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Office catfights
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Getting tired of it.

my personal assistant just had a shouting match with the accountant today.

Lots of insults, 'why do I make a quarter of what you make if I'm twice as old followed by accountant shouting my PA's salary), then the PA 'Because you're no where near a quarter as smart' and then called her a 'hag' and told her to 'fly off on a broom'

So, I had to fire the accountant- Not good. Someone is now mad at me, and the company, and has a list of our clients, margins, fucking everything.

Now, I need to do the accounting myself, on top my 70 + hour work week (which I was getting used to because it was 90+ when we didn't have an accountant... now it's 80, and I have another 20 hours a week because I put half the time I saved back into the company)

So what the fuck do I do?

This is the 5th female employee that my PA has had a shouting match with- I can't fire her because she's the only one in the company other than me that does good work.

What the fuck do I do? it's a company not a zoo
5 times sounds like your PA might be more guilty than you think.
Your PA is creating work for you, actually, with all these shouting matches.
Never fire your accountants, finance guys/gals and IT staff UNLESS you have a really good reason to do so. Do your accounting and get rid of your PA.
Is this bait? How can you possible let the PA run wild like this. She isn't irreplaceable. Just fire her. She's obvious the bad seed in the office making it shit for everything else. And also for you since you have to do the accounting now. Grow some fucking balls. Fire her or let her do all the extra work.
>I can't fire her because she's the only one in the company other than me that does good work.

Does she do good work? or "good work"?

Why? I know enough accounting to be some other companies accountant- if I'm hiring one, it's because they save me time. Same for IT.

I already had to talk to her before about bothering sales staff and me too much- the books are perfect, you get an excell doc, put the document in the fucking books.


Highest sales numbers in the office while basically my bitch- does whatever I don't have time for, the scraps, and sells more from those scraps than anyone else in the office, deals with clients, etc.

It's good work anon.

I believe in paying people for how much net income. I think it's a very fair system, and a lot better than paying people on sales or revenue.

Because they know your shit.

I don't want her doing the books- because the books is something I can pay someone 1/4th of what she makes to do, anyone can do the books.

You pay people for how much they are worth- someone to strip apart machines is worth $8 an hour, because 99/100 people can do it.

Accounting, 5/10 people can do it, still isn't worth a whole lot to me, because there are 4 other people I can get to fucking do it.

If you have something you do better than 99/100 people, or 99/100 of people do, and it makes more than 100 times as much for the company as some shmuck, then I'll pay you 100 times as much as my janitor, because you're worth it.

Yeah- but I did those books myself. They are air tight, fucking audit proof books, with every deduction maxed to the hilt within legal %s

She can drop those books off at the IRS- they're that fucking good.
The PA needs a punishment for fighting or she's probably going to keep fighting these dumb bitches because she thinks you have her back.
Well your PA is the problem and she will keep making work life shit for everyone. If you're okay with that then brace for more drama.

I don't know.

There's an atmosphere of fighting at the company- I like it.

The sales people have monthly quotas to hit as a group, and if they don't hit it, their take home gets cut for a month.

In addition, everyone is paid based on how much income they generate, not their sales figures.

This leads to people that are bad at their jobs getting,.. ousted from the company, all on their own, usually.

Meanwhile, the people that know what the fuck they're doing, tend to teach shittier employees because they want to avoid pay cuts more than anyone else, since they have more pay to cut.

I've had one male employee shout at 2 separate salesmen- until one broke into tears.

But it's fine, because the guy that broke into tears **BLEW** a million dollar sale, and the other guy fucked up too.

The problem here is I need the fighting staying to the sales office- if I have to listen to it, I don't want it anymore.

That includes the 2 top salesmen for the company, the accountant, and me.

No fighting allowed within earshot.
Ever think you don't have to scream at people until they break? A fuck up is a fuck up, crying over spilled milk is a huge waste of company time. You need to spank your PA onto thin ice for wasting the time she could have been productive and efficient with the office drama by going straight to you.
Does she even trust you to do your own job well enough? Have some respect for yourself and reign in the authority.
If you can't fire someone, can you dock their pay?
I literally see no other reason why anyone should listen to you.

Because if you piss me off, I fire you, and all my clients (and competition) will come to asking why I fired you the second your app hits their desk?

And at that point I get asked if it's because the company was downsizing a department?

I have the choice to say yes, yup, great employee, or I can say 'HIRE THEM AND YOU'LL BE SORRY'


I've screamed at people until they broke- employees, suppliers,

Sometimes you have to.

Anyways, spilled milk is spilled, now I have to go soak up all the milk with paper towels and figure out how to get in the jar- you're fired.
> I can't fire her because she's the only one in the company other than me that does good work.

And I guess you're not willing to dock her pay either, so you have *no* power over your PA. Is there any flaw in my logic that you see? Am I missing something here?
Pushing people to achieve is all well and good, but collective punishments are terrible for team morale and lead to infighting as you've described. If your management needs to direct some strong words to subordinates when they really mess up that is acceptable. Allowing employees to have loud, disruptive arguments is not.

You can make rules about 'no fighting' or whatever, but you should probably look at why your employees feel the need to yell at each other in the first place. If your PA has had shouting matches with five different employees, you need to first look at why the resentment and distrust is building, then sit down with your PA to make sure the arguments don't keep happening.
Screaming is not an intelligent professional decision for any company.
Is this bait? Are you a third world shit hole company?
Figure out your boundaries and enforce them. The PA is still in the wrong for getting into a fight at all, and should be even more so because you've let it slide 5 times because you're retarded.

I can dock her pay.

It would go against every thing the company stands for.

Pay cuts are for people that cant SELL

Raises and bonuses for for people that SELL

I don't think it's right to dock her pay.

I think it would be unfair, if it were me, I'd leave the company.
Let her leave. She wasn't selling, she was screaming. That works.
>Sometimes you have to.
Yes, sometimes. But it should be a tool reserved for only the dire, urgent situations or the most serious of mistakes. Overusing shouting, bullying and negative reinforcement can get results in the short term but in the long run it leads to all manner of problems (as you're experiencing now). Without making too many assumptions, maybe your own approach is carrying over to your PA. If you frequently adopt a confrontational, verbally aggressive approach, then your employees will see your behaviour and be influenced by that. Having a boss that is tough is fine, having a company full of people like that is not.


There are 9 sales people in the company- and me.

I do 65% of sales. My PA does 10%. My number 2 guy did 7.5%.

The other 17.5% is split up among 6 guys, and their salaries and sales figure are posted every month, on a big chart in the front of the room.

If they don't hit certain numbers, they all take cuts and miss bonuses and they can see right there, in black and white, who's fault it was.

There are 43 scrap monkies in the company- they make on average, $11 per hour. My best scrap monkey makes $20+/hr

There's one janitor, makes $8.

My lowest paid salesguy makes 25,000$ a year. My pa makes 100k yr, well, 10k+ month in base salary.

But she makes me 1 mil+ per year, so why the fuck should I dock her pay?

I'd rather dock the 25,000 a year guy for breathing too much air that the good salesmen need to sell.
You "can" dock her pay and won't == can't dock her pay.

Is it really so hard to accept that your PA can walk all over you as long as she sells well? That's what you want, right?
You're not picking up what I'm putting down.

Effective management makes use of many different tools for getting people to do what you want and make the most profit for the company. 'Do what I say or else' is only one of those. Threats of pay cuts/firing should be a last resort, not your go-to option.

Speak to your PA, get to know her better, find out why these fights keep happening. Then you will be better equipped to prevent them. Or you can dock her pay $2000 every time she yells at anybody, and watch her productivity plummet.

Why are you lecturing me on effective management- I built this company.

If I wanted to, I could fire everywhere, have 0 salary expense, and lose about 25% of my clients.

They'll do what I say or else- that's effecting management.

Anyways, the only thing anyone cares about is MONEY.

That's why good work gets you more MONEY
I think op is either culturally challenged or behind a language barrier.
You asked us what to do about your PA's fighting, right? How to handle the situation so she would stop fighting?
Or do sales mean more than the integrity of your company?
Because you're confusing people now.
You're running your business like it's nothing more than an algorithm.

You business has culture, whether you like it or not. A bunch of people in a room for several hours a day is a culture. It just is.

The OP was a question about "how do I manage my business culture". Your OP had nothing to do with business algorithms at all. And you're all stressed and confused that there's no algorithmic solution to a cultural problem?

You've got people problems. Stop trying to fix it with logic.
>I think op is either culturally challenged or behind a language barrier.

I'm in new Hampshire- what the fuck are you going on about.

Anyways, let me make it clear.

I need salespeople to know that heckling each other doesn't mean you get to give the janitor shit- the janitor does his job, he doesn't get heckled, that's that.

That also means you don't back talk the people with more sales than you- because I've had it happen before, and that's resulted in firings.

I think that I'll institute a policy where if you break the rule, you get 10 hours of 'bitch work' (work that generates no or little sales but still needs to be done) for the next week.

So you're enforcing that your PA is basically a diva and can do what she wants just because she makes you money? You get to deal with the possibility of her purposefully sabotaging others sales by screaming at others so her numbers look better then. What if she is fluffing herself?

How do you fluff yourself? If you say it's a sale, I better have a check in my hand.

As far as sales, no one's allowed to take work from other salesmen- the salesmen get jobs from me, based on how good I think you are, and if you take someone else's job, they prove it, I throw you out of the building.
Obviously your system isn't foolproof since you're afraid of disciplining your PA.
You seem to be a man of your morals, so I don't suggest you do this. But have you ever wondered why CEOs like Steve Jobs get to kick back and relax in the Bahamas while everyone else has to work for him? It's because he can manage people to do work for him so he doesn't have to do it himself. He makes a few big important decisions and that's it - he's done. Just something to keep in mind considering how hard you work.
Just hire men, for gods sake. You're saying yourself that your female PA is worth more than the rest of them together, so you're not willing to get rid off her. You can't hire females since your PA is psychotic. That leaves you with guys to hire from.
If you were a good manager you wouldn't have employees shouting at each other all the time, you wouldn't need to explain to your PA why this behaviour is unacceptable, and you certainly wouldn't be asking anons on fucking 4chan for advice on how to solve the problem.

You came here asking for advice but seeing as you disregard every suggestion people make I think all you really want is to vent and have someone tell you what you want to hear.

You sound like an edgy teenager, or some autist who has no idea how human interaction and team dynamics work. You can't just tell people to like each other, under threat of punishment, and expect it will have any impact at all. You can go ahead and try to bring in some silly punishment system, but all that will do will make the fights happen when you aren't around.
He's disciplining his PA by giving her busywork. I see no problem with that. It's a roundabout way of reducing her productivity so OP can dock her pay.
Why is it based on skill if everybody should be doing basically the same thing?
Making a sale=/=skill
You put your eggs in one basket and it might not be the best basket.
That's what I was trying to get at. OP's problem isn't with how much work he's saddled with. His problem is that he was afraid he didn't have control over his employees.
This is like a bad yuppie movie from the 80s. Yeah you may get sales now and she may bring in a lot of it but you aren't developing your company or the skills of anyone in it. It's not sustainable in the long term. You need to hire the right people, create a pleasant atmosphere that makes sense to the average person and then let your business flourish.

Right now you're counting on one piraya who is sabotaging the whole office. This whole thing will blow up in your face.
>Making a sale=/=skill

What? No. Wrong- what the fuck am I reading?

The sales man that gets $10 for something worth $9 instead of $9 is the salesman I like the most, and I will give him the most expensive (and therefore, lucrative in terms of commissions) work

This is a skill based business- even the scrap monkeys get paid by skill.

More scrap more pay.

That's what the company is founded on - make me money, get paid
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