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Advices for my GF
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My girlfrinds has a strange problem.
When he was 10 she started to tear her hair without a reason.
Now when she is stressed or sad automatically starts this weired habit, but she's not ok with her self, she would like to know the reason, the main cause that happend long time ago, but it is too difficult, maybe impossible.
We are in a sort of long distance relationship, i can see her only the weekend :(
This girl is so important for me, i want the best for her, but i can't be with her the time i would like and she is suffering so much for this.
Now we are in busy situation with our schools and activities, and she is so sad.
I had the idea to do something special next Saturday with her, maybe a gift, something that could help her to stay positive and remind her about how much i love her.
Do you have any sort of advice about our situation and about her habit?
Thank you for your time :)
(Sorry for my english)
It's called trichotillomania. It's a very rare disorder. My little sister has it too. There's nothing you can do about it
Usually stress triggers her pulling
I tried my best but couldn't find much. Look here.
Do you think she could improve with time?
She was wondering if the main cause may be a tragic event, like a rape or something else, but she doesn't know...but i don't think so
yeah, trichotikllomania. i had that too. i usually compulsively pick my skin,. but when i try to quit i resort to pulling my hairs, eyebrows and lashes.
it's a coping and calmin mechanism i got into as a little kid. lately it has gotten significally better. went to therapy, had ssri's for a year, now just got off of them again and i haven't had a serious picking or pulling session for a while! she should get professional help. that shit's deep rooted and hard to overcome.
The gene has always been there. The actual compulsion to pull though is usually triggered by strong emotions or even just boredom. My little sister started pulling her hair and eyelashes out in third grade because she transferred to an advanced program and couldn't handle the stress.
the reason i started was a very physically and psychologically abusive dad. i had phases of depersonalisation and it was my way of coping. so, there would probably be a serious reason why she does that.
Thank you.
May i ask, would you like something in perticular from your partner that could help you improving?
Like a gift or simply more attentions?
I feel so useless...
well, i'm EXTREMELY selfconscious about the visible aspects of this. in my case, mainly my butchered arms and legs. my bf sometimes tells me how much he loves my skin. i don't really believe him but him telling me that makes me almost cry. he's just fucking awesome. make sure to tel her that you think she's beautiful even with thin hair or even bald patches. maybe gift her a stress ball or something. and occupy her mind with positive stuff if you can. call her, go on dates, cuddle, have sex, try to get her interested in a new hobby that she can loose herselfe in. make sure it's something that occupies her hands. reading won't work. the hands wander all on their own...
Thank you so much.
Basically her habit damages aren't that noticable. Often when i'm with her i start to caresse her hair, she says she likes that so much, i also try to put positivity in her mind, we cuddle, and we have sex. I love her so much and she knows it.
i think an anti-stress object could be a great idea but i'm worried she would be angry, she may take it offensivly, i don't know she is instable sometimes but i will try as well
the stressball might be a bit too much. maybe get her something that isn't so obvious? one of those adult coloring books that are so popular right now?
crocheting stuff?
it's very sweet that you care about her so much! you definitely help her a lot by just being a wonderful bf. that's what helps me the most. and i also have the motivation to take care of my body because i want to feel beautiful for my bf. so, you are already helping her a lot i guess.
yep, you are right
I do what i can for her, we can't meet very often...
that's so sweet that you want to feel beautiful for your boyfrined
Ok, the coloring book may be a great gift, she likes drawing! I'll look foward to give her the best!
Thank you anon!!!
don't worry, i can't meet my bf that often too. but simply knowing that he's always there for me is more than enough.

god speed anon! your gf truly is a lucky girl!
Thread replies: 13
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