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>be in relationship for seven years
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 36
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>be in relationship for seven years
>due to marry in a few months
>haven't even attempted sex for six months
>really want to have sex, fucking love it, but don't really have any urge to fuck my partner
>he's easily 9/10, just don't really have a spark with him anymore
>masturbate almost every night, always over other people
>partner doesn't seem to give any fucks about the fact we don't have sex

What do?
>>
>>16685628

Open relationship. It brought my girl and I closer together if you can believe it.

Inb4 cuck faggott only marry virgin 4ever yadda yadda yadda
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>>16685659

I have suggested this and he wasn't completely against the idea. I don't know how serious he thought I was though.

How do you and your partner choose alternative partners? I do have one person I'd kill to fuck but I don't know how to tell him it's a particular person (rather than someone random in a club or whatever).
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>>16685659
>cuck faggott only marry virgin 4ever yadda yadda yadda

Pre-emptively denying it doesn't make it less true.
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>>16685661

Our rule is that we don't include people we have 'a thing for'. If you'd kill to fuck this person for just physical pleasure, that's fine.

We just meet people, bars clubs, whatever. Sometimes months go by and it's just the two of us.

>>16685665

Here we go, it never fails. Got anything new to add?
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>>16685695

I don't think I have much of a "thing" for this person. I know he has a big dick and a really nice body, plus I think he wants to fuck me as well. It's not something I've been able to delve into much out of respect for my partner but with his go ahead I would do it in a heartbeat.

So things are going well with you and your partner? Who suggested it? Do you ever find issues when one of you can get it but the other can't?
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>>16685628

>About to marry a 9/10
>still want to whore around

And this guys, shows that is not about how you look, its because women are whores by nature and theres nothing you can do about it, just accept it and don't ever marry.
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>>16685713

Well as long as it's just sex, I think that's ok.

Things are going amazing. We were monogamous for 5 years until i hit a slump just like you. It took a lot of courage for my girl to understand where i was coming from. She said it was ok for me to sleep with other women, and I told her that I wanted to include her so she wouldn't feel rejected. That's the shorthand version of the story.

Since then it's been 3 years, and virtually no issues. We are in it for eachother, and no girl treats me better than she does. I'm happy to have this experience. That being said, I don't know if I could keep this up if we have kids. This is something we talk about.
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>>16685757

I didn't know monasteries had wifi.
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>>16685757

I haven't whored around yet though, I would just like to experience good sex again with somebody who wants to fuck me out of lust and not obligation.

My partner has no interest in sex and I want to have sex regularly. Other than this issue, our relationship is fine. I am seeking advice rather than fucking other people.

He is an 8/10 but without the spark, it's pretty redundant.
>>
>>16685769

Wow, women are fickle. That number is going down by the minute. Do your boyfriend a favor and get out of his life. You'll never be a good partner or good mother for his kids.
>>
>>16685762

I've not had no strings sex for a long time and I'm not entirely sure I could do it without any kind of attachment at all. I've known this other person quite a while and we're good friends, so I think that might be a bit of a difficult one to start on.

I just asked him his thoughts and although previously saying he'd be open minded, he asked immediately who I had in mind. I kind of shut down the conversation at this point as it seems like once I've named names, there's no going back.

I should add that we have a very open relationship and normally have no issues discussing our problems.
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>>16685769

so he was already downgraded? lmao
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>>16685778

Apologies for typing a digit wrong, although I'm really glad it supports your argument on an anonymous image board.

As I've explained, our relationship for the most part is fine and we're on the same wave length with our future. The only issue is the sex.
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>>16685768

Why are you assuming that i'm a monk when i'm practically saying to people to just fuck around for the rest of their lives?

also, back to tumblr faggot.
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>>16685782

He knows the guy, and that's harder to get over than a random stranger. Don't make this other guy #1 on the list of you want to keep the peace.

If your heart can't handle it, don't do it. This life is not for the faint of heart. It will really test your relationship, and only love and understanding will see you through it.

And to the monk Anon, don't you have praying you need to do?
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>>16685628
If he showed more enthusiasm or ingest in sex with you, would things be different, or would you still want to fuck other people?
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>>16685822
>ingest
*interest
>>
>>16685817

He doesn't know this guy, only I do.

After further discussion, he said he wouldn't want to put a label on it and would rather us just fuck other people if we wanted to, but never discuss it and if he ever did find out, he'd just forgive me and get over it. I'm pretty sure that's an open relationship?

>>16685822

I think I'd be fine. I'm just tired of there being no sexual contact at all. It has gotten to the point where when he does come to be for a fuck, I feel awkward. He has no understanding of how to make it feel good despite me trying to explain it. There's no lust, it's like he's just repeating what he has seen in porn.
>>
>>16685849
Why don't you ever try to initiate sex?

Either way, are you sure you want to permanently be with a man who you're not sexually compatible with?
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>>16685857

I used to, quite often. He lost his boner a few times so I stopped trying to initiate something I knew would end up in failure (although I should add, I never made an issue out of this).

The sexually compatible thing is a huge worry to me but something I feel I could deal with if I had another outlet. I feel like I've lost my sexual confidence through not having any sex for such a long time. If I was able to get this back, I'm sure I would become more committed to building a sex life with him.
>>
>>16685868
did you try to explore new sex plays or something new at least?
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>>16685849
>never discuss it

That's stage 1. Eventually, curiosity will get the better of someone. Stage 2 is trying threesomes., getting over the feelings of jealousy. Stage 3 is loving eachother more, now that you two have had someone else.

I've heard every naysayer, ever. I'm here to tell you that my relationship is strong. But again, if I had kids, I would reconsider this whole thing. It's too complicated for them to understand.
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>>16685875

Not really. I suggested looking into our fetishes a bit more but he said he had none at all, which kind of ruined that. Suggested we watched porn together but he didn't like having to choose anything, so that failed.

I think he's a bit too vanilla to look into butt play or anything like that.
>>
>>16685882

Agreed about the kids thing. I don't think it's the kind of lifestyle you can maintain while you have little ones to consider. I want to make the most of my life while I'm young and semi-attractive. I don't necessarily want to lose him in the process but equally, I don't want to break his heart if it's something he can't deal with.
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>>16685889
I cant believe this, every man generally have some kind of fetish, try harder.
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>>16685659
( U ( K
>>
>>16685902

Seriously, these were my thoughts too. I even told him mine first and they're pretty fucking weird. Said he couldn't think of anything other than "boobs" which is a bit of a fucking vague term.
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>>16685665
This.
>>
Following , I'm dealing with the same thing . Except 8 years, 1 year no sex and Idk wtf to do either.
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>>16685912
>>16685917

I said inb4!

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. No take backs, all sales final.
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>>16685849
>He has no understanding of how to make it feel good despite me trying to explain it.
PLUS you say later he can't keep an erection.
GET OUT NOW. THIS WILL ONLY GET WORSE!
Introducing new people into your sex life is a band-aid at best.
Without good sex, this relationship is not sustainable. Believe this.
>>
>>16685849
Excuse my curiosity, but you have mentioned that the very person you want to fuck is a good friend of yours. You've been in a relationship with your to be husband for seven years. Could you please enlighten me how the fuck he doesn't know about a good friend of yours?

Is it only me who provides information about his friends and introduce the good friends to his girlfriend? I mean seven years, just a year in a relationship gets you to meet pretty much everyone in your girlfriend/boyfriends life. Plus, you're about to marry. Or your understanding about "good friends" are different, I don't know.

To be honest I personnaly am a little bit suspicious over your fidelity because of your conflicting statements. Are you sure that you want to marry this guy?
>>
Did the sex life used to be good? If so, when did it change? Was there anything that might have caused it?
>>
>>16685929
>>16685849
Lets be honest tho the sex isnt good because the relationship isn't good.

You've gotten comfortable love, your fiancee honest to god probably hates your fucking guts and thinks about how happy he'd be if you die every fucking day.

Do yourself a favor and don't get comfortable. You need to have a talk and break things off. You're clearly a slut by the way you talk about whoever which there's nothing wrong with. Go get your wet pussy wrecked by mr. big dick. But jsut be honest with yourself. It's not just a sex thing. You just want someone to make sweet love to you. You deserve it and your soon to be husband deserves the same for him. You both can find that just not with eachother.
>>
>>16685628

I feel like there's too much we dont know to really give any sort of meaningful advice.

It could be anything from you being so bad at sex that he doesnt want to try, to him having a health issue that he's too embarassed to tell you about, to him being secretly gay, to him having an affair, to a secret porn problem, to you suddenly becoming an ugly hambeast or any number of other things.

He said he likes boobs, are your tits small? Have you tried wearing more revealing clothing that emphasize your bust?

Like we've skipped straight past trying to figure out what the issue is and gone straight to "hey how do i fuck someone else i really like while still seeming faithful?"

Marriage just ain't that easy, so if you're having doubts after 6 months it might be time to gtfo and start from scratch.
Thread replies: 36
Thread images: 1
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