Carrie, I fucking hate you. Maybe if you weren't such a bitch, I'd help you with your work, but no, you decide to just trash-talk Eduardo, well he can't help it. For fuck's sake, even Julia is getting tired of this shit. Leave him the fuck alone or else I WILL destroy things.
My parents are pushing me to get a job on campus, join clubs, make friends, and get an internship. I'm just trying to figure out how I am going to survive with a roommate in the college dorms. Last semester living there was hell until my roommate moved out and I had a room to myself. I want to die
>>16683814 It's not the end of the world when someone kills themselves, so it's really not that important that anyone refrains from doing it, because it's not that important to most people who kills themselves and who doesn't.
My parents, who have always been loving and supporting, both said incredibly hurtful things to me yesterday in regards to my mental health and me seeking help. As of right now I just feel so terrible because I can't stop thinking that my parents actually hate me and think that I'm a failure. Can't sleep which is why I'm here.
>>16683869 It's going to be ok, anon. Your parents love you very much and are just worried about you. It doesn't make what they said okay, but know that it comes from a place of love, even if it seemed hateful
It doesn't have to be the girl I like currently.. Deep down inside, I just want a girl to love me. It's all I want.. is to be loved unconditionally.. Why? Why can't I even get someone to like me?.. much less love me..
I really need to get it together and start seriously looking for a job. I just realized it's been 7 months since I graduated college and I've read horror stories of guys living with their parents till they're 30 and I don't want to be one of those people.
I've had depression since I was 16 (21 now) but after being broken up with just over a month ago I just can't get out of the rut. I just don't understand why this has affected me so much. Yeah I loved here, and honestly I loved her more than anybody I liked in the past. I had a girlfriend of nearly 4 years but for the 3ish months we said we loved each other and the 1 month we dated, I've never felt so connected. Of course, towards the end she was lying and had someone else on her mind, so I can't say WE loved each other for such a short time, because sometimes I feel like she didn't love me at all and I was either a distraction, convenient or more likely she just felt sorry for me. I just don't understand why she said it and kept saying it.
I used to play videogames with my friends every day, and even during the breakup I'd make time for people and play some games, but ever since it actually happened I just haven't wanted to play anything. I haven't wanted to do anything, really. I don't want to talk to my friends, I don't want to go out, I don't want to do anything except just lie in bed and sleep when I can. I don't even like drinking and going out any more, but I do it all the time now because it's the only thing that makes me not think about how much I want to kill myself. Of course when I stop, everything is twice as bad. That's when I have tried to kill myself, when I've just been thinking at 3:00am in the morning when I can't sleep.
I just don't understand how this has destroyed me. Nothing else has hurt like this. I don't understand why nothing is healing. I'm starting to push everyone away because I don't even want to talk to my friends any more, and they must be worried sick. The fucked up thing is that I want them to leave, maybe I'll feel bad enough and actually kill myself and stop hurting. I just don't understand anything any more.
Not actually drunk, but at work kinda wishing I had a bottle lmao.
Just started dating someone from this restaurant I love. Great idea, right? Well, I really like the guy. Problem is, had a long-standing crush on one of the waiters. Well, waiter saw bf and I together last night, so that door, along with a couple others, has been slammed and locked. I guess I'm a bit disappointed, and I have some other feelings about it which I can't name right now, but I'll take Sunday to look within I guess. I guess I'm a bit sad for waiter, because the look he gave me when he realized was almost heartbroken.
Which is too bad, because I put the ball in his court repeatedly and our attempts were too weak. I tried, goodness knows, but nothing came of it. And I don't want someone who isn't going to fight for something he really wants, and bf just went right ahead and grabbed for me.
I'm also feeling a bit pensive because I feel like at any point my ex is gonna start talking again and I really don't want to deal with him anytime soon. It's coming together, but ugh, I feel like such a mess right now.
I'm running in circles... Ive managed to build up some self esteem when sober but I'm really suspecting that I'm loosing myself thats why I constanly get drunk to escape reality... I'm really working hard to get a Job, I'm a broke ass kid with 2000€ in dept... It just seems like I'm not able to break that circle myself :(((( But I dont want to lend money from friends anymore... I've been in post-mortal Depression but the more I'm trying to get out of it the harder it pulls me back
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