How do I will myself to get my fucking shit together? In terms of school I'm barely staying afloat, and almost got kicked out of college this semester. I'm overweight and lack both the self esteem and social skills needed to be able to establish anything longterm or romantic with a girl. I look and see people around me who are successful and happy, and all it does is make me depressed and angry at my own inability to feel like I'm living a meaningful life. Came very close to killing myself a few weeks ago, but didn't. Just looking to vent on 4chan because I'm not good at talking about my problems in real life, because I feel that A) They're first world problems that aren't even that bad, and I'm probably just being a little bitch and B) I don't like to let people see who I am past the surface. I would say that for a good portion of my life, I've been masking my personality and actual feelings.
I just want to fucking lose weight, have a relationship with someone I can relate to, and be successful in life. I'm upset at myself because I have no reason not to live up to these goals. Aside from not really having a father figure because of my parents getting divorced when I was 4, I've had a pretty good life in terms of stability. I do feel that my Mom was too lenient with raising me, but I don't see how I could be mad at someone for something like that, as it feels like it's just an excuse to deflect responsibility. At this point I'm just venting so /ventgeneral/ I guess.
Both of your premises, A and B, are false. If you kill yourself, that is a real problem. And you need to let people in.
My older brother is in the same boat anon. He's overweight, and unemployed. All he does all day is sit down and play fallout 4 and go to school. Recently however, he went out and applied for work in random places where I live.
Go to a gym anon and work the shit out of yourself so when you lie down in bed, you can smile and see that if you're capable of going to the gym, you're capable of bettering yourself. I believe in you OP.
Yes, but like I said, it's difficult for me to open up to people. There are three reasons for this. One is that I'm untrusting of people and am overly paranoid about what someone's true agenda could be. Two is that I don't want to appear weak in front of people. Up until recently, I was good at keeping up the facade of being a "normal" person, but not there are cracks starting to form
and I realize that my current course of action will lead to nothing but misery. The final reason is that I feel like some of problems are rooted in selfishness and anger. I have two half brothers that I truly love who live my father and step mom. But part of me is jealous that not only were they raised by my father, but they also had a mother figure present as well. To be completely honest, my Mom is a very nice women and friend, but she isn't a good parent. Deep down I regret that I wasn't raised by my Dad. I feel like if I was I would have turned out fine.
Tragic. Well, let us know when you have completely cracked up, because you are too proud to appear weak in front of people.
It wasn't always like this. It all started when I had a falling out with my mom in senior year and she forced me to see a therapist rather than work through my issues by talking with her and my dad. The next thing I know I'm being treated for severe depression with different medications and pills that I'm pretty sure made shit worse. This is why I'm reluctant to share my problems with people, they just lead to more problems
And I've already been burned once.
Find a part time job while you're in school. You'll get a lot of social interaction and learn valuable life experience. Also get active and try to eat better, get a gym membership and do research on a whole-foods plant based diet. If you do this, you'll life will improve, but only if want truly want it to.
It's an F-18 cockpit. Always wanted to be a Naval Aviator since elementary school. Had an ROTC scholarship and probably a Naval academy appointment too considering that I had already procured the congressional nomination. Both ruined by being diagnosed with depression and being prescribed medication. Things haven't been the same since that happened to be honest.
What's it like, anon? Are you going for helicopters, fixed wing or transport? Only reason I haven't killed myself is on the off chance of being allowed to reapply for ROTC next year if I can just sweep this under the table.
It's pretty cool. Kind of a grind. Sorta feast or famine. You either fly too much or too little. I spend most of my time studying. It's steep learning curve at first, but then you realize it is the same shit all the time.
My grades are decent, but not the best, so I'll probably get helos. my selections, I'm USMC are C-130, MV-22, and helos.
Huh, no fixed winged slots for your class? I'm well aware of the current downsizing but I thought most classes got at least 1 or 2 fixed wing slots. But that may just be for the Navy. Regardless, I wish you luck and training, anon. I hope you earn your wings.
c-130 is a fixed wing slot, but helos are more in tune with the marine corp mission. They are more flexible.
They actually took away the downsizing. Not sure if it will be back, but they put a hold on it for now. Navy does have a lot more fixed wing. Honestly, I'll fly anything though. I hear every platform is awesome.
Thanks man, I appreciate it. How old are you?