My boyfriend insinuates occasionally that I'm clingy even though we only see each other 2 days a week throughout 4 years of dating, and the days we don't see each other we reply to each other's texts after a few hours with rare phone calls late at night (we are both lazy texters to everyone). I feel like this is not clingy and it is reasonable. Sometimes I ask to see him a third day in the week and he gives me a look like I'm being a clingy bitch and reluctantly says ok. He also tells me that I don't like him spending time with his friends, but I don't see where he is getting this as he has 5 days a week to see them and I don't even give a fuck if he goes to the strip club with them. I only get pissed if on the days we do meet he cuts our time short by meeting his friends first and then coming to meet me at 9 or 10 pm when I have work the next day. I feel really hurt by this and it's just odd to me because every other guy I've dated have told me that I'm cold, private and don't see them enough. This is how I know I am not clingy. I just feel like he doesn't enjoy seeing me or something, and when I talk to other people they always talk about how they meet their SO almost all the time, etc. I don't even want to meet him every day, but three days a week would be perfect for me as the 2 days we spend together, he usually picks me up late and we wake up early the next day. Does anyone have similar experiences ?
Do you want to marry someone that unreasonable? He'd be the kind of guy who goes to the bar with his friends every chance he gets and then complains about the wife being a bitch.
I guess so. It's just hard to let go because in the first couple of years he was genuinely clingy, and then we had a bunch of fights, broke up several times - and now it's in this weird phase where I feel like he doesn't give a fuck about me because he doesn't make an effort to see me a lot, but whenever it seems like I'm seriously going to give up on the relationship, he texts and calls me like crazy and starts chasing me like how he did in the very beginning.
Obviously if he wants to keep you, it's for some pragmatic reason; free hole most likely. That way with a minimal effort he gets to have a lass to shag and still is free as a bird most of the time. Moreover he trains you so you get used to the fact that this whole relationship is based on minimal contact & interaction, and he knows you will feel guilty for being 'clingy' and won't pester him. Meanwhile he tips some sluts in a brothel and laughs with his bros how naive and easy you are.
Your relationship is in a weird phase because of all the breaking up and getting back together. If you do break up, he knows you two will get back together again eventually.
You've already talked to him about the issue and he cares for a small amount of time, but goes right back to doing what he wants.
Now you need to take the time to think about what direction you want to go. Are you willing to put in another 4 yrs with this person? Do you feel that you can talk to him without feeling judged or made to feel bad? If you move in together before marriage will he be rude to you more because he'll see you often? Do you find yourself comfortable with the idea of him not being around even when youre married? If you have kids together, are you prepared to take care of them while he's out with friends all the time?
If you do break up, don't get back together no matter what.
It doesn't matter what the typical relationship looks like. What matters is how much time together you need to be happy and how much time together he needs to be happy and then compromise.
It isn't cool that he's being so rude to you about wanting to see him.