Me and my girlfriend has been dating for more than 2 years now but, for some reason, sex has become so rare. When we started, we have sex more like everyday until slowly it became less and less. I'm 25 and she's 23, we both have careers which can be tiresome at the end of the day. But even during weekends or days when we're not too busy, she doesn't really look for sex anymore - She'd rather watch some movies or play games. I don't think feelings is the problem at all either as she does make me feel that she loves me but the sex just... it is just slowly fading.
The thing is, it makes me a bit insecure that maybe i am not sexually appealing for her anymore. I confronted her about this on various occasions but yesterday made me snap... she retorted that she doesn't need to re-assure me all the time and it hurts me deeply.
How do i get around this? Can i revive the spark in our sex life? Do i have just to live with this?
PS. I don't know if this helps but she is my first partner i had sexual intercourse with and I am her 2nd. We are also lesbians. :S Please don't burn me on the stake.
You both are going to have to come to a compriomise, she doesn't need to have sex only when you feel like it, and you need some sort of sexual pleasure on a decent basis. This is a conversation that you're gonna have to have with her. If she won't change, you may have to jump ship.
But jump ship just because we don't have sex as often? I am conflicted because a part of me is not satisfied without the physical connection. I did try talking with her and making compromise but it never pushes through. I also don't force her if she doesn't want to if i ask. I just don't know what to do from here.
It's a lost cause. If the sex has dipped so much so soon, she's just one of those uninterested, frigid bitches. Dump her before you knock her up and you have to beg for a hand job on your birthday.
Sexual needs factor more than you may think. If you don't compromise (either within the relationship, or outside of it, aka open relationship or cheating) or break up with her, then you're going to survive by being miserable or burying your sexual feelings inside until one day 10 years later some woman drunkenly grabs your crotch and it all comes rushing back in an instant.
Welcome to the married man's conundrum. It is fairly normal for a woman, when content and settled into her life to lose some of her libido. It's not loss of attraction it's just the way it is. It's why so many guys stray.
There is also an equivalent phenomenon called lesbian bed death. Where both women lose libido when in a comfortable relationship. Often one of them has a higher testosterone level and a higher sex drive leading to the same problem as married men.