I lack the balls to kill myself. I lack the will to keep living. Doesn't seem likely to get better either, as it's got steadily worse for years.
Any suggestions other than sit and wait to die?
Yes. Therapy for your depression. Very original, I know.
Depression is a common illness. What makes it different from other illnesses is that people will object to treatment due to retarded reasons.
Your depression will get better and then you'll be glad you didn't committ suicide. Just ask anyone formerly depressed.
My uncle was very depressed, grew up with my mom in a shitty home and then a shelter. He left everyone behind (we live in NYC) and moved to Japan. This was in the late 70's. Perhaps you need to go to a new place.
But be my pet instead of that other girl's peasant. I'm less reliable but twice the fun :^)
If I take that anime away will you die?
Ever heard of Alan Watts? He was a somewhat popular philosopher and died only recently. Anyway, he gave quite a few public lectures about life, god, purpose and so on. A lot of them are available on YouTube, so if you're bored you should take some time and listen to one, but not the artsy 3 minute motivarional clips, they're lacking the context. No, really listen to one of his longer talks, they're quite fascinating and may even change your point of view on some things. Listening to him can be pretty engaging I've found.
So why even post it?
To become supreme dictator of the world
Probably. It's not a bad temporary aspiration.