>>16678396 Im not sure. Therapy would be my first guess but I'm willing to bet he wouldn't take any of their suggestions to heart. If he had a strong figure in his life, like an older brother, who was generally worried about his health perhaps he could have been taught the social cues he didn't grasp. I think his father was just too busy.
Literally anything. From the excerpts I read online of this kid's extended suicide note/manifesto, he didn't even really try to make friends or be with women. He was too shy to make the approach, he just hoped that other people would approach him, make the first move, and break him out of his shell.
And he never got out of that shyness, he never manned up and broke out of his own shell. He just kept waiting, and eventually, instead of hoping that people would befriend him, he started getting angry that they weren't. It just never occurred to him that he actually had to make an effort, to put himself out there. He expected to just have it all handed to him without even having to ask.
You want to know something funny? A lot of my friends were in the same year as Elliot Roger. I was going to crash with them the same weekend he went on his shooting spree. They lived literally down the street where it happened (maybe 50 feet away), and one of them actually got shot in the ass (he lived). All of us are pretty nerdy, pretty introverted, were the kind of kids that would play magic the gathering, dominion, and WoW, and constantly surf the net (including 4chan, something awful, and the like). Not a single one of us knew who the fuck Elliot Roger was because he never fucking tried.
It's not that fucking hard, especially in UC Santa Barbara of all fucking places.
You literally just have to walk in to almost any random party, say "what's up", and bring some booze and people will love you.
>>16678518 I was that guy that "everyone loved" at the parties. I'm a 28 year old virgin. Don't bullshit people on this site. They'll be glad to take your alcohol and say "thanks bro" but then after that you're fucking invisible just like you'd be normally.
That's more on you for not growing and apparently being content to be a silent beer dispenser.
I was cripplingly shy, growing up. Hit 17/18 decided fuck it and that I'd start to change. Committed myself to it my last year of high school by taking baby steps (even just asking questions in class). Started trying to fix my posture. Started trying to maintain eye contact. Hit college and just started introducing myself to everyone that sat near me. Started conversations with professors during class discussions. Started going to parties. Started introducing myself to whoever and make conversations. Started making more and more friends.
Even so It wasn't until I hit 22 that I broke out of my shell really, even then I was still shy. 23 I met a girl, took a massive chance with her, got my first kiss, and then shut down, but said fuck it, because taking that risk felt way better than being trapped inside myself. I lost all semblance of shyness and all that socialization shit suddenly became easy.
A few months later I started dating at 24. Had sex for the first time.
First girlfriend at 26.
One solitary action may not instantly change your world, but one single action is ALWAYS the first step. You have to make sure you take the second, then the third, and so on and so on 'til you get there, instead of sitting back on your ass whining about why it's too hard.
This thread is a bunch of faggot know it alls thinking they know everything about this person based off a fraction of his life, one event, be it a major one. I'm not even trying to stick up for this guy it's just that fucking absurd I feel compelled to say something in hopes you'll maybe gain some insight about yourselves and stop making dumb ass threads.
>>16678396 He could have stopped being a little bitch who rolls around in self pity and also misanthropic delusions of grandeur, and actually made a fucking effort to improve his social situation.
I read through his manifesto. He was truly a little fucking shit. His attempts to get a gf literally amounted to - sitting outside in a public place, alone, wearing an ARMANI shirt, waiting for the hot white blonde goddess he surely deserved to come and talk to him - saying "hi" to one girl on campus who was walking past him, once
>>16678501 Not even college aged women get popular by just sitting alone at a corner and loathing everyone around them and alienating the few friends they have through being total cunts though. You actually have to interact with people and make an effort and act nice and cheerful in order to have a social circle, which Elliot didn't grasp at all.
>>16678771 Do you understand that Rodger actually wrote a really long manifesto where he went over his life and his thoughts and motives, in detail? He really tried to explain himself. His motives are absolute garbage. You can see that he believes that though his writing, people will see that he was in the right, but he's an entitled, spoiled little shit whining about nothing and rolling around in insane self-pity. He literally does not make an effort as he thinks that since his dad is white and connected, women should just naturally flock to him as such is his right.
Read his words, you'll lose all sympathy for the little fucktard.
In his manifest.. around 15? He got wrecked by that one girl who made him feel so small when she lashed out at him. He never had a girl rip into him before. That completely changed his view of woman to scared of rejection and waiting for a woman to approach him and fall deeply in love with him because of his looks and Armani clothes? Da fuk...
if he picked up a copy of The Game or seek out PUA tactics. He coulda been drowning in vapid california rich girl pussy. Instead he just sat around waiting for things to happen to him.. instead of making an effort. that faggot probably never picked up a dumbbell once. Good riddance.
>>16678959 This behavior is so weird for a child. Little boys, even spoiled little brats like elliot, are rarely socialized to clam up the moment something as innocuous as this happens. I've experienced "school yard bullying" if that's what you can call this as well, and I've seen it happen, but even as shy as I was I would never have frozen up to the point of needing to be asked if I was okay. And the worst part about it is that I believe it actually happened. I don't think he embellished this reaction at all. He was honestly, truly terrified of women with any sort of social, even physical advantage over him, but not terrified in the way that you might be terrified of a bully, but terrified in the way you might be of a snarling dog. I think that persisted for long enough that he learned they can't actually physically hurt him, but the terror never went away. I'm starting to wonder if his mom abused him from a VERY young age, to the point that he couldn't consciously remember it but retained that fear into childhood
>>16678959 Thats exactly the moment. He wanted a girl and feared them. Also when he was at the millionaire's party.. again with the "This is exactly where I belong..." and then again some girl disrespects him by flirting with someone other than him. Guy was a social misfit, he just expected things to be handed to him.. like allot of this generation.
>>16678986 Yah I feel bad for the parents. They apparently noticed something was wrong and got him some psychiatric help and kind of hired support friend and stuff but he was too deep in the vortex of delusional grandeur and fierce loathing of everyone around him, it was too little too late. It seems like they should have gotten him a shrink at age 7 or such, but just assumed that he was shy and would grow out of it, or something
>>16678974 But he doesn't fear women later on. He feels fierce anger much more than insecurity and fear.
>>16679022 >But he doesn't fear women later on. He feels fierce anger much more than insecurity and fear.
I think that anger stems from fear. People hate what they don't understand, and not only did he not understand women, he didn't understand why he was so afraid of them. That's probably why he never approached literally anyone, he was .terrified. of them and that terror mutated into hate
been born to a conservative family who made him responsible for his actions and instilled work ethic, with parents who didnt spoil him with material goods to alleviate their guilt for never spending time with him
>>16679019 > he just expected things to be handed to him born to millionaire liberal hollywood director family, parents divorced at young age and spoiled him rotten to compensate for their shit parenting. hmm, didnt see that coming
Killed/injured about 10 people before killing himself. His original intent was to go to the "most popular" sorority house at his university and kill every girl there for not being attracted to him or somehow psychically aware of his desires
And he killed his roommates for no reason, even though they were pretty nice to him. So his big grandiose "plan" all came up to absolute shit. He didn't even follow his own fucked-up principles, he just gave up and went for the easiest available targets. Truly, deeply pathetic, in a uniquely unsympathetic way, from his childhood to the day he died
What the fuck ? Why didn't my comment get posted ?
Anyway , if his parents never divorced , and he had some relationship with them (granted the way he writes them his dad is a passive asshole and mom a retard ), and if he wasn't sexually abused from the step mom that married his dad , he probably wouldn't be as retarded .
>>16679220 >(granted the way he writes them his dad is a passive asshole and mom a retard ),
To be fair, he was so far down the rabbit hole, you can't trust anything he says.
My oldest friend has recently gone on some weird-ass tired where he's systematically took steps to fuck up his life.
It started small. He dropped out of school. Then moved out to another college campus to bum around with some friends. Then he became a drug dealer, convinced his girlfriend to take out student loans to get back his repo'd car--which was more expensive than the car was worth, lived with her and her parents and convinced his dad to pay for him to go back to school, quit halfway through to make some quick cash doing a shady job in the middle of nowhere for two months--during which his GF's best friend died, and to which he just said, eh she'll tough it out, got broken up with his girlfriend; because that was finally the last straw, then proceeded to blame her GF's mother for poisoning her, then blackmailed his girlfriend to try and get her to take him back, then blamed her for "lieing" to him about why they broke up when he found out she wanted to break up without her mom saying anything, then blamed his dad for not supporting him a decade ago when he took interest in something and didn't follow through. He's now moved out to a foreign country where drugs are ready available and laws are lax.
I know his dad. I grew up with his family. My girlfriend never met them, but from the way he talked about them, she thought they were all bat shit insane and terrible parents. Truth is he grew up in a normal middle class family with parents who were decent people that, while not without their quirks, tried their best and always loved and supported him in their own way.
My friend is nowhere near Elliot Roger levels, but still too far down the rabbit hole to take any responsibility for anything.
>>16679322 Yeah some people just deal with pain through developing self-destructing behaviour, I guess. I really feel bad for both the parents of your friend and Rodger. We're all human, and parents try their best.
>>16679270 Throughout the manifesto it seems that the parents were trying to do something earlier, got him hired friends and whatnot but just didn't quite know what to do, or didn't have the determination to get him committed or whatever. He was so deep in the "the world is unfair and against me" mindset that help didn't quite reach him through the contempt
The second your shit spills over in to you starting to harm/kill other people, you pretty much lose all sympathy, and all rights.
I'm this dude >>16678518 and I can say that if that bullet had hit my friend just a few inches from where it did, instead of laughing about how he got shot in the ass, I'd be pretty pissed off. The same could be said of my family if hadn't flaked and been there, like I was going to be, and gotten shot.
You're not seeing it because you're sitting back from your arm chair and this shit ain't real to you.
>>16679399 It's the combination of him being so condescending and hostile and fucking obnoxious and superior about everything, while also being a sad loser and ending up harming completely innocent people.
You act like at 17/18 you made the commitment to become sociable all by yourself. Usually life changes are motivated by outside influence.
Even if you did make the decision all on your own, you got lucky on your socialization attempts. If some one with crippling social phobia tried to initiate a conversation with some one else and was flat out ignored, it would be devistating.
>>16679019 >>16679049 >Guy was a social misfit, he just expected things to be handed to him.. like allot of this generation. >like allot of this generation >born to millionaire liberal hollywood director family, parents divorced at young age and spoiled him rotten to compensate for their shit parenting
lol no. it's literally only white teenage boys who get away with this horseshit. good riddance.
He was a product of his environment The animosity comes from general frustration with a society that raises little boys to believe they're entitled to poon. In a different world, his sickness would have taken a different outlet. But he was raised in a world where boys are taught that it's okay to show girls you have a crush on them by pulling their hair or pushing them on the playground, and that "real men" are aggressive and assertive. He literally said he wanted to punish women for not giving him what he wanted. And that is scarily enough a sentiment shared by MANY men, you can see it here on /adv/, you see it boldly in /r9k/, or in /fit/ or /pol/. Young men think exactly the way Rodger's did, they just don't try to shoot up sorority houses. Some of them just settle for assaulting women or stabbing them to death.
I changed because I was tired of the way I was. The same way I decided to stop my depression because I was tired of it wrecking my life (and actually, that girl I mentioned taking a chance on, it was after I'd stopped being depressed but still sat in a grey place. She was the one who reminded of how bright and vibrant the world could be and truly inspired me with her story. Over the course of a year of being her friend, that inspiration grew to more)
And yes, I made attempts, as in plural.
I for sure got shut down a lot times; Many, many more times than I succeeded.
I still remember the very first time I tried to ask out a girl in college. I stumbled over every word and felt my ears burning so red I thought they were on fire. I still remember how she struggled not to burst out laughing, and how much like an idiot I felt. I can tell you exactly where I was, when it was, even what she was wearing. It's one of those memories that's just seared in to my mind almost a decade alter. Now it's a funny memory, but back then it was more like "seriously? You fucking idiot. Why the fuck did you do that?". But my next thought was, "Ok calm down, you'll do better next time". And next time I still failed, but I was better.
Like I said, the event that ultimately became the breaking point where it all came together wasn't a success, it was a failure. A failure that left me crushed and confused for weeks/months after, but that I recovered and took absolute confidence and courage from, because I had the resolve to treat it all as things to learn from; and from that moment on I learned that ultimately regret hurt much, much more than totally putting yourself out there, and totally failing.
>>16679533 The pain of regret is worse than the pain of failure, I can attest to that.
Not the same guy you're responding to by the way, but your story reminds me a lot of myself. I was painfully shy during middle school and high school. Didn't have hardly any friends or any experiences with girls. Started working on getting better at 18 and have made good progress (20 now). Still haven't done anything with girls, haven't really tried yet. But I've got a job, am going to community college, and have made some cool friends. Might not seem like a lot to most people, but it's a big accomplishment for me. I'm going to start pushing myself to get better with girls soon, thats the next hurdle.
It sucks being so far behind everybody else socially, but better late than never. Those cringe worthy, awkward moments in the beginning are completely worth it in the end I'm sure.
I've got a pretty rock solid foundation of absolute self-confidence and humility, and it comes from having painstakingly built myself up brick by brick.
Everything I've done that made me cringe, are all things I've learned from and used to improve myself. Even if my self-confidence ever wavers (which it rarely does), I always believe in the lessons I've painstakingly learned, and know from experience that as long as I keep trying, it's all things that make me grow.
Just keep going. Hopefully it takes you less time to get to where you want than it did me, but even if it does, at least know it's always possible if you keep at it.
>>16679489 Pretty tired of people acting as though the problem is only with men being raised to think they're "entitled" to sex. It's also that men are raised in a society that shames men for not being sexually active and objectifies men by conflating their sexual & romantic success with their entire worth as people. It's basically the inverse of calling sexual active young women "sluts", and it's not OK, it hurts thousands (maybe millions) of people and leads to some of them lashing out violently.
>>16679700 Great world yeah? Women are shamed for having sex, men are shamed for not having sex. Pretty sure that's societies way of saying we just shouldn't have people anymore. Men can all go fuck each other instead, women stay abstinent so no more children are produced. I mean that's the only way to let men have a lot of sex while keeping women pure, right?
>>16679877 I think he was more of a weird mix between a psychologist and a social support person, you know, someone to just leave the house with and do normal people stuff, hang around, talk about things.
>It seems like they should have gotten him a shrink at age 7 or such
Some people just can't be fixed, man. A psychiatrist is not a magician. You have to actually want help, in order for the therapy to mean anything. And I don't think Elliot ever felt that HE was the one who needed to change. It was the rest of the world that needed to re-arrange itself in order to make him happy.
You can see the same fucked-up attitude all over /r9k/, it's like a disease, there's absolutely nothing you can say to get through to them. They don't want to hear it. They're entitled to love and affection, they're not getting it, and this is a grave injustice inflicted on them by the entire human population.
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