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date is basically lesbian, what do I do?
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hey,

I started getting back together with my ex the last few weeks. things were going well until I caught her in s lie and accidentally discovered she was dating a girl.

today she came clean about being more attracted to women and that I was the only guy she's ever been sexually attracted to and the only person she's ever had sex with.

she wants me to give her time to decide who to go with, as she's basically stringing two people along here. she confessed she still loves me and isn't accepting of her sexuality. I just don't know if this is going to become a problem in the future if she decides to act on sexual urges that my penis can't satisfy.

reasons for breakup were lying and lack of effort. should I just move on and forget about this or should I see what happens and go from there? will her basically lesbian sexuality get too far in the way?
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>>16677201
Yes, it doesn't matter that it was a girl, she cheated on you. Her bisexuality doesn't matter, her cheating does.
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>>16677223
it wasn't exactly cheating. we broke up and then she started talking with the girl.

but I asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said no, she lied. caught her because she said she was at work and her and the girls car were parked outside of her house.
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seriously just in a slight state of shock and just whatthefucking at everything
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>>16677201

>she confessed she still loves me and isn't accepting of her sexuality

Reword this, please.

My wife was a "lesbian" when we met and I am the only guy she has ever been with. I don't see what the problem is... seems like you just have a bunch of preconceived notions about sexuality and you are confused; she probably already knew this about you and that is why she didn't want to tell you about who she really is.
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>>16677324
reword: she still has feelings for me and is ashamed of exploring her sexuality. she doesn't want to be gay.

I am accepting of her being bisexual, not about her lying. the fact that it happened this way is throwing me off real hard.

isnt it a bit strange to think about having a girlfriend that made you the exception though? she is apparently not attracted to all other men... what the fuck do I even make of that? what the fuck does that say about me?
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>>16677324
>my wife was a "lesbian"

OP again. would you mind telling me s little about your situation and how it panned out in the long run? I'm actually relieved that I'm not the only one who's been in this kind of situation, so thank you just for that.
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>>16677348

As far as her lying, just try to put yourself in her shoes - coming out of the closet to a guy that you're in love with.

You've also confirmed that the problem is all in your head. Do you think her being attracted to you means that you're feminine?
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>>16677381
>feminine?

I don't think I look or act especially feminine... for now, I guess I'll just think I'm so hot that I make gay girls straight.
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>>16677223
This OP. a shluck is a fuck no matter what way it sounds. The fact that you caught her in a lie by accident is still the same whether it's a girl or a guy.

On that same note if you want to end it, try to get a threesome with them and then dump her.
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>>16677396
see
>>16677235


>threesome

out of the question, or so it seems.
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>>16677390

I was being sarcastic... but you answering seriously really says a lot.

She thinks you're attractive, she likes being around you. That should be enough.

>>16677364

What specifically do you want to know? We have been together for fourteen years and still can't get enough of each other. Great sex and fun times all around.
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>>16677416
>specifically?

has her sexuality changed? is she still more attracted to women? had it ever gotten in the way of healthy sex or in the way of your relationship? are non-problematic threesomes a thing?
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>>16677425

She is still the same, and like I said before, I don't see how her liking women is an issue if she likes you and makes a commitment to you. It is like you are wanting her to pick either men or women in order to conform to your view of how the world works when that is clearly not who she is.

You seem to have issues with alternative lifestyles. That is probably why she kept this from you.

As far as threesomes go, we don't do them. We have never found anyone who was attracted to both of us and that was what is most important, either one of us getting more attention would cause hurt feelings for the other.
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>>16677463
I am the only man she has ever been attracted to, I don't have tits or a vagina, so excuse me for trying to discuss whether or not that will become a problem in the future. I don't know why you're sold on the idea that the problem is with my acceptance, it's with any potential problems that may arise.

I don't have issues with "alternative lifestyles" as long as I'm not the victim of one.

I've always agreed with the threesomes part. I just don't really know what to expect, as I've never dated a near-lesbian. thank you for the answers.
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>>16677480
>never dated a near lesbian
never *knowingly* dated. it hadn't been a direct problem before so maybe I am just overthinking what this could mean.
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>>16677480

Well a stranger on the internet can't comfort your fears. You need to have a series of serious conversations with her in order to determine whether she is really bi or just an edgelord wanting attention.

I get wanting to vent your frustrations to someone but you had to have known that you aren't going to get any useful information with this thread.
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>>16677518
it's already has helped a bit, actually.

I don't think she's doing it for attention. there are pretty understandable reasons for why she is the way she is. the results of which include a general distaste for, and acute fear of, men.

people weren't kidding when they warned me about daddy issues.
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>>16677403
Sad days my friend. Well, it's really on how you feel about this relationship. If you feel that you're not treated fairly and she's hiding things, then at least talk it out I guess.
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>>16677546
she was obviously hiding something, and having to be put on hold for her to basically decide on which person to be with is pretty unfair haha
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this chick sounds a bit crazy.

I also don't understand how she had only been attracted to one dude. that to me sounds like she's just sparing your feelings to keep you around in case she decides to closet again and go for a straight relationship to have kids or typical mom stuff.

tread lightly.
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>>16678190
Interesting. I don't really know what she's capable of rationalizing at this point, but that just sounds like pure evil. I've been wary of her commitment long before this happened, but I don't think she would do something like that. She has somewhat of a guilty conscious, I think.
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