Been with my bf for about 2 months. He's awesome and i enjoy this relationship a lot.
He's so lovely and attentive, but sometimes i catch myselfe being overwhelmed by his actions. I can take a compliment. but if he tells me all this sweet stuff all the time, i sometimes can't take his words serious anymore. I'm also rather uncomfortanle (even embarassed to some extend) when he surprises me with a gift or something alike.
How insane am i exactly? This isn't normal, right?
Nah, you're not crazy. Some people can just go overboard with the affection and lovey-dovey stuff, to the point that it just feels a bit smothering. There are probably some people who would really enjoy that kind of treatment, but even though it sounds nice on paper, I think most people pretty much react like you do if a guy's acting like he's in some sappy movie.
It depends how he does it though, you didn't give a ton of description, so I don't want to jump to conclusions about the guy.
I do! And that's why i feel a bit insane. I can't really help it if i feel thay way. But it seems rather uncommon so i thought i'll ask you guys what's the matter in order to get it out of the way.
That describes it perfectly!
I guess he's rather unexperienced with having a gf so he resorts to the clichée stuff. And it just feels - weird to me. As much as i know that he's just trying to mash his feeling into words and actions and as much as i think thats adorable and wonderfull, i can't help feeling like the leading role in a nicholas sparks movie. I have been avoiding those clichée books and movies all my live. I don't like that sappy stuff. But now i'm starting to wonder about why i never liked thay kind of stuff. Every other girl would be happy as can be. I guess something is ihherently the wrong way in my case.
Oh and he tells me things like i'm the most beautiful girl in the world/ the woman of his life/ that he wants to grow old with me/ that he never knew what it means to love until he found me. And on and on.
I'm even uncomfortable writing it down.
Not that i don't feel the same about him. For my taste it's a bit soon to talk about love, but i guess, why not? I also think he's insanely handsome and i can totally see us getting old and wrinkly. But still...
And then there are the gifts. Roses, necklaces, weekend-trips. I do love the things he gives me! But the combination seems a bit - overkill
I feel bad talking about how i feel regarding his lovey-dovey-ness. I don't want to change a single thing. I just would like to know how to get over my aversion and start to really enjoy having such a wonderful bf
You're not wrong. Trust your gut. You're trying to get to know him for real, and he's just making a sales pitch, trying to tell you what he thinks you want to hear and "sweep you off your feet." It's not quite genuine.
But it doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad guy, especially if he's young and inexperienced. The best thing you can do is gently let him know that he doesn't need to try QUITE so hard, you're already on board.
But 2 months is way too soon for promises like that, and it might indicate that there's a deep incompatibility here. Give him a chance, though. Tell him he can tone it down, and see what happens.
He's young and inexperienced.
He's genuinely a very caring and wonderful person. He always was. i'm
Head ober heels for him.
Do you think he does this because he thinks i need/want this? Does he think i might change my mind about us?
I don't want to hurt his feelings. How can i low key tell him to tone it down witheout appearing cold and mean?
Could be that he's insecure and he's afraid you'll get bored if he's not always "putting on a show," it could just be that he's young and overenthusiastic and going all excited-puppy because he's finally got a girlfriend he really likes. For the most part, it doesn't have to be a bad thing, but you're right that it IS too soon for all the "woman of my life" talk, and making big statements about the future.
To be honest, he might feel a little bit hurt/embarrassed no matter how sensitively you bring it up. But the most important thing that makes a relationship healthy, in the long run, is that you both have to be able to just talk honestly about the way you feel. So start a conversation about it, you can explain the way you feel pretty much exactly as you did in this thread. None of it sounds cold or mean at all.
That just might be the reason. He was that lanky awkward teen at school and i don't exactly know how popular he was with the ladies. He definitely grew out of his lanky body but his confidence migt need some more time to grow into it. He's rather shy.
I really don't want him to feel bad about it! Could i also just get over myselfe and give him some time to realize that i'm not going anywhere and that i like him for him and don't need to constantly be wooed? I have a guttfeeling that saying something would really crush him. And it's not like i can't live with how things are. I was just wondering why i feel this way to begin
Well here's the thing though - if he keeps talking about plans for the future like that, and you just "play along" even though you're not sure you feel that way yet (which, at two months, is normal) you'd kinda be leading him on. So really, the conversation's got to come up one way or another.
I really don't think it'll be a big deal, if you just talk about it the way you are in this thread. Like I said he might feel a little embarrassed, but probably he'll understand and the relationship will end up stronger for it.
Oh, i'm very ok with the concept behinde his words. I just struggle to take them serious and be enthusiastic after he has told me every possible cheesy thing day after day. I'm not leading him on. If i could decide here and now i would wish to get the whole clichée package. I just would like him to just shut his mouth and enjoy the moment for once.
Then next time he's doing that, just tell him "shut up" like it's playful. Or find a different way to keep his mouth occupied, so he can't talk so much. It really doesn't have to be a big serious conversation. Just be real
Guy should have had better judgement and found a girl that actually isn't deadhearted and actually appreciates romance.
You sicken me.