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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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>meet girl
>start dating her
>find out she has engaged in casual sex
>prevent myself from building any emotions
>break up with her after a few months of dating
This is my usual routine for dating. I dont enter long term monogamous relationships with girls who believe is having casual sex. Like Id date them and if I were into casual sex Id bang them, but Id never marry them so I usually just end it before too long.
Normally this isnt a problem since I dont really show my feelings so the girl doesnt take it too too hard. But the last girl kinda did. We have known each other back in college and apparently she's 'loved me' since then and dreamed of us being married and kept begging me what she could do to make things better. Eventually I broke down and just told her that I couldnt marry her or just anyone whos part of the casual sex movement and she starting feeding me some story about how she was in a bad place and didnt think wed ever get together and some other excuses.
Shes said shes changed but I dont trust a word anyone says when theyre in a corner.
How bad of an idea would it be to date her for a little while longer until Im ready to start looking for marriage. Like Im not going to marry her, but she thinks if she has more time she can show me why we were meant to be and Im not looking to get married yet.
>>
what in the fuck is wrong with you?

What's wrong with casual sex? Do you know how many possible amazing women you have missed your chance with because of that stupid rule?
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>>16696851
>I hate girls who have casual sex
>Sometimes when I'm having casual sex with girls, I find out that they had casual sex
>I'm disgusted
Holy shit, you're retarded.
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>>16697344
Quit excusing your slutty ways. Slut.
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>>16697350
I dont have casual sex with these women. Can you not read?
>>16697344
If you feel something like sex is casual I could never enter a serious relationship with you under the presumption of monogamy.
They could be amazing but just not for me.
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>>16697377

Fucking square.
>>
I am glad that you will most likely never reproduce!
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>>16697384
That's the thing though OP. Sex is just sex. There's time for casual sex, and there's time for meaningful/romantic sex. Just because someone enjoys casual sex while they're not in a committed relationship doesn't mean that they're tainted or have flawed views on sex. It also doesn't mean that they will cheat on you if you're worried about that. It doesn't make them a bad person in the slightest.
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>>16697390
Unlikely that I wont. Have had a few close calls.
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>>16697384
>When I find out that these women had casual sex, I continue to have sex with them for a few months before dumping them at a pre-determined time
Sounds like casual sex to me, dipshit.
Lionize yourself all you like. You're no holier than the girls you fuck.
>>
>>16697392
>There's time for casual sex, and there's time for meaningful/romantic sex
Not for me.
Anyone who thinks
>Sex is just sex
I could never have a serious meaningful romantic relationship with. furthermore
>It also doesn't mean that they will cheat
If you think sex is just sex theres not really any problem with having sex with other people during a relationship.
>It doesn't make them a bad person in the slightest.
Bad fit for me. They are what Im looking for if I were trying to have a serious relationship.
>>
>>16697396
>Sounds like casual sex to me
So you dont know the meaning of words. No big deal.
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>>16697392
>sex isnt important
Why would someone who sees sex that way want to be with someone who doesnt?
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>>16697414
Just because I think sex is just sex doesn't mean that I don't believe in loyalty or have standards too. But I'm just saying the idea of casual sex while not being committed to anyone should be fine. Almost everyone engages in it or at least desires it.
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>>16697416
>Casual sex
>Having sexual contact with another person with no plans on furthering a long term/committed relationship with that person.
>NO TRUE CASUAL SEX
Enjoy your single digit IQ
>>
>>16697426
>I don't believe in loyalty or have standards too
Its just an empty show of loyalty though since sex is just sex. Theres no reason to expect you partner to not have sex with others in a relationship if its just sex. Like picking an arbitrary rule for the relationship.
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>>16697429
try googling casual sex
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>>16696851
I'm the same way, brother.

Stay strong.
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>>16697435
>I'm going to nitpick words and find a definition that suits me!
Fucking moron.
I don't know how you type with your retarded polyp brain.

You have sex with girls with an intentional lack of emotional commitment and an intention to end it without going anywhere serious.
That's the spirit of casual sex even if it doesn't meet particular definitions you cherry pick.
You're not meaningfully different from the girls you malign.

While you sit there with your teeth and asshole clenched, I'm going to fucking hot girls.
Suck it.
>>
I've engaged in casual sex and it made me realize how important sex is. I didn't really want to do it anymore if it wasn't with someone I care about.

But God damn, a girl's got needs! If this guy ends up dumping me for whatever reason, I'll go find a fwb. Cause I can care and not fall in love. And it's better than one nighters. Fuck that.
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>>16697443
I dont care if you have sex with hot girls. Im not going to be looking at you for a potential spouse.
>That's the spirit of casual sex
>the spirit of casual sex is entering into a monogamous relationship with someone for months
Yeah have fun with your mental gymnastics.
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>>16697447
>sex is important
>I'll go find a fwb
kek
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>>16697451
>If you have casual sex with only one person, it's not casual sex
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>>16697467
>if you have casual sex with you spouse, its still casual sex
Keep the mental gymnastics coming
>>
So no ones going to weigh in on the question in the OP.
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>>16697476
You're a committed long term relationship with your spouse.
That's a key difference.
Seems like you're incapable of holding two ideas in your mind simultaneously.

You have sex with girls in a relationship that's not going anywhere and you intent to end with no emotional commitment.
Calling it a relationship doesn't change the fact that it's actually just casual sex.

Now there's nothing wrong with that.
Just take that stick out of your ass so you can enjoy life like the rest of us.
But of course, you're too fucking stupid to do that.
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>>16697502
People are insecure about their sexualities and screaming about it as usual. OP should dump her just because leading people on isn't nice, regardless of their sexual past. Plus OP is sure to find a girl for him sometime. Not every girl engages in rampant casual sex regardless of what memers will have you believe.
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>>16697530
>being in a relationship means youre not in a relationship
More mental gymnastics there.
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>>16697540
Is it leading if they know?
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>>16697451
you're not just having casual sex. you're actually doing something worse, just using girls as a quick fuck when they think you're in a meaningful relationship with them. you're literally putting an expiration date on them and keeping an eye out for something better and just using them for sex until then

> Id date them and if I were into casual sex Id bang them, but Id never marry them so I usually just end it before too long
you're manipulating girls obtain easy sex. hell, having your definition of "casual sex" would be much better than pulling the shit you pull

and also, sex without emotional attachment is considered casual sex by many. you're not better than these girls in any way. hell, at least they're trying to be in an actual relationship instead of just faking it to get easy sex. you're pathetic
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>>16696851
when you say casual sex do you mean one nighters/sex outside of relationships or casual sex with a partner?
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>>16697567
*pulling the shit you do
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>>16696851
you did the right thing fuck that slut for wanting her cake and eat it too. if women want us to stick to our traditional roles of marriage they need to stick to their traditional role of remaining a virgin before marriage. also it would be stupid to pay for her expensive wedding just to get sex while she gave it for free to all the men she was having sex with.
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>>16697547
>If I call it a relationship it is
>If I call my dog a cat, it is a cat
Holy shit, you're dumb.
You want me to call you Caitlyn next?
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>>16697567
This is so cute and a waste of time. I for one appreciate the mental gymnastics.
>>16697569
sex outside of a monogamous relationship.
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>>16697583
>its not a relationship because I say so
You can do whatever you want. Im not stopping the mental gymnastics. Just laughing.
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>>16697585
the only "mental gymnastics" is you thinking that intentionally using people like that isn't a shitty thing to do, especially if you're also claiming all this shit about casual sex. pretending to be in a relationship to "get away" with it doesn't make you better. it just makes you manipulative
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>>16697589
>I have no comebacks so I'm just going to tell you I'm laughing, even though I'm not
Okay.
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>marry a qt virgin going to med school
Feels good, man.
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>>16697601
he's just going to keep saying "mental gymnastics" to try and sound smart, then lead a girl on for a bit while banging her so in his head it doesn't couldn't as casual sex. what a winner
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>>16697599
Get away with what? being in a relationship?
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>>16696851
the only real trick to this honestly is to get them while there young, 18 to 21.
>>
>>16697611
He's a champ.
All he needs to do is block his ears and continually utter the magical words "mental gymnastics."
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>>16697443
I'm 24 and fuck about +15 women a year, all the ranges of age 19 to 40+.

It's not worth it.

I could have been making investments in making money and now im getting addicted to it.
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>>16697646
>I'm such a player
No one cares.
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>>16697585
>sex outside of a monogamous relationship.
in that case than i agree and share your views. it just shows a poor set of moral values, similar to casual drug use, gambling, or whatever other vices enjoyed in excess. don't get me wrong i'm not religious but it just doesn't show self control hence why its undesirable.
>>
While i agree with you and she just sounds like any other women but just that it happens that she is "in love" with you.
It's worth the try but you gotta test her, if she trully loves you and she pass all the "tests" then you can open yourself emotionally.
Might get hurt but maybe you won't
>>
>>16696851
OP, I know how you feel. There's nothing wrong with that, there are plenty of folks like you and more successful that have this problem

Make your own decisions. If she fails any of your shit tests; bail. It's not worth being with someone who doesn't share your views on sexual relationships.

People in this thread sure are salty
>>
>>16696851
Finally someone who understands. Keep doing God's work.
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>>16697685
>>16697695
>>16697701
>>16697714
>Hardcore samefagging
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>>16697625
he's trying to "get away" with easy/casual sex with girls by faking relationships with them
>>
>>16697718
kek I just opened the thread dude
>>
>>16697724
No hes going to ignore that you can actually keep track of new posters now.
>>
>>16697718
im guessing you've been offended, better crawl back into your safespace.
>>
>>16697656
>>16697646
Not him but he's right, it's worth way better to be with a quality woman that it is with one who treats sex as a casual thing than a monogamous relationship thing
>>
>>16697721
>be in relationship
>suddenly relationship is fake
It be different if it was known that the girl was already not wife material.
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>>16697733
>I'm so insecure I get rustled when girls have casual sex
>Obviously, you're the one who's offended
Alright, bud.
>>
>>16697695
>>16697701
Im not looking to test her. Our views differ on the importance of sex too much.
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>>16697749
If hes like OP, its the girls getting rustled.
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>>16697721
I think he would have broken up with the girls in the moment he learns of their past, but then he would be flagged as the guy who doesn't date slutty women and all the girls would hide their past to him in particular, even more than they already do.

He waits some months, so it will look like the girl's past didn't have anything to do with the break-up, and women won't have any problem in sharing their past with him. Genius, if you ask me. Twisted, but genius.
>>
>>16697758
Girls follow the emotion of the moment.
They'll forget about you 3 days after the breakup.
>>
Any living thing that can reproduce has sex with the intention of offspring and the majority of them stay together after so the thought of causal sex goes against nature, also I couldn't have a relationship with someone who does either cause they see no value in it
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>>16697763
Well obviously you cant just break up with the girl like that. Thats why I close off my emotions and the breakup is easier for her to understand Im just not there.
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>>16697754
>Im not looking to test her. Our views differ on the importance of sex too much
A girl has to pass your tests the same way a guy has to pass a girls tests. You test a girl to see if she is still the casual slut she is and/or if she'd jump on someone else's dick just by talking or looking at them.

I hate the red pill Reddit sub forum but they tell you how to perfectly test a girl from time to time to see if she's keeping her disciplined ass up or if she's worth dumping. They also give advice on how to pass a woman's tests

Be careful not to read any further though, because that red pill shit is mostly shit with a few gems (shit tests being one of them)
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>>16697749
i've long ago accepted this as the society we live in now. i don't like it but just don't care anymore. but if you're a whore i still think you're a disgusting whore, don't be mad.
>>
>>16697779
I'm a dude. You're a retarded fuck, don't be mad.
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>>16697766
This is such a smart post. What a girl felt yesterday or 5 minutes ago isn't relevant, its how she feels right now that dictates everything.
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>>16697766
Only someone who casual sleeps with girls would get this response.
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>>16697783
>men cant be whores
lol
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>>16697791
>You're having sex and having fun?
>You disgusting heathen
Think whatever you like.
Tomorrow I'll be out talking to hot girls. You'll be fingering your butthole at home with your neurotic thoughts.
>>
>>16697778
Im not a fan of the
>casual sex was just a phase
meme. Like if she denounced her past, joined a church, begged god for forgiveness, and regretted her past actions Id feel bad about holding it against her but thankfully that never happens.
>>
>>16697783
lol can't you at least try to rationalize the things you say?
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>>16697804
You think youre not a heathen yet when youre not talking to girls you assume its natural for you to finger your butthole.
The kek is strong in this one.
>>
>>16697820
>I can't distinguish humor
No. No you cannot.
>>
>>16697738
he literally said in the op that when he founds out they aren't, he just starts stringing them along for sex for months with no intention of staying with them. thats a fake as fuck relationship and shows him to be a pretty manipulative person

>>16697763
I understand what he's doing, never said I didn't. you even just said that it's a "twisted" thing to do

point is, OP is pretty hypocritical and naive to think he has any moral high ground to stand on when it comes to sex. he's being deceitful to obtain it. at least others can be honest and just say they want sex
>>
Lol have fun being alone for life. Or like go find a super fundamental Christian girl that won't have sex before marriage.
>>
>>16697826
>OP is pretty hypocritical
Yes, but it works. This way, he probably won't marry a type of girl he doesn't like. I'm not saying that it's right or wrong.
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>>16697826
>he just starts stringing them along for sex for months with no intention of staying with them
When did OP even mention he has sex with them. Not everyone enters a relationship for sex. I know this is hard for you to understand that theres more to a couple than that.
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>>16697826
>OP is pretty hypocritical
Wheres the hypocrisy is my post lol.
>>
There is nothing wrong with your moral code and it looks like you aren't a hypocrite either so you seem to be pretty solid in my eyes.

The only thing you can do is reject her advances. She will have to get the point eventually.
>>
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It's an /r9k/ episode
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>>16697865
Yeah this is pretty much how I see it. Its just when a girl is using tears to plead with you it pulls on your heart a bit.
>>
>>16697820
Rolf? You're real?
>>
I have the same sentiment to be honest. I don't mind if she's had sex with previous boyfriends but just slutting around? No, that isn't my game.
>>
>>16697433
This is too autistic.

I understand you think you're wayyyyy more reflective and virtuous than the rest of us because you have created a false sense of moral high-ground through abstinence... but to functioning adults (which you're clearly not) sex outside of a relationship isn't always bad.

It's good you have standards. I certainly wouldn't date a girl who has had tons of casual sex (you can't make a hoe a house wife) but I will bet my bottom dollar you're gonna end up alone because of this silly childish shit.

There is casual sex. There is meaningful sex. They are two separate things. Casual sex is not indicative of cheating.

Source: I've had sex with 5 girls, 4 of them it was casual, I've been in relationships for roughly 4-5 years (I'm 22) and I've never yet had any inclination to cheat on anyone.

tl;dr it's good that you have standards but stop being such a pussy.
>>
>>16697922
>sex outside of a relationship isn't always bad.
I know you think this. And so do the girls. Which is why I wouldnt enter a relationship with them
>Casual sex is not indicative of cheating.
Doesnt have to be indicative. Its just a meaningless show. Nothing wrong with having casual sex with others right.
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>>16697922
>false sense of moral high-ground through abstinence
I love how any time someone holds themselves to a standard, people with no sense of self control try to act superior. You're like Atheists that get a hernia when you see a theist doing a charity drive because "DUR HUR DEY BELIEB IN GAWD!", ignoring that not only is what they're doing harmless, it's all just a matter of choice.
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>>16697540
OP is the one leading people on. He's not nice. He promises girls he wants a serious relationship and then dumps them after they have had sex.
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>>16697950
>He promises girls he wants a serious relationship and then dumps them after they have had sex.
I didnt realize we were allowed to make up details of the story.
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>>16697943
They are just bitter because they know they are selling themselves out
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>>16697961
He says so in the OP.
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>>16697855
did you even read his posts in the thread? he says he has sex with them but then denies it's casual sex because it doesn't fit his extremely limited definition

>>16697862
that you condem girls for "casual" sex but play with people's emotions to get it yourself
>>
>>16697994
>he says he has sex
Wow never said I do or dont. You just assumed that and started ranting.
>that you condem girls for "casual" sex
True
>play with people's emotions to get it yourself
false
Which is why theres no hypocrisy. Do you only enter a relationship with someone for sex?
>>
>>16697990
Wheres the promise?
Wheres the dumping after sex?
If we are making up details OP only enters long distance relationships with these girls.
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>>16697878
Im not a fan of /r9k/ but people get way too rustled about it. Who cares what some random guy on the Internet thinks? You know what it's not just /r9k/, everything on this site is taken too seriously
>>
>>16697961
Just some faggot who's trying to defend casual sex with mental gymnastics.
>>
>>16696851
Bro, getting into a string of meaningless relationships is pretty much the same as having casual sex. You're a hypocrite. Actually, it's a little worse because you've actually hurt somebody now.
>>
>>16698001
nice backpedaling, but fine then, tell us now. do you have sex with these girls or not? if you don't, then okay. if you do, then you are a massive hypocrite
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>>16696851
You're a faggot.
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>>16698014
>mental gymnastics
kek, was that on your word of the day calendar or something anon?
>>
OP you are OK in my book. Dont listen to those normies calling you a hypocrite as the term hypocrite itself is stupid, as its totally natural to put yourself in better position if you can, where most of fags here are just beta cucks.
>>
>>16698027
Not backpedalling. Ive only taken the position that being in a relationship and doing thing that you would do in a relationship are fine while youre in the relationship.
Nothing hypocritical about that. Sex or not.
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>>16696851
I think what OP's trying to say is

>meet girl
>start dating her
>find out shes been previously used as a cocksleeve by near-strangers but now expects you to invest your emotional well-being and material resources in her, expects you to put up with her shit, be there for her when shes struggling etc.
>all in exchange for access to a vagina that she gives away to strangers when she feels like it
>slowly withdraw all feelings from the relationship because why pay the full price for something she gives away for free?
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>>16698046
>why pay the full price for something she gives away for free?
I never really agreed with that sentiment since it kind of implies you're with her only for sex. I think it's more along the lines of if you don't value your body to that reasonable extent, why should I?
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>>16698060
For me its more why have intimate special sex with someone who has sex with anyone.
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>>16698009
>Everything on this site is taken too seriously
>takes posts seriously
>>
>people expecting the partner not to engage in harmless casual sex
Its all or nothing.
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>>16698038
>normie

Go back to /r9k/ already. You don't belong here.
>>
>>16698046
I think what OP's trying to say is

>I'm an insecure whiny faggot who only uses women for sex but expect them to be devoted to me
>>
>>16698197
OP clearly says that he doesnt expect anyone whos a slut to be devoted
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>>16698229
>slut

There's that word again. In /r9k/ terms, it means "a girl who has had sex with someone who isn't me". Try keeping that definition on that garbage board and don't spread it.
>>
>>16698235
Why are you so infatuated with /r9k/. Why arent you over there if youre so familiar with them.
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