My girlfriend told me she slept with a guy I know. I didn't really care, just thought it was funny she sat on it for so long. I'm her third partner, and he was her second. A rebound basically and they were only together for two weeks. Seeing as I'm on 24, including prostitutes, I'm not really allowed to have an opinion on it anyway.
So today I saw him.
I couldn't help but... feel ..something. On one side I was studying him deeply, trying to figure out what she could've liked about him, and on the other hand, I kept thinking of what he has seen of her. You know, he saw her in all the ways only I'm supposed to see her now.
I'm not angry, I don't feel threatened, I don't feel jealous, I don't feel excited (yeah, not even going there) but... I don't know. I didn't think I'd feel this way. It's weird.
Anyone else know these feels?
Odd, I feel that way about my girlfriend's previous sexual partners who I've never met. But that's a combination of my own insecurity and trust issues coming to the fore and the overriding emotion I feel is anger, sadness and jealousy. So yeah, I kind of know dem feels. Completely understandable you feel that way.
Seeing as you're not mad or upset you'll probably get over it in a week or two.
>I feel that way about my girlfriend's previous sexual partners who I've never met.
I'm the complete opposite: if I've never met her past partners I couldn't care less (as long as she didn't pick up any STDs from them)
But if I know 1 guy a girl has boned I can't even kiss her. I feel like I'm better than everyone I know so I don't want their leftovers.
I know it's autistic but who gives a fuck?
it's the awkwardness of being in some sort of competition with the dude, even if it's really subliminal. That speaks to a certain amount of uncomfortableness with sex on YOUR part (nevermind hers, though that's probably even moreso). Seems pretty normal, im not entirely sure what the problem is exactly here 2bh
>My girlfriend told me she slept with a guy I know
I don't understand why she would do that unless he is a good friend or something and he might tell you.
Hell I've dated women that had kids and the ex come pick the kids up and never think a thing. Nothing. Guys I don't know don't bother me but if she banged a buddy of mine I may fuck her too but never be in a relationship with her.
It is the guys the woman is still in contact with for no real reason that she fucked before that fucks with me.
>it's the awkwardness of being in some sort of competition with the dude, even if it's really subliminal.
It's just this.
Happens to both genders too.
I had a similar same thing about one of my girlfriend's friends. She had a mad crush on him in the past, he rejected her, she moved on and they stayed friends. While we're on our first trip together he pulls an "I was so blind, if you'd give me chance". She's visibly annoyed and I ask her what's up, she mentioned it, and I just tell "Well, I like you, and I think you like me, but if you ever don't feel secure about our relationship, I'm not going to stand in your way". She just says, nah, that's she knows exactly what's going on and that she's actually kind of pissed at him.
After a few months they go back to being friends, I meet him, and even not at all considering a threat, I feel a moment of... discomfort. Like... what did she see in him? After that first meet I just went back to not giving a shit about him really.
My girlfriend had a similar thing about my best friend (who I actually was FWB's with for a while), but now they're pretty close friends.
Ultimately the past is the past, who gives a shit.
A lot of it could just be curiosity. Doesn't help that you can probably vividly imagine them fucking, since you know the guy and what he looks like.
There's a phenomenon where we wish we could insert ourselves into our lover's past and see the younger version of them or just all the versions of them that we never got to meet. And sometimes it can be a possessive feeling too, like "aw man I don't feel like I'm unique in her life" or "man that guy's seen her pussy."
But in the end, does it matter a lot to you? Lots of other women have seen your cock, the way your face looks when you come, some of your habits both in bed and out of it. I don't think that eats her up inside, so it shouldn't eat you up inside either. As long as she's not like bringing him up all the time, I don't think it'll become a problem.
This is all normal, but the lame thing is that it IS normal.
A few years ago, I made the conscious decision not to care about a person's sexual past. In fact, I embrace it. I'll hang out with a dude that fucked my girl, who cares?
It's actually freeing to be in this mindset- I learned just how unnecessary jealousy can be. People fuck each other, big deal. No point in crying over something I wasn't even involved in.