I probably just dropped out of uni.I'm not blaming others,it was my laziness and carelessness./adv/, how to handle anger, self-hatred and shame?
Thank for the reply,I'll try to keep my story short.I've failed a particular class 2 times, and this is the 3rd time I'm learning it. You can queue up for exam 3 times, I failed 1 one, overslept on another one and I totally forget the third one. If you take a class 3 times without passing it, it's over, your dropped out.
I've mailed my professor, but nevertheless, I hate myself.I'm a lazy fuck, my family is kind to support me ( despite we are kinda poor) and I just feel so ashamed that I fail and failed them .
Be nice to yourself. Accept your shame/hatred/feelings as much as you can. Go through these big emotions slowly, you may feel these feelings for some time, but it will get easier day by day. Separate out what your family wants and what you want. There are an abundance of ways to get what you want. Focus on meeting your needs.
Thanks for the general advice.I'll try, but right now I just want to bury myself in a hole ... I want to cry but I simply can't .
Anyways, you sound experienced, you had something like this before ?
I know that and that road to success is paved with failures .... I just failed so many times trying to change myself to be a hard-working person, I can only just hate myself. I could've prevented this.
This. The thing that really bothering me is that I really could've prevented this,I had good chances,I could've learn , I've known that I'm dancing on a blade's edge.The thing that makes this shit the worst is that I feel so immensely stupid, so much I can't put it to words.
A lot of experience. Life doesn't get easier, you get better. Stay aware of how you feel. Be aware of how tight your muscles will get from this stress and spend some time meditating/relaxing your muscles.
There are an abundance of ways to reach your goals. You don't need to beat yourself up over past performance. It's okay to be aware of it. Focus on meeting your needs. Exercise will help you work out these feelings and give you a small success at making you feel better. The small successes are the important ones, they make success addictive.
I'm trying to carve this fuckin feeling to my brain to never forget.I'm just really afraid I'll wake up on a day a week later and life's gonna be like before this me finding excuses to do hard work .
I've tried meditating before, It was somewhat effective calming my shit down, but life happened and I've stopped doing it before it would become my habit .
I'm taking notes.
Is it okay to fail this hard then?Somewhere in my mind, it feels like If I'm this stupid to fail something like this, I don't even have a slight chance to make my dreams come true.
Little successes are that important ? I always knew it's a process to become successful , but maybe you made me realize I just don't value the little success here and there enough.
Also, thanks for your patience, you've made me feel a lot better already.
People have failed much worse than you. Separate out your parent's/families love for you and your uni performance and life goals. Get to know yourself really well. You can only control yourself, be nice. Life happens, be proactive about it.
They say life is what happens whilst you're making other plans. I take that to mean, be aware of the moment you're in and make the best decisions you can. You can't control the rest. Focus on meeting your needs.
I would add something Archer said. Nothing is a mistake if you learn from it. Take this as an opportunity to learn about the situation around you and how you feel and think about it.