Can a relationship with a compulsive liar work out?
Dated this girl for 4 years, big lies and small lies everywhere, made up stories, made up shit, telling me she did stuff when she did not, and vice versa, just a cluster fuck of meaningless lies, some lies had truth to them some were completely made up.
Either way after all this time i suggested she may have a compulsive lying disorder, she actaully seemed pretty happy to finally figure out what the fuck made her lie about such stupid shit. She claims she is working on it and right now she is literally doing whatever i say and trying to answer and be honest with everything.
The problem is i don't trust her, she's lied to me so much i just can't trust that she really is being honest this time. She's never cheated or done anything bad, only ever lied about times before she knew me.
I guess i worry for the future, i'd love to stay with her but hate if our relationship revolves around me constantly questioning and checking on her to catch out her stupid lies. Can a relationship like this work?
I'd rather not give out details because that's when the thread turns into a 5 hour thing of explaining every tiny detail of each lie and lie detector love professionals come in with their professional as always "DUMP HER" advice.
The thing is she has only ever lied about her past, and as much as i hate her for this stupid shit, sometimes i feel happy with her, and push it aside, she's never done anything whilst in a relationship with me (like 95% confident here) I just feel if i can push aside that she may be bullshitting about her past whilst i am with her things can be okay.
OP I've got a story you don't want to hear.
Dated a compulsive liar for almost 6 years. she had to compulsively lie to her verbally abusive dad just to leave the house (at age 20) so as you can imagine lying became a very normal part of her life. she's kept secrets, lied about where she was or who she was spending time with, sometimes even little things, and then finally the big thing.
she came out as gay to me literally yesterday. I made a thread about it here. she has never had the same sexual feelings for me as she does girls, she was hoping that I could love her without making sex a big deal, but that isn't what works for me. I need someone who feels the same way, and she lied about that too.
so if you want some good advice, back the fuck away and never talk to this girl again before you get your whole soul crushed.
If she gets a therapist or joins a therapy group then she could slow the roll on the lying and thing could work out fine. Thing is you would have to go with her to such meeting to know for sure that she goes through with it. You would have to be stern, but not mean. This would be a major investment or time, emotion and trust if you want her to improve. Otherwise she'll stay a liar and over time you'll either get sick of it or get used to and not take her seriously about anything anymore.
because she is literally gay, and also not the kind of person that would enjoy threesomes (or not that I know of). I wouldn't mind it, but if she needed that to truly get her rocks off, I'd feel inadequate as fuck.
I really don't know what to make of it, I don't know where it will go. right now she's figuring out if she can be sexually satisfied with me and not a girl.
Anyway I'm not here to hijack OPs thread, maybe I'll make another one as the situation progresses.
Sorry to hear your story.
The problem is we are not 100% sure she is a compulsive liar. She claims now she realizes she can try to work on it, like this anon suggests >>16680213
We already agreed to see a therapist. But of course if she can just try really hard to stop lying is she even a compulsive liar? Fuck if i knows, she just fits a lot of the symptoms and lies about stupid shit and will face a lie detector test knowing damn well it'l call her a liar like an idiot.
I guess the reason i am telling myself it's fine so far is because it's all about the past, i am pretty confident she's not cheating or not planning to betray me with anything other than made up stories about her past.