Girlfriend and I always go to raves. She wears revealing outfits which I think are really cute.
Now she wants to wear pasties. Is it okay if this is a dealbreaker for me?
At some point the thirst for attention became too much for me. After she told me she wanted to wear pasties I realized that she never wears that stuff for me. Even during sexy time.
She says its cute but pasties are waaaaay too revealing to be cute. It's just straight up sluttiness. I'm okay with a lot of things band i loved her outfits and even though they were revealing, they were cute and looked really nice but pasties are way too naked for my taste.
How do I approach this?
I actually don't think it would bother me if my girlfriend wanted to do that. Who cares as long as she's with you and isn't hooking up with other dudes?
If she was going off WITHOUT you and doing this, then I would be upset.
Just draw a line.
Say "I'm not comfortable with that, I feel like it would be you standing naked in front of a bunch of guys"
It's okay to draw lines like this in the relationship. You're not "being controlling" if she's free to end the relationship and wear pasties whenever she wants.
Just tell her that it's not something you're comfortable with. If she agrees to not wear them and then goes behind your back, treat it like a cheating case.
Just tell her what you told us. If it were me, which it isn't, i don't give a damn if my girl sluts it up- as long as she's with me the whole time.
But whatever, it's a free country.
I talked to her yesterday and we came to a compromise that she'd only wear it with me and she was fine with that but the problem is that now I feel like she's gonna feel left out and its gonna lead to us breaking up because she feels like she's missing out or something because she seemed somewhat upset about it . I don't wanna waste my time pretty much.
I don't know. I guess I realized that a lot of issues we have in our relationship. Mainly the one being that she literally never dresses sexy for me in that way ever but will do her best to do it at a rave. I don't feel good about that and it made me think less of her seeing as there are girls out there that will always think about their boyfriends no matter what. She kinda has the mentality of I don't care what you think, which I admire but i want a girl that cares about my opinion and what I think of her sexy clothing and whether I like it too and I think that its sexy too.
Do you get what I'm trying to say?
Idk, I think you folks have problems that go way beyond pasties, and that's just something you're gonna have to think about down the line. I do think that compromise is reasonable, though.
You should worry more about you resenting her for doing things that made you feel uncomfortable, because that's far more likely at this point.
If you're afraid to tell her how you feel, the relationship will not last.
Mature couples are able to reach a compromise. You said you were able to reach a compromise, so don't suddenly give in. She'll respect you more as a partner if you're not flip flopping all over the place.
All she needs to know is that it makes you uncomfortable because you don't want guys to be eyeing her all night.
You should ask her "am I giving you enough attention? There are other ways to look cute without being practically naked. Is there a reason why you want to wear the pasties specifically?"
There may be an underlying reason why she feels she needs to turn elsewhere for attention. If you get at the root of the problem, situations like this will not continue to occur.
>Mainly the one being that she literally never dresses sexy for me in that way ever but will do her best to do it at a rave.
Have you, you know, actually talked to her about that? I mean, Christ, if not you're basically doing the chick thing: playing games and expecting your partner to "just know better" instead of speaking your mind. That's not how it works.
It's not necessarily a sign of how attracted she is (or isn't) to you, not necessarily a sign of not giving a shit, it's entirely possible she's figuring, "Well, why would he want me to 'dress sexy' for him? He literally sees me naked and gets to fuck me every few days." She might be wrong but she wouldn't be crazy for thinking that way.
Well, it's either you go full degenerate or don't go degenerate at all, desu. It is sort of a slippery slope. When people say marijuana is a gate way drug, it sort of is for example.
You should of expected this behavior from a raver chick. I'm not saying it's bad, but let's be real here. I can relate in that I value modesty, but I don't think less of people who don't. If you don't share the same values towards modesty, then why are you dating? You're clearly looking for modesty in the wrong person.
You're dating a raver, senpai. People can say "oh their interest doesn't mean anything" but frankly ravers tend to be slutty and attention craving. You're dating an attention whore. Break up or deal with it.
Kek many of my friends' girlfriends are ravegirls who wear typical rave outfits.
Not pasties which a fraction of girls wear. Not all rave girls are crazy but I do agree with you that most are lel
If she was enthusiastic about doing whatever she could to please you sexually, then I think you ought to be okay with her wanting to show off her body.
But the fact that she wants to do the latter but not the former is a huge red flag. You've got to either fix that or leave her, but I'm not sure what you can say or do fix it. (I'm sure there is action you could take to fix it, I just don't know what that is...)