psychologically condition your brain to enjoy life.
first and foremost: do you actually have a reason to be depressed? or does the normal wave of life make you feel depressed?
if you have reasons to be depressed, write them down. if your list looks like this >no gf >no best friends >no money
than you are already on the wrong track. the most you can really ask for in terms of money is enough to not be stressing out all the fucking time about what you're going to do next. a gf will not make you happier, and you can't predicate happiness on some stranger coming into your life and making it enjoyable. so get that notion out of your head. friends are in the same category.
Moving on, for the most part people are actually only depressed because they are edgy. they didnt mean to, but they psychologically trained themselves to simply be unimpressed by daily life events and can only experience joy when its an extreme high. this happens a lot because of instant gratification of simple video games and the like.
so first, make a list of what depresses you, and cut it out of your life. its never easy. its often hard. sometimes its going to lead to more sorrow. but a lot of sorrow now by cutting off somethign that makes you miserable can lead to a life time of happiness once you finally get over it. staying in a relationship with ANYONE just because you are already in that relationship (whether its familial, romantic, or platonic) is a stupid idea. life is meant for you to go out and meet new people and form new bonds and grow from one another, then moving on when you've done all you could. if there are people in your life holding you back, cut them off. if there is SOMETHING in your life holding you back, cut IT off
next, make your life better. make a list of what you want to make yourself more fulfilled. for a lot of people its
>get a gf >get good friends >get a good job >get fit >get a hobby
the list is a bit problematic. going out and just trying to get a gf is dumb. connections are spontaneous and chemical and natural. thats like going out and just looking for 'fun'. you cant. you do other things, and the good stuff comes.
so instead, in regards to friends, promise to do more social activities. this might be just going to a party once a week if ur that kind of guy. or it might be going to the bi-monthly magic the gathering tournament if ur a geeky guy.
regardless of ur interests or how 'alone' you think they are, there are always people willing to meet up and talk about it over a beverage or some food. go to craigslist and click the discussion section and click every single subject that interests you, whether its spirituality or pets or music or tv or books. then look at the ads and see who is hosting a meet up. go to meetup.com and do the same. then google local shops that cater to your interests (hunting? fishing? boating? geeking? whatever!) then ask if they have any events. most shops will charge admission for special events but you can meet tons of people there who are just enjoying their activities together.
the same goes for the 'gf' goal. instead of trying to get a gf, make it a goal to talk to at least one girl a day. i advice trying to talk to one girl and one boy a day, not for sexual or promiscuous reasons, but just so you can say 'i talked to someone new today and got a little experience'. even if a girl is ugly you learn a little more about interaction and it gets easier as you do it more. go in without being fliratious and you allow the opportunity for someone to actually connect with you instead of immediately having to decide if they would date /bang you.
for get a hobby, i recommend taking a look at what you do for leisure and turning that into an endeavor.
do you like to read books? well now its time to write one. like to watch movies? time to make one! like to read comics? time to draw one!
the difference between doodling a picture and making a comic is different, and when you finish your first issue you will feel amazing, even if its low quality. hobbies with endgoals are more fulfilling and make you feel like you are achieving goals, cuz you are. whereas just drawing or watching a movie does not.
as for get a good job, its all about the hunt. dont be afraid to settle on a job for money, but that doesnt mean you cant keep applying. apply for jobs you dont even want, cuz you might be surprised to learn how good the job is in the interview, and if not, you at least got practice interviewing. eventually oyu get AMAZING at it.
and as for get fit, just get fit. speaks for itself. but any goal you make can be easily broken down.
the best thing you can do is savor the moment. no matter what it is. stop right now and take a deep breath. take three. for thirty seconds just take really deep breaths and enjoy that. feels nice, yeah? think about how nice it is to breath as compared to when you have a cold and that sucks.
now open your phone, and schedule two random remidners throughout the day. for the nextg week. every time one of these reminders goes off, you stop what you are doing and think about how grateful you are for something. appreciate how nice the clouds is, a nice breeze, that cute girl in the corner, how interesting hte lecture is, the meal your eating, how soft the couch is, how warm the water is... whatever. and if you are too edgy to find anything enjoyable, think about breathing again and how nice that is.
what this does is psychologically condition your brain to have a positive response to daily mundane activities. it thinks that breathing is a positive epxerience and will release the chemicals that make you happy.
eventually you wont need the reminders and you just naturally stop and think about how nice something is as its happening. its pretty cool.
>do you actually have a reason to be depressed? or does the normal wave of life make you feel depressed?
i suddenly got hit with a lot of debt and it'll be a while until i'm financially independent, i'm typically a pretty optimistic person
> if there are people in your life holding you back, cut them off
i've done this, i cut everybody off and i'm just focused on my finances right now. i don't want to waste time hanging out my friends are the typical, "dude imagine if..." 24/7
I recently also came to the realization that i'm not conventionally attractive and that's been kind of bothering me to but that's not even a real problem
at this point i'm so jaded that i don't even chase women
i just want someone to talk to but that won't fix my debt. i go to work all day and then come home and do my little side business. i'm just bitching at this point but i get incredibly sad. i had therapy recently but they just told me what i already knew and i have a prescription for a mood stabilizer but i don't want to get used to that
my life just feels incredibly empty and i overthink everything
i know things will get better in time but i just have a tendency to get incredibly down on myself and with these debts hanging over my head it's even worse now but i understand it's every man for himself
the only thing that really helps me is every once in a while i'll cry and it's really cathartic but i think i'm developing a codependency on that release idk
sorry for the terrible formatting and the spastic topic changes these are just the things that are on my mind
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