How do I stop my boyfriend's friends from being huge dicks to me?
Every time I hang out with them and my boyfriend his friends are always so rude to me. I tried talking to my boyfriend about it and he said he would talk to them about it but they're still huge dicks to me. I don't really want to say anything and make a scene to them as they're not my friends so there isn't much I can do about it except smile and pretend like it doesn't affect me.
Should I look upset about it instead so they know to stop? I don't really know what to do in this situation. I don't want to come off as a huge bitch but man they say some pretty upsetting things. Sometimes it makes me want to break up with my boyfriend because he hangs out with them so often, and if I didn't go with him I'd be sitting at home alone most nights (we live together).
Also I don't think I've done or said anything to make them be huge dicks to me, I always try to be super nice and just talk to them normally.
They know I was in an abusive relationship in the past and sometimes will make fun of me about it. Normally I don't really care but that is a pretty sensitive issue for me.
That would be fine but like I said, my boyfriend spends most of his time with them and if I don't go along I barely get to spend any time with him at all. I tried asking him maybe to hold back a bit on spending time with them but he thought I was being controlling or something.
I don't really know what to do.
He's not a bad boy, I literally met him on 4chan. We're both big spergs who like computers.
I don't need my boyfriend to change really, just his friends. Unless he'd like to spend more time with me and less with them, but I don't want to be demanding.
what you need to do is make you bf hang out with you alone sometimes. as is youre just ruining everyone elses good time. nothing worse than when your bud always brings his chick around.
although this is all your bfs fault, not yours. he's supposed to know this shit.
I've tried many, many times. He completely refuses. I don't think he realizes his friends don't want me around. I honestly don't know how he doesn't when me hanging out with them usually just consists of me sitting off by myself and not talking to anyone, not even my boyfriend.
I guess I will try telling him maybe his friends don't want me around, but I bet he will just tell me to stay at home then and hang out with me less. He really does not like compromising on it and there is no convincing him otherwise, it sucks.
Yeah I dunno, it's a tough situation and I know I should probably just give him an ultimatum and leave but I'm retarded and I still love him and hope maybe he will change his ways.
had to read your OP again my bad. I think his friends are being hostile because you are invading their male space and their time to be with their bros . I think it is best you don't hang out with them because women generally ruin friendship like that because women always want to be the center of attention and cause drama. etc.
I don't know, I would feel uncomfortable and guilty if he just told them off right there in front of me. He values them as much as he values me and I understand I guess. I don't want them to think I'm a bitch who is ruining their friendship or anything and start any stupid petty drama about it. I just want them to stop being dicks to me.
One thing though I just remembered his friends did invite us BOTH to hang out at their place soon, and they did specify both of us. Are you sure they don't want me around then?
See above, I'm not like that at all. When I hang out with them I pretty much just sit quietly by myself and they ignore me to do their own thing. Most of the time after having to deal with them berating me I just get really plastered and pass out. I've never made any drama or tried to be the center of attention, I'm not a very obnoxious person in general.
>his friends did invite us BOTH to hang out at their place soon
honestly if you're always there they probably just accept that he's going to bring you and included you in the invite to make it less awkward.
expect them to rip on you twice as hard for that.
>He values them as much as he values me
No he doesn't.
>I don't want them to think I'm a bitch who is ruining their friendship
Funny, they're A-OK with ruining his relationship from the sounds of it.
>Are you sure they don't want me around then?
Are you ALWAYS with them when they hang out?
Not always but whenever I am they tend to be dicks to me. Honestly there is one guy who his other friends think is trying to date me and he is definitely the worst of them and is the biggest dick to me, his other friends aren't usually that bad. I told my boyfriend that I don't want to hang out with him anymore because there's been many times where I'd come home after hanging out with him and get in an argument with my boyfriend about why he is still friends with such an awful person and doesn't say anything in my defense.
Will do. It is his friends who are usually not that rude, but sometimes they can be.
I'm not really sure about that one. He's not really an asshole, he is just completely oblivious to most social things, which is understandable as I am as well (I am autistic, but he's not). I think maybe his friends are too, except the one who apparently likes me. I legit think he is just trying to break my boyfriend and I up but of course I think my boyfriend is too oblivious to see it, despite his other friends straight up telling him that's what they think he is trying to do.
See here's a stupid stereotype that we can put to rest. Men rip on their friends who they've known for a while because they know it comes from a good place. An ass clown rips on a friend's gf who is clearly not happy with it. Let's end this "all men are just assholes lolz" meme, they sound like twats.
>I am autistic
I take it all back, be happy with what you have.
I have this same problem op, it sucks. My bf always says they're just joking, but it hurts. They'll make fun of my friend who commit suicide, make fun of my social anxiety, I'm literally their punching bag and I take it because I don't want to cause a scene. It's gotten so bad I'll go in another room and just break down crying.
I do the same thing, I usually just pretend to use the bathroom and go cry.
My main problem is I have a tough time making friends because of the autism. If I had my own friends I probably would just go hang out with them and not even care.
you seem like an okay person i guess. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way but you need a life of your own as well have you try having your own girls day out while he goes out with his friends or maybe a family member you can spend time with?
>If I had my own friends I probably would just go hang out with them and not even care
Yeah, it sucks. I have my own friends but my bf wants me to hang out with him and his friends too because I'm into a lot of the same stuff as them, not to mention I cook for everyone.
>but my bf wants me to hang out with him and his friends too because I'm into a lot of the same stuff as them, not to mention I cook for everyone.
>not to mention I cook for everyone.
>not to mention I cook for everyone.
>not to mention I cook for everyone.
>I cook for everyone.
And they treat you like shit?
Well the problem is that he doesn't think you're important enough to him to compromise on hanging out a little less with his friends and more with you. If it were me I'd break up honestly, you'll only end up more and more frustrated as time passes and some day it's going to blow up