I've been online dating for awhile and went on dates with several different girls. All but 1 cut contact with me immediately after the first date. The other friend zoned me but its all good since she turned out to be cooler than the others even as just a friend. And I'm not orbiting her fyi. I completely get that rejection is inevitable and a part of life, but it really pisses me off how bitchy and passive aggressive it is to just ignore someone. I feel like each of these girls painted me up to be the guy they wanted to meet beforehand, and upon finding out that I'm not prince charming but a normal guy tossed me out like trash. I keep thinking the next one is going to be cool and mature enough to realize that yeah, the first time meeting someone from online is going to be a bit awkward. But no, they all expect sparks to fly right off the bat like some cheesy romance novel. It just pisses me off how they text me first every day until we meet and then never talk to me again. Or even more annoying, I'll just say hey after a few days of not hearing from them and they give me a long-winded reply that's something like 'hey, sorry, I've been meaning to text you back but I've just been so busy with this and this and that and its been hectic.' If you don't want to talk to me that's one thing, fine, but lying really pisses me off. They'll say that and go back to not talking to me anymore right after, and meanwhile post stuff on Facebook and Snapchat all day. Women really think we're retarded.
I keep moving on despite this, sometimes talking to 4 new girls yet still i am pissed off over one. Its just really discouraging and makes me really pessimistic like why bother with the next one. Sure, I realize there's something I need to change, but how can I figure it out if its going to end up the same with every chick?
You need to try and get into her pants, man.
When a girl meets a guy, she needs to know that you just "get it", and that you understand that she is there to eventually have sweaty hot sex with necking and stuff.
If youre just walking around being a polite tool, she is just wasting her time with some phony who is trying to convince himself that he wants to fuck the shit out of her, when you dont sound like you are prepared for this sort of relationship.
It is discouraging to everyone involved in a date that doesn't turn out as they'd hope, not just you.
Having to tell someone "sorry not interested" is not pleasant for most people, because most people realize that it's going to hurt that person's feelings. For women, there's also a pretty good chance that it will also set them up as the target for some self-entitled dickwad's rage.
And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect that you're going to be very attracted to the person that you want to be with when you meet them. Unless they have demonstrated that they are a horrible person, I'm willing to go on a second date with most women because people get nervous on the first date. The reality though is that the people who have ended up as long term partners are women who I clicked with really well when I met them.
So here's a suggestion: give people a break and stop acting like an angry child who thinks that everything is supposed to be the way you want it to be.
I am giving then a break. Last date didn't stopped texting me, I leave her alone for over a week. Say hey just to see how she's doing, still doesn't bother to reply. I leave her alone. I was never annoying in the first place. It's shittier to ignore someone altogether than reject.
just stop trying faggot men are disposable to women they can toy with you all they want because men are desperate and she has hundreds of guys waiting in line ready to date her.
I totally get what you're saying.
That's why I've started treating girls like that: the same way they treat us!
And it's rather enjoyable to see the pain in their eyes when you do it to them.
this they don't even see men as human beings. if you don't believe me try showing a female how you feel in the inside and open up to her emotionally. Watch how quickly she run at the sign of weakness.
Wow man, the replies here.
How do you stop being angry at people who decide they don't want to pursue a relationship with you? Thats fucking simple.
If they don't want to be in a relationship with you, they aren't worth your time and energy. You aren't auditioning for the role of boyfriend. Dating requires both people to be interested. If both people are not interested, then starting a relationship is impossible.
As for your frustration about their methods, look at it from their perspective. Every time they try to tell a guy they're not interested, he goes on a rant ranging from "youre such a disgusting slut" to "fucking prude, why dont you like me im amazing". They want to avoid that. If the majority of men weren't so bad at handling rejection, they would be able to say they're not interested, without being attacked 9/10 times.
Let it go. If they don't want you, then you're wasting your time and energy pursuing them. Keep going on dates, and searching for someone who likes you as much as you like them, and don't worry about the rest.
That's pretty fucking sad a lot of men would do that. I just want a little feedback you know? I'm wouldn't be so offended if they didn't act so into me before meeting only to act like I don't exist after.
Legit reply. I never know when someones going to go ape over some sound advice.
People change their minds man. Everyone has their own criteria for a partner, sometimes what seems good over the internet turns into no chemistry in person.
If you just want feedback, you could ask them for that when they cut contact. I would imagine you would be more likely to get a response if you say it like "it seems like you're not interested in a second date, that's fine, but could you tell me why? I'd really like to have some positive feedback."
Just go onto the next.
It's called the "shotgun method" keep approaching girls and eventually one will stick. The world it just too big and there many girls who will want you and it is a waste of time to worry about the ones who don't ...
I was like you when I was younger.. a good way to cure it is to just approach a ton of girls.. and just not are about the outcome... who cares what they think... You want a girl who wants you and there are many out there..
First of all, you shouldn't take rejection personally. She just wasn't buying whatever you were selling. I'm talking to a girl right now who's pretty immature and she texts me 1 word and then doesn't reply for a whole day. She's already gotten strike 3 so I'm just not gonna keep bothering with her cause interacting with her feels like a chore.
You went on a date and they decided you weren't incompatible. The thing with women is, they're not going to be as straightforward as you expect them to be. That's just not how women are raised to be, they have to deal with guys a lot (especially if they're hot) so if she doesn't respond, literally just move on. It sounds tough and you'll take it personally at first but seriously if they don't want to invest time with you in the first place is that someone you want to be getting into a relationship with? A one sided fling where you're the one who's always making plans?
You want to be with someone who is as eager and excited to hang out with you as you are. If after 2/3 messages they're flaking on you, just delete their number/info, and forget it. No need to get mad about it.