Last year I was "force" to have sex (while sleeping) I went to the police 9 months after (my uni told me to do so) I put a complaint, and now (around 7 months later) are calling witnesses and telling that they don't believe me, the uni doesnt' believe me either (it happened in a uni residence)
What should I do? I'm really tired, can I cancel the complaint so they don't keep going?
I was knew to the country and I didn't want to get into trouble, plus I have anxiety and it's really difficult to me to talk to people, don't say talk about every detail of that with a police I don't know.
I know that that's the reason why they don't believe (even when you can wait up to 9 years), I actually went because he started to make my life impossible and the uni stuff told me I should go to the police
I was sleeping when one guy got into my room and start touching me and *stuff*, after that he tried to get me drunk for having sex, I said no to him a lot of time and he got mad at me.
My bf came to visit me and he got supermad and start making up stuff trying to get me kicked up from the uni, I told the uni people that he was lying and why, then they told me to go to the police.
Now noone believe me, the uni kickme out of the residence calling me a liar, and the police told the guy they don't believe me, now the guy is telling the police to call everyone I know (even if knew them half year after this happened) and getting me into more trouble and spread the stuff everywhere (which obviously i don't want, only 2 persons knows about what happened)
So, I just don't wanna more people knowing about that, when they don't believe from the start, it's like i'm suffering for nothing
You should get super mad at them for not believing you. Lets assume you speak the truth! You have a reason to be mad. I would especially do my best to cnvince them you speak the truth because they might think you filed a false rape charge, which could be legal trouble!
I am super mad, but i feel like I have nothing to do for them to believe me, because I didn't go to the doctor so I don't have medical evidence, the only thing I "have" is when I talked to my psicologyst months before putting the complaint, and a message conversation.
I also have depression and I can't cope with all of this, I just think it's unfair and I want it to forget about it
>9 months later
That's where you fucked up. There is almost 0 percent chance they will be able to do anything now unless someone recorded it or something. Hell, depending the person who raped you can now counter-sue for defamation of character (maybe, slim chance). Here's some pro-tips for next time:
1. Fight back: scream, punch, kick, ect. at least put up a fight. Get a ccl if you can, I got my little sister a carry pistol for her birthday.
2. Report immediately: ever see the show 48 hours? 75% of cases with no leads within 48 hours go cold, you waited 9 months.
The sad truth is I know you're not going to heed any of this advice because you're a woman. and they never fucking listen then get mad when 'rape culture happens' and the rapist walks free to do this shit again.
Then the sad truth is you're going to have to live with the fact you allowed yourself to get raped without a fight and allowed your rapist walk free to repeat his crimes. Seems a lot worse, but women tend to focus on the short term anyway.
the guy is going to leave the country in 6 months, there is no even date for the trial yet, so, at the end is not going to be trial, they are going to make me feel like shit and he's going to be free anyway
Last guy who tried that I just acted like I was gonna go down and I put a knife to his balls and told him to shove off. Now that I'm an adult I additionally carry a four barreled derringer. I think it's cute and heavy. But yeah, next time get a rape lot done. You should be able to get one for home use. Reality is that they usually don't use it, but it sure does back your story up and you can pay for the testing if it starts to turn in their favor.
>Lets stranger inside room
>Lets stranger get her drunk
>Doesn't call security or cops
>Goes to sleep knowing a stranger is in her room
>Doesn't fight back
>Doesn't know if she could call it "force"
>Files 9 months later
>Wants to drop charges
Come the fuck on, /adv/. How fucking deluded are you? I could give a fuck less if OP thinks she got raped for being a fucking whore, but you /adv/? You people make me fucking sick. You naive fucks.
Lets stranger inside room
>he sneaked into my room
Lets stranger get her drunk
>he tried, not got me drunk
Doesn't call security or cops
>here there is no security
Goes to sleep knowing a stranger is in her room
>he came to my room when i was sleeping
Wants to drop charges
>because the uni and the guy are ruining my life
they didnt believe when i said it was 9 months ago, but yeah, i have people that have seen him touching me without consent, i have messages but they don't even wan't to see it because he is a nice guy and haven't have any problem before?? (which isn't true btw) not fair
>i have people that have seen him touching me without consent
Again, you didn't ask for help.
>Guy has clean slate
>here there is no security
Do you know what 911 is?
>sneaked into room
How exactly does someone "sneak" into your room and you don't consider it breaking and entering. Again, a crime that involves the cops.
>Doesn't fight back
I see you didn't refute this.
>Again, no evidence
Damn, OP. You sure got me convinced.
Hey, you were sexually assaulted. There's no way you can stop the investigation. However I think you should continue to press charges. Focus on this post here love, because I am actally trying to help you out. What happened to you was 100% not your fault.
The guy who did it may have known who you were. He probably knew that you were new to this country, and he could easily take advtange of your lack of understanding.
I just want to tell you, you did everything you could to stop him. Becoming "frozen" and unable to move is very common for victims of sexual assault. You were scared and probably thinking how could this even be happening right now.
Its okay, just talk to the police and keep telling them exactly what happened. He may get away with it, but trust me when I say this people who do things like what he did are not 1 time offenders they are multiple offenders, so many next time he does something worse and a girl speaks out what you said will be on record against him it will be more likely to prosecute.
However I suggest you continue to go through with your story to the police and if they press charges. You should take witness against him. I'm not sure how long you've been in America, but one of the great things about this country is that justice can be served. I know you are probably angry and upset and justice wont cure it all the way but it will be a very big start.
I don't get how someone sneaks into your room and then tried to get you drunk. How does an intruder try to get someone drunk?
911 is an American thing. I think it's obvious op isn't American.
I'm not trying to getting you convinced I just want to explain myself, as I said i was in the country for about a week and I didn't want to get into trouble, plus I have big social anxiety which makes me really difficult talk to people (and that includes police, and doctors for a check up after that happens, and even for really fighting back), and no, there's no evidence because I didn't went to the hospital
English is not my 1st language so maybe the word "sneak" isn't correct
When he tried to getting me drunk wasn't that day, sorry I explained myself badly
thank you for your kindness, I'm not in America actually, and I know police it's trying to get his job done, but they have been laughing about "how fake this should be" while talking with the university staff, and I don't want more people involved. I think I'll go to talk with them, so I can take a decision
>Almost like she has a history of being less than honest
yea, sure, oh my great fame of lying in a country where nobody knows me. Has nothing to do that the guy is a manipulative lying shit who btw has problems with everyone who knows him except the autorities. I can't wait until he's deported for working without a working visa
LOL, so the guy who raped her or proceeded to rape her later on tried to her drunk.
>either lying and she knew him beforehand
>didn't call cops on guy that raped her when he tried to get her drunk after in another day
Top fucking keko.
Honestly 4chan isn't the place to get advice for this, op. If what you're saying is true, then I truly feel bad for you. Unfortunately it sounds like there isn't a whole lot you can do, as unjust as that is.
Maybe hire someone to kick the shit out of him?
Unfortunately, no, you cannot stop the investigation at this point. They will come up with nothing, and it is possible people will think you're a liar if he has a better reputation or is more popular than you are. Guys think rape accusations are always a death sentence but it really is based on who has better social standing. If he's very popular, he can just be like "oh yeah haha you know, crazy bitches all making false rape claims" and when he isn't convicted, they'll assume he lied. Same as when a woman falsely accuses a man of rape and says "oh yeah he raped me, the police are corrupt he'll never get convicted" and he is vilified even though he is proven not guilty. As someone else said, putting in the report is somewhat worth it because rapists always do it again and if that future person reports, eventually they will theoretically be caught.
I feel for you. I've actually been in that place (unlike many posters in this thread) and I know how hard it truly is to report. I also hate when people say "you should have fought, if you didnt fight you werent raped" as if trying to fight would definitely prevent it. In my situation, I got beat nearly to death because I tried to fight him and he was a foot taller and 90 lbs more than me. Unless you had a clear shot at attacking his balls, you never stood a chance vs a man.
Either way posting about it on 4chan is a bad idea. It's male dominated and even if you had the most clear-cut objective violent rape, someone will still be saying you wanted it and made it up. Don't feel like to be a victim you had to be the "perfect" victim who does everything right. It's impossible to understand if you've never experienced it so people will say unintentionally ignorant things.
Yeah, you can.
Kill yourself if you actually believe this. If you don't consent to sex, it's rape. I'm not entirely convinced consenting to drunk sex is rape personally, but someone asleep or passed out LITERALLY cannot consent. In any situation where you clearly verbally express that you are uninterested in having sex with them, like saying "no", it is sexual assault BY DEFINITION if they continue. Whether you take your chances fighting someone biologically bigger and stronger than you is irrelevant.
Don't make shit up anon, especially when it comes to the law. Active consent is a common law principle in most of the states. It's also codified into the Canadian Criminal Code
273.2 It is not a defence to a charge under section 271, 272 or 273 that the accused believed that the complainant consented to the activity that forms the subject-matter of the charge, where
(a) the accused’s belief arose from the accused’s
(i) self-induced intoxication, or
(ii) recklessness or wilful blindness; or
(b) the accused did not take reasonable steps, in the circumstances known to the accused at the time, to ascertain that the complainant was consenting.
You didn't ask about evidence, you were just giving an improper legal definition of rape.
Also, I don't think you understand what hearsay is. If she fills out an affidavit, then her story becomes testimony. Hearsay is secondhand oral evidence (ie Person X told me Y, therefore the Court must accept that Y is true)
I'm confused. This stranger snuck into your room, penetrated you and tried to get you drunk for sex after the sexual assault already happened? At which point you told him no?
You also said that the boyfriend was making things up to get you kicked out of Uni, but before you were evicted the police had already told this Stranger that they didn't believe your story. But now they're calling witnesses seven months later? And those witnesses(or the police) are calling you a liar again?
>his stranger snuck into your room, penetrated you and tried to get you drunk for sex after the sexual assault already happened?
Yes, (other day, I don't know if that's clear)
>At which point you told him no?
when i could react i said him to stop and to get out of my room
>You also said that the boyfriend was making things up to get you kicked out of Uni, but before you were evicted the police had already told this Stranger that they didn't believe your story
after times of me saying him NO to sex, he tried to make that the uni kicked me out, when things got "serious" with this, I explain the uni why he wanted me out and why he was lying, they told me to go to the police, I went and give my version. Then I got a call from the uni, they talked with the police, noone believes me, and I need to move out. Now, 7 months later, one friend who was living in the residence (which have no sense because he arrived to the residence 6 months after that happen) called me because he received a letter that tomorrow has to testify as witnesses (I actually though the case was closed or something), but a common friend with the *guy* has told him that the *guy* 1_lied to the police (i fucking hope he got cought for that), 2_the police told him they believe him and not me
hah I wish it was spain, there's a law that when you put a complaint like that, they put the man in jail for a night, make a quick trial and you have a lot of probabilities to win the case
It's in luxembourg