should I be offended that my bf gave me a gift card for my bday?
he gave me a box of chocolates and a 50$ gift card. we've been together 10 months. first of all I am grateful and acted really happy and stuff. I just feel like it wasn't thoughtful.. and he didn't get me a card. personally if I was a guy dating a girl that long id at least spend 100$.
is this normal? I've never been in a serious long term relationship. idk for his birthday I already know what I'm getting him and it's gonna be like $160 and thoughtful things i know he wants
You have no right to be offended if you didn't discuss the expected cost of presents beforehand.
Some people don't make birthdays a big thing - my girlfriend and I rarely spend more than $30 on each other.
If you didn't say you expected $100+ of gifts, he couldn't be expected to know.
TLDR: Communicate better
This has to be bait. I absolutely love it when my guy gives me gift cards to the places I love to shop, so that I can pick out the shit I really want instead of him having to guess.
>I just feel like it wasn't thoughtful.. and he didn't get me a card.
So you feel like a gift card isn't thoughtful, but a card created by someone else is? Do you not think that's incredibly stupid? Cards are wasteful and useless anyway, unless they're handmade.
>is this normal?
For spoiled brats that expect perfection, sure.
okay I guess so..
idk it's weirdd Bc I like making him happy.. like his bday isn't until three months I already know I'm getting him a pair of shoes that are $90 that he almost bought at the mall like 6 months ago but put back Bc he didn't wanna spend that much, and a cologne sampler that has samples of like ten expensive colognes and a voucher for one free bottle of one in the sampler from Sephora that's like 60$ Bc he loves getting samples when I go there
idk like I'd wanna do nice and thoughtful stuff like that for him so giving me a gift card just feels kinda bad but whatever
It sounds like you're used to having money and he isn't, or he's just more fiscally responsible. While he may appreciate those items to your face, he's going to think about what a waste it all is. He likes samples because samples are free. It doesn't mean he wants you to spend a ton of money on him.
cheap and lazy haha
I already knew from day one he's cheap haha but he has beeen busy lately.. but also, i know for a fact that he worked till 4 on my day and then went to the mall to go get it before he came over to see me which feels bad but idk he's been busy too and his phone broke was $300/ so im trying to cut some slack.hejust mentioned getting plane tickets months ago, as an idea for my bday, and kept saying he was so excited for my bday months ago, so I guess I was expecting more
well no but a card like with stuff written in it from him that is sweet . but whatever . and yeah it's not a big
deal... but all I could get with $50 was one blush and a mini face brush. Sephora expensive so $50 is like two lipsticks ..
I mean no way I'm not gonna complain that would be so rude! like idk some girls get like jewelry from Kay jewelers, lingerie, flowers, chocolate.. and a $50 gift card seems cheap and lazy ya know
>but all I could get with $50 was one blush and a mini face brush. Sephora expensive so $50 is like two lipsticks ..
Tough shit. If you're complaining about not getting enough money to buy the shit you want, but you plan on spending triple the money on buying him stuff he probably doesn't want or need, then you're fucking nuts.
You also don't sound understand at all when it comes to the shit he's going through. If you care about someone, this whole thing should be a non-issue.
And some girls get absolutely nothing, and end up having to pay bills instead.
>and a $50 gift card seems cheap and lazy ya know
No, we don't know, because you sound like a spoiled brat.
it's not an issue ..
i just don't know what to expect bc I haven't even in a serious relationship
I'm totally fine with it.. would I have wanted more: something more thoughtful? I mean kinda
like for Christmas I just asked for shoes that were $80 and they didn't arrive on time so I feel like he could have got them for my bday but whatever ..
I just wanted more but I'm totally fine wit this ..
You say you're fine with it, but then you complain over and over again. "Waaah, I didn't get exactly what I wanted! But I'm totally not upset! This is not an issue, I swear!"
You're the type of person that will never be happy. Stop comparing yourself to others.
>I know I'm a spoiled brat but whatever
Yeah, that's not a good thing (for either of you). You're just going to bottle up resentment towards him, for not busting his ass to pamper you, and he's going to quickly get sick of you.
well I didn't even ask for anything
I'm just saying like if he was gonna get me gift cards he should have spent like $100 Bc $50 can't get you much these days.. that's like half a gift, but whatever..
at least if it was to Victoria's Secret I could have gotten ten pairs of underwear
but it's like happy birthday, here's a blush
yeah I'm a brat.. whatever.. what's wrong with wanting the best for yourself and someone who will do things to make you happy? work an extra day one week to make his gf really happy? like why is that so much to ask and make me seem bad for wanting him to spend at least $70 on a gift?
>well I didn't even ask for anything
You mentioned the shoes and how he could've used that as your birthday present instead. Implying that you really wanted said shoes, and not the crappy little $50 gift card that you can't buy anything with.
>$50 can't get you much these days
$50 can get you a lot, if you don't blow it on stupid shit like blush.
>what's wrong with wanting the best for yourself and someone who will do things to make you happy?
You're never going to be happy. You have to find happiness within yourself, and material things aren't going to make you happy. It's temporary.
>work an extra day one week to make his gf really happy? like why is that so much to ask and make me seem bad for wanting him to spend at least $70 on a gift?
Why should he have to? Why cant you learn to be thankful for what you have? What the hell have you done to deserve that kind of treatment, anyway? These days, only the desperate of the desperate are going to put up with that shit. I give you two another year, at most, unless you clean up your shitty personality.
and it's just annoying because a girl I'm friend with gave me a $50 gift card on my bday last year ..
she's my friend not even best friend. he's my bf and we spend a lot of time together, have sexual relations, etc it Just seems badddd
when he asked what to get me for Christmas I said that, because I really wanted those shoes.
I didn't ask him to get them for my bday. I just hoped maybe he did. and when he didn't get them for Christmas I didn't act mad or upset or antrhitng. when he gave me the gift card I acted really grateful and happy
and Sephora is an expensive makeup store.. you can't buy anything in there less than $20. so it's like buying two lipsticks. or a blush I bought that was $30 and a mini face brush that was $15 to apply it, and then tax.
material things don't make me happy, but little gifts and stuff are cute and make me a little happily sometimes and feel like he cares about me and loves me. it's just an added bonus.
>I didn't ask him to get them for my bday.
No, but you did say you secretly hoped he would.
>when he gave me the gift card I acted really grateful and happy
You shouldn't have to put on an act, you should be genuinely thankful and happy that he's willing to give you his time and money. Period.
>and Sephora is an expensive makeup store.. you can't buy anything in there less than $20. so it's like buying two lipsticks. or a blush I bought that was $30 and a mini face brush that was $15 to apply it, and then tax.
And you don't need that unnecessary shit. If it's too expensive, shop elsewhere. Getting the "best of the best" isn't going to fix your fucked up personality.
>material things don't make me happy
Bullshit. You've done nothing but go on and on about material things in this thread, because it's never enough for you. "Oh, but so and so did this! And so and so got this and that! He should do more! He should get me more! I want a slave, not a boyfriend!"
>but little gifts and stuff are cute and make me a little happily sometimes and feel like he cares about me and loves me
And he did get you some little gifts, that you're not happy about, because you're an ungrateful person.
well it's a gift card to Sephora... I can only spend it there
he doesn't really spend money on me.. most guys will buy their girls gifts all the time..spend $50 every courple months on lingerie or makeup or anything just because .. it's my birthday and yah I expected more ..I'm not mad at him .. I just wish he was more thoughtful and bought me gifts sowmtkmes because it's nice and cute and sweet and makes me happy
I'm not doing anything wrong
>well it's a gift card to Sephora... I can only spend it there
Then be happy with your blush or your two lipsticks, you ungrateful sow.
>he doesn't really spend money on me..
It's not his job to! Jesus Christ.
>most guys will buy their girls gifts all the time..spend $50 every courple months on lingerie or makeup or anything just because
Then go date someone desperate with cash, because that seems to be all you care about. He could just as easily find a girl that isn't an ungrateful gold digger.
>I just wish he was more thoughtful and bought me gifts sowmtkmes because it's nice and cute and sweet and makes me happy
TL;DR: I want free shit! Gimme free shit!
>I'm not doing anything wrong
And this is why you're going to end up washed up and alone.
No, it's not. It's his job to take care of himself. If you want something, then you need to earn it yourself. Learn the value of a dollar and get a fucking job. Maybe then you'll finally grow up.
A gift card, regardless of cost, is a pretty lame gift for a significant other because of how impersonal/not requiring of thought it is, but you seem pretty vapid and annoying with your expectation of a sort of minimum price as a weird rule for your relationship, so I dont know. Maybe you are as stupid as you sound and so he only keeps you around to fuck and doesnt care enough to get more than a piss easy gift card. I cant think of any other explanation, RIP
It's not his Job to do any of these. If you want something like this, get yourself a sugar daddy. If you feel like it wasn't thoughtful:
Decide between those two:
1. He gets you something He has absolutely no idea you would like or not, it even hate, but makes the little effort of "thinking about whether you will like it or not"
Or 2. Getting you a free pass to make yourself happy.
Tbh your biggest present is him still being together with you, I would have dropped you for this.
uhm yeah that's how I feel too.. like he put no thought into it desu..
but whatever.. not gona overthink it . and I've gone out to dinner with his family, etc, I don't think he's using me just to f me
but idk. he also told me months ago he was considering getting
For his future. You're not necessarily a part of it. I'm not surprised that you would automatically jump to a ring, given your nature. Most likely a house, a car, emergency money, etc. Stuff you probably don't have to worry about.
My ex once complained about a several thousand dollar CRUISE SHIP gift I got her for her birthday (which was 3 days before our anniversary). Apparently she didn't like being away from the apartment and moaned about the passengers and bed the whole time.
Let's just say that she's an ex for a reason.
Forgot to add:
So be fucking grateful about a nice thought. All I ever got for my birthday was a nice set of clothes that was no more than $60, and I loved it. It's the thought that counts.
I'm not trying to punish him
but ur saying he does it becaus he's just using me for sex, and saving his money for his future that prob doesn't include me? like I'm the bad guy, but then ur saying he doesn't care about me? lol yeah bye ur fuckig dumb.. get a life
I didn't say that, because I'm not that anon. You're talking to multiple people here.
I'm saying that he's focusing on his future by saving. If you don't grow the fuck up, fast, you won't be in it. It doesn't matter how much he cares about you. When someone is as spoiled and entitled as you, no one is going to put up with that shit. If he has any self respect, he won't stick around.
>at least $100
I still don't spend more than $80 on birthdays, and we've been together for over four years. You sound really materialistic, to be honest. Was the gift card at least to a place that you enjoy going? If it was to a department store, that's pretty lame, but I would shit myself with joy if I got $50 to Sephora or something.
I love girls like you. So easy to manipulate by buying expensive shit. It gives people with rotten and cruel personalities like me a chance to get laid. God I love spoiled dumb brats like you. Buy em a necklace for 200$ and they'll fuck you for months.
He remembered your birthday, he got you something, and he made reservations for a nice date. And you're complaining because the gift wasn't good enough. Honestly, you're being absolutely ridiculous. Some people just aren't very creative about gift-giving, but the fact that he did all this stuff at all shows that he cares.
Just remember that he's not a mind-reader. 10 months is still early stages for a long-term relationship, and girlfriend gift-giving is really tough. If you spend too much money, you're trying too hard and it's a turn-off. If you don't spend enough money, you don't care and you have a big fight. It's a fucking minefield. Don't blow his head off when he's clearly trying.
this is BS
a good boyfriend takes you out to a nice dinner once or twice A WEEK not just on special occasion. he gets no props for that. a gift card is a total GARBAGE GIFT especially when it's just $50. lol that's like not even a quarter of a gift... he's either cheap or just poor... dump his ass
I did this in my relationship. After we had been dating for 2 months Christmas rolled around, I sperged out and got her a gift card and some other stupid shit. I dropped the spaghetti on that one, but I recovered and started getting her better gifts afterwards.
I'd forgive him, but if he doesn't get his act together you need to ask him about it. Some people are just bad at getting gifts. You might have to get him a list. Hope this helps.
Also, dont listen to these dumbasses who think that a gift card is an appropriate gift for your significant other. It can be a gift if it's accompanied by something else more personal.
Gift card is a shit gift by itself, but good for accompanying other gifts. Throw in a 50 card so she can get what she really wants sure, but a ring or a neckless or a TV show she likes or fucking anything to show you've been paying attention. Yeah that's a shitty gift, unless you've expressed a serious chocolate interest and those were high quality chocolate. Not a bad guy, but yeah he isn't a good gift giver. Tough luck.
>If I was a guy
If I was a girl I wouldn't be so caught up on the fact that he gave me a gift card and more excited that we hadbdinner reservations. Time with people is more fun than presents.
Lmfao shut up you ugly slag. A good girlfriend would cook her boyfriend every night of the week. I know you think that man are just creatures put on this planet for you to extract resources from, but in 5 years tops you're going to hit the wall, and no one is going to want anything to do with you. Even if you can trap a man now you'll never be satisfied in life with that shit attitude, and the only man you'll ever be able to secure will be a beta-male, because any man worth a single molecular shit would be able to better than you without lifting a finger.
This thread is why I've quit bothering with serious relationships.
My ex wouldn't stop dropping hints about wanting surprise gifts and more ornate presents, and then she phoned in my fucking birthday and got me some game that *she* wanted for herself, like ten days after the date itself.
>implying relationships are about money
>implying a relationship has to become more expensive after more time passes.
>Implying relationships are just a game with levels you can reach and it gets like harder each level.
>I'm implying your relationship is corrupt because you are both thinking about materialistic stuff instead of.. you know.. love..?
yes he wasn't thoughtfull, but how can he be if he has a grilfriend that thinks like this:
>personally if I was a guy dating a girl that long id at least spend 100$.
can you please make a chart for all of us with time on the X-dim and money on the Y-dim? we realy need to know this stuff...
You sound like someone very young with no financial understanding of the world. The only reason I know this is because I used to be exactly like you when I was younger but then I grew up and realized what a spoiled wasteful bitch I was.
dump him and find a better sugar daddy then?
this thread was made by a fat manchild, no woman would post this here, it reeks of being contrived
Giving a gift card IS shitty (unless it's a distant relative you never see). No doubt about it. The monetary value of the gift is a matter of matching expectations. I'm not sure why you would expect otherwise if you already know he's a skimp.
I didn't read the thread but here's my opinion.
I live in a 3rd world country so 50$ seems like a normal gift amount to me but idk. What would bother me is the fact that he just gave you the card and wasn't inspired to buy you something that reminded him of you.
My bf is the same, he brings his friend along when he's choosing gifts for me. Money isn't the issue as doesn't mind paying an expensive dinner for example..but I always know what to get him at least 1 month before the birthday and its offending me to see he didn't bother much.
Just explain your feelings to him and he'll be more thoughtful next time.