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>23yo male here, with a bit older gf
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>23yo male here, with a bit older gf
>2 years into relationship now, but don't live together

hey /adv/, been feeling down lately, i guess i'm just thinking too much.
Here's some stuff i can't get over with, how do i deal with this shit. I

How do you deal with the fact that your gf had a few relationships before her, the fact that she had dicks in her.
from >>16669400
Why can't my gf seek only contact with her gender? I can't deal with the fact that she has male friends. Can't deal the fact that she talks with her ex (they don't talk per se, they do congratulate each other on special events like christmass and stuff), i asked her to remove him from fb, gave me vague answers, but didn't remove him. It just bothers me, even tho i know she won't have anything with him, can't she just cut contacts?

Also can't get over the fact that one day, she might have a crush on someone. And/or is fantasizing on someone.
She watches porn, tho not regularly, she watches it like once a month. She watched bukake and some weird groupie stuff..

She never gave any thought to sexual satisfaction, she masturbates daily, and sometimes it's a bother because i'd like to do it but she's not really that into it. She still has sex, but just isn't so enthusiastic about it... I've talked about it with her, and she stopped doing that, but she still masturbates reguralrly. I just get pissed cus i'm pretysure she can proly think her ex or whoever is banging her.
I just dunno, i can't accept the fact that women are such liars, and live a blissful life...
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>>16677897
you're just being insecure to the point of extremism.

Don't be in a relationship if your head isn't right for one.
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>>16677937
ofc i'm insecure, i'd like to trust her, but i can't trust someone that watches porn and keeps his browser history hidden.
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bump? :/
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>>16677948
probably keeps it a secret because you'd judge her for it.

You're insecure in yourself so you don't like her watching porn; it's simple really. Deal with your shit or don't trust her. Rip.
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>>16677983
Yeah, she proly doesn't want me to see her history.
Still i'm ok with that, i just can't deal with the fact that she's proly pleasuring herself thinking of someone else..
wtf brain
>>
Do i have a mental issue or something..
Is it normal for your so to have watch porn?
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>>16677897

Not that it matters, how many sexual partners has she had and how many have you had?

Are you more concerned about the sex or just the fact that she has dated before you?

How old is she?
>>
Damn son, do you browse /r9k/? Your post makes me think you could be a regular there.
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>>16678018
I'm her 5th. She's the only one i've had sex with.
I'm more concerned about sex, i think dating is fine, and i find it romantic, but meh.

She's 28yo, and i know girls at that age usually have more partners, but idk..
>>
sounds like youre filler material OP, i doubt she sees a long term future with you. if she's disrespectful enough to not remove her ex on facebook and still keep in occasional contact with him, she's not 100% in to you. is that the answer you were looking for? sounds like you already knew this but just didnt want to admit it. if you really like her have a serious talk with her about these concerns, otherwise just stop investing yourself so much in the relationship, you are only 23 for fucks sake
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>>16678028

I think the issue you have is what a lot of young men that lost their virginity later in life have. I dealt with it to. I lost mine at 21 to a girl who had had 7 previous partners. The girl I'm with now had only one partner before me.

The thing you have to realize is that humans aren't monogamous creatures. Scientifically the feeling you get when with someone you "love" is the same as the feeling you get doing heroin.

That doesn't at all diminish the power of experiencing love. Just realize that this girl is not the only girl you could ever be with, this isn't your one chance at being in a relationship.

We make relationships work, and sometimes issues arise, and they end. There isn't just one person for one person, it doesn't work that way. We wouldn't get horny or look at porn, or have casual sex if it did.

If she is 28 and has had 5 sexual partners, lets say the average person loses their virginity at 17, that would be she is having sex with one new person every two to three years. I know people who have multiple new partners a month, or juggle multiple partners at one time.

As for the pornography, are you more conservative sexually? I know I don't like my girlfriend watching porn with me because I feel kind of insecure about my deviant sexual desires.

is she very sexual? Are you insecure about not having experienced sex with multiple partners?
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>>16678065
She did put up a lot, and i doubt she had me as a filler, tho her commitment seems weird, it looks good from her side i guess..

>>16678068
Well fuck then, i guess i should just have sex all over then... why can't we have sex with others then..
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>>16678085

That is not neccesarily the answer. And what do you mean with that last part?
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>>16678068
Damn that's good happy I hopped on to see what was being posted
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>>16678065
>if she's disrespectful enough to not remove her ex on facebook

Why is that disrespectful?
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>>16678068
as for porn, not really. I prefer vanilla, but i'm ok with other stuff. Don't really have any deviant sexual desires, there's things to try from time to time, but don't really see anything weird with it.
In what way do you mean sexual? No, the sex is alright now that we're not using condoms as ofen. What bothers me is that she had sex with others, and i didn't. She can judge me and i can't judge her.

>>16678090
Well, that's what you were implying weren't you? Why would i commit only to her then, if i fantasie about banging a friend of mine, why not just do it..
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>>16678100
because i don't feel like watching her being happy talking to somebody that used to fuck her for 10 years...
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>>16678100
because OP already voiced to her he wasnt comfortable with that, and shes a bitch for blowing him off. not to mention they still stay in touch. red flags everywhere man
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>>16678116
It doesn't make you happy, but why is it disrespectful?
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>>16678127
Yeah, but what if cutting contacts with people he disapproves of makes her uncomfortable?
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>>16678104

Not at all, what I'm implying is being okay with yourself so you can give this girl all of yourself, but in the end it doesn't really matter whether this relationship works out.

I mean if you feel the need to explore your sexuality, don't hold yourself back. BUT, and this is a big but, if you really want to marry or have a family with this girl, don't throw it out over something petty like not having multiple sex partners.

And to be honest, I highly doubt she judges you for not having had more sex than you, if anything she probably feels insecure and thankful that you're not like other guys.
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>>16678135
youre an idiot
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>>16678156
Elaborate.
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>>16678158
>>16678158
id rather not feed a troll
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>>16677937

>girl has multiple partners
>doesn't bang him with much enthusiasm
>schlicks it regularly
>dude is concerned
>DUDE MAN LOL SO INSECURE

Fuck off you cuck, he has every right to be concerned.

OP you need to stop giving her so much weight in your life, women always come second. Welcome to the world of whores though. Reckless women having reckless sex causing them to be reckless in relationships. And you have faggots here trying to defend it.

If she aint up to standards then drop her.
>>
Op here
I feel really depressed.
If i saw myself thru mature eyes, i'd say i'm just being childish. But i can't really get over it.
I feel like shit, and i'm starting to really fucking hate her for it.

>>16678237
You're right, i guess i should focus on being me first, and working on things i like. And having that as a secondary thing in my life, i guess i've just put myself too much into it..
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>>16678237
>girl has multiple partners
She had them, most of the people at that age do.

>doesn't bang him with much enthusiasm
Could be his insecurity and inexperience prevents him from satisfying her.

>schlicks it regularly
See above.

>dude is concerned
He hasn't voiced his further concerns to her.
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>>16678028
you need to multiply 5 by 3. she had sex with 15 different guys.girls like to lie about their number of sexual partners. also she secretly hates you for accepting her past.
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>>16678244
>*I* feel really depressed.
>*i'd* say *i'm* just being childish
>*I* feel like shit
>fucking hate her for it.

No, OP, you have problem with yourself. Stop browsing /r9k/ and possibly the redpill.
>>
>>16678251

>She had them, most of the people at that age do
>everyones a whore so its ok

>Could be his insecurity and inexperience prevents him from satisfying her.
You really are a cuck aren't you? Pedestaling a girl you never met.

>He hasn't voiced his further concerns to her.
>expecting words to fix the problem

Step up.

>>16678244
You feel burnt because you're expecting a women to do what's right by you. Big mistake. Live and learn man.
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>>16678273
>everyones a whore so its ok
If he has a problem with someone he perceives as a whole, why be in a relationship with one? That's just self-destructive.

>You really are a cuck aren't you? Pedestaling a girl you never met.
How is satisfying a girl you like translate into being a cuck? That's some bad case of egoism mixed with low self-confidence. You won't be below anyone if you satisfy your girl.

>expecting words to fix the problem
OP is voicing his concerns and trying to find the solution to the problem here, through words, isn't he?
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>>16678291

>If he has a problem with someone he perceives as a whole, why be in a relationship with one? That's just self-destructive.
You're getting the point, congratulations.

>How is satisfying a girl you like translate into being a cuck?
Because you're instantly assuming this is his fault and he's just not doing enough like a good cuck.

>OP is voicing his concerns and trying to find the solution to the problem here, through words, isn't he?
Yes but we aren't his selfish girlfriend now are we.
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>>16677897

Autism alert.

Holy fuck dude, you are so insecure and anxious it's a wonder she's still there at all. From what you've written she isn't the problem.

You need to fix yourself and then look at what flaws she has.
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>>16678254
>image

Thanks for reminding me AWALT.
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She sounds like a slut, dude. I'd dump her. use her for sex, don't get attached.

If a girl doesn't respect you enough to understand that talking to her ex's is cheating in your book, she's not gf material.

Don't get attached. don't get attached. don't get attached. maintain your dignity. she will only hurt you.
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>>16678299
Yeah i think as anon wrote before, I've given the relationship thing a bit too much weight.

>>16678318
I wasn't like this when i met her, was full of confidence. It slowly chipped away with her not doing things that would make me secure. Things that she'd do so i could trust her. as >>16678273
said, he's right
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>>16678299
Dude, you're not doing him a favor. He's extremely insecure and doesn't need someone telling him that girls are shit and it's not his fault in the slightest.

As >>16678318 said, he should try to fix himself first. OP, try voicing your concerns with your gf and explain her why you feel a certain way, if you're with her for stuff other than sex, she could be willing to help you.
If it still bothers you, find someone with similar sexual experience.
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>>16678354
you should talk to her about these concerns anon. but dont invest yourself too far into the relationship until you see her reciprocate. maybe ask her where things are going? if you see yourselves living together later and whatnot
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>>16678354
m8, you're either samefagging, or can't accept anything other than angry robot meme spewing.
She didn't destroy your self-confidence, you newer had it.
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>>16678392
you're proly a virgin.. I've had a shit ton, that's how i got her, but it turned south...
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>>16678413
Are you unable to take advice from anyone who isn't feeding your ego?

At least tell us what made you interested in that girl and tell us something about you.
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>>16678473
Actually i want the exact opposite.
She was pretty, and damn as hell interesting.
Every day was a blast, and we wouls just laugh the whole time like idiots. That lasted for like 5 months, then she had a few fits, and now i fucking hate her.
Want any specifics?
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>>16678116
stop it, dude. if you can't move on and trust her, do her a favor and break up. you sound like a limp-dicked loser who's super insecure. she doesn't need to shut off half of the population because you have obsessive thoughts about her being happy elsewhere or with someone else for a bit. newsflash: if you only want someone to be happy when YOU show them affection and consideration, but not at any other time, you're a selfish and maniupulative asshole. that isn't love, that's being controlling.
unless you have legitimate proof of her cheating, I don't even know why you bother us with your obvious baggage.
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>>16678262
THIS
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>>16678803
>>16678809
Yeh, its true that i need to work on my shit. I'll definetly do some martial arts that ive stopped last year (been doing it for 10 years tho). I think the solution is to put relations as something secondary in life, and just enjoy life more. I ahould be happy with myself. As for the trust issues, i dont trust anyone, i guess ill just have a relatonship i wont commit as much in, so it wont really bother me
>>
And by realations i mean relationship in gemeral.
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