Okay. So, I have a sister in law. She is newly 14, she hit puberty early and is very beautiful so a lot of guys think she's cute. Problem is, my friend who is 21, is trying to be with her. He asked her on dates when she was 13. He also managed to get her drunk. I just learned that, as another friend told me. I don't think they did anything besides cuddle and maybe kiss. This makes me very uncomfortable. I did not think my friend was like this and he should know better. My fiance (her brother) doesn't seem to care much and it makes me scared for her. What should I do? I don't think her parents would care since they know she gets drunk and hangs out with older guys and they don't care.
Hmmm.... I don't know. I'm 21 and the idea of dating a 14 year old sounds like pedo teritory.
Anyway, what is it about your friend that makes you not trust him being around this girl?
Also she drinks and chills with dudes that are 21 regularly? And her parents are just cool with that? Her dad doesn't give a shit? Like she even brings the dudes around her family?
It looks like you have contact with low income or lowsocial/ intelligent class of people, I would stop contat with people that behave like that, but as you said you are almost relatives, there is nothingyou could do, you would just make everyone hate you.
If things like that is ok for them and not ok for you they are not your people to deal with.Good luck
It's fucked up that your family is letting their 14 year old daughter hang out and drink with 21 year olds or she's so poorly supervised that she can get away with it.
It's also fucked that your 21 year old friend is trying to fuck her up.
It's also fucked that she's been on dates at 13.
Basically everything is fucking shittery and you should flee from this cesspit of shittery if you are wise.
It makes me nervous because he purposely got her drunk one night and brought her in a dark room until another friend of mine stopped it.
And yeah, her parents don't care. My fiance told his parents that she was drinking and they literally said "why did you snitch on her."
*my in laws. My family would never allow this. I don't know what to do, I'll just be told it's not my place to criticize their parenting. They figure she's mature enough to do whatever she wants which is not true, she's still a child. Luckily my fiance was the weird one out of his siblings who didn't do stupid shit and knew better despite his parents not giving him attention
They came back from college, we went to high school together. They didn't used to be this way... I think they're just desperate or something but it's really bothering me. I cannot see him the same anymore
Sit him down and talk about this shit. Your friend is not making good choices. I think it's a reasonable cause for concern especially if he knows she's 14 and he was cool with basically trying to rape her. Why doesn't your fiance or parents care? Do they know he's into getting little girls drunk?
I plan on marrying my fiance lol, so it's kinda hard to avoid them altogether (although admittedly I do try at times) but I'm also afraid that someday when I have children, their grandparents will want to babysit them and I don't want them growing up that way.
They are the least strict parents I've ever met. She's literally gone days at a time without telling them where and they don't care. They figure she can handle herself. It seems like they just don't care at all. My fiance has tried talking to them but they don't care.
^ agreed. OP, I can understand that you are hesitant to criticize your in-laws' parenting methods, and they probably wouldn't listen to you on that front anyway.
But you seriously need to talk to your friend. Do you want him to go to jail for statutory rape/getting a minor drunk? He needs to realize that these actions harm him, too. One day someone is gonna call the cops on him, and then what? If you're his friend, then you owe it to him to at least try to steer him away from this path.
This guy should no longer be your friend, OP. I would cut ties with him.
If her parents won't care, you could always tell his. Or you know, the police. He obviously plans on having sex with her if he hasn't already. This is legally rape. She is a child. Your friend is a gross pedo.
what the fuck viper
they all sound fucked up
nigger you need to find some people in your life with fucking morals
I would literally break a guys legs got getting a 14 year old girl drunk and trying to have sex with her
if he was 18 it would be bad enough, but 21?
mane fuck that
Trust me, I didn't know they were like this until now. I have other friends so it's not like I'm losing a lot cutting ties with this guy, but I also don't want to turn my back on it and pretend it's not happening. I care about her and I know she doesn't know better, she's young and dumb. But I want to protect her as I've been sexually assaulted before. It makes me really emotional to try talking to her about this kind of stuff, since I rarely talk about what happened to me. I don't want anything to happen to her...
Whatever you do, don't outright tell her he wants to fuck her. This can have the wrong effect on young people who are curious about sex. You think you're warning her but she might stop listening after the lightbulb realization that she could easily have the sex with this specific person.
Find out if there's anyone decent her age around and tell her "I think that boy is into you". She will be distracted. It's a mindfuck, but it will decrease the pedo risks
Call the police and file a report. Fuck your "friend" he's using alcohol to try and rape a child.
When it comes to child protection laws, the law takes it very seriously. Accusation is all that is needed to press charges. Testimonials and witnesses to events are all that is needed for a conviction. These cases almost never have "evidence" so it is typically not required.
I'm a dispatcher for the police in my city. Yes, they will.
At the very least they'll investigate, which will send the signal to your friend that he needs to fucking stop. Which is fine too.
Cooperate with them. Be prepared to give names, dates and places where alcohol was being provided to a minor.
People always think they need proof of wrong doing, but you actually don't, that's not your job. Make the report and the investigation turns up proof and evidence.
This case sounds too familiar down to a tee to something I experienced. Could be paranoia but I don't believe you. Anyways dump him, you can do better than a pedophile enabler who doesn't take care of his little sister. Your daughter will be next.
The friend is back in college now that break is over and won't be back until summer. His college is 4 hours away. Should I still tell the police? Will they do anything despite it being in different places? I know they didn't have sex or anything though
My brother was found guilty of a misdemeanor charge, Corruption of a Minor.
This is because he was 22 and the girl was 15 at the time. The girls older sister saw them kissing and speculated they might have done something else. She told her dad. Her dad pressed charges. The girl denied it but her story was inconsistent on multiple retellings.
My parents spent about $25k on a good defense lawyer and he got it knocked down to a misdemeanor, not being on the sex offender registry and no jail time. 6 months community service for having a prior clean record.
This is all for just a single account of kissing.
Depends on the particular force and where the crimes occurred, also on how cooperative you are. If you try to cherry pick details to protect someone, the police will pick up on it. Just answer their questions fully and honestly.
At the very least, a report will end up being filed and the police will take a close look at the guy.
In short, just do it.
I think your case has more of a gray area since that girl was 15 and there's no proof it went beyond a kiss, but OP said there was drinking involved, and that's more serious. Also, at least OP isn't accusing him of having sex with her. I think as long as OP states the facts to the police w/o embellishment, that's the best she can do.
Dispatcher here again.
Negative on this poster, I'm at work reviewing the section of law pertaining to this right now. The law will vary by state. In my state it's called enticement of a minor and is a felony.