friendship.
Letting her destroy you is just fine, especially during the first time. If it goes well, you'll get your chance to destroy her and wear her out later on. Both are equally good in different ways, I still get all warm and fuzzy that my guy can't handle doggy style for very long before he explodes
A woman taller than me is a no go. Im 6' so it doesnt happen often.
furthermore a woman 5'0 is cute. Like something you want to protect. Pulls on our heart strings. My ex was 5'10ish though. We were the same height when she was in heels. Nothing wrong. Just dont be taller than me.
Tall girls are tall. Theres a lot of psychology that is involved in how people see the height of those around them. When I see a woman taller than me I think of amazons. She could be perfect but Id never look at her that way. Probably wouldnt even realize she was perfect.
If I had to pick my ideal height itd probably be 5'6. Which is about right. The average height difference between couples is 5 or 6 inches
My babysitter told me it was what women who cared for children should do to help them sleep by pulling their penises. It felt very medical but I have experiences getting erections and making giz from an early age in the same room as a woman, so will that be good for when I get a real girlfriend?
Fellow Guys and girls
This is the first time I've ever had feelings for a girl. And this girl obviously has feelings for me, she's always sending me pictures of her smiling and drawing me cute notes and saying how happy I make her. It's just, I feel so weird knowing that there is another person who is thinking of me like this. I have generally low self esteem. So it just seems so strange to me why a girl would have feelings for me. I just don't know how to shake these feelings
She's not weird. I'm not complaining about her. She's been a very positive think in my life over the past few months. It's nothing she has done wrong. What I'm saying is it's ME. Like I just feel strange that another person has attraction toward ME.
I know the feeling. Im into this guy thats two states away. Everytime we talk its really great. But he doesn't know how to react to actual mutual feelings. Since he's used to just having one night stands.
Not odd more like surprised. Most of past relationships start with a meet and fuck and usually last like, a couple of months. I guess since I actually like him for who he is, not by what he looks like . He's thrown off.
I used to live in a neighbourhood where things like that were a very common thing to do among grown up women. Wasn't a guy who grew up there who didn't remember getting touched by his mummy or granny or auntie on the pee pee. I thought it was really weird that they were doing this so I reported it to the police but was told it was normal in that city and country, so I should not worry.
Maybe. That's a good way of looking at it. People are mostly surprised because 1) they thought you were molesting some kid, 2) people are stereotypically traumatized by something like that.
If you've turned it into something positive, good! I'm glad you can use it to your advantage.
How to ask a guy for casual sex without him being weirded out and telling everyone that I'm a slut?
You'd think it'd be easier to find a fwb, but I want him to be friend not a stranger. Plus he couldn't get attached. I've had to fend off guy friends who caught romantic feels for me without even adding in physical relations.
I just want no strings attached booty call....