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Why are you still a virgin? No seriously,...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Why are you still a virgin? No seriously, why the hell are you still a virgin?

I don't care how socially awkward you are, or how introverted you are, go make an account on OKCupid right now. If you're a decent person and can talk to people through text, you'll honestly have no issues finding someone nice to sleep with. I cannot begin to describe how absurdly easy it is to flirt with and develop meaningful, thoughtful friends with benefits relationships with cute people.

What's your excuse? Tell me why you're having issues and I'll tell you how to smarten the fuck up.
>>
For 7 years (now i'm 24) me and my mother suffered through my father's wacko bipolar disease.

But for all those years I've refrained to try to have relationships with any girl (besides friendship ofc) because I had to support my mother and confront my father. Every time he was admitted to the psych ward it tore my heart.

I did that to keep my family from falling apart and probably me living on the street or probably dead because my father had a gun, but it was in the local armory and I asked the Public Ministry (Portugal) to destroy it. They've accepted my request and I felt really happy when it did.

It's now managed under a new doctor he is seeing :D.

Now finally I have a degree, living in the capital for two months and I don't have friends here but my roommates.

Working in IT but don't have a girlfriend atm (not kissless btw but a bit shy), but back in my hometown I have the most wonderful friends and I mean it from my heart.

So, thoughts?
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>>16697442

OP here, I've been taking lithium (also just got off olanzapine) for 7+ years. I know what you mean, and can understand why you wouldn't want to touch this area in the circumstances you've been in.

But if you've got a bit of freedom now, do literally what I said in the OP. OKCupid isn't just for dating - I've made legit friends in addition to FWB and dating things.
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Tried it. Barely got any replies and nobody seemed interested.
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>>16697495

You're doing something wrong. Either you're sending shitty opening messages, or your profile was poorly written.
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>>16697503
Not that poster, but how in the world is that helpful? If you gave examples of what's a good opening line or are willing to help him improve his profile, your thread is nothing but shitposting.
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>>16697503
>>16697505
>If you gave examples of what's a good opening line or are willing to help him improve his profile
Forgot to finish the sentence
If you gave examples of what's a good opening line or are willing to help him improve his profile that would constitute actual advice, but as it stands, your thread is nothing but shitposting
>>
>>16697505
>>16697509

I have no idea what his profile looks like or what his opening messages are like. Maybe he's doing everything right but is actually just insufferable. I'm not just going to start ranting about what to do when it varies wildly depending on the person.

I was expecting him to you know, reply with some more information. jesus chill out.
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>>16697375
>If you're a decent person
I'm not. I'm a pathetic NEET. No one found me attractive when my life was going relatively well, so there's no reason to suppose they would now.

Also I'm not dumb enough to think sticking my dick in someone will solve anything.
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>>16697375
>What's your excuse?

because condoms don't protect you 100% from STDs or Pregnancy. Also you risk false rape charges and women have the power to accuse anyone of rape without the responsibility she will no be jail for it. lastly i don't want her pointing the finger at me if she gets pregnant from the casual sex she is having with other guys. she will not know who the father is and i don't want the trouble of needing a dna test being held responsible if she can find the father.
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I was a virgin until my 19 because i was waiting to lose it with a girl i really love
When I was 14, i almost fuck another retarded teen chick, it was the second time i got drunk. It wasn't really satisfying me as my first sexual experience (remembering his face is kind of painful), so i came to the point that my next partner, for my real first time, had to be someone i choosed to be with
Some people are desperate about the fact they're virgin they'll go on date website, others are christians fags, others are just waiting for the right time
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>>16697519

Social status doesn't really have much to do with it, despite what society/4chan tells you. Your self-esteem is disastrous, but you seem nice enough to hold a conversation online.

Solve anything? Who said anything about solving anything, sex is just too nice to deprive yourself of unnecessarily.

>>16697522

Sorry friend. It must suck having such terrible trust issues with women for those to be your excuses. In the real world, if you have proper communication skills, the only valid concern out of your entire post would be if *maybe* a condom breaks with someone who isn't on birth control. The odds of any of your insecurities happening are tiny if you're surrounding yourself with the right people.

Casual sex isn't at all like how you paint it. You've been reading too many Chad stories on 4chan.

>>16697531

If you've got personal reasons like this, then sure, you do you. My post is about people who really want sex but can't get it.
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>>16697375
oh.. we are playing this game now..

oh nooezz im cornered.. i cant possibly find any excuse for this oh nooooess... he knows better than anyone... im such a noob always searching for excuses...

there is no way anyone can be a virgin by that age beside having some lame excuse..

ye whatever... go sleep or something
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Because I don't put any effort whatsoever in getting girls. I have never ever initiated a conversation with a female, let alone flirt with one.
No one around me knows I'm a kissless virgin because I live a fairly normal life: go to uni, go out every other weekend with a few bros, play in a band (once a month gigs), go to the gym etc... And I am not deppressed or anything like that, I am quite happy and content with my life at the moment, maybe that's why I'm so passive

If you don't know how to interact with women then you are fucked like me. If I even somehow end up in a conversation with a girl it usually goes like: "hey im anon yes I go to this uni you? oh cool" and that's it, don't know how to continue a convo. I struggle just to have a normal standard small talk, can't comprehend how to interact sexually with girls really that's my main reason why I'm a 21 year old kissless virgin
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>If you're a decent person and can talk to people through text
This speaks to the question that gets asked every day on here about how much women care about a man's virginity. The answer is that being a virgin isn't as relevant as WHY he's a virgin. The qualities which precluded sex in the first place will continue to do so as long as they're around. These guys are indecent (not just morally but socially) and awful at communication, usually because they're totally unable to relate to most other people. They're virgins because they don't know how to fit in.
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>>16697549
Even if social status isn't relevant - which I doubt - I don't really have anything else going for me either. I'm unattractive and antisocial.

Casual sex really doesn't seem very appealing. I'd want a relationship, but I'm not capable of maintaining one. I can't even maintain friendships.
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>>16697564

I honestly suffered from extreme social anxiety for the first 18 years of my life and socializing solely online because it was the only thing comfortable to me. Got into multiple LDRs, dated someone who lived in England for 2 years, flew out to see them and lived with them for 2 months during a summer. I had no experience actually meeting anyone IRL, but like I said, dating websites are an absolute godsend.

Small talk is a learnable skill, not a part of your identity. Also like, you totally don't need to be able to approach people in person to get dates. Online dating bridges the gap, lets you get comfortable with a person before actually needing to make small talk.

You'll be okay, anon.

>>16697566

That's fair. I'm making the generous assumption that there are decent people on /adv/ who are just awkward and shy, but are perfectly friendly and sociable through text, like I was.

>>16697581

Seems like you have bigger fish to fry than sex, then. But introversion is a manageable thing - see above.
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>>16697597
Shyness and awkwardness aren't just personality quirks, though. They're signs of screwed up social development. That doesn't make people bad or unwilling to be friendly, but from a social measure they don't make the cut for decency (as in "this is a decent cup of coffee").
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I'm not, stop yelling at me.
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OKCupid isn't that well established over here.
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I'm 23, f. I haven't lost mine because I'm fat, have a poor body image and am self conscious about my female parts. Also, the idea of casual sex turns me off.
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>>16697619
fat is fine

being self conscious the the most annoying shit in the universe

I literally rather be shot at again then deal with a self conscious woman
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>>16697626

Everyone is self conscious. It just depends to what extreme.
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>>16697626
IS THE

FUCK
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>>16697608

Your definition of decency is super flawed and unrealistic, my friend.

>>16697616

:(

>>16697619

>fat
Eh, society sucks. I can understand why that would be a barrier but that's honestly total bullshit. Body positivity is where it's at despite what 4chan constantly spews.
>poor body image, self-consciousness
Yeah, that's an understandable thing. I'm sorry about that. Hopefully you find someone to make you feel safe and comfortable enough to lessen those things, but until then, keep working on your self-image.

>>16697626

lmao fuck off there bud, learn some compassion.

>>16697638

Why are you even tripping?
>>
I want to be with a girl that i can laugh with

>girls arent fucking funny people
In my expirience
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>>16697636
I'll use the more accurate term of "negative body image"

Girls that aren't comfortable in their own skin are annoying
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>>16697645
Compassion is for faggots and sailors
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>>16697652

Keep looking, m8. They're just as capable as anyone else to be humorous.

>>16697653

That's your personal opinion, but spouting it towards others ain't gonna help anything, ya prick.
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My standards are too high and I prefer 2D anyway.
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>>16697662
It'll help them by not being annoying
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>>16697659

Again, why are you tripping?
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>>16697597
>introversion is a manageable thing
I'm too socially awkward for most of the internet. Couldn't even handle Facebook.
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>>16697668

You have literally no idea how to interact with people, do you?
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>>16697645
It sounds like you're doing the exact same thing you did when you were at the height of your shyness and awkwardness. You're cupping your hands over your ears (eyes in this case) and pretending not to recognize the people around you. Either everyone else has their heads up their asses or maybe, just maybe, you don't get to call yourself decent if you can't competently participate in society. It's not a given. Being part of the species is an entitlement of birth but being brought into the fold isn't. A social retard aspiring for social participation is unfit for purpose, and sometimes when the majority define things like that they do a reasonable job.
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>>16697653

Why do you always shit post on here? If you're so comfortable in your own skin, why are you posting behind a trip code on 4chan? At least I admit that I have problems with being comfortable in my own skin. All I see you do is talk shit to everyone on here.

Go away.
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>>16697681

I'm not saying social awkwardness and introversion aren't bad things, or that they shouldn't be coaxed away from. I'm just saying that, in my opinion, they are not grounds to say 'wow, this person isn't decent'.

My definition (and that of the majority of people I meet and potentially sleep with) of decency operates on an entirely separate axis on yours, and you're deluded if you think yours is somehow correct.
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I don't know, really.

I'm 19, i have a lot of cool friends, i'm attractive enough i think, i'm fun and good at conversations once i'm comfortable with a person. Maybe i'm just too bitter.
I've had a girlfriend before, it lasted 2 years, we didn't have sex though because i didn't have the guts to bring it up to her. Still had some cool foreplay with her.

Maybe i'm just too self-conscious
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>>16697679
I have mastered the written and spoken tongue

>>16697682
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXQkXXBqj_U

Go work out you morbidly obese jizzwagon
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>>16697703

jesus christ what.

how do you date someone for two years without sex?

were you 15 or something?

You definitely need to work on the 'didn't have the guts to bring it up with her' part. I cannot stress this enough, communication is one of, if not THE most important skill someone can have and if you cannot bring up sensitive things in a relationship, you're seriously in danger in any relationship you get into. Work on that before worrying about sex.

>>16697705

Here's your (You). You're a prime example of why 4chan is equally, but distinctly as bad as the shithole that is tumblr.
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>>16697705

Quote: "fat is fine".

Yeah, right. You complain about women being self conscious, but you're the reason why a lot of women are. I guess that you'll learn one way or another -- God is like that.
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>>16697715
Do you have any rational expressions inside your brain or is your mind simply a modicum of continual, repetitive, and unoriginal personal attacks?

Quite simply, you're simple and unrefined. I wouldn't even take pleasure in ending your existence because you barely qualify as sentient.
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>>16697697
And which axis is that, moral decency? Are you really telling me that this is a virgin help thread which is advocating as a tagline "you're decent if you're a nice guy"?! Holy shit.

Social aptitude is precisely the relevant measurement here. It's the foremost quality which gets someone laid. You can be dumb as bricks, kind of a dick and even in horrible shape, but you'll be off to a great start if you can just get along with people in common social environments.

You really, really don't understand "the majority of people you meet." They might well love your company but it seems you have no clue why. Yeah, you're the one who's going to help the virgins on here.
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>>16697375
>Why are you still a virgin? No seriously, why the hell are you still a virgin?
Sex does not define who you are. And I want to lose it to someone that cares about me as much as I care about her. That isn't asking much, no matter how salty your views on how bad virginity is.
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>>16697668
>Tripfag complains about other people being annoying
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>>16697715
>Were you 15 or something?
Exactly.
Actually i dated her from the age of 15 to 17, and she was 2 years younger than me. So that's hard to bring that up. when she's barely legal. Also i just thought i still had time cause we were deeply in love and stuff. Turned out not so well and we broke up, without having sex. So yeah i'm not with her anymore so it might be too late to work on that haha
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>>16697734
I didn't make you fat, fatty McFatterson the Fattest Fanny
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>>16697564
Are you me?
>>
I'm a 22 year old virgin. I joined tinder so I can get some ASAP because frankly I don't want this stigma anymore. No matches yet.
I didn't go for it because I was looking for that perfect someone to lose it to. But now it seems like a stupid idea at the time. I've had opportunities but never went for it because I didn't find the girls attractive.
>>
Not virgin because im not a faggot and i have most of my mental problem solves

>22
>jobless
>literaly broke
>still paying for some meds
>poor as fuck home
>living with mom
>my own bedroom is broken as fuck
>i have no entertaining in my bedroom and neither own a living room

I cannot get laid until i get a job.
>>
well all in all... nothing changed. OP brags about how its super easy, other tell stuff...

fpffff, nice, and? guess just an average day here. even my comment is nothing.

what im getting at is all you say OP is meaningless,. for one ppl probably know these stuff themselves, nothing new, its not like you redeem anyone with some all mighty smart talk.

AND also there is this guy "Because I don't put any effort whatsoever in getting girls." well yea.. i would bet at least half of the ppl like this, are just that.. they dont care that much,, yee they probably daydream about "oh wow that girl is so hot" but thats it, not any actual effort.

And no, you cant just solve problems by telling stuff like well all you said summed up is "man up". It wont work like that. But i guess you can give random advice to random ppl, so ye, there is stuff to read at least.
>>
22 yo virgin. Every girl ive ever been interested in ive made clear i was interested in them they bullshitted and lied to me for months until they tell me they just want to be friends.
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>>16697789
Every gay guy ive ever been interested in has hit me up right away and came over and sucked my dick. This has happened once though.
>>
it's really strange how people convince themselves that they *must* have sex. i'm a 25yo virgin and i stopped caring a few years ago. i'm sure that at some level you feel the need to have sex, but people are so obsessed with it. just get over it by seeing it for what it is
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Because whenever I see attractive girls my thoughts immediately turn to self hatred.
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>>16697375
Well having sex once doesn't seem worth the anxiety of trying to find a girl.

Also online dating seems like an anxiety inducing meat market. It also seems like it involves a great deal of effort actually sitting there fishing for responses. If anything that would damage my self esteem.

I just want to say hi and small talk to random girls I meet. I currently don't... mostly because every time I try I feel like throwing up in my mouth, even if it is someone I am an acquaintance of it can be hard. I also really like to be alone and I am most happy at home.
>>
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OP is a faggot spouting normie advice.

Afvice for anons, if you want to lose virginity, get a hooker.

>>16697597
thats pathethic losing so much time for some bitch. And you advocate changing your self for the purpose of getting pussy. Totaly beta.

>>16697619
So what. Although "body positive" is bullshit, at least in its tumblr form, but you shouldnt give a fuck, you could get sex with no problem, but you want chad, and he have better choiches (except if it his fetish). I hit 2 fat chicks and i would probably fuck you too if given oportunity.
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>>16697786
>AND also there is this guy "Because I don't put any effort whatsoever in getting girls." well yea.. i would bet at least half of the ppl like this, are just that.. they dont care that much,, yee they probably daydream about "oh wow that girl is so hot" but thats it, not any actual effort.

You dont need any effort if she like you. i got fatty like this, started ackvardly talking because we standed near, she asked for number and texted first. Dont happen offten and if they do they are fat, but still better then being beta and begging for pussy. Its chadway or highway for me.
>>
>>16697375
Because I value myself and would never stoop to such degeneracy.
Ive come close though. Had to pull myself together. GF wanted to sleep naked once and then started trying to seduce me.
>>
I have no friends. Hopefully when I get a job I'll make friends.
I don't think many people would want to go out with someone that has no friends.

Your move, faggot
>>
Social interaction is painful and I've never been able to endure it to the point of losing my virginity.
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>>16697375
It sounds entirely too much like work. And why give myself more work when I could be enjoying myself instead?
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Because writing an online dating profile is cringe central. can't get past even the first part of writing a profile without feeling like a retard.

I don't like talking about myself, I don't like answering weird questions, I don't like taking pictures of myself.

So yeah...
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>>16697375
It took me 3 years before I met anyone through okcupid. 3 years of messaging and getting one reply in 119 (I did work it out). Each message was individualised as well. Most of the time the girls stop replying shortly after the first reply, they're usually curt or lazy in their responses, and if they're not then they usually flake when it comes to meeting.

If they do agree to meet, they almost invariably send me the "It was nice to meet you but I just feel we didn't click, sorry" text. This has just happened to me, actually.
>>
What if I'm a virgin by choice? I'm 21 and I've had several BFs, I never felt like any of them was the right one. I'm not into the "no sex before mariage" but I'd like my first time to be with someone I'd consider marrying. I'm probably giving too much value to this and I'm not even religious, so is this stupid?
>>
>>16698173
Not stupid, there are lots of guys and girls like this that are in their 20s with the mentality
>>
To be honest I know a chick that's a solid 8, 9 on a good day, who I could probably hit up right now. I say this because she explicitly said that a few hours ago, she's 2 blocks down the street, and we're both single.

But I'm not there right now because I won't fuck anyone I wouldn't do anything else with. She's an interesting person; it's not like she's just a sex toy. We just don't go well together. Conversation when we're alone is clunky and awkward as fuck because the subject is basically limited to generic small talk since we don't have any shared interests.

I'd rather be with someone I have long-term interests in, who I won't regret waking up next to a year from now if we get attached to each other as a result.
>>
I'm a girl and it's supposed to be easy for us to get sex but I'm literally an autist and too socially inept to tell when someone likes me or wants to have sex with me and can't bring myself to make the first move. I'm not ugly either, probably average at worst. Only 18 so bars are out of the question. I generally prefer women so that really narrows down my pool of options but there's this one older guy I'm friends with who I really really really want to fuck (to the point where I've had multiple vivid sex dreams about him). I'll see him again in several weeks and I'm praying he won't have a girlfriend by then and is looking for the same thing I am.
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>>16698180
Thanks, I was actually expecting to get trolled. But honestly I don't understand why being a virgin, regardless of the reason, is a stigma nowadays. It makes me sad to know it has turned into a social status of some sort.
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>>16697375
>had okcupid, tinder, and POF for about a year and a half now
>strike up conversation with lots of girls ranging from 3s to 9s
>some respond
>some dont
>I write a small paragraph to open up conversation
>two word answers 90% of the time
>only one actually conversed back
>met up with her
>was 3/10 with the personality of an autistic high school scene girl
>still a virgin

Fuck online dating
>>
Because I'm waiting until I'm as sure as I can be that I'll be with my partner for the rest of my life. I'm also waiting to be in a place where I'm financially, emotionally, and mentally ready to handle birth control and any potential pregnancy responsibly.
>>
I don't care about losing my virginity because I don't give a fuck about status symbols.

I'm wealthy enough to live how I'd like, I'm healthy, the last time I brought a woman into my life I lost a lot of energy. I don't even jerk off much, maybe once every two or three months. The longest I've gone was sixteen months.
That's not to say I have low testosterone, like I said I'm healthy.
>>
Looks like OP left and no one wants to help out the recent people that replied. Laaaaaame
>>
Mistakes.
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i just cant care anymore
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I can't form a relationship with anyone. Which is why I can't have sex. I live with family to avoid having to live alone, so that's probably curbing that need to be with someone. But I've never been with anyone. The idea is nice for a little bit, but then I beat off and I'm okay until the next time.

I honestly am unsure if I really want it. I'm selfish and really don't want to waste my time in someone other than myself, even if it meant having sex.
>>
Partly getting too drunk and/or high, partly having subconscious issues with physical contact. Also, especially in my teenage years, I knew jackshit about how to talk to women, even though my high school was 90% girls. I'd write poems and love letters to girls I started talking to a month earlier, say drunken "I love you" to girls I had just met (ok I drank 3 glasses of pure absinthe that night though). Lastly because my heart was broken many times. Examples: my prom date made out with another guy and I had to carry home her drunken friend, buying this girl a theatre ticket (to come see me) so that she ends up falling in love with a friend of mine who was at the theatre as well, another girl who was walking with me besides the zebra crossings and suddenly says she is suicidal.

I have no problems talking to people now but I just cannot start physical contact. I don't know why but I remember in my early childhood not wanting to kiss my grandma or any person that came to greet me.

Good news is I travelled a lot recently (hitch-hiked about 20000 km in Europe in a year) so now I am asked to go out on dates. Even girls I never knew existed. Some are just looking for attention but it's easy to spot them: they ask you to travel with them, you say when, they never reply, even if they know you personally.

Lastly, I am soon on my first-ever second date. She is the good kind of crazy, is a very curious, open girl, admires me for who I am, loves the nation I'm from and is very beautiful as well. I wrote her a sort of poem to ask her out and it worked, for once in my life. I think I'm on the good way to losing my virginity...

PS: no hookers. When I was 15 (now I'm almost 23), and had a sprained ankle, my brother picked me up from high-school with two of the hottest girls in my class. In front of them he just clearly told me I'd never get laid unless I fuck a prostitute. I am still willing to prove him wrong.
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I'm a fat jobless loser with mommy issues
>>
Im severely autistic

I've gotten around 100 Tinder Matches and 0 numbers or dates. Irl I always flake on girls because my standards are too high
>>
>>16697375
>Why are you still a virgin?

>fat
>lazy
>no driver's license
>still with with parents
>23, never even had a friend that was a girl
Gee OP, you tell me. I should be practically raking in the pussy right.
>>
Why would I want to?
Women like me, but every time I've tried to get laid I spend months talking to a girl and never getting anywhere.
I am only attacked to women who aren't whores and would make great wives, but I don't have the patience for them. Quite frankly women bore the shit out of me.
>>
I have chosen a life of celibacy out of spite.
>>
I'm disgusted with all humanity I hate the zoo called earth I can't make any friends or relationships
Everything is disappointing
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